|Undergraduate [25,499] - page 235 of 425|
|Essay on the importance of volunteering
3 - You have a great writing style, and the only real criticism I have is that the essay does not...
Undergraduatejamileigh - May 18, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 20, 2011
|Passion of Fashion - I need an essay to be accepted at the Illinois Institute of ART
6 - Perfect! Now go back and search for that gem, that precious gem: My name is Fatoumata Diallo. I...
Undergraduatebintasagale - May 1, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 19, 2011
|How have your past experiences influenced your academic record?
2 - Hi Askal, Where to start? Start with your theme. Every time you communicate with someone about something, have...
Undergraduateselam19 - May 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 18, 2011
|Work or travel for a year between high school and university? 'wise descision'
5 - I believe the introduction is vague.Nothing hasn`t mentioned as pros and cons & the body doesn`t have deciplined structure...
Undergraduatemithsal - May 16, 2011 / yas rose - May 17, 2011
|a significant choice that you had to make (deciding my major) - U of Massachusetts
3 - Okay, I'll show how to correct the grammar, and you should practice typing each sentence several times to get...
Undergraduatefarahbachtiar - May 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 17, 2011
|Transfer Essay to Wentworth Institute of Technology
3 - It says: This essay or personal statement (250 to 500 words) is your chance to tell us what you...
Undergraduatemattrb2 - May 16, 2011 / mattrb2 - May 16, 2011
|Soccer: I put on my gloves and race to the playground to help my team - something pleasant to me
18 - Thank you EF_Kevin. Now I declare this thread officially closed. And I am thankful to the following persons:...
UndergraduateShahriar - Apr 28, 2011 / Shahriar - May 16, 2011
|"Why I feel ready to return"- A college readmission essay
11 - What?! I have never heard of a semi-colon having a secret meaning like that, ha ha... that is...
Undergraduateahwalker1985 - Apr 27, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 15, 2011
|What can you offer and accept through this program? - Asian students difficulties.
3 - Isai, where does your username come from? What does it mean? I am intrigued... Steph, in this situation,...
Undergraduatestephaniealfl - May 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 15, 2011
|(knowledge and a commitment to service; my family) - Spelman College
3 - Not only is knowledge the key to success, it is the key to breaking down barriers that may prevent...
UndergraduateKendiaMarie - May 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 14, 2011
|going to the Research Science Institute - significant experience/achievement, impact
3 - Do not write "transcended beyond," because transcend = "go beyond" This sentence is not complete. To...
Undergraduateteddynuts - May 10, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2011
|"outstanding psychology department" - UC Davis Waitlist Essay Help
3 - Yes! Great correction here. This comes from Strunk and White. Use a comma before the conjunction in a...
Undergraduateboxedwater - May 9, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 11, 2011
|Why I want to become a oncology Nurse admission
4 - I love it! That's what I had in mind... it really shows your seriousness and makes your application more...
Undergraduatedrey - May 6, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 10, 2011
|My student's essay. "Teaching is my inner desire"
Undergraduateisai - May 7, 2011 / isai - May 9, 2011
|Interest in seeking a Phd in Real Estate Marketing.
3 - That's great advice! Start by finding good articles that interest you. Do a key word search for: marketing,...
Undergraduatebggfeb - May 2, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 9, 2011
|"left military service" - Northward Bound- Common Application Transfer
3 - Thanks for your input. After those changes are made I'm sure I'll have no problems. Thanks again...
UndergraduateTertious - May 4, 2011 / Tertious - May 8, 2011
|Find X. Many perspectives and different routes -Essay topic for university of chicago
4 - This is a kind of run on sentence called a comma splice: The Unknown is everything we think about...
UndergraduateJRandle - May 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 7, 2011
|Need your help to edit and comment for my Endeavour Postgraduate Award- Australia
Undergraduatesiworo - May 5, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 7, 2011
|In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win
5 - Use "a" here: Currently, however, a huge amount of... wage and limelight issues have become key factors which...
UndergraduateReal Fog - May 4, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 6, 2011
|"a five-day long training" - The Biggest Challenge I Have Overcome
4 - The essay is looking good, but this is still not very powerful. It seems like a general, vague...
Undergraduatenatural12345 - Apr 17, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 5, 2011
|"What experiences have led you to consider medicine" - PLME ESSAY
10 - THANKS a lot @ EF_Kevin! you've given me great advice! I've sent my essay.... with my fingers crossed!...
Undergraduatescatty2610 - Dec 25, 2010 / scatty2610 - May 5, 2011
|"Koffee Klatch"-personal quality essay
Undergraduatemorganday123 - May 1, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 4, 2011
|Application Essay about how i messed up in high school (my record)
12 - Thank you for all your help everyone, I have used all your pointers and got some help from my...
Undergraduatevandergraff127 - Apr 21, 2011 / vandergraff127 - May 3, 2011
|"Without the sign of prejudice" - past criminal record issue
4 - Let's do it this way: Criminal offenses are usually portrayed as serious issues in most parts of the...
Undergraduatefish - Apr 30, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 2, 2011
|"the pleasure of teaching Qinran" -Penn reference written by my AP chem teacher
3 - Yes, for sure! Very impressive. Why do you hesitate to use it? It sounds like you really earned a...
Undergraduatetobywashere - Apr 29, 2011 / EF_Kevin - May 2, 2011
|Marching Band Leadership (past involvement/experience in marching band)
4 - thanks. i ended up getting rid of the first sentence you pointed out for the same reason and i...
Undergraduategoldenmachine12 - Apr 28, 2011 / goldenmachine12 - May 2, 2011
|"Reaching the Interplanetary Level" - Statement of purpose.
UndergraduateTshanky - Apr 28, 2011 / Tshanky - May 2, 2011
|"to help others was an expectation" - OB/GYN SPELMAN COLLEGE
Undergraduateashley0606 - Apr 27, 2011 / ashley0606 - May 1, 2011
|"it's only a matter of will to overcome our obstacles" - admissions, college apps
12 - Thanks for your suggestions! :) I already got accepted, but I will definitely use your advice for future...
Undergraduatelfdz - Apr 2, 2011 / lfdz - May 1, 2011
|Journalism: "born in an open minded family" - Education paves the way to go ahead
UndergraduateMatiullah - Apr 27, 2011 / Matiullah - Apr 30, 2011
|"My school years in Bangladesh; becoming a businessman" - Rutgers Admission Essay
3 - Great ideas, Linh! I'll give a few more: ... I was forced to closely examine my own intentions. and...
Undergraduatesakib_rc - Apr 28, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 30, 2011
|"I enlisted in the United States Air Force" - Admission personal information
3 - Let's put this in italics or quotation marks: Have you ever had a moment where you sit and ask...
Undergraduatefvillela13 - Apr 27, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 29, 2011
|"An Environmental Architect" - Motivation essay
4 - No need to capitalize graduation: My graduation project spoke of... I think by studying Human Rights I could...
Undergraduatenouraphilip - Apr 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 28, 2011
|"dreamt of becoming a nurse" - School Program Admission
Undergraduatesbeauhar - Apr 25, 2011 / sbeauhar - Apr 28, 2011
|An Honor Society Program, very controversial but light toned essay with mixed reviews
2 - Oh, no! That's terrible! I'm sorry to hear that. In this world of ours, there exist extremely...
Undergraduatemattwashere27 - Apr 25, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 28, 2011
|"The maid" - significant person common app essay
2 - Wow... alright, right here I really sat forward in my chair and took notice. I'm in the presence...
UndergraduateMichelleLu - Apr 25, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 28, 2011
|"to Open my own practice in Gainesville" - significant event
2 - Nothing is more terrifying than receiving what you think is going to be the normal call from your mom;...
UndergraduateCourtneyTy - Apr 24, 2011 / EF_Susan - Apr 26, 2011
|"a transient lifestyle" - My Cornell summer Application Statements
3 - Good ideas, here... I think the second time you use "transient" you should choose a different word. I mean,...
Undergraduaterafihoq - Apr 23, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 25, 2011
|Business field / Better Place / Improve Education - Application short response answer
5 - Career goals - Short response question answer on an application Hello, I'm applying to a program I'm really...
Undergraduatestephaniealfl - Apr 20, 2011 / stephaniealfl - Apr 25, 2011
|"Biomedical engineering was the only field I could trust" - Applying for a university
2 - Many teenagers in this time go to school and college and whenever we ask them about the reasons for...
Undergraduatelinkoopitang - Apr 23, 2011 / MichelleLu - Apr 24, 2011
|"a student from China mainland" - MY APPEAL LETTER TO undergraduates U
Undergraduatefightforworld - Apr 22, 2011 / fightforworld - Apr 24, 2011
|"The smell of chocolate" Application to The Art Institute of California - Sacramento
UndergraduateKatherineJane - Apr 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2011
|"mother's health problem and school activities" - admission letter
UndergraduateMarkD - Apr 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2011
|Internship - Family and Happiness -250 Word paragraph on "What Inspires Me?'
3 - Throughout is one word, not two. That first sentence is not helpful: There are a lot of different people...
UndergraduateNKBaseballbum18 - Apr 21, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2011
|"Interested in medicine" - Personal Statement: your reasons for applying to course
4 - Maybe you should put it in " " marks so that the reader understands that it's what you called...
UndergraduatePemer - Apr 20, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2011
|Transfer Essay to UMASS Amherst - Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you.
Undergraduatekarathomas13 - Apr 11, 2011 / mglaz1 - Apr 22, 2011
|"To stay in the community and a higher education for my dream" UC DAVIS Waitlist
6 - Oh, I see!! Yes, I want you to do that, too, so that your future employers and colleagues can...
UndergraduateChristineM - Apr 14, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 21, 2011
|About my Mother - Describe a woman you admire and who has influenced your life.
3 - Wow, great job, Ramirez! We are lucky to have your participation. :-) The person that has influenced my...
Undergraduateppacheco09 - Apr 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 21, 2011
|"Saudi Arabia" - admission in med school
Undergraduateeeman - Apr 17, 2011 / eeman - Apr 21, 2011
|"Learning From the Past" - Boston University High School Honors (Summer Term)
3 - You know, something about this essay really resonated with me and gave me a great experience. It surprised me...
Undergraduatepch340 - Apr 19, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 20, 2011
|find X- university of Chicago (perfection)
Undergraduatelol_joyce - Apr 17, 2011 / lol_joyce - Apr 20, 2011
|Personal Statement - Career Goals & How Education @ Particular Uni will Support goals
UndergraduateNicoleLL - Apr 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 19, 2011
|Economics and business BSc. (the University of Amsterdam) - motivation letter
2 - The adjectives at the beginning are kind of misplaced and they ruin the structure of the sentence. My advice...
Undergraduatecamirothe - Apr 19, 2011 / pch340 - Apr 19, 2011
|"The Small Girl" - a person in the business world that has had an influence on you
2 - ...as Johnson & Johnson, Motorola, Asea Brown Boveri, and many more.---I added a comma. Ms. Ms. Nooyi joined...
Undergraduateishakembhavi - Apr 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 19, 2011
|Appeal letter to get into NUS Law
3 - You could write a funny, self-depreciating letter. It could have dry humor and sarcasm. That is what I would...
Undergraduateswirlywebs - Apr 16, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 19, 2011
|"what doesn't kill you.." - Significant Event Honors College Admissions
2 - I never agreed with what the 'popular kids' were wearing, or approved of the offensive language. Going back...
UndergraduateVictorious2011 - Apr 18, 2011 / EF_Susan - Apr 18, 2011
|Passion for Economics in Agriculture
3 - Let's look for some errors... Growing up with a family-operated restaurant, I helped run the business while applying...
Undergraduatemonkeymaze - Apr 15, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 18, 2011
|A Matter of A Boy and His Head - Columbia Personal Essay
3 - Make this strong by presenting it as a 5 paragraph essay. 100 words per paragraph. They are going to...
Undergraduatemarvinapenguin - Apr 13, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 16, 2011
|"My Motivation; nothing truly goes as planned or how people want it" - UC Davis
2 - The best thing to do is trim away all the excess and leave only the powerful stuff: Throughout life,...
UndergraduateChunkymoo - Apr 13, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 15, 2011
|"taking a right business decision" How will you contribute to the study groups in MBA
2 - The percentage of taking likelihood of making a right good business decision in of a diversified group is...
UndergraduateSri - Apr 12, 2011 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2011
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