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|'the block program, the mountains' - How did you learn about Colorado College and why
2 - Congrats, the essay seems to answer the prompt, and the personal voice is clearly distinguishable. I hope that this...
Undergraduateestherfm - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|'Myriad qualities and characteristics' - bump in the road
Undergraduateamandaplease - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|"The Bee Effect" - Cornell supplement for ALS
2 - First off, I'd like to say that it is an impressive essay, it flows very nicely and accentuates your...
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011 / ibsurd2012 - Sep 23, 2011
|To write about detasseling, a summer job - Can you help me get started?
Undergraduatekatmandu0071 - Sep 22, 2011 / cclu3312 - Sep 22, 2011
|Male-role models - obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life
5 - Thanks for you input everybody, didn't realize I was being so possessive of my mother apparently, but once again,...
Undergraduatelardolava - Sep 21, 2011 / lardolava - Sep 22, 2011
|"Not only culture" - What diversity will you bring to the University?
2 - you could actually tie in your diversity with these activities by saying how you brought cultural diversity to your...
Undergraduatefhss2121 - Sep 22, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 22, 2011
|"if I am not going to a university to learn..." - College Entrance
2 - I am applying to Florida State University because I want to learn and also to challenge myself. Throughout...
UndergraduatexSpectro - Sep 22, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 22, 2011
|"successful creative producer" - Common App For Usc
3 - During the years I attended El Camino College, I have been exploring in my aspiration in cinema by engaging...
Undergraduate08woodsh - Sep 22, 2011 / NeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011
|From Decay to Rebirth - contribution and how does it relate to the person you are?
3 - Thanks for the feedback! Did I use give too much background information on all of my activities and...
UndergraduateNeonGhost - Sep 21, 2011 / NeonGhost - Sep 22, 2011
|'a first generation Chinese immigrant' - Rutger's Diversity Essay
2 - I am well aware that Rutgers contains a community of people who share the same cultural background, but my...
Undergraduatejasonwenji - Sep 21, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 22, 2011
|'always wanted to be a doctor' -How did you learn about NJIT and why are you applying
2 - maybe u should avoid using abbreviations for other schools like ''UDMNJ'' ? I can pretend i don't know what...
Undergraduatetocollegeigo - Sep 21, 2011 / chigirl - Sep 22, 2011
|Korea: Essay about a significant expeirence: Naksangmae
NEW - Naksangmae "In Korea, there's a hawk called 'Naksangmae'. Direct English translation would be 'fallen and injured hawk'. It has...
Undergraduateleonardjo - Sep 22, 2011 / — -
|Writing about my learning disability - Is it a good direction for personal statement?
3 - hi.I just registered ,I m really bad at writing especially an essay.please help me to improve my writing skills.I...
Undergraduatesly_2314 - Sep 21, 2011 / zulaa - Sep 21, 2011
|'the first generation of immigrants from Russia' - College App Virginia Tech
2 - When we first arrived here eight years ago, both of us spoke noneither of us spoke any English. ...
UndergraduateReeny - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|'my younger sister' - Common App. - Influential Person
2 - ...mature years in high school, my sister has always been the one to help me through everything. I've...
Undergraduatensullivan - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|The political and ethic father of the United States-Why George Washington University?
2 - The most important factor in me applying to the George Washington University is limited to two persons who are...
Undergraduatepeiman - Sep 20, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 21, 2011
|'You could not choose the family you were born into' - Writing Sample" 250+ words
5 - i am pretty impressed by what you have written. add a nice generalizing statement at the end of the...
Undergraduatealexiellen - Sep 16, 2011 / tanvik - Sep 21, 2011
|"God motivates me to change" - who motivates me
Undergraduateshera - Sep 16, 2011 / shera - Sep 21, 2011
|"Cosiness" - Why Yale
8 - "Cosiness. The state of warm confort between the students, the professors and the roommates is the most important factor...
Undergraduatecristtgn - Sep 15, 2011 / kate47 - Sep 20, 2011
|And the Next Idol Is... (Common App short answer)
4 - I really liked the essay, it really compels you to read on until the end. However, I don't think...
Undergraduatekevin12345 - Sep 18, 2011 / Reeny - Sep 20, 2011
|'Positive work ethic' qualites and characteristics that contribute to UCF community?
2 - I am in the Health Academy, currently enrolled in an organization called Health Occupation Students of America (HOSA). ...
Undergraduatebbrian531 - Sep 20, 2011 / l_borras - Sep 20, 2011
|'We Are Rumor Crashers' - Common Application--Belong to Difference community
3 - Thank you very much! p.s The rumor casher is more or less like a Chinese version myth busters, but...
Undergraduatedarkeyedduke - Sep 19, 2011 / darkeyedduke - Sep 20, 2011
|'GO on my phone screen' - URichmond: leaving my comfort zone
Undergraduatereichmelodi - Sep 5, 2011 / reichmelodi - Sep 20, 2011
|My Ah Hah Moment ('forward into a career as a Nurse')
2 - wow this was a really well written essay. I don't think I can add anything at this point because...
Undergraduateluckyducky - Sep 19, 2011 / thimmaiah - Sep 19, 2011
|'my homeland, Korea,' the world you come from, your family, community or school
Undergraduatejungks0314 - Sep 14, 2011 / jungks0314 - Sep 19, 2011
|Life is short. Why spend seven years at a university? -Howard University Admission
Undergraduatedeebest - Sep 18, 2011 / deebest - Sep 19, 2011
|'my goals of helping not only my country' - Rutgers Admission (Transfer Student)
NEW - Hi, I'm applying for Rutgers Newark for the Spring 2012 semester and in the last part of the application...
Undergraduatealfmeno - Sep 19, 2011 / — -
|'a business-minded family' - entry into Ryerson University : Hospitality Management
NEW - I'm mainly concerned if it is repetitive and verbose and worried that my vocabulary is not advanced enough. I'm...
UndergraduateJussyms - Sep 19, 2011 / — -
|Issue of Importance Essay (perception of college degree); UT Prompt B
2 - However, in today's fast-paced, get-rich society, the goal of education has been replaced by a far more selfish motto:...
Undergraduatecanding93 - Sep 18, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 19, 2011
|'My experience with forensics' - Common App
2 - I enjoyed reading your essay. Its very good, just little tweaking here and there might help (read it a...
UndergraduateJessEllen - Sep 18, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Sep 19, 2011
|Music: My Greatest Teacher (CommonApp Essay- Topic of your choice)
NEW - Prompt: Topic of your choice. Many students would say that the greatest teacher in their lives has been...
Undergraduatewhocares3725 - Sep 18, 2011 / — -
|Colors of my Community: How it has shaped me (UC Prompt #1)
Undergraduateplusminuszero - Sep 18, 2011 / capocrypha - Sep 18, 2011
|'Born to perform' - UMBC 300 word essay: what is your something?
2 - Home is where the heart is and my heart forever belongs to the limelight. I have a deep passion...
UndergraduateUMDbound - Sep 18, 2011 / capocrypha - Sep 18, 2011
|' Assimilating Depression' ;mom's hospitalization- Common App Personal statement
2 - I would rewrite the first sentence as: A few years ago, I overheard my father pressing the psychiatrist...
UndergraduateArgonautAdmetus - Sep 18, 2011 / uoqzr - Sep 18, 2011
|"I walked a distance of about 150 miles" - Common App - A Personal Experience
3 - Could you explain why others would not have an apostrophe? And, thank you SO much for reading and...
Undergraduatestvitus - Sep 17, 2011 / stvitus - Sep 18, 2011
|(fear of death) Common App - Evaluate a significant experience
2 - It wasn't long,however, because after all, death is inevitable "But it is its exact unquestionable inevitability (mankind's...
Undergraduatefudgebrownie - Sep 18, 2011 / JessEllen - Sep 18, 2011
|"a place in the Indian community" - Extracurricular Activities/Work Experience
Undergraduatetrishhha - Aug 25, 2011 / trishhha - Sep 18, 2011
|'Korean Passion' - Unc Personal: What's your latest discovery?
3 - Thanks!...
UndergraduateShay44 - Sep 17, 2011 / Shay44 - Sep 18, 2011
|Chamber Music - Common App Short Answer
2 - For the past seven years, playing the violin has given me the opportunity to participate in a variety of...
UndergraduateJessEllen - Sep 17, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 18, 2011
|ANNA HAZARE and The crusade
2 - Anna H azare...someone who needs no description. ---Don't forget to leave a space between your sentences!---Also, he might need...
Undergraduatekra - Sep 17, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 18, 2011
|FSU 2011 App Essay - navigating the unexpected waters of life.
3 - I really like this essay:) The first sentence is a little "unfitting", but overall the theme is great...how you...
Undergraduatemaggiemer10 - Sep 14, 2011 / danielladelucia - Sep 18, 2011
|"She was bound by IV lines..."- Quest Bridge
Undergraduatechadbinghay - Sep 18, 2011 / chadbinghay - Sep 18, 2011
|'He showed me that I should live to it's fullest' - influential figure, Common App
2 - Hey ibrahim, I like your essay. Its a traditional finding your passion, follow your dreams essay. But that's...
UndergraduateIbrahimm3 - Sep 18, 2011 / shreyam1993 - Sep 18, 2011
|'I decided to major in Exercise Physiology' - PTCAS Entry Essay
NEW - Constructive criticism more than welcome! Thanks in advance! Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to...
UndergraduateCopel1 - Sep 18, 2011 / — -
|UC#1 Descrbing the world you come from and aspiration: My new life in America
2 - I would be greatly appreciate it if anyone could help revise and leave a commentary for further correction. I...
Undergraduatedd9679 - Sep 17, 2011 / inaustin - Sep 18, 2011
|"Fly your geek flag!" one of your extracurricular activities or work experience
4 - Hey wildcat, my main quibble with your essay is this sentence: "My freshman year I was a shy, awkward...
UndergraduateWildcatSR - Sep 17, 2011 / shreyam1993 - Sep 18, 2011
|"Goodbye, uncle and aunt!" - significant risk, experience
Undergraduatepetcause - Sep 4, 2011 / petcause - Sep 17, 2011
|"the effort and hard work that my parents" - Rutgers University Essay
4 - Hello there...!! so I just finished typing the essay for Rutgers University. The maximum is 3800 and I ran...
Undergraduateavalenzuela - Sep 16, 2011 / avalenzuela - Sep 17, 2011
|Topic A for ApplyTexas - "Samuel Dugger"
2 - chriskyle711 He is a very important person to me, because he is one of my closest friends that -who...
Undergraduatechriskyle711 - Sep 17, 2011 / avalenzuela - Sep 17, 2011
|'May and exams' - 1000 character common app elaboration on Ec
Undergraduateclare11 - Sep 16, 2011 / EF_Susan - Sep 17, 2011
|'Surrounded by fashion' - fashion institute of technology entrance essay
NEW - hey! soo this is my entrance essay.. i need some help coming up with a closure for the ending....
Undergraduatebyasay66 - Sep 17, 2011 / — -
|"labeled as a "tattletale." - UC
Undergraduatekaaseythomaas - Sep 7, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Sep 17, 2011
|"My first schooling experience... in a Malawian refugee camp"
NEW - Hey everyone, I need some critique on this essay which I plan to submit as the main one for...
Undergraduatenamato - Sep 17, 2011 / — -
|My Father- A great Influence ('Learn from others' mistakes')
3 - Yes, i am applying for undergrad. Thank you so much, I have noted your points well, will work on...
Undergraduatesohaibsiddiqui - Sep 17, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Sep 17, 2011
|"The Family System"- Quest Bridge Biographical Essay
Undergraduatechadbinghay - Sep 16, 2011 / sohaibsiddiqui - Sep 17, 2011
|"Resilience and Strength"- Quest Bridge Essay
2 - We're interested in similar fields! I really like the detail. last sentence should it be their selves or themselves?...
Undergraduatechadbinghay - Sep 16, 2011 / alexiellen - Sep 16, 2011
|"Cold Stone Church" - Williams College supplementary essay
UndergraduateCedarosaurus - Sep 16, 2011 / alexiellen - Sep 16, 2011
|'learning was never something I aspired for but Physics' - FSU
2 - learning for me was never something I aspired for >>> I never had many aspirations to learn. (or something....
Undergraduatemalcom - Sep 16, 2011 / alexiellen - Sep 16, 2011
|Application Essay: About to die of embarrassment because it's so stinky...
2 - I hope you have not sent your essay because even though it is not very helpful for your application,...
Undergraduatejaemo5295 - Sep 16, 2011 / uchihakula - Sep 16, 2011
|"Growing up as an only child" - UC where you come from
5 - I have supportive and loving parents, as well as grandparents, who have always told me I could do anything...
Undergraduatekaaseythomaas - Sep 7, 2011 / muge - Sep 16, 2011
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