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|'The simplest things in life...' - The extracurricular part of common app
3 - This is an excellent topic and it shows the characteristics of a good and involved student. And get...
UndergraduateDii - Oct 6, 2011 / cinnamonw726 - Oct 7, 2011
|"Someone to be my friend." - the topic "What drives me".
Undergraduateweebo_girl - Oct 6, 2011 / weebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011
|Life hasn't been handed to me on a silver platter, i've had to claw and fight to reach the success
Undergraduatekeving826 - Oct 1, 2011 / keving826 - Oct 7, 2011
|'thirst for innovation' - Essay on why i chose Biomedical Engineering
3 - but they cannot produce a living, breathing and thinking human being.--Don't people have kids? Clarify this sentence, maybe rephrase...
Undergraduateweebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011 / etron - Oct 7, 2011
|'Cellular Motility and Sleep Muttering' - Stanford Roommate essay
3 - Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback. I'll try to rework it to include these things :)...
Undergraduateetron - Oct 6, 2011 / etron - Oct 7, 2011
|'my default to take action against the injustice' - risk, achievement common app
Undergraduateangela711819 - Oct 7, 2011 / angela711819 - Oct 7, 2011
|A Blessing In Disguise (determination and interdependence) - common Application
NEW - Hello everyone, this is a revision of my previously posted essay for the common app. Reviews left would be...
UndergraduateRechy - Oct 7, 2011 / — -
|The golf metaphor cliche? CommonApp - conveying ideas and writing something unique
Undergraduatejhchan - Oct 4, 2011 / daniel44992 - Oct 7, 2011
|'self-examination of character' - National Merit Finalist Essay
3 - Susan, Thank you! I truly appreciate the help! I'll revise those bits. I was worried that using this event...
Undergraduatejk5228 - Oct 6, 2011 / jk5228 - Oct 7, 2011
|'adequate teaching recourses' - Rice Why Essay
2 - It was a snapshot of the brick red Lovett Hall that initially caught my heart ---(and attention?)---two years ago....
UndergraduateSophya - Oct 7, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 7, 2011
|Personal statement incorporating existential themes such as boredom, diversion, etc.
3 - I concerned myself with things I should not have cared about-fitting in, dating, not being a "loser"-when really, I...
Undergraduatemikedot48 - Sep 10, 2011 / weebo_girl - Oct 7, 2011
|Ready to complete English degree-Readmission Essay/Personal Statement for Application
3 - Hello, Your essay sounds great so far. Aside from a few grammatical errors, the only problem is that...
UndergraduateRedWasp - Oct 6, 2011 / admission2012 - Oct 7, 2011
|'When I lost my Daddy' A major obstacle That Faced Was in my personal Life...
3 - Hello Sir?madam, Thank U So much for removing my errors,i was really unsure were i was wrong Or right?!!...
Undergraduatemonali - Oct 6, 2011 / monali - Oct 6, 2011
|"Service appeals most to me." FSU Essay
2 - After that project, I was always eager to sign up for the service projects my youth group took part...
Undergraduatecarlyissocool - Oct 5, 2011 / beccalevesque - Oct 6, 2011
|'I practiced air rifling' - extracurricular activities~
2 - On the first day of school, I remember my English teacher asking every single student what their hobbies/activities they...
Undergraduaterdlee94 - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'the Youth Action Board' - UNC Supplement
2 - When everyone around you is making decisions that don't coincide with your beliefs, it's easy to feel lost, alone,...
UndergraduateJessEllen - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'cross-country race and tough physics problems' - essay about extracular activities
Undergraduatewillow - Oct 6, 2011 / allisonweeks73 - Oct 6, 2011
|Bullying: University of Texas - Issue of Importance ('too much Animal Planet')
4 - Thanks so much! Here's an edited version: I have a confession: I watch far too much Animal Planet...and...
Undergraduateallisonweeks73 - Sep 29, 2011 / allisonweeks73 - Oct 6, 2011
|'the field of Social and Cultural Anthropology' - Duke Supplement_Research Project
4 - Hello, I still didn't learn anything about your research. You only have two short paragraphs, you need to...
Undergraduateduke9418 - Oct 5, 2011 / admission2012 - Oct 6, 2011
|'determination, experience, and commitment to succeed' - physician assistant school
3 - This sounds great. However, although I know that you underwent a loss of family all at once, I feel...
Undergraduatevp2396 - Oct 4, 2011 / Alaim439 - Oct 6, 2011
|'quiet afternoon in the area' - common app on inspiration
2 - Your essay is quite developed you need to write more on your connection to what you saw on that...
UndergraduateDii - Oct 6, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 6, 2011
|Working at Staples- Common App Short Answer
2 - I was fortunate enough to obtain a job at Staples, an office supplies retail store, as a cashier this...
Undergraduatedrizzy94 - Oct 5, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'exposed to many ethnic backgrounds, religions, and experiences' -Rutgers Cultural
2 - This is a good piece of writing . The piece of writing shows that you are an open-minded individual...
Undergraduatefgongora - Oct 4, 2011 / Dii - Oct 6, 2011
|'Economics and International Business as my professional goal' Northwestern-Why Us?
2 - Your wirting covers the part of the question your worried about.But I think it needs a little revising fro...
UndergraduateGFJenny - Oct 3, 2011 / Dii - Oct 6, 2011
|"Senior Salute" -a situation in which you felt that you or others were treated unfair
2 - Each year, the local newspaper honors seniors from all high schools in which they serve for the title of...
Undergraduatenoboundaries - Oct 3, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 6, 2011
|'the rural countryside of Vietnam' - my grandfather made impact on my life
4 - That's cool. I have a little suggestion----> You may consider writing more on your introductory paragraph. Please leave reviews...
Undergraduatemissmichelle - Oct 5, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 6, 2011
|'a normal school day at Alliance' an experience in which you left your comfort zone
2 - bump..anyone?...
Undergraduatehuss182 - Oct 4, 2011 / huss182 - Oct 6, 2011
|'comprehension of collaboration based on understanding' - diverse michigan state
NEW - topic:If admitted to Michigan State, you will join a diverse community of students, faculty, staff, and alumni. Please respond...
UndergraduateAleen1024 - Oct 6, 2011 / — -
|University of Florida essay Topic about how living with my father made me independent
2 - Hi Keisey K. Ramirez, I think that talking about your trip the the Dominican Republic and how your...
Undergraduatekelseyxramirez - Oct 5, 2011 / rosemarimalu - Oct 5, 2011
|'Why I wish to leave my current university' - I am transferrring to Virginia Tech
2 - Hi, Alaysha! I think this is a really good statement, and it's very strong. I especially like the upbeat...
Undergraduatelaysha - Oct 3, 2011 / Leah_Writer - Oct 5, 2011
|Queerly Phrased - Common App essay?
3 - The subject matter of your essay is appropriate and conveys a clear message. It also would be categorized as...
UndergraduateOikakete - Oct 3, 2011 / Rechy - Oct 5, 2011
|Essay on the difficulties of being born with Craniosynostosis - Common App
Undergraduatedabestharpis - Oct 2, 2011 / kidagakash - Oct 5, 2011
|'Artistic Journey' - Common App-Topic 1-Significant Experience
2 - When I was younger, I saw amazing paintings by the masters and always thought to myself aboutremembered how absolutely...
UndergraduateHereticKeyboard - Oct 2, 2011 / EF_Susan - Oct 5, 2011
|'My family and my qualities' - application for UCF?
5 - Your welcome :) Well I would remove the stress sentence and how you think it affects people, because it's...
Undergraduatekl1nt - Oct 4, 2011 / MidnightSkies50 - Oct 5, 2011
|'art has given me awards and satisfaction' -Extracurricular Essay
5 - Yes thanks a lot Yeah there is a sort of discrepancy in the transition between the anecdote and the...
UndergraduateDarthMaul - Oct 4, 2011 / DarthMaul - Oct 5, 2011
|Students: The Real Problem with American Schools - Common App - Not Personal Enough?
2 - In my opinion,I am not trying to be mean, it is not personal at all. First. you never answeared...
Undergraduatechococheesey - Oct 4, 2011 / nikolnikonchuk - Oct 4, 2011
|'My experience in moving to Israel' - Common App
Undergraduateestherfm - Sep 22, 2011 / estherfm - Oct 4, 2011
|Questbridge Essay: A Concept Learned
Undergraduaterifatmursalin - Sep 25, 2011 / nikolnikonchuk - Oct 4, 2011
|(Photography)- Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
2 - "One, two, three!",was the phrase that was most spoken words in the Robinson Photo Club in which I foundjoinin...
Undergraduatetjxodbs - Oct 4, 2011 / Denice - Oct 4, 2011
|A new chapter in my life and a new beginning to my future - attending at AII-SD (Art)
NEW - The application's essay for the Art Institute is "How do you expect your education at The Art Institute to...
Undergraduateadriana89 - Oct 4, 2011 / — -
|'Synthesis of Pyrrole Nucleosides as Anti-cancer agents' Summer Chemistry Internship
Undergraduatebryanaberger - Oct 1, 2011 / ershad193 - Oct 4, 2011
|'A year in America' - Foreign Exchange Experience in USA - CommonApp
2 - Half of the students were Caucasian, half were African American, and no doubt I was the only Thai present....
Undergraduatenanwasu - Oct 2, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|"Life has been without affluence, but not without wealth" - Personal information
Undergraduatejonnnnnnn - Oct 1, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|'Since discovering physical therapy' - Personal Statement
Undergraduatecheepiling - Oct 1, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|'Fear once chained me.' - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Undergraduatehixtine - Sep 30, 2011 / ershad193 - Oct 4, 2011
|'from arrogant skeptic into humbled believer' event, experience or accomplishment- UF
UndergraduateAlexper1221 - Sep 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Oct 4, 2011
|'Merrill and mission work' - some who has impacted you. how and why?
2 - "Lord, lead me to not just to only bring impact into your afflicted children, but also, show me...
Undergraduatetobijoy - Sep 30, 2011 / Denice - Oct 4, 2011
|'Going to dance class every Saturday' - Common App - Topic of Choice
6 - Beautiful! I have a couple suggestions... Abhorrence feels a little strong for a four year old, maybe use a...
Undergraduatetrishhha - Sep 15, 2011 / audreyaustin - Oct 3, 2011
|'did not wish to live what was not life' - Personal Narrative
NEW - Assignment: "I'd like yu to begin your paper by taking one of Thoreau's aphorisms and apply it to your...
Undergraduatemelissajoy - Oct 3, 2011 / — -
|FSU - Leadership to the Extreme
2 - I think you'd be better suited if you wrote about a specific instance and how your passion for leadership...
Undergraduatecstantzyk - Oct 3, 2011 / fglop - Oct 3, 2011
|I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay
6 - thanks ^^...
UndergraduateSophya - Sep 27, 2011 / Sophya - Oct 3, 2011
|I love school spirit, but that's not why I'm going to college - why apply to UCF?
3 - Thanks so much for the advice! I decided to just scrap it and rewrite my essays over again, your...
UndergraduateMidnightSkies50 - Sep 8, 2011 / MidnightSkies50 - Oct 3, 2011
|NYU SCPS - Kick in the Teeth
4 - John, what a powerful essay! It's concise, to the point, and meaningful. Also John, on my essay you said...
Undergraduatejbow808 - Sep 28, 2011 / gstransfer - Oct 3, 2011
|'the core curriculum' - Columbia University G.S. NON traditional essay
Undergraduategstransfer - Sep 27, 2011 / gstransfer - Oct 3, 2011
|My mother is my greatest influence - Your Life and Why Essay
UndergraduateKrystalMauri - Oct 2, 2011 / parinaz - Oct 2, 2011
|'Moving to the United States' - GEORGIA TECH
4 - i think you have a good focused idea, but could edit some of the sentences to flow better such...
Undergraduatepouriah - Sep 16, 2011 / crackhamster - Oct 2, 2011
|'My community service' - Rutgers Essay 2011?
NEW - Prompt: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would...
Undergraduatexoodaniii - Oct 2, 2011 / — -
|Student - connection to humanity
5 - this is really good! I really enjoyed reading it ... I think it's just a bit confusing at the...
Undergraduateohayohsiao - Sep 25, 2011 / madilla - Oct 2, 2011
|"Amanda! Put that thing in the trash." - Common App - (Art and Science)
2 - Fantastic! Incredible! Perfect! Don't change a thing! PLEASE HELP ME WITH MINE. I need a brilliant person like you...
UndergraduateWaoshi - Oct 1, 2011 / danielladelucia - Oct 2, 2011
|"All I know is that I wanted to get closer and closer to films." - Common App #4
2 - My first step involved being glued to the movie theater; secondly, I began to note the directors; and thirdly,...
Undergraduatedarthpotato94 - Sep 30, 2011 / danielladelucia - Oct 2, 2011
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