|Undergraduate [25,500] - page 225 of 426|
|'I plan becoming a petroleum engineer' - ApplyTexas Essay C
UndergraduateLilpatriot50 - Oct 9, 2011 / Lilpatriot50 - Oct 9, 2011
|'My mother is what I aspire to be' - who has made an impact on your life
4 - "She is the reason I want to go to into the engineering field" would be better phrased as "She...
UndergraduateLilpatriot50 - Sep 17, 2011 / abhilasha12 - Oct 9, 2011
|Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear: a commonapp essay.
4 - Wow, thanks for the prompt responses :) @sepulchra 21: this is really NOT the title I'm considering as it...
Undergraduateabhilasha12 - Oct 9, 2011 / abhilasha12 - Oct 9, 2011
|'Chinese student, physics and chemistry classes' - UC the World I Came From
8 - Now see my edited (improved) essay. Before attending high school, I was good at mathematics and science. However,...
UndergraduateKen Brosa - Oct 6, 2011 / Ken Brosa - Oct 9, 2011
|'Students Against Global Warming, HIVE & community clubs' contributions to my school
Undergraduatejagmeet122 - Oct 5, 2011 / abc1400 - Oct 9, 2011
|'Standing in a gondola in the heart of Mexico' - Common app personal statement
3 - deathgoest Well it was when I was entering high school, and after that I started going after goal...
UndergraduateJohn9879 - Oct 9, 2011 / John9879 - Oct 9, 2011
|'You are lucky to live in the suburbs' - Why Washington University?
Undergraduateankitrohan - Oct 9, 2011 / ankitrohan - Oct 9, 2011
|Cultural Diffusion: spirit and culture - Rutgers Essay
Undergraduatetrishhha - Oct 7, 2011 / trishhha - Oct 9, 2011
|'a strong economics curriculum' - Why Swarthmore
3 - Overall, this is an excellent essay that expertly conveys your desire to attend Swarthmore. I would suggest elaborating on...
Undergraduatedinghuiyang_007 - Oct 8, 2011 / PrimeTime309 - Oct 9, 2011
|'skills I have gained in communication / cooperation' Application- Cultural diversity
2 - "different, looked different, or thought different" differently, adverb needs to be used. but overall its quite nice. i...
Undergraduatereidabook - Oct 9, 2011 / christopherpeng - Oct 9, 2011
|Common App essay: my reflection on the system of college admittance
3 - Wow thanks for your input man, really helped, so what do you think needs improvement besides the intro?...
Undergraduatechristopherpeng - Oct 9, 2011 / christopherpeng - Oct 9, 2011
|Uchicago - (Why Uchig) More than a school
2 - sounds good, but saying, lastly kind of cheapens your essay in my opinion. You need different ways of introducing...
Undergraduatetournedos - Oct 9, 2011 / reidabook - Oct 9, 2011
|"I want to help countries like my home country" - Personal Statement
Undergraduateimonaroll - Sep 10, 2011 / imonaroll - Oct 9, 2011
|'Swimming life' - University of Florida freshman essay
3 - Thank you so much. Do you think the meaningful event I am referring too is really "meaningful"? Any what...
UndergraduateCarmenCM - Oct 4, 2011 / CarmenCM - Oct 8, 2011
|"Names" - An essay on overcoming personal adversity and culture shock
2 - "And that's when I broke down and cried." "I realized at the moment what my grandmother meant""I realized...
Undergraduatekaratemanchan37 - Oct 8, 2011 / dinghuiyang_007 - Oct 8, 2011
|'Media influencing people in negative way' issue of personal, local, national
2 - Even though media like magazines, television, or internet is to broad our mind and gain new information for our...
Undergraduatedd9679 - Oct 8, 2011 / niesaysi - Oct 8, 2011
|'Asian Indian background' - rutgers essay
Undergraduatepavan360 - Oct 3, 2011 / kelseyxramirez - Oct 8, 2011
|I wrote about my friends obsession: Stanford Supp.-Write a letter to your roommate
Undergraduatejayzers94 - Oct 8, 2011 / Dimitris - Oct 8, 2011
|'very proud of my father' - the world you come from - UCD
3 - "He is my sole motivation of working hard at school and my guide to socialize in the community. I...
Undergraduated2h4 - Oct 7, 2011 / karatemanchan37 - Oct 8, 2011
|'Playing on the Strengths' - Transfer Student Essay for Texas A&M
4 - Thank you!!!...
UndergraduateGoboysgirl - Oct 4, 2011 / Goboysgirl - Oct 8, 2011
|Experiences to consider medicine as your future profession - BROWN PLME
3 - I hate to break it to you but this question answer and the second question answer for the PLME...
Undergraduateherbyberby - Sep 16, 2011 / juniormathwiz - Oct 8, 2011
|'Sleeping in laundromats' - UF undergrad essay
6 - I am still very unsure about my conclusion because i dont feel as though im answering the last part...
Undergraduatepotter14 - Oct 6, 2011 / potter14 - Oct 8, 2011
|'The simplest things in life...' - The extracurricular part of common app
3 - This is an excellent topic and it shows the characteristics of a good and involved student. And get...
UndergraduateDii - Oct 6, 2011 / cinnamonw726 - Oct 7, 2011
|"Someone to be my friend." - the topic "What drives me".
Undergraduateweebo_girl - Oct 6, 2011 / weebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011
|Life hasn't been handed to me on a silver platter, i've had to claw and fight to reach the success
Undergraduatekeving826 - Oct 1, 2011 / keving826 - Oct 7, 2011
|'thirst for innovation' - Essay on why i chose Biomedical Engineering
3 - but they cannot produce a living, breathing and thinking human being.--Don't people have kids? Clarify this sentence, maybe rephrase...
Undergraduateweebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011 / etron - Oct 7, 2011
|'Cellular Motility and Sleep Muttering' - Stanford Roommate essay
3 - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback. I'll try to rework it to include these things :)...
Undergraduateetron - Oct 6, 2011 / etron - Oct 7, 2011
|'my default to take action against the injustice' - risk, achievement common app
Undergraduateangela711819 - Oct 7, 2011 / angela711819 - Oct 7, 2011
|The golf metaphor cliche? CommonApp - conveying ideas and writing something unique
Undergraduatejhchan - Oct 4, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 7, 2011
|'self-examination of character' - National Merit Finalist Essay
3 - Susan, Thank you! I truly appreciate the help! I'll revise those bits. I was worried that using this event...
Undergraduatejk5228 - Oct 6, 2011 / jk5228 - Oct 7, 2011
|'adequate teaching recourses' - Rice Why Essay
2 - It was a snapshot of the brick red Lovett Hall that initially caught my heart ---(and attention?)---two years ago....
UndergraduateSophya - Oct 7, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 7, 2011
|Personal statement incorporating existential themes such as boredom, diversion, etc.
3 - I concerned myself with things I should not have cared about-fitting in, dating, not being a "loser"-when really, I...
Undergraduatemikedot48 - Sep 10, 2011 / weebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011
|Ready to complete English degree-Readmission Essay/Personal Statement for Application
3 - Hello, Your essay sounds great so far. Aside from a few grammatical errors, the only problem is that...
UndergraduateRedWasp - Oct 6, 2011 / admission2012 - Oct 7, 2011
|'When I lost my Daddy' A major obstacle That Faced Was in my personal Life...
3 - Hello Sir?madam, Thank U So much for removing my errors,i was really unsure were i was wrong Or right?!!...
Undergraduatemonali - Oct 6, 2011 / monali - Oct 6, 2011
|"Service appeals most to me." FSU Essay
2 - After that project, I was always eager to sign up for the service projects my youth group took part...
Undergraduatecarlyissocool - Oct 5, 2011 / beccalevesque - Oct 6, 2011
|'I practiced air rifling' - extracurricular activities~
2 - On the first day of school, I remember my English teacher asking every single student what their hobbies/activities they...
Undergraduaterdlee94 - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'the Youth Action Board' - UNC Supplement
2 - When everyone around you is making decisions that don't coincide with your beliefs, it's easy to feel lost, alone,...
UndergraduateJessEllen - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'cross-country race and tough physics problems' - essay about extracular activities
Undergraduatewillow - Oct 6, 2011 / allisonweeks73 - Oct 6, 2011
|Bullying: University of Texas - Issue of Importance ('too much Animal Planet')
4 - Thanks so much! Here's an edited version: I have a confession: I watch far too much Animal Planet...and...
Undergraduateallisonweeks73 - Sep 29, 2011 / allisonweeks73 - Oct 6, 2011
|'the field of Social and Cultural Anthropology' - Duke Supplement_Research Project
4 - Hello, I still didn't learn anything about your research. You only have two short paragraphs, you need to...
Undergraduateduke9418 - Oct 5, 2011 / admission2012 - Oct 6, 2011
|'determination, experience, and commitment to succeed' - physician assistant school
3 - This sounds great. However, although I know that you underwent a loss of family all at once, I feel...
Undergraduatevp2396 - Oct 4, 2011 / Alaim439 - Oct 6, 2011
|'quiet afternoon in the area' - common app on inspiration
2 - Your essay is quite developed you need to write more on your connection to what you saw on that...
UndergraduateDii - Oct 6, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 6, 2011
|Working at Staples- Common App Short Answer
2 - I was fortunate enough to obtain a job at Staples, an office supplies retail store, as a cashier this...
Undergraduatedrizzy94 - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'exposed to many ethnic backgrounds, religions, and experiences' -Rutgers Cultural
2 - This is a good piece of writing . The piece of writing shows that you are an open-minded individual...
Undergraduatefgongora - Oct 4, 2011 / Dii - Oct 6, 2011
|'Economics and International Business as my professional goal' Northwestern-Why Us?
2 - Your wirting covers the part of the question your worried about.But I think it needs a little revising fro...
UndergraduateGFJenny - Oct 3, 2011 / Dii - Oct 6, 2011
|"Senior Salute" -a situation in which you felt that you or others were treated unfair
2 - Each year, the local newspaper honors seniors from all high schools in which they serve for the title of...
Undergraduatenoboundaries - Oct 3, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'the rural countryside of Vietnam' - my grandfather made impact on my life
4 - That's cool. I have a little suggestion----> You may consider writing more on your introductory paragraph. Please leave reviews...
Undergraduatemissmichelle - Oct 5, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 6, 2011
|'a normal school day at Alliance' an experience in which you left your comfort zone
2 - bump..anyone?...
Undergraduatehuss182 - Oct 4, 2011 / huss182 - Oct 6, 2011
|'comprehension of collaboration based on understanding' - diverse michigan state
1 - topic:If admitted to Michigan State, you will join a diverse community of students, faculty, staff, and alumni. Please respond...
UndergraduateAleen1024 - Oct 6, 2011 / — -
|University of Florida essay Topic about how living with my father made me independent
2 - Hi Keisey K. Ramirez, I think that talking about your trip the the Dominican Republic and how your...
Undergraduatekelseyxramirez - Oct 5, 2011 / rosemarimalu - Oct 5, 2011
|'Why I wish to leave my current university' - I am transferrring to Virginia Tech
2 - Hi, Alaysha! I think this is a really good statement, and it's very strong. I especially like the upbeat...
Undergraduatelaysha - Oct 3, 2011 / Leah_Writer - Oct 5, 2011
|Queerly Phrased - Common App essay?
3 - The subject matter of your essay is appropriate and conveys a clear message. It also would be categorized as...
UndergraduateOikakete - Oct 3, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 5, 2011
|Essay on the difficulties of being born with Craniosynostosis - Common App
Undergraduatedabestharpis - Oct 2, 2011 / kidagakash - Oct 5, 2011
|'Artistic Journey' - Common App-Topic 1-Significant Experience
2 - When I was younger, I saw amazing paintings by the masters and always thought to myself aboutremembered how absolutely...
UndergraduateHereticKeyboard - Oct 2, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 5, 2011
|'My family and my qualities' - application for UCF?
5 - Your welcome :) Well I would remove the stress sentence and how you think it affects people, because it's...
Undergraduatekl1nt - Oct 4, 2011 / MidnightSkies50 - Oct 5, 2011
|'art has given me awards and satisfaction' -Extracurricular Essay
5 - Yes thanks a lot Yeah there is a sort of discrepancy in the transition between the anecdote and the...
UndergraduateDarthMaul - Oct 4, 2011 / DarthMaul - Oct 5, 2011
|Students: The Real Problem with American Schools - Common App - Not Personal Enough?
2 - In my opinion,I am not trying to be mean, it is not personal at all. First. you never answeared...
Undergraduatechococheesey - Oct 4, 2011 / nikolnikonchuk - Oct 4, 2011
|'My experience in moving to Israel' - Common App
Undergraduateestherfm - Sep 22, 2011 / estherfm - Oct 4, 2011
|Questbridge Essay: A Concept Learned
Undergraduaterifatmursalin - Sep 25, 2011 / nikolnikonchuk - Oct 4, 2011
|(Photography)- Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
2 - "One, two, three!",was the phrase that was most spoken words in the Robinson Photo Club in which I foundjoinin...
Undergraduatetjxodbs - Oct 4, 2011 / Denice - Oct 4, 2011
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