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|'Death happens, but life will go on' - more about me and the context of my life
2 - A day before our school, graduation I learned of Fred's death. Fred Our class had only two days...
UndergraduateEricaKB24 - Sep 27, 2011 / lbedro - Sep 27, 2011
|'Being adopted I have learned...' - the world I came from
2 - My adoptive parents were a couple from California who already had four kids, two of whom were also adopted....
Undergraduatemalia12392 - Sep 25, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2011
|"Silence; the stereotypical image of an Asian" - experience, risk
Undergraduatebananas11 - Sep 25, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2011
|'bring me the EKG machine' - one of your activities
2 - I have learned so much by volunteering at the Murphy Medical Center. During the summer of 11th grade,...
Undergraduatendrwum - Sep 25, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2011
|"women are not inferior" - India issue of importance to you... UT Austin
Undergraduatezainebaby - Sep 23, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 27, 2011
|'the Head-boy of the school' - extra curricular activities
NEW - Since my childhood I have always being looking forward to attending school regularly. My desire to gain knowledge was...
Undergraduatesohaibsiddiqui - Sep 27, 2011 / — -
|"My motivation of not giving up" - UC Personal Statement Prompt#2
3 - Thank you for reminding me the grammatical errors I only used an hour to write this, so there might...
Undergraduatetaxidriverhk - Sep 26, 2011 / taxidriverhk - Sep 27, 2011
|'I started quizzing' - This is my extracurricular statement
3 - The story is good, but I think more details will surely help. Tell about your feelings when you fell...
Undergraduatehcdaniel93 - Sep 26, 2011 / Sophya - Sep 27, 2011
|'My childhood littered with such incidences' - influential person (my brothers)
2 - I loved it! Reminds me of my family. (On a personal note: Believe it or not, you're lucky your...
Undergraduateohayohsiao - Sep 25, 2011 / Sara_sheppard - Sep 27, 2011
|'competitions in Informatics and Physics' - i am applying to TSU from india
2 - My father was a colonel in the Indian army, and as his son, I have had the unique opportunity...
Undergraduatephoenix1991 - Sep 25, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 26, 2011
|Bad at Math - CommonApp Work in Progress
Undergraduatelindz7185 - Aug 1, 2011 / hixtine - Sep 26, 2011
|'influenced by my two elder sisters (teacher / school worker)' - FSU
NEW - The essay is an important part of your application. It assists the University in learning about you as an...
Undergraduatepaigemeyers - Sep 26, 2011 / — -
|'a Japanese speaking class' - Elaborate on one extracurricular activity
UndergraduatePaul Jo - Sep 25, 2011 / Editor1010 - Sep 26, 2011
|'a country with a positive society' - Just a start- FSU essay
2 - I realized after the video that leadership is more than being the President I feel as though you should...
Undergraduatenhstudent - Sep 26, 2011 / Editor1010 - Sep 26, 2011
|Math - the subjects with which you had difficulty
2 - Good essay, though it contains many grammatical errors. Have a look at them. Mas - Math Being...
Undergraduatenoboundaries - Sep 26, 2011 / Paul Jo - Sep 26, 2011
|"unfortunate situations are my favorite..." UVA essay
Undergraduatetrishhha - Sep 22, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 26, 2011
|"got me wishing I'm a Yalie" - Why Yale?=Short answer
UndergraduateRechy - Aug 30, 2011 / Rechy - Sep 26, 2011
|'the most demanding engineering courses' - Purdue Admission
Undergraduatecolossus2012 - Sep 26, 2011 / — -
|"Moving cities was simple. Starting a new life was difficult." - Admissions
Undergraduateabrodrick - Sep 23, 2011 / abrodrick - Sep 26, 2011
|'Student Representative' - Common app activities
2 - Awsome start! May i suggest that you add a stronger conclusion to explain how this experience has broadened your...
UndergraduateCostanzojm - Sep 25, 2011 / doodler - Sep 25, 2011
|Questions about how to write my Personal Statement for college.
2 - Personal statement is where you show who you are as a person. Don't mention grades, test scores, etc. Mention...
Undergraduategjm - Sep 25, 2011 / rifatmursalin - Sep 25, 2011
|"Rise Above Your Skill" - Questbridge - Nat'l College Match (Biographical Essay)
4 - As a fellow Natl. College Match Applicant, I commend you on your essay. You are an amazing writer. The...
Undergraduatejborjas31 - Sep 23, 2011 / rifatmursalin - Sep 25, 2011
|Intellectual Adventure with Block Plan - Colorado College supplemental essay
Undergraduateestherfm - Sep 23, 2011 / estherfm - Sep 25, 2011
|Michigan Supplement: "A community you are a part of" Essay
2 - I think this is fantastic! I would change the period after life lessons to a comma, though, and just...
Undergraduateakd_rocks - Sep 25, 2011 / lindz7185 - Sep 25, 2011
|"Matrix of inspiration and dream "- Why UChicago?
5 - Thank you so much for your suggestions! I really think I should mention something unique about UChicago, and...
UndergraduatePaul Jo - Sep 24, 2011 / Paul Jo - Sep 25, 2011
|Breaking my "Shell"- Common App Essay
UndergraduateWBStudent - Sep 21, 2011 / WBStudent - Sep 24, 2011
|'Girl Scout meetings' - Extracurricular Activity Essay - Common AP (Girl Scouts)
Undergraduatereidabook - Sep 24, 2011 / DMA17 - Sep 24, 2011
|'My Emoh' - Influential person in my life
2 - It was at the hospital that I discovered I had scoliosis that was potentially severe if not corrected soon....
Undergraduatecatscraddle - Sep 24, 2011 / jayelectrolosis - Sep 24, 2011
|Hiking and how it has effected me - Common App Short Answer
3 - New version Summer before senior year I started getting into hiking. Ever since the first time, I have...
UndergraduateShamefulAunt - Sep 24, 2011 / ShamefulAunt - Sep 24, 2011
|'Boys Nation Senator' - USAFA Application essay
3 - thanks for your feed back. I dont think Boys Nation needs an explanation though. It is a very...
Undergraduatealexsisco714 - Sep 24, 2011 / alexsisco714 - Sep 24, 2011
|The Malaria Test: Essay for Research Fellowship Position in Development
2 - They had arrived at Lusuntha clinic on the eastern border of Zambia earlier that morning; the child was spending...
Undergraduatekeatingr - Sep 22, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 24, 2011
|"An Inspiring Ninja" - Influential historical figure - Common app #4
NEW - "Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that...
Undergraduatennpurnama - Sep 24, 2011 / — -
|"The political free thinkers community" - University of Michigan Supplement
Undergraduatesingher39 - Sep 21, 2011 / singher39 - Sep 23, 2011
|"I can be myself, learn a lot, experience new surroundings" - Morgan State
NEW - The Assignment: Write a 500 word essay describing how you would contribute to the Morgan State University legacy. Classy...
Undergraduaterayganwebster94 - Sep 23, 2011 / — -
|"Winter Guard" Extracurricular Activities and a Risk I've Taken Common App
4 - Just one suggestion. When you start saying" and although I couldn't.." I would make that a separate paragraph by...
Undergraduatecclu3312 - Sep 22, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 23, 2011
|'club involvement' - Model United Nations essay on the common-app
Undergraduatematthewcq2 - Sep 22, 2011 / matthewcq2 - Sep 23, 2011
|father's mental illness (influential person)
5 - Hi epooqeo1, I agree with EF_Kevin that you should change the focus of your essay and stress how...
Undergraduateepooqeo1 - Aug 26, 2011 / xxqqsmeee - Sep 23, 2011
|'the block program, the mountains' - How did you learn about Colorado College and why
2 - Congrats, the essay seems to answer the prompt, and the personal voice is clearly distinguishable. I hope that this...
Undergraduateestherfm - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|'Myriad qualities and characteristics' - bump in the road
Undergraduateamandaplease - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|"The Bee Effect" - Cornell supplement for ALS
2 - First off, I'd like to say that it is an impressive essay, it flows very nicely and accentuates your...
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|To write about detasseling, a summer job - Can you help me get started?
Undergraduatekatmandu0071 - Sep 22, 2011 / cclu3312 - Sep 22, 2011
|Male-role models - obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life
5 - Thanks for you input everybody, didn't realize I was being so possessive of my mother apparently, but once again,...
Undergraduatelardolava - Sep 21, 2011 / lardolava - Sep 22, 2011
|"Not only culture" - What diversity will you bring to the University?
2 - you could actually tie in your diversity with these activities by saying how you brought cultural diversity to your...
Undergraduatefhss2121 - Sep 22, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 22, 2011
|"if I am not going to a university to learn..." - College Entrance
2 - I am applying to Florida State University because I want to learn and also to challenge myself. Throughout...
UndergraduatexSpectro - Sep 22, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 22, 2011
|"successful creative producer" - Common App For Usc
3 - During the years I attended El Camino College, I have been exploring in my aspiration in cinema by engaging...
Undergraduate08woodsh - Sep 22, 2011 / NeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011
|From Decay to Rebirth - contribution and how does it relate to the person you are?
3 - Thanks for the feedback! Did I use give too much background information on all of my activities and...
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Sep 21, 2011 / NeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011
|'a first generation Chinese immigrant' - Rutger's Diversity Essay
2 - I am well aware that Rutgers contains a community of people who share the same cultural background, but my...
Undergraduatejasonwenji - Sep 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 22, 2011
|'always wanted to be a doctor' -How did you learn about NJIT and why are you applying
2 - maybe u should avoid using abbreviations for other schools like ''UDMNJ'' ? I can pretend i don't know what...
Undergraduatetocollegeigo - Sep 21, 2011 / chigirl - Sep 22, 2011
|Korea: Essay about a significant expeirence: Naksangmae
NEW - Naksangmae "In Korea, there's a hawk called 'Naksangmae'. Direct English translation would be 'fallen and injured hawk'. It has...
Undergraduateleonardjo - Sep 22, 2011 / — -
|Writing about my learning disability - Is it a good direction for personal statement?
3 - hi.I just registered ,I m really bad at writing especially an essay.please help me to improve my writing skills.I...
Undergraduatesly_2314 - Sep 21, 2011 / zulaa - Sep 21, 2011
|'the first generation of immigrants from Russia' - College App Virginia Tech
2 - When we first arrived here eight years ago, both of us spoke noneither of us spoke any English. ...
UndergraduateReeny - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|'my younger sister' - Common App. - Influential Person
2 - ...mature years in high school, my sister has always been the one to help me through everything. I've...
Undergraduatensullivan - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|The political and ethic father of the United States-Why George Washington University?
2 - The most important factor in me applying to the George Washington University is limited to two persons who are...
Undergraduatepeiman - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|'You could not choose the family you were born into' - Writing Sample" 250+ words
5 - i am pretty impressed by what you have written. add a nice generalizing statement at the end of the...
Undergraduatealexiellen - Sep 16, 2011 / tanvik - Sep 21, 2011
|"God motivates me to change" - who motivates me
Undergraduateshera - Sep 16, 2011 / shera - Sep 21, 2011
|"Cosiness" - Why Yale
8 - "Cosiness. The state of warm confort between the students, the professors and the roommates is the most important factor...
Undergraduatecristtgn - Sep 15, 2011 / kate47 - Sep 20, 2011
|And the Next Idol Is... (Common App short answer)
4 - I really liked the essay, it really compels you to read on until the end. However, I don't think...
Undergraduatekevin12345 - Sep 18, 2011 / Reeny - Sep 20, 2011
|'Positive work ethic' qualites and characteristics that contribute to UCF community?
2 - I am in the Health Academy, currently enrolled in an organization called Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA). ...
Undergraduatebbrian531 - Sep 20, 2011 / l_borras - Sep 20, 2011
|'We Are Rumor Crashers' - Common Application--Belong to Difference community
3 - Thank you very much! p.s The rumor casher is more or less like a Chinese version myth busters, but...
Undergraduatedarkeyedduke - Sep 19, 2011 / darkeyedduke - Sep 20, 2011
|'GO on my phone screen' - URichmond: leaving my comfort zone
Undergraduatereichmelodi - Sep 5, 2011 / reichmelodi - Sep 20, 2011
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