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|My thirsts for knowledge - HEOP college
Undergraduatesarahadams - Oct 26, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 26, 2011
|'the circumstances surrounding my drop in grades' - Additional information Essay
2 - For the first sentence: "When reviewing my application a certain inconsistency may be noted, second semester junior year my...
Undergraduatecrazymarilynman - Oct 26, 2011 / Truscan2012 - Oct 26, 2011
|'Doctors can be beneficial to everyone' - UMD, what is your something?
UndergraduatejusticeR17 - Oct 26, 2011 / justiceR17 - Oct 26, 2011
|Never Drive Faster than your Guardian Angel Can Fly
2 - Great, moving/emotional essay! :) I say this is ready to be submitted, but revise it over one more time...
Undergraduatenathalias - Oct 25, 2011 / Truscan2012 - Oct 26, 2011
|Destroy it. I was raised in a family that was essentially built on nothing.
2 - This is a very well written essay. I would just advise you to extrapolate on your experience at BTX,...
Undergraduateszheng - Oct 26, 2011 / myschrifsteller - Oct 26, 2011
|'Camila lives with my father in Florida' - A Person Who Has Impacted My Life
NEW - Okay so I wrote this essay and I feel like it is missing something! Please help! Thanks! LIVING...
Undergraduatesarahbru - Oct 26, 2011 / — -
|'Imagination Reality' - ApplyTexas Essay
3 - Thank you so much. Someone please help me with grammar and structure. I changed my essay in some part....
Undergraduatetippu - Oct 22, 2011 / tippu - Oct 26, 2011
|'The Filipino-American community' - U-Mich supplementary
2 - Michigan could barely make it to the one -but in Michigan you could go for miles and not spot...
Undergraduatehanh1109 - Oct 24, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 26, 2011
|"Academic and social/educational connections reasons" - Transfer CommonApp Essay
2 - Sometimes students like myself may make the wrong choices when it comes to college decisions, and we are left...
Undergraduatendumais1 - Oct 24, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 26, 2011
|"Barbie Dolls and our youngest generation"- Common App Prompt 2
2 - Their plastic teeth glittered with superficiality .---I love this! My day of babysitting did not only consisted of...
Undergraduatecocoadams37 - Oct 24, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 26, 2011
|"She appreciates you beforehand" - (Stanford supplement, roommate note)
UndergraduateMeylinaless - Oct 24, 2011 / Meylinaless - Oct 26, 2011
|The young girl I used to be: What contributed to your personal / Academic Development
UndergraduateAv02 - Oct 24, 2011 / shknght - Oct 26, 2011
|The Wanting Child - character in fiction, historical figure - Common App Essay
2 - Hi Irene Sometimes it's to good to keep the reader in suspense, keeping some information concealed, with only...
Undergraduateirenesue - Oct 23, 2011 / Danny154 - Oct 26, 2011
|'Mathematics and Life' - Cornell: Art and Science supplementary essay
7 - I also think fencing does not make much connection in your choosing math as your life goal. You definately...
Undergraduatenikolnikonchuk - Sep 25, 2011 / AmethystLiang - Oct 26, 2011
|'taking care of the elderly was a responsibility' - UC My world and My Experience
Undergraduatewyby45 - Oct 13, 2011 / wyby45 - Oct 26, 2011
|"Getting to the Pointe" A Dancer's Common App Short Answer, Personal Essay
UndergraduateOhhhlivia - Oct 25, 2011 / CatY - Oct 26, 2011
|Stanford essays - What matters to you (service), Letter (list), Experience (enzymes)
4 - Thanks for your comments you guys, they're much appreciated and definitely helped me with my essays! and i'm glad...
Undergraduateamajor12 - Oct 22, 2011 / amajor12 - Oct 25, 2011
|'the influence that my sister has on me' - texas common app. essay
Undergraduategateway7u - Oct 24, 2011 / gateway7u - Oct 25, 2011
|"Big Questions" - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
2 - I can feel your passion pouring from your words. very good essay; some of the structure had issues, but...
Undergraduatedaniel44992 - Oct 24, 2011 / etron - Oct 25, 2011
|"major in unafraid"- this is my BARNARD essay
Undergraduatesarahadams - Oct 25, 2011 / epd101 - Oct 25, 2011
|'the Veterans Affairs Hospital in San Francisco Volunteering' Common Application
UndergraduateCatY - Oct 22, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 25, 2011
|"Responsibility" - Stanford What Matters to You
NEW - Hey, this is one of my Stanford essays. It in the character limit so I'm good there just any...
Undergraduatedaniel44992 - Oct 25, 2011 / — -
|"Etes-vous pres?" (Are you ready?) Common Application- Topic of your Choice
4 - Thanks for looking over mine! I don't get notified when someone comments back on their thread so I just...
Undergraduatelotte94 - Oct 17, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 25, 2011
|'My Summer Experience' - Temple App. Essay Personal Development essay
3 - Thank you so much, I really appreciate your help! I'll try to re post my essay tomorrow. Hopefully you...
Undergraduatealiniew - Oct 23, 2011 / aliniew - Oct 25, 2011
|'I am an American Palestinian' - Peace Corps essay #1
2 - . I have also worked with non-profit organizations to help raise money.- this is part of a list so...
Undergraduatejkal - Oct 23, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 25, 2011
|"Behave, believe, and live like a true American"; An Educational Prison/ COMMON APP
2 - I was whisked away to the land of opportunity when I was 10, an age defined by an unquenchable...
UndergraduateReeny - Oct 23, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 25, 2011
|'Being different and wanting more equality' - Personal common app
Undergraduatelistix - Oct 20, 2011 / listix - Oct 25, 2011
|'preparations for the move continued' - Significant Challenge supplement
2 - I was eager to take advantage of the situation, and although I knew it wouldn't be an easy change,...
Undergraduatekfrost12 - Oct 25, 2011 / beccalevesque - Oct 25, 2011
|'I always feel I need to do more' - Personal statement UGRAD program
NEW - Personal Statement When I started writing this personal statement is also the time when I could hold back and...
Undergraduateandytranhung - Oct 25, 2011 / — -
|'strive for the best and never give up' - FSU admission
UndergraduateLimeLight_2012 - Oct 9, 2011 / LimeLight_2012 - Oct 25, 2011
|'Love for art, music, computers, web/media, acting' - College Application
3 - Thank you for your reply. I will look into using passive structure but can you give me an example...
Undergraduatemantica - Oct 23, 2011 / mantica - Oct 25, 2011
|mathematic, my dream- Cornell: Art and Science supplementary essay
3 - Thank you so much for your constructive advice. After revision and deletion, the essay now only has 427 words....
Undergraduateparker - Oct 24, 2011 / parker - Oct 25, 2011
|'a miraculous religious discovery' - Common App -Most Influential Person
Undergraduateelijahcrago - Oct 24, 2011 / cloudwatcher - Oct 25, 2011
|'I learned about my Shadow' - Common Application: The Greatest Issue of All
2 - there are few grammar errors. How often do video games inspire life-changing decisions? For most people, not at all,...
Undergraduatedoortothe - Oct 24, 2011 / parker - Oct 25, 2011
|The language of the universe- comonapp extracurriculars essay.
3 - I agree. I like the way you can incorporate the rather daunting 'SAT' vocabularies like they belong there, and...
Undergraduateabhilasha12 - Oct 13, 2011 / smartanddumber - Oct 25, 2011
|'Passion for Singing' - Common Application Brief <1000 char Response
3 - it's a stunning essay, really. i love how you've not only described your passion but intricately bound it with...
Undergraduatesm9453 - Oct 15, 2011 / abhilasha12 - Oct 25, 2011
|Princeton Quote Essay - "Palmetto Boys State Redo"
2 - Your essay is quite well written! You've got quite a paradigm shift going on. I like how your conclusion...
Undergraduatedaniel44992 - Oct 24, 2011 / CatY - Oct 25, 2011
|"My experience in Magic the Gathering" Common App prompt
2 - THIS IS VERY GOOD... GREAT JOB the only thing is use what you learned while playing your games and...
Undergraduateepd101 - Oct 24, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 24, 2011
|My family's struggle against PKD - Common App Essay!
3 - i understand that the Admission Officer see a lot essay about ILLNESS, DISEASE but what makes an essay a...
Undergraduatetdupree - Oct 22, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 24, 2011
|'Experience at my part time job' - My commom app essay
2 - This really was a defining moment for me because one of the biggest problems I've had is facing conflict...
Undergraduateeman9416 - Oct 23, 2011 / hanh1109 - Oct 24, 2011
|'When the word "Spain" is mentioned' - a significant experience, achievement, risk
NEW - CRITIQUE ME!! I want to make this essay as strong as possible. PLEASE pick on me!! Evaluate a...
Undergraduatekdelaney - Oct 24, 2011 / — -
|'Special Friends program' - Common App- Extracurricular Activity
2 - This is extremely well-put together and powerful but I think your intro could be made a little bit more...
Undergraduatekdelaney - Oct 24, 2011 / coexistential - Oct 24, 2011
|Evaluate a risk you have taken (asking a girl to a dance): CommonApp Prompt
Undergraduateymivyswimmer - Oct 22, 2011 / coexistential - Oct 24, 2011
|'In the summer' - How did you first learn about Wagner College?
2 - "Who would ever know that getting lost is a good thing?" "Who would have ever known that getting lost...
Undergraduatesarahadams - Oct 24, 2011 / tdupree - Oct 24, 2011
|'the process of choosing my qualifications' - Difficulty making an important decision
2 - Is this for the common app? The essay should be between 250-700 words. With your first sentence, try to...
UndergraduateCat0687 - Oct 24, 2011 / kdelaney - Oct 24, 2011
|'he thinks I'm smart' - significant person- common app essay
NEW - hi, this is my first draft. WARNING: I am terrible at conventions D: I need ALOT of help with...
Undergraduatehanh1109 - Oct 24, 2011 / — -
|"What the Heck Theory" - Stanford Letter to Roommate Essay
Undergraduateannnyau - Oct 24, 2011 / listix - Oct 24, 2011
|Diverse lifestyle and how VCU will benefit me -- VCU Personal Statement
UndergraduateFBWP12 - Oct 24, 2011 / sarahadams - Oct 24, 2011
|"I've lived a lie for sixteen years." - Common App Essay: A New Life
3 - I'll start a little further back. I think this could be removed or you should change it a bit....
UndergraduateLucasAuraelius - Oct 24, 2011 / listix - Oct 24, 2011
|UF Essay - NEED HELP WITH TOPIC (they're looking for an uplifting essay?)
Undergraduateviennamorelli - Oct 24, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 24, 2011
|'Union Jacks and colonial flags' - Common App
Undergraduateckpckp1994 - Oct 23, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 24, 2011
|'waiting for the outcome of the game show' - WHARTON ESSAY
Undergraduatearthurwu1 - Oct 24, 2011 / arthurwu1 - Oct 24, 2011
|"Number 13" - The impact someone has made on your life and explain how.
6 - Definitely explain like the others said above, how his death and positive energy affected you....
Undergraduatealexmb - Oct 24, 2011 / FBWP12 - Oct 24, 2011
|'Poverty in America and volunteering' - CommonApp Personal Essay Revision
2 - Let me just say, this is the first time I have actually seen someone write from this prompt. As...
Undergraduatemanny12 - Oct 23, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 24, 2011
|'I want to study Finance' - University of Illinois at Chicago
3 - Thank you hixtine^^ I will change those small errors. For the lack of explanation, I kinda want to make...
UndergraduateIceforest - Oct 24, 2011 / Iceforest - Oct 24, 2011
|The act on divorcement; my mother is the most incredible woman
Undergraduatehannahtran123 - Oct 22, 2011 / hannahtran123 - Oct 24, 2011
|'Judging a book by its cover' - essay for Wagnar College
Undergraduatesarahadams - Oct 24, 2011 / — -
|And All That Jazz. Michigan Supplement.
Undergraduatefifty8 - Oct 22, 2011 / fifty8 - Oct 24, 2011
|"I choose to worship empathy." - Common App Essay
UndergraduateJessH - Oct 24, 2011 / kate11everett - Oct 24, 2011
|'My uncle is a Colonel in the Air Force' - Air Force Academy Interest Essay
Undergraduatechtrojans1004 - Oct 23, 2011 / JessH - Oct 24, 2011
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