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|My "WHY NYU?" Essay (for Class of 2021)- (NYU Steinhardt)
4 - Then, since the essay is all about why you wish to attend NYU, you should use that statement to...
Undergraduatezahra998 - Oct 27, 2016 / Holt - Oct 29, 2016
|Paragraph from common app prompt #5. Coffee as an obstacle in life, will revise back
2 - Hey Anthony, I know that you would like us to comment on your current paragraph for the common app...
Undergraduateeuphorain - Oct 28, 2016 / Holt - Oct 29, 2016
|About the failure in the American Dream
Undergraduatemelokour - Oct 28, 2016 / melokour - Oct 28, 2016
|My achievements - extracurricular or volunteer activities in which you participate.
4 - It isn't hard to fix. Since you are responding to a prompt provided by the university, the correct format...
Undergraduatechikomm16 - Oct 28, 2016 / Holt - Oct 28, 2016
|Columbia Supplement - 1. Why Columbia? 2. Why these majors?
2 - hello, I have read your essay and here is my opinion (1) Please research about the qualities in...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Oct 28, 2016 / chikomm16 - Oct 28, 2016
|Penn offers the next stage of an intellectual journey - Application Essay for Wharton (Penn)
UndergraduateJASONSUN99 - Oct 27, 2016 / JASONSUN99 - Oct 27, 2016
|Child of a thousand hills from Rwanda
UndergraduateAshleigh - Oct 22, 2016 / Ashleigh - Oct 27, 2016
|My village and its customs that changed my life!
25 - 1. Since this is not an activity that you did only once, then the choice is "visits". The plural...
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 21, 2016 / Holt - Oct 27, 2016
|Application Essay What got me into architecture, how does it manifest itself in my everyday life?
UndergraduateValltax - Oct 26, 2016 / Valltax - Oct 27, 2016
|Opportunity is my main concern with choosing a school. FIT TRANSFER ADMISSIONS ESSAY - why FIT?
2 - Joanna, your essay is currently in need of revision in terms of content and chronology. You seem to also...
Undergraduatejoannam789 - Oct 26, 2016 / Holt - Oct 27, 2016
|A kid from Mongolia - Northwestern Supplement
2 - Bat, it is difficult to gauge the relevance of your essay to the supplemental essay prompt you are trying...
Undergraduatebmb_orgil - Oct 26, 2016 / Holt - Oct 26, 2016
|Essay: people I might live with
4 - @Holt, many thanks for your comprehensive feedback. I will take everything you wrote into account and will try to...
UndergraduateAlter - Oct 25, 2016 / Alter - Oct 26, 2016
|Discovering art in kindergarten. Entrance essay to art school!
2 - 1st Paragraph - ...dad always often... (two time adjectives are contradicting, pick one.) 3rd Paragraph - ...leaving me,...
UndergraduateLuludrea - Oct 26, 2016 / ichephe - Oct 26, 2016
|Describe your interest and experience in your chosen major (300-400 words)
3 - Thank you for your advice, but I think you've misunderstood some key things. To begin with, I'm not...
Undergraduatetaariya - Oct 26, 2016 / taariya - Oct 26, 2016
|"The trouble is, you think you have time"; essay about myself. G-PA
3 - I like your writing, little touched. But i think we need some correction I found the proverb to...
Undergraduatejohnta123 - Oct 23, 2016 / prettyinside - Oct 26, 2016
|I'm from Long An, a province in the south of Vietnam. Help me with my hometown. Very grateful.
Undergraduatenguyenhuyen - Oct 17, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Oct 25, 2016
|Why History is Worth Studying
8 - Well, after your review i discovered that all your attention focused in the past events. I would recommend...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Oct 21, 2016 / chikomm16 - Oct 25, 2016
|Edit my Upenn essay (explore your interest)
9 - Hi, i think you should focus more on realistic goals that attending Upenn would empower you to achieve. ...
Undergraduateprajain - Oct 10, 2016 / chikomm16 - Oct 25, 2016
|A personal and National Triumph
8 - If this is the format that you are comfortable using, then this is what we shall use Juanita. I...
UndergraduateAE02022504 - Oct 25, 2016 / Holt - Oct 25, 2016
|My homosexuality - Overcoming adversity and embracing individualism - common app essay
Undergraduatekdesai710 - Oct 25, 2016 / Holt - Oct 25, 2016
|Every year I buy 2 presents for my sister on her birthdays. Common App
NEW - Hi everyone. This is my common app and I would really appreciate it if anyone took a look at...
Undergraduateozdemir - Oct 25, 2016 / — -
|The motto Ut Prosim will always be in my mind... College Essay for Virginia Tech
Undergraduategabbyo - Oct 23, 2016 / gabbyo - Oct 25, 2016
|My Transition into a Stronger Reader
2 - Hello, I think your basic thought process here is great. However, I think you should approach this topic...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Oct 24, 2016 / admission2012 - Oct 24, 2016
|My path to love and understanding
2 - I really like how you're going about this situation. But if there is one advice I can give you,...
Undergraduateprofxav - Oct 24, 2016 / yjung17 - Oct 24, 2016
|Having a conversation is not easy and effortless for me. My struggle with social anxiety.
2 - Dear Teresa, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses, Growing up I...
Undergraduatezyx678 - Oct 24, 2016 / fadhilmd25 - Oct 24, 2016
|How the loss of my mother marked my transition from childhood to adulthood
2 - Well Joe, this story of self realization is a nice touch to your transition story. However, it lacks one...
UndergraduateJoeCuccs12 - Oct 24, 2016 / Holt - Oct 24, 2016
|My recommendations (ACCOUNTING AND BUSINESS)
2 - Both your letters are too long and does not present your strengths in the best possible manner. Review the...
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 24, 2016 / Holt - Oct 24, 2016
|"What does not destroy me makes me stronger" - Princeton Supplement prompt 5
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 21, 2016 / inav321 - Oct 24, 2016
|Comment and explanation section of pffa Princeton
12 - The rate used in the conversion of Nepali rupee to US dollars is: $1=Rs.107. My father is the...
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 23, 2016 / inav321 - Oct 24, 2016
|Say Yes to Saying No by Melody Jung
6 - There are just some simple revisions to be applied to the essay at this point. It really came out...
Undergraduateyjung17 - Oct 21, 2016 / Holt - Oct 24, 2016
|Occidental College; a vital stepping-stone in focusing my interests and shaping my view of the world
4 - Thanks for the clarification. In my opinion, you will need to make some adjustments to your current essay in...
Undergraduatecamshrages - Oct 20, 2016 / Holt - Oct 24, 2016
|"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future in life" Pennsylvania essay
2 - Dear rwelles, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct my responses, I want to...
Undergraduaterwelles - Oct 23, 2016 / fadhilmd25 - Oct 24, 2016
|"Art and Reality as Paint Strokes " - School of Visual Arts - SVA - Statement of Intent
2 - Your essay delivers a lot of information but does not really explain your passion behind your love of arts....
UndergraduateMellvei - Oct 23, 2016 / Holt - Oct 24, 2016
|"Washington D.C., yeah I can do this" I coached myself as my flight number was called.
2 - Hii Rmay.. Overall, it is a great writing, but i found several mistakes. Lemme show you. The plan...
UndergraduateRmay - Oct 23, 2016 / Giansy11 - Oct 23, 2016
|Common App Essay -- Cooking with my Polish Grandmother (does it say enough about me?)
Undergraduatebkornak - Oct 23, 2016 / Giansy11 - Oct 23, 2016
|Dance has taught me to be better. Common Application Essay about a meaningful talent
Undergraduatenirmitiparekh - Oct 23, 2016 / Giansy11 - Oct 23, 2016
|What qualities or Characteristics can you contribute to UCF - Humble, Strong, Liberated Mindset
3 - Jax, this is a pretty good essay. It really shows the kind of contribution that you can make to...
UndergraduateJaxkirch - Oct 22, 2016 / Holt - Oct 23, 2016
|Why Columbia? Better to ask: Why Core Curriculum?
2 - Aris, I think you should reorganize some paragraphs in your essay for better effect. The positioning of your sentences...
UndergraduateMetanoia - Oct 23, 2016 / Holt - Oct 23, 2016
|Georgia Tech essay prompt - If you had the opportunity to create a class, what would it be and why?
3 - Oh... right. I forgot that Creative Writing was a thing, haha. Thank you for reminding me! I'll think of...
Undergraduatenyanpasu - Oct 23, 2016 / nyanpasu - Oct 23, 2016
|What is a small goal I hope to accomplish in the near or far future? Sleep.
2 - Shawn, there are some parts of your essay that can better stated in order to create a more interesting...
Undergraduatejohnta123 - Oct 22, 2016 / Holt - Oct 23, 2016
|There is one thing only a few people know about me, I produce music: personal statement
2 - Tim, your essay is unique and really interesting to read. It presents a hidden side of you that may...
UndergraduateTVLAERE - Oct 22, 2016 / Holt - Oct 23, 2016
|CommonApp Essay Prompt2 --Princess Charming (Not exactly finished)
7 - Hi, Thank you for your suggestion. Instead of talking about the failure of Soccer game, my intention is to...
UndergraduateJASMINEkk - Oct 17, 2016 / Jazzystan0420 - Oct 23, 2016
|Free for all isn't too free...
UndergraduateWriterWriter1 - Oct 22, 2016 / WriterWriter1 - Oct 22, 2016
|Extracurricular activities, work - need guidance on improvement in language and grammar!
5 - hello brother,, let me give some corrections for you writing.. 1.Organising(organizing)debate competition and story 2. debate competition...
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 22, 2016 / Bekuk22 - Oct 22, 2016
|Busy two years in Nepal - spending free time on previous vacations
Undergraduateinav321 - Oct 22, 2016 / inav321 - Oct 22, 2016
|Failed Job Interview: Common App Prompt 2
3 - Thanks! I was really worried about whether my essay was boring, and I'm glad you found enjoyment in it....
Undergraduatetaariya - Oct 20, 2016 / taariya - Oct 22, 2016
|Reflect on a time in the last few years when you felt genuine excitement learning about something.
Undergraduatechizy7 - Oct 20, 2016 / Ahmadi015 - Oct 21, 2016
|'Growing up I had separated parents' - What was the environment you were raised?
2 - Anthony, the essay is good and almost on the mark in terms of discussing the kind of environment and...
UndergraduateAnthonyVardaro - Oct 21, 2016 / Holt - Oct 21, 2016
|Syracuse University never interested me. My passion for social work and helping others changed it.
4 - Kara, there does not really seem to be a strong influence regarding your desire to enroll at Syracuse. There...
Undergraduatehayenk17 - Oct 19, 2016 / Holt - Oct 21, 2016
|Did MICKEY MOUSE JUST TRY TO KIDNAP ME OR SHOW ME SOMETHING IMPORTANT?
2 - Hi! I have some feedback for you! ...out of the trolliestrolleys not being able to contain my emotion......
Undergraduatebenvb1234 - Oct 20, 2016 / kiki23 - Oct 21, 2016
|"Not Just a Job" Transition to adulthood. Entrance essay for Ohio State.
4 - Since you are supposed to talk about your transition to adulthood, why not concentrate on the job aspect from...
Undergraduatehayenk17 - Oct 19, 2016 / Holt - Oct 21, 2016
|Moving to America and getting more freedom
5 - This is the prompt I am writing. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so...
Undergraduatejpatel254 - Oct 20, 2016 / jpatel254 - Oct 20, 2016
|"Write about something that you love to do" (200 words or fewer) - Yale essay
Undergraduatechizy7 - Oct 17, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 20, 2016
|Painting for the school art show and a disaster. Common app: Describe a problem you've solved.
2 - This is quite a strong narrative essay in response to the prompt. However, it seems to start at the...
Undergraduatesel7sel - Oct 20, 2016 / Holt - Oct 20, 2016
|Description about me as a personal statement
UndergraduateNhatKhang - Oct 17, 2016 / NhatKhang - Oct 20, 2016
|Admissions Essay, "My Fathers Killer"
4 - "began applied myself in school" Make this "applying." I really like your essay, you show a lot of emotion...
UndergraduateDomjoliver - Oct 16, 2016 / hayenk17 - Oct 19, 2016
|Much of the work that students do at Emerson College is a form of storytelling. College app.
Undergraduateafoltz - Oct 19, 2016 / BeaTrix - Oct 19, 2016
|The Strong Finish: Common App Additional Information for Baylor.
3 - Hi Gabie, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, we hope that you find this website to...
Undergraduategabiesimone - Oct 15, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2016
|'Vagrant naked kids. Roads covered with the horrors of cow dungs.' NOV 1 help in editing....
9 - Try to revise the opening paragraph to provide a better opening statement. I think it works better if you...
Undergraduatelittlegirl - Oct 17, 2016 / Holt - Oct 19, 2016
|Have you ever imagine how your life would be without these most important people around you?
2 - Hi Sarah, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be...
Undergraduatesarahlysse - Oct 18, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2016
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