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|(Photography)- Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities
2 - "One, two, three!",was the phrase that was most spoken words in the Robinson Photo Club in which I foundjoinin...
Undergraduatetjxodbs - Oct 4, 2011 / Denice - Oct 4, 2011
|A new chapter in my life and a new beginning to my future - attending at AII-SD (Art)
NEW - The application's essay for the Art Institute is "How do you expect your education at The Art Institute to...
Undergraduateadriana89 - Oct 4, 2011 / — -
|'Synthesis of Pyrrole Nucleosides as Anti-cancer agents' Summer Chemistry Internship
Undergraduatebryanaberger - Oct 1, 2011 / ershad193 - Oct 4, 2011
|'A year in America' - Foreign Exchange Experience in USA - CommonApp
2 - Half of the students were Caucasian, half were African American, and no doubt I was the only Thai present....
Undergraduatenanwasu - Oct 2, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|"Life has been without affluence, but not without wealth" - Personal information
Undergraduatejonnnnnnn - Oct 1, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|'Since discovering physical therapy' - Personal Statement
Undergraduatecheepiling - Oct 1, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 4, 2011
|'Fear once chained me.' - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Undergraduatehixtine - Sep 30, 2011 / ershad193 - Oct 4, 2011
|'from arrogant skeptic into humbled believer' event, experience or accomplishment- UF
UndergraduateAlexper1221 - Sep 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Oct 4, 2011
|'Merrill and mission work' - some who has impacted you. how and why?
2 - "Lord, lead me to not just to only bring impact into your afflicted children, but also, show me...
Undergraduatetobijoy - Sep 30, 2011 / Denice - Oct 4, 2011
|'Going to dance class every Saturday' - Common App - Topic of Choice
6 - Beautiful! I have a couple suggestions... Abhorrence feels a little strong for a four year old, maybe use a...
Undergraduatetrishhha - Sep 15, 2011 / audreyaustin - Oct 3, 2011
|'did not wish to live what was not life' - Personal Narrative
NEW - Assignment: "I'd like yu to begin your paper by taking one of Thoreau's aphorisms and apply it to your...
Undergraduatemelissajoy - Oct 3, 2011 / — -
|FSU - Leadership to the Extreme
2 - I think you'd be better suited if you wrote about a specific instance and how your passion for leadership...
Undergraduatecstantzyk - Oct 3, 2011 / fglop - Oct 3, 2011
|I Am Traditional-Commonapp Essay
6 - thanks ^^...
UndergraduateSophya - Sep 27, 2011 / Sophya - Oct 3, 2011
|I love school spirit, but that's not why I'm going to college - why apply to UCF?
3 - Thanks so much for the advice! I decided to just scrap it and rewrite my essays over again, your...
UndergraduateMidnightSkies50 - Sep 8, 2011 / MidnightSkies50 - Oct 3, 2011
|NYU SCPS - Kick in the Teeth
4 - John, what a powerful essay! It's concise, to the point, and meaningful. Also John, on my essay you said...
Undergraduatejbow808 - Sep 28, 2011 / gstransfer - Oct 3, 2011
|'the core curriculum' - Columbia University G.S. NON traditional essay
Undergraduategstransfer - Sep 27, 2011 / gstransfer - Oct 3, 2011
|My mother is my greatest influence - Your Life and Why Essay
UndergraduateKrystalMauri - Oct 2, 2011 / parinaz - Oct 2, 2011
|'Moving to the United States' - GEORGIA TECH
4 - i think you have a good focused idea, but could edit some of the sentences to flow better such...
Undergraduatepouriah - Sep 16, 2011 / crackhamster - Oct 2, 2011
|'My community service' - Rutgers Essay 2011?
NEW - Prompt: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would...
Undergraduatexoodaniii - Oct 2, 2011 / — -
|Student - connection to humanity
5 - this is really good! I really enjoyed reading it ... I think it's just a bit confusing at the...
Undergraduateohayohsiao - Sep 25, 2011 / madilla - Oct 2, 2011
|"Amanda! Put that thing in the trash." - Common App - (Art and Science)
2 - Fantastic! Incredible! Perfect! Don't change a thing! PLEASE HELP ME WITH MINE. I need a brilliant person like you...
UndergraduateWaoshi - Oct 1, 2011 / danielladelucia - Oct 2, 2011
|"All I know is that I wanted to get closer and closer to films." - Common App #4
2 - My first step involved being glued to the movie theater; secondly, I began to note the directors; and thirdly,...
Undergraduatedarthpotato94 - Sep 30, 2011 / danielladelucia - Oct 2, 2011
|'broken bones'/ 'high standards UCF bump in the road + unique characteristics topics
2 - Your first essay is very touching. My only criticism is that at the end, maybe you could add on...
Undergraduatejessiehall - Sep 29, 2011 / danielladelucia - Oct 2, 2011
|"A Gift That Keeps Giving" - Common App Personal Essay
Undergraduatekevin12345 - Oct 2, 2011 / — -
|the "journey to be oneself" seems the riskiest of all journeys - LMU Supplement
2 - 1. Fr. Lawton's 2. But, the "journey to be oneself" is risky during these times growing up in...
UndergraduateThe Jacka - Sep 30, 2011 / kevin12345 - Oct 2, 2011
|'marvels of the universe' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatestatt8900 - Oct 1, 2011 / dyj921 - Oct 2, 2011
|'how to be alone without feeling lonely' - Evaluate a significant achievement, risk
2 - What an unique topic to write about! Great flow, particularly the third paragraph. However, I do believe you are...
Undergraduateirenesue - Sep 30, 2011 / dyj921 - Oct 2, 2011
|'Boom! Boom! The most out of education' - quest bridge essay
3 - Also, the into may make the reader uneasy as it could easily be mistaken for a reference to suicide....
Undergraduateemekaobi - Sep 30, 2011 / jonnnnnnn - Oct 1, 2011
|'"Beep, beep" - (Apply Texas) Mr.Bishop- someone who has impacted my life.
Undergraduatekimboit23 - Sep 29, 2011 / cherylfaux - Oct 1, 2011
|"Family Influence" and "'Bump' in the Road" Essay - UCF Admission
UndergraduateNyebo - Sep 26, 2011 / cherylfaux - Oct 1, 2011
|'worked in a real estate investment trust' - Professional Achievement - 200 word
UndergraduateNoob in writing - Sep 29, 2011 / Noob in writing - Oct 1, 2011
|'No problem refusing drugs' (significant experience) Common App
Undergraduatehcdaniel93 - Sep 29, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 1, 2011
|'children's stories' - Describe an experience that you've had or a concept you ...
6 - What?...
Undergraduateirenesue - Sep 29, 2011 / irenesue - Oct 1, 2011
|'I am at my happiest' - Common App about how hiking changed my life
Undergraduatechello - Oct 1, 2011 / hixtine - Oct 1, 2011
|"the comparative advantage model" - time you found something you weren't looking for.
UndergraduatePaul Jo - Sep 23, 2011 / noboundaries - Oct 1, 2011
|"finance and technology" - Where do you see yourself three years after ISB?
Undergraduategetshivam - Sep 10, 2011 / getshivam - Oct 1, 2011
|'I want to study Psychology because...' - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
NEW - Planning to Major in Psychology I come from a large city called Naperville. Likewise, I come from a...
Undergraduatehixtine - Sep 30, 2011 / — -
|'the future physicians of America program' - Common app
2 - I think that the "future physicians of America" in the first sentence needs to be capitalized. Some of the...
Undergraduatethesnowball - Sep 30, 2011 / hixtine - Sep 30, 2011
|'permanent disabilities' - Describe the world you come from...
Undergraduategera229 - Sep 28, 2011 / gera229 - Sep 30, 2011
|Questbridge Autobiographical Essay -"We don't speak at the dinner table."
3 - As Susan said, well-written and powerful! Great diction and vocabulary, great imagery. I can't find the resolution in...
Undergraduateantiquity - Sep 28, 2011 / irenesue - Sep 30, 2011
|'I have visited Iran multiple times' - GEORGIA TECH APPLICATION
Undergraduatepouriah - Sep 28, 2011 / Asmita_ - Sep 29, 2011
|'the National Honor Society' -FSU application (leadership, learning, service, global)
3 - Thanks for critiquing my two essays! Personally, I think you described your inspiration and actions too much. You...
Undergraduatedanielladelucia - Sep 27, 2011 / Riceboy - Sep 29, 2011
|"Challenge of a Clown" - Rutgers Undergraduate Essay
Undergraduatejunpark7667 - Sep 29, 2011 / junpark7667 - Sep 29, 2011
|Questionbridge Essays #1 and #2: "Insignificance Breeds Success" & "Americanization"
2 - Amazing! Fantastic! You will be accepted no doubt! I liked the space essay the best, until I finished the...
UndergraduateRiceboy - Sep 28, 2011 / danielladelucia - Sep 29, 2011
|'without my step-father...' - Someone who has made an impact in your life
Undergraduatejustino2012 - Sep 29, 2011 / danielladelucia - Sep 29, 2011
|'Raised in Hamilton, New Jersey' - Rutgers Undergrad Essay-Diversity
2 - Just one quick comment. You can merge the last paragraph into the passage, and you will be showing rather...
Undergraduatejaswin24 - Sep 29, 2011 / Noob in writing - Sep 29, 2011
|'TelePortal' - If you could invent something - GaTech Essay
2 - Cute essay. This doesn't make sense..."invention in creation". And don't say "right wing anti environmentalist". What if your admissions...
Undergraduateedzhu1 - Sep 29, 2011 / danielladelucia - Sep 29, 2011
|What most influenced you to apply to The GWU - how not to give my life story?
3 - I had a similar problem with an essay I was writing for UVA because I wanted to incorporate the...
Undergraduatejosomo - Sep 28, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 29, 2011
|Any ideas on the u of m business school essay? Ross School of business
5 - All night camps for children with skin diseases that can't go into the sun. Advertisements telling people how bad...
Undergraduatehyun9645 - Oct 25, 2009 / danielladelucia - Sep 29, 2011
|USF supplement ESSay ("to promote learning in the Jesuit Catholic tradition
6 - Probably, how will you contribute to the learning environment. not necesarrily religious, but it might help...
Undergraduatelady_b - Jan 12, 2009 / hcdaniel93 - Sep 29, 2011
|"work hard, my son" - QuestBridge Bio Essay
UndergraduateAtelophobia - Sep 28, 2011 / Atelophobia - Sep 29, 2011
|"Visualizing Perfection" - Questbridge Biographical Essay
6 - I would chose either one of the two at the end, and remove "superior" or use a different word....
UndergraduateSwindle - Sep 28, 2011 / Riceboy - Sep 29, 2011
|Cross Country Trip ('a career in business') - Common App Transfer
3 - Thank you very much, your help is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately I do not know Ian, although its very possible...
Undergraduatemcq776 - Sep 28, 2011 / mcq776 - Sep 29, 2011
|Questbridge essay, "Gerardo's Fifth"
2 - The first elongated note escapes from the strings of the violins, violas, and cellos, filling the hall with a...
Undergraduategeracam10 - Sep 28, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 29, 2011
|'learning from those mistake' - FSU
2 - I can still vividly remember resting my forehead on the back of the toilet seat, small shreds of tobacco...
Undergraduatetc634 - Sep 27, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 29, 2011
|'Elder care' - Elaborate One of Your Extracurricular Activity
4 - thank you ^^...
UndergraduateSophya - Sep 27, 2011 / Sophya - Sep 29, 2011
|'my heartbeat came back in just a few seconds' - Common App
5 - The first draft has a more capturing opening. Good demonstration of how the experience at the ER and PSVT...
Undergraduatecluemegan - Sep 27, 2011 / irenesue - Sep 29, 2011
|'Science has been my passion' - Wisconsin-madison STATEMENT
3 - Hey susan, thank you so much!i really appreciate the help.but i want some opinion also on if you...
Undergraduatevadalis - Sep 27, 2011 / vadalis - Sep 29, 2011
|Stage for me - common app essay
4 - Thank you for the suggestions & corrections guys! A non-native English speaker, I'm a little worried about my...
UndergraduatePaul Jo - Sep 22, 2011 / Paul Jo - Sep 29, 2011
|'teacher actually knew the students' names' - Why did you apply to UCF?
3 - i think you should add sth about the major or sth more academic to your essay. It will convince...
UndergraduateHunter - Sep 27, 2011 / richard35568 - Sep 29, 2011
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