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|Frog. Deefrog. Froggy. UVA Essay: Favorite Word (Odd but unique essay) (250 words)
5 - ...my close friends preferchoose to refer to me as an small, slimy amphibious animal. ... it has replaced...
UndergraduateDeepakG - Nov 30, 2016 / sleepycorndogs - Dec 1, 2016
|"Table No. 4: 1 Langoustine Ceviche & 2 medium-rare veal filets" extracurricular activities essay
6 - @Holt Thank you very much holt, I really loved your version. If there's anything I could do for u,...
Undergraduatekervin - Nov 30, 2016 / kervin - Nov 30, 2016
|Hopes and Dreams... The fate of my father and countless others in Kathmandu
3 - Thank you for your suggestion. I have submitted this essay to one college.Is it leaning more towards breaking...
Undergraduategyanas - Nov 30, 2016 / gyanas - Nov 30, 2016
|I am quirky myself. Why Tufts? Which aspects prompt your application
UndergraduateKutluasiye - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|"My brother to my left, My brother my right. Together we stand, Together we fight."
UndergraduatePickleM1 - Nov 29, 2016 / justivy03 - Nov 30, 2016
|Today experience matters much more than credentials in the labor market. ProTrack Engineering Co-op
UndergraduateNgwane - Nov 28, 2016 / Ngwane - Nov 30, 2016
|It only took about 10 years of public schooling for me to finally appreciate science.
2 - Allana, I think that your narration can be better improved if you skip talking about the dullness of your...
Undergraduatesleepycorndogs - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Essay pertaining to a life expeirience that influenced character
2 - Andreas, there seems to be an exaggeration on your part regarding the accident. You describe the minivan as having...
Undergraduatealovemarvel - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Personal Profile for application (applied sciences)
3 - Eric, rather than simply telling the reviewer that you were an introvert, you should have shown instances when other...
Undergraduatebontol - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|A dream ticket: I would get on a plane to Silicon Valley for a meeting with Elon Musk
2 - Ryan, please don't waste your opportunity in this essay on such a trivial response as meeting celebrities and spending...
Undergraduateryan6ixgod - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Kilachand Honors College Essay on the Power
4 - Charisma, here the thing, your opening statement should be a presentation of facts based upon the paraphrased prompt. That...
Undergraduatepoorwriterhelp - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|Most students have an identity, an interest or a talent that defines them in an essential way...
2 - Kieran, what you are talking about is not a talent nor an identity. You have nothing in this essay...
Undergraduatekieranh1 - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|In the Eyes of My Siblings - ESSAY for UCLA: Freshman Application
2 - Salma, I am confused. What is the relevance of your running away from home? Since you bothered to narrate...
Undergraduatefdodi1 - Nov 30, 2016 / Holt - Nov 30, 2016
|What was the surroundings in which you grew up? Explain how it shaped you as a person.
5 - @Holt Thank you for your advice but I would not consider myself a "military brat" as I was never...
Undergraduaterachizzle17 - Nov 29, 2016 / rachizzle17 - Nov 30, 2016
|Essay about failure in musical theatre resulting in success in opera - common app prompt
4 - Am I that active? Thanks for the compliment Allana. In reference to your question, the forum admin doesn't consider...
Undergraduatesleepycorndogs - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Nov 29, 2016
|Along the way of my 17-year rollercoaster ride in this life, I have learned valuable life lessons
2 - Ryan, your opening statement is good but doesn't really help your story along. The physical description of the family...
Undergraduateryan6ixgod - Nov 29, 2016 / Holt - Nov 29, 2016
|Right from my childhood, my dream was to become a civil Engineer - personal and/or academic goals
2 - Habeeb. the prompt was cut off in your title portion. Please post the full prompt as soon as you...
Undergraduatehabeeb - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|What draws you to Bates- Bates 2016 Writing Supplement
2 - Kevin, the essay really works for your benefit. It is strong and clearly reflects your understanding of the prompt...
UndergraduateKevinG - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|My Struggle with Personal Relationship and How I Solved It- 2016 CA Essay
5 - Yankun, whether it is the problem prompt or the failure prompt, your essay works for either common app discussion....
UndergraduateKevinG - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|Cuba Experience - PENN STATE ESSAY REVIEW
Undergraduatekaatgxx - Nov 21, 2016 / kaatgxx - Nov 28, 2016
|To get accepted into USC, one must _____________. (USC SUPPLEMENT)
4 - Thanks for the clarification. I believe that you still pursue some presentation about the organization that will help you...
Undergraduatethenickchin - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|Keeping Your Stomach and Heart Full
3 - While you do mention that joy starts in the kitchen, you end up discussing dinner as the main activity...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 28, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|The Death of my Father. I become a self-sufficient, conscientious learner - Apply Texas Essay A
3 - @lizaboo72 Let me just say that I absolutely loved your essay. It truly shows how strong you are and...
Undergraduatelizaboo72 - Nov 27, 2016 / yjung17 - Nov 28, 2016
|'help others to get the ball rolling and self-perseverance' - Responding to an unfamiliar situation
3 - Albert, in order to understand why dealing with the seniors was an unfamiliar situation to you, the reviewer must...
UndergraduateOnlineBlueTurtle - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Nov 28, 2016
|As a Nigerian and also a black child, I stand as a symbol of Africa all over the world and my dream
4 - Habeeb, let's start with the opening paragraph. That is really not necessary as your second paragraph is stronger and...
Undergraduatehabeeb - Nov 27, 2016 / Holt - Nov 27, 2016
|Only Better - conquering something a thousand times larger than myself; Common App. Personal Essay
3 - @Holt, thank you so much for your comments. Your feedback definitely puts things into perspective, and I am willing...
Undergraduatermarquez - Nov 27, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|College application essay on how I will help enrich their community!
4 - Good foundation, but I think you would do well to expound on the programs and clubs that you plan...
Undergraduatebreslusarek - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Doing something for the first time can be extremely intimidating... Describe an unfamiliar situation
4 - I think that what you have written would make a good introduction. You could use your rugby experience as...
Undergraduatejentyj - Nov 26, 2016 / rmarquez - Nov 27, 2016
|Describe your best experience working as a leader or working in a group or team (SHAD Valley 2017)
Undergraduatealex137911 - Nov 26, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.
4 - @ymcashehata After all, scientific discoveries are not made by parrots who refuse to question what their surroundings.... ...
Undergraduateymcashehata - Nov 7, 2016 / alex137911 - Nov 26, 2016
|Education is the first step in my life as an adult - Common app essay
4 - Fantastic ! Victoria, you have really come through with this essay. The idea behind how you transformed into an...
Undergraduateblueblue01 - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Nov 26, 2016
|'all the hard work made will be worth it' - UPenn's Writing Supplement
6 - @Holt I can't thank you enough for the advice! I'll start my new essay and I'll probably share it...
Undergraduatepoorwriterhelp - Nov 24, 2016 / poorwriterhelp - Nov 26, 2016
|Being biracial is like fighting a war within yourself - COMMON APP ESSAY REVIEW
12 - Happy belated Thanksgiving to you to and yes, I do celebrate Thanksgiving. I really like the way your essay...
Undergraduatekangsix - Nov 20, 2016 / Holt - Nov 26, 2016
|Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character
UndergraduateRedPillow - Nov 25, 2016 / justivy03 - Nov 25, 2016
|WHY BOSTON UNIVERSITY? my passion for biology and experience living in a 3rd world nation
2 - Ademidun, I do not see any commonalities listed between your interests in Boston University and the way the university...
UndergraduateDemieymaj - Nov 25, 2016 / Holt - Nov 25, 2016
|Common App Prompt 5: How family problems helped catalyze my transition to adulthood.
3 - Hassan, it can be said that this essay, in terms of story, focuses more on your brother and the...
Undergraduateashutosh123 - Nov 24, 2016 / Holt - Nov 25, 2016
|Helping elderly using new technologies. Statement of objective, MIT graduate school
11 - @Holt Thank you so much! I really appreciate what you have done to help people improve essays and...
Undergraduatesddxwytxfh - Nov 22, 2016 / sddxwytxfh - Nov 24, 2016
|Human resource management answer - your specific concentration areas of interest
4 - Nazia, if you will kindly remove the reference to being a deputy commissioner, the second half of your response...
Undergraduatenazzia30 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 24, 2016
|My greatest talent or skill: Dance/Choreography. Why is this meaningful to you?
3 - Elaine, I find that your essay was misled in direction by the opening statement that you presented. That is...
Undergraduateey17173 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 24, 2016
|'my outlet to express myself' - FIT Fashion Merchandising and Management Major Fall 2017
2 - Sophia, I have some points for your consideration regarding your presentation of information in the essay. First of all,...
Undergraduatesoph1998 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 24, 2016
|We want to get to know you better. Description by a friend. Colgate University Supplemental Essay
4 - Cassie, based upon your description in the statement, your character trait should be described more as opinionated than honest....
Undergraduatecb8156 - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 24, 2016
|"I could either watch it happen or be part of it." SOP for technical internship.
3 - I would also recommend relating it back to the quote you started it with to truly conclude your essay....
UndergraduateKodesmart - Nov 23, 2016 / cb8156 - Nov 23, 2016
|The exam day had arrived. Personal Essay for Common App
3 - Akankysha, I think that your essay is running a bit too long when it doesn't need to be. Your...
Undergraduateakankshya - Nov 23, 2016 / Holt - Nov 23, 2016
|Illegal. Undocumented. Invisible. Vulnerable. I am a DREAMER - Common App essay
3 - Michelle, I can sense the emotions that you have placed into developing this essay. You have laid yourself out...
Undergraduatemichelle31 - Nov 22, 2016 / Holt - Nov 22, 2016
|I ruffled my hair in frustration - Common app essay on background, identity, interest, or talent
3 - Cindy, here is a rule of thumb with reviewers reading college application essays. They do not believe, appreciate, nor...
Undergraduatecmizhquiri - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 22, 2016
|Why you are interested in applying to and attending Swarthmore? To be challenged academically.
4 - I would rather that you do not add them. You see, unless you have actually experienced the events or...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 21, 2016
|Growing up with a single, military mother- PENN STATE ESSAY REVIEW
4 - Yes, you should definitely explain the situation about your mother's PTSD and your brother's Epilepsy because those situations further...
Undergraduatekangsix - Nov 21, 2016 / Holt - Nov 21, 2016
|NYU Abu Dhabi. The idea of going to an university, let alone leaving the school, had been disturbing
5 - Hello, let me give my correction for you while specialisingspecializing in one field of pursuingan or the...
UndergraduateWaheguru225 - Nov 20, 2016 / yurikeyuri - Nov 21, 2016
|Tell us something you do for your own pleasure. (sketching and reading)
Undergraduateidontknow - Nov 20, 2016 / idontknow - Nov 20, 2016
|Admission essay: If I had to choose... I'd go to Thailand.
2 - Tasnim, you have really responded well to the prompt with the topic you have chosen and the presentation you...
Undergraduatetasnimf - Nov 19, 2016 / Holt - Nov 20, 2016
|Barnard is all that I have envisioned
7 - Yoosol, you need to make adjustments to the first paragraph where you speak of the values that Anne Nathan...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 17, 2016 / Holt - Nov 18, 2016
|Boston University is the Perfect Utopia
6 - Hello I will give you my correction, feel free to corection me too. Ever since I remember when...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Nov 15, 2016 / alfinkurnia - Nov 17, 2016
|Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be an Artist. SCAD statement of purpose.
3 - Luisa, what you have written is a personal statement for your application. This is not a statement of purpose....
Undergraduateluisaj - Nov 16, 2016 / Holt - Nov 17, 2016
|A story about yourself that you have not already shared in your application
Undergraduatelibbysims - Nov 16, 2016 / libbysims - Nov 16, 2016
|If I had the ticket in my hands right now I would be on my way to visit Paris. College essay
3 - Hello, Mariel. In the second paragraph, I found that you tried to contradict your motive about the destination. It's...
Undergraduatedianamariel - Nov 16, 2016 / khanifati - Nov 16, 2016
|My personal long term goal is to become a civil engineer and be an inspiration to others
3 - @Lucas1997 You have just 100 word maximum, so there is no neccesity to repeat 'My personal long term goal...
UndergraduateLucas1997 - Nov 9, 2016 / Nyurkens - Nov 15, 2016
|I had always been infatuated with animated cartoon shows - USC Cinematic Arts Personal Statement
10 - Hello, let me give you my correction ...,one thing I will never budge on,...I think this is opposite,...
UndergraduateMiaZhang - Nov 5, 2016 / yurikeyuri - Nov 15, 2016
|UC Prompt- OBSTACLES...Taking care of grandma
2 - Annika, indeed, this essay is quite personal. It is well written and portrays your difficulties in life. I know...
Undergraduateannikaacuna - Nov 15, 2016 / Holt - Nov 15, 2016
|I have lost in a competition, but I have won many things - IMP: Astronomy - Common App Essay
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Ehabugrad - Nov 14, 2016
|College Essay: What inspired you to apply to Union? (Limit: 150 words)
4 - There are a number of discussion points that you can consider for this statement. The first is the liberal...
UndergraduateEhabugrad - Nov 14, 2016 / Holt - Nov 14, 2016
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