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|Experience with Karate , My Common Application Short Answer
3 - Thank you , Charlotte! I do think it's much better to organize the paragraph like the way you said....
UndergraduateAmethystLiang - Oct 15, 2011 / AmethystLiang - Oct 15, 2011
|'to continue my passion 4 scientific research' why applying to that specific college
Undergraduatereidabook - Oct 15, 2011 / sm9453 - Oct 15, 2011
|'work hard and nap hard' - Stanford Roommate Essay
UndergraduateAnnaBanan - Oct 15, 2011 / reidabook - Oct 15, 2011
|A Passion to Last A Lifetime -- CommonApp EC Activity
Undergraduatebr93 - Oct 14, 2011 / sm9453 - Oct 15, 2011
|Animal Shelter Experience- Common app short essay
4 - Haha I found your revised version better but I guess it just depends on the reader. Either way, your...
Undergraduatelolo12 - Oct 13, 2011 / seni012 - Oct 15, 2011
|'Volunteering at the Medical Center' - Common App Short Answer?
4 - ohh thanks so much ana! i'll make those corrections :) but i don't really understand what you're trying...
UndergraduateColomvan - Oct 11, 2011 / Colomvan - Oct 15, 2011
|'instructive, supportive and compassionate' - personal statement-speech and language
Undergraduatenicnac - Oct 14, 2011 / nicnac - Oct 15, 2011
|'the best learning environment to grow' - NYU supplement
6 - anyone? i did some corrections again. I am looking for the best learning environment in which to...
Undergraduatewgcgwg - Oct 10, 2011 / wgcgwg - Oct 15, 2011
|'Baby Steps' - Common App Influential Person Essay
Undergraduateteoth5 - Oct 15, 2011 / — -
|"What will my classmates think of me now?" - experience common app
Undergraduatesnash13 - Oct 14, 2011 / madilla - Oct 15, 2011
|To Be Understood- Essay about autism for Case Western University
NEW - To Be Understood It was the first day of high school. Like every other freshman, I was scampering...
Undergraduateseni012 - Oct 15, 2011 / — -
|Writing about trip to New York - Common Application Essay
4 - It is definitely well-written. Every sentence is a pleasure to read. But sometimes I feel like I'm floating on...
Undergraduatebeatonxstudent - Oct 14, 2011 / august23vn - Oct 15, 2011
|"Students Council President" - significant experience, achievement, risk...
Undergraduatesashnv - Oct 15, 2011 / — -
|No more being ignorant - CommonApp Writing - Short Answer
Undergraduatepolk540 - Oct 11, 2011 / AmethystLiang - Oct 15, 2011
|'Dream of a Young Tree' - my commonapp main essay
NEW - I'm a internatinal applicant,so I really need your help 'cause I'm not proficient in English. Here's my main essay.It...
Undergraduatecindylee09 - Oct 15, 2011 / — -
|'everything she has to teach me' - Common Application: Maddy
2 - Brilliantly written. Reminds me of an accepted Yale essay I read several weeks ago about a similar story. ...
Undergraduatesoccerhoo1 - Oct 14, 2011 / beatonxstudent - Oct 14, 2011
|'I want to be challenged' - WHY UCHICAGO? ESSAY
3 - I believe you are a bit repetitive in saying you want to be challenged. Are there other reasons beyond...
Undergraduateecesubayir - Oct 13, 2011 / Prettywings - Oct 14, 2011
|'Fried Rice and Food Paradise' - Rutgers New Brunswick essay
NEW - Rutgers is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit...
Undergraduateyungtszwing - Oct 14, 2011 / — -
|'To achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist' Essay for Purdue University
3 - I agree with the previous post. You should begin with your love of chemistry. What prompted this interest? Discuss...
Undergraduateherosusan - Oct 12, 2011 / Prettywings - Oct 14, 2011
|'the Beijing Academy of Dance, Mrs. Cao' A person who has had a significant influence
Undergraduateonesixty1 - Oct 14, 2011 / yungtszwing - Oct 14, 2011
|'I believe in meritocracy' - SCAD Statement of Purpose
2 - Art is essentially the affirmation, the blessing and the deification of existence.---Nice opening sentence! ... but also flourishes...
Undergraduateverolynn - Oct 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 14, 2011
|'My family emigrated from Zambia' - UCF Essay
3 - thanks...
Undergraduaterushil94 - Oct 13, 2011 / rushil94 - Oct 14, 2011
|I love telling jokes! - CommonApp essay #1
Undergraduatewhatsmynamee - Oct 14, 2011 / tleeoh - Oct 14, 2011
|'My family will be proud and happy' - Rutgers New Brunswick University
2 - I think you can make your choice of college sound even more unique, point out specifically why you are...
Undergraduate2012keneyse - Oct 12, 2011 / onesixty1 - Oct 14, 2011
|'interested in aero space technology' - Purdue University essay
3 - I think you could write more about yourself than describing some facts. We all know that the admission committee...
Undergraduateabcdjackhaku - Oct 9, 2011 / onesixty1 - Oct 14, 2011
|"My 1986 Camaro" - My common app essay
3 - Thanks for the comments. Does anyone have any ideas to make it shorter? It's about 660 words, and the...
Undergraduatekatmandu0071 - Oct 12, 2011 / katmandu0071 - Oct 14, 2011
|UC transfer applications- How skating shaped my life. Prompt 2.
NEW - Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this...
Undergraduatesally9216 - Oct 14, 2011 / — -
|Work of science: University of Virginia
2 - The end of the first paragraph focuses on the challenge of the research itself but the second para (and...
Undergraduatesoccerhoo1 - Oct 14, 2011 / seni012 - Oct 14, 2011
|'the experience of teaching seniors' - Stumped - Common App
2 - I watched quietly as he scratched his head and looked around, trying to make sense of the world around...
Undergraduatethedarkknight - Oct 14, 2011 / soccerhoo1 - Oct 14, 2011
|Discussions on Youth-Common App A person who has had an influence on you
2 - Whenever my parents and I get into a heated discussion, the debate always ends with a sigh on both...
Undergraduateseni012 - Oct 13, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 14, 2011
|'Kalamazoo Area Math and Science Center' - community do you belong to
Undergraduatereidabook - Oct 13, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 13, 2011
|Baba Yetu, Baba Yetu & Art through God, and diversity - CommonApp Personal
NEW - Prompt: A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your...
Undergraduatepolk540 - Oct 13, 2011 / — -
|'Academic Decathlon' - Common App short answer
Undergraduatekatmandu0071 - Oct 12, 2011 / katmandu0071 - Oct 13, 2011
|'character, leadership, and integrity' - What community service mean to me?
2 - ommunity service means more to me,then (than) completing hours and turning them in. It (more clarity?) builds...
Undergraduateakeemg - Oct 13, 2011 / polk540 - Oct 13, 2011
|'Playing travel baseball' - What Influenced you on who you are? UCF
NEW - How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are? Playing travel baseball since elementary school...
Undergraduateredsox16 - Oct 13, 2011 / — -
|Foreign Exchange Host Opportunity-CommonApp ExtraCurricular
4 - Here are my changes...any suggestions? :) Coming from a family who worships the gods of futbol, my just...
UndergraduateCherie94 - Oct 12, 2011 / Cherie94 - Oct 13, 2011
|"I'm not good enough..." - What matters to you and why? Stanford supplement
5 - Thanks! :)...
UndergraduateJ_dawgasian - Oct 12, 2011 / J_dawgasian - Oct 13, 2011
|'As a student athlete' - PT application Essay
UndergraduateBballa25 - Oct 13, 2011 / Bballa25 - Oct 13, 2011
|'aspired to contribute to my work' - admission for rutgers
NEW - Throughout my life I have always aspired to contribute to my work. Whether this was school, sports, or a...
Undergraduatextunitx - Oct 13, 2011 / — -
|Yale Is A Match Made in Heaven. Short answer to the why yale question.
2 - My dream college is one where I would be excited to go to lectures because of my shared passion...
UndergraduateRechy - Oct 12, 2011 / premed123 - Oct 13, 2011
|FSU Essay: leadership, learning, service, and global awareness; baseball player
4 - Thank you :)...
Undergraduatedkoos7 - Oct 12, 2011 / dkoos7 - Oct 13, 2011
|Interest in how money flow - why you are transfering and your objectives to achieve
Undergraduateoscarlpf1 - Oct 13, 2011 / reidabook - Oct 13, 2011
|Why am I taking a Gap Year- Common App
UndergraduateDMA17 - Oct 12, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 13, 2011
|'I can manage time efficiently' - My personal statement
Undergraduatedinkysana - Oct 13, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 13, 2011
|'the four hundred meters athlete' - extracurricular activities or work experience
4 - You didn't exactly use some of the corrections that I made, reread what I wrote, and rewrite it again...
Undergraduateyungtszwing - Oct 11, 2011 / Editor1010 - Oct 13, 2011
|"My Quest for the Perfect Reed.....and Acceptance" - common app
10 - Love it! you will deffinitly stand out with this essay! so differnent from other ones i have read! Honestly...
Undergraduatelywillis - Aug 11, 2011 / r0400293 - Oct 13, 2011
|Getting kicked out of Dance - Common App Essay
Undergraduatetrishhha - Oct 12, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 13, 2011
|"My left and right feet" - essay advice for UM
2 - when addressing the left and right foot separately, use "foot", the singular for "feet". "I recently realized that...
Undergraduatereahyun - Oct 13, 2011 / abhilasha12 - Oct 13, 2011
|"Fifteen Seconds" Influential Person Essay - ApplyTexas Essay Topic A
4 - Overall, I'd say it's a good essay. However, I do have some suggested changes. First, what does the title...
Undergraduatetrevorberry - Sep 2, 2011 / katmandu0071 - Oct 13, 2011
|'The Dreamcast for Christmas' - UC Describe the world you come from...
2 - Living in the suburbs of Southern California's Inland Empire, I had always felt enclosed in the distant mountains that...
UndergraduateArcanox - Oct 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 13, 2011
|'science in all of its many forms' - Personal and Professional Goals
2 - Moreover, it has struck me that it is taken for granted far too frequently. The practical applications for...
UndergraduateMute Math - Oct 11, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 13, 2011
|a new world- a new perspective (the world you come from)
NEW - Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how...
Undergraduatesohab6 - Oct 13, 2011 / — -
|UC 'passion for medicine' - aspirations and dreams
3 - Please critic my second essay UC Prompt 2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or...
Undergraduateprincessgurl52 - Oct 10, 2011 / princessgurl52 - Oct 13, 2011
|'to stand by my decisions and promises' Common app: evaluate a significant experience
2 - I really enjoyed reading your essay. You have excellent writing skills and a very philosophical writing style. I only...
Undergraduatechristopherpeng - Oct 13, 2011 / dumi - Oct 13, 2011
|Going to concerts- Common App short essay
5 - The essay is very well-written, but I agree that it isn't an "extracurricular." However, the thing that stands...
Undergraduatelolo12 - Oct 10, 2011 / katmandu0071 - Oct 12, 2011
|'My lovely grandma is now eighty-four' - influential person
NEW - I remember the two striking images from the afternoon I left my country last year. The first image is...
Undergraduateyungtszwing - Oct 12, 2011 / — -
|'opportunity to head overseas' - FSU essay, I have a start
Undergraduateqazwsxd - Oct 9, 2011 / qazwsxd - Oct 12, 2011
|disability center - Common APP extracurricular Paragraph
Undergraduategirlzshu - Oct 10, 2011 / girlzshu - Oct 12, 2011
|'I had every materialistic thing' - personal information college essay
2 - I think the subject is appropriate enough, though you may want to add something that has to do with...
Undergraduater0400293 - Oct 12, 2011 / gettysberg - Oct 12, 2011
|'the incredible environment around me' - UCF application
NEW - If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain...
Undergraduategettysberg - Oct 12, 2011 / — -
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