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|Additional Information section in Common App CHECK
2 - Ehab. don't use bullet points when writing in this section of your application. It must still be presented in...
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR USEFP SEMESTER EXCHANGE PROGRAM
2 - Afreen, the reality of your essay is that it is severely under developed in terms of responding to the...
UndergraduateAynna - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|College Essay, Topic A, help edit, is due by Nov., Edit anything: Vocab, Grammar, Puncuation
3 - Hi Victoria Plata, Your writing is good, but in order to make it better, here some suggestions for...
Undergraduatepeanutgirl - Oct 16, 2016 / dils - Nov 14, 2016
|My mom is always there for me. The Person Who Changed My Life.
2 - Hannah, hats off to you for choosing your mom for the center of this essay. She sounds like a...
Undergraduatejc4 - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|UC Prompt #8-What sets you apart? Rough draft-notepad and italy
3 - Annika, it is my opinion that you should rethink the content of your essay. It is currently more of...
Undergraduateannikaacuna - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|Senatorial Nomination for Service Academy
UndergraduateTMoore2021 - Nov 14, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Nov 14, 2016
|The club ignited the fire in me to embrace my individuality - COMMON APP ESSAY REVIEW
9 - @Holt Sure. I'll keep in mind everything you've mentioned and make changes. Once again, thank you very much....
Undergraduatefall2017 - Nov 13, 2016 / fall2017 - Nov 14, 2016
|What can you bring on board - Calvin College
3 - Bless, you have a pretty good overview of the activities that you plan to participate in while at Calvin....
UndergraduateBlessBampoe - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
|Discipline your emotions, or they will use you - Common app Prompt 2
6 - @Holt Thank you for your help, and I will change my essay topic and will concentrate on detail picturing....
Undergraduatebarry - Nov 12, 2016 / barry - Nov 13, 2016
|So naive and young, I had belief that high school was going to be simple. Experiencing an failure.
4 - @lexilexi123 Hello, Your essay seems to relate to the topic well. However, I have some suggestions for you. I...
Undergraduatelexilexi123 - Oct 31, 2016 / fall2017 - Nov 13, 2016
|REVIEW ESSAY FOR PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER APPLICATION
2 - Rebecca, for starters, you are 9 words over the 500 word maximum limit. You may want to look into...
Undergraduaterebeccahailee - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|I'm imagining what will happen if I got a ticket to go anywhere I want. I'll go to the year of 2020.
3 - Chanh, the ticket story should be based on your current reality. The ticket does not give you access to...
Undergraduatechanh1239x - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|"I do not dream success, I work for it." - My principal. Essay apply Texas To UT Austin
2 - Chanh, this draft essay definitely works very well as a response to the background story. However, there was a...
Undergraduatechanh1239x - Nov 13, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|The Light Inside the Dark. Why would you be a good participant in UGRAD Program?
3 - Madina, I am not sure that this essay will work for the benefit of your application. The UGrad program...
UndergraduateMadina S - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 13, 2016
|Personal essay to introduce myselve to my classmates
2 - Hi, Florian. Here some advice for your writing ... biology in Göttingen, BUT PRIOR TO THATBefore, she...
Undergraduateflozer - Nov 13, 2016 / NinaJoesuf25 - Nov 13, 2016
|If I had a ticket to anywhere, anywhere I'd like, I'd travel overseas to Syria. Essay topic C 2017
Undergraduateabbykae - Nov 10, 2016 / abbykae - Nov 13, 2016
|"Dream Big, and The Result Will be Big." Why would you be a great participant of Ugrad?
2 - Ryan, your essay is interesting and informative. However, the middle part deviated from being a personal statement, to bordering...
Undergraduatewhitewalker - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 12, 2016
|Looking back on how I handled that situation I should have acted differently - ethical dilemma essay
3 - In the first paragraph, you are running a bit short. I suggest you move up the second paragraph and...
Undergraduatecjtwhidbey - Nov 12, 2016 / Holt - Nov 12, 2016
|This my Literacy essay, my professor asked me to revise it to get a better grade..
2 - Ahhamad, it would be easier for us to review your essay if you had attached your professors comments. Then...
Undergraduateahammadchy - Nov 11, 2016 / Holt - Nov 11, 2016
|Colorado College - Supplemental Essay: Why do you want to attend?
3 - Chantal, could you revise the beginning of your essay a bit so that it doesn't sound so much like...
Undergraduatechantalkelly - Nov 11, 2016 / Holt - Nov 11, 2016
|An essay pertaining to why I would like to be a hokie (Virginia tech)
2 - Andrea, are your father and aunt legacy students from Virginia Tech? The only reason that you should be mentioning...
Undergraduatealovemarvel - Nov 10, 2016 / Holt - Nov 10, 2016
|A good fit for University Scholars program
2 - Peter, what is the maximum word or character count for your response statement? I am asking because I would...
UndergraduateAvornyo Bless - Nov 8, 2016 / Holt - Nov 9, 2016
|'to learn, and to be a better one' Personal Essay of an Art Student Applying to RISD, SAIC and MICA
4 - Shanran, in my opinion, you need not refer to the fact that your name is connected to your motto...
UndergraduateRaven Mo - Nov 2, 2016 / Holt - Nov 8, 2016
|A personal statement (within 300 words) explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school
4 - Yeasir, you mentioned that you first heard about the UWC from your father. It would be beneficial to your...
Undergraduateyeasir - Nov 2, 2016 / Holt - Nov 8, 2016
|Asking organizations for funds - UC Essay Intended major, Need help on editing
3 - Rohan, we need to work on the presentation of your essay. Since you are discussing your intended major, you...
Undergraduaterohan_sohail - Nov 8, 2016 / Holt - Nov 8, 2016
|Career oriented experience. The influence of my father drove me to create an online store on Taobao
6 - The narrative is fine as far as I can tell. the parallelism in the story is something that should...
Undergraduateatlantapie - Nov 6, 2016 / Holt - Nov 6, 2016
|Common App essay about how I dealt with my Mother's Breast Cancer
UndergraduateSbender - Nov 5, 2016 / Holt - Nov 5, 2016
|The most important section in a student's live (personal statement for CUHK)
4 - What i mean is that you cannot base your major solely on the choice of the university that you...
UndergraduatekarenL - Oct 26, 2016 / Holt - Nov 4, 2016
|PHILIPPINES: THE LAND OF THE UNEMPLOYED, A SNAPSHOT OF THE PHILIPPINE CASE
2 - Sam, before we can accurately review the content of this paper, we need to have some additional information. Information...
Undergraduateflowerb2st - Nov 3, 2016 / Holt - Nov 4, 2016
|Why I selected Computer Science as my major - Illinois -- Urbana-Champaign prompt
2 - Yamini, in answer to your first question, you should remove all references to your interest in programming starting from...
Undergraduatenyanpasu - Nov 3, 2016 / Holt - Nov 3, 2016
|STANFORD extracurricular activities or work experiences, can I make supplement essay on photography?
4 - Hello, You certainly do not want to keep writing about Photography in all of your essays. However, the...
Undergraduatecbarnes17 - Nov 1, 2016 / admission2012 - Nov 2, 2016
|REWRITE of Short (250 word) MIT Admissions Essay on the "world I come from"
Undergraduateabhavsar - Nov 1, 2016 / admission2012 - Nov 2, 2016
|The most innovative and creative students - Help on Penn Essay
4 - In my opinion, you should entirely omit the real estate portion because that does not directly tie in with...
Undergraduatesekoufoley - Nov 1, 2016 / Holt - Nov 2, 2016
|Volleyball and grandparents. REVIEWING MY COLLEGE ADMISSION ESSAY
4 - Okay. If I were to write this essay based upon the information that you gave me, I would probably...
Undergraduaterayst10 - Nov 2, 2016 / Holt - Nov 2, 2016
|If you could only do one of the activities which one would you keep doing? Why? U of M essay
4 - Rose, you can definitely do that. Don't be afraid to play around with the content of the essay. Specially...
Undergraduaterone1 - Nov 1, 2016 / Holt - Nov 1, 2016
|Life lessons tend to stick with you forever when they come from the realization of your mistakes
UndergraduateAkash_R - Nov 1, 2016 / Akash_R - Nov 1, 2016
|You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion to express your accomplishments since graduation.
2 - Yunior, you have the right idea when it comes to the accomplishments that you dream of having within 1...
Undergraduateyuniorlh - Nov 1, 2016 / Holt - Nov 1, 2016
|I cannot sing, but I am a singer. Singing and music - Yale Common App Personal Statement
5 - Amishi, would you consider using the closing paragraph as your opening paragraph instead? That particular paragraph has a memorable...
Undergraduateamishiii - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|Growing up, I explored all kinds of technologies. University of Illinois Champaign Application Essay
2 - Brian, you need to find a balance in the essay between the development of your interest in computer programming...
UndergraduateCheerfulButter - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|Teaching English and Computer classes (Chevening leadership essay)
2 - Rani, in the first paragraph, as the leader of the group, I am sure that you were informed regarding...
Undergraduatebeauty60 - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|Staying alone at home - I had finally grown up. Common App prompt #5
6 - Haha alright, you're making me feel bad for that line now! :3 I guess I'll just merge it with...
Undergraduatenyanpasu - Oct 28, 2016 / nyanpasu - Oct 31, 2016
|Teacher Networks - Chevening essay
2 - Rani, post this essay as a new thread. The forum rules indicate that you need to present only one...
Undergraduatebeauty60 - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|Incapability is the worst kind of failure. Recognizing a failure in study.
4 - Hey Woodoo, don't feel defeated just yet. There is still a way that you can save the essay. You...
Undergraduatewoodoo - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|Why Rice? Intellectual atmosphere and traditions eg. celebrations revolving around Willy's statue.
9 - Don't forget to highlight the research that you might be interested in. It helps to mention specific programs and...
Undergraduateanageecantu - Oct 30, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|"I'm a good friend" without saying it. MIT Admissions Essay on my contribution to my community
Undergraduateabhavsar - Oct 30, 2016 / dils - Oct 31, 2016
|Tufts Supplemental Essay about how I was raised and how it influenced my life today
Undergraduatecb8156 - Oct 30, 2016 / dils - Oct 31, 2016
|Why Tufts? Essay-- The attitude; I take work seriously, always doing my best in everything
2 - Cassie, don't use the words of encouragement or the reasons why another person would opt to attend Tufts. As...
Undergraduatecb8156 - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|My parents are immigrants from India who grew up in relatively poor conditions - "world I come from"
2 - Arnav, you only 250 words to work with. So don't try to present too much information which cannot be...
Undergraduateabhavsar - Oct 31, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|What peculiarity or unique distinctives do you possess that will allow you to contribute to UF
4 - Hi Joseph. Thanks for understanding what I was trying to tell you. I know that there are times when...
UndergraduateJosephLopez99 - Oct 30, 2016 / Holt - Oct 31, 2016
|The most important reason, that I want to become a Hokie, is to feel like I belong somewhere
2 - ... campus seem like the perfect place to be in You don't need the extra preposition "in" at the...
UndergraduateDOTAchilles - Oct 30, 2016 / abhavsar - Oct 30, 2016
|Being involved in a car accident. Common Application, Personal Statement Essay
2 - Grace, the essay definitely shows a perfect example of a transition to adulthood. Your dad's reaction is classic! However,...
Undergraduategrrace1004 - Oct 30, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|YALE UNIVERSITY - Should I apply?
2 - Rafael, you might just be one of the lucky few to gain admission to Yale from your country. Considering...
Undergraduatermarquez - Oct 30, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|'An engineer like my father' - UIUC Electrical Engineering Major Choice Essay
5 - @Holt Thank you so much for all your detailed feedback! I will definitely take it all into account as...
UndergraduateNeehar27 - Oct 29, 2016 / Neehar27 - Oct 30, 2016
|How to add more about myself in Cornell CAS application essay?
10 - I suggest mentioning Cornell very early on in the essay. Your response looks like it could be used for...
Undergraduateliane - Oct 23, 2016 / rmarquez - Oct 30, 2016
|"Why NYU?" Essay written based on New York's Charm
Undergraduatekenant - Oct 29, 2016 / rmarquez - Oct 30, 2016
|Penn allows me to focus on my academic interest in a profound manner.
4 - Again, the first paragraph is really unnecessary. Why do you insist on presenting that historical fact that does not...
Undergraduateprajain - Oct 27, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|Three Ways People Close to You Describe You - DeMatha
2 - Hey David, it is really important that you revise the content of your essay because it does not deliver...
UndergraduateKingKO92 - Oct 29, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|I disappointed myself and my coach; MIT Admissions Essay on Overcoming a Challenge
2 - Hey Arnav, you really did very good work on this essay. You showed more than just how you overcame...
Undergraduateabhavsar - Oct 29, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|Losing a parent - a tragic impulse to transition from childhood to adulthood - common app prompt
3 - HI NIlufar, your approach the prompt is unique in a certain way. You have managed to turn an overview...
Undergraduatenilufars - Oct 29, 2016 / Holt - Oct 30, 2016
|"Glorious to View". Cornell Writing Supplement - College of Arts and Sciences
2 - Rafael, most reviewers do not take kindly to applicants who name-drop their professor's names in their college application essays....
Undergraduatermarquez - Oct 29, 2016 / Holt - Oct 29, 2016
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