|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 25 of 429|
|"Not Just a Job" Transition to adulthood. Entrance essay for Ohio State.
4 - Since you are supposed to talk about your transition to adulthood, why not concentrate on the job aspect from...
Undergraduatehayenk17 - Oct 19, 2016 / Holt - Oct 21, 2016
|Moving to America and getting more freedom
5 - This is the prompt I am writing. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so...
Undergraduatejpatel254 - Oct 20, 2016 / jpatel254 - Oct 20, 2016
|"Write about something that you love to do" (200 words or fewer) - Yale essay
Undergraduatechizy7 - Oct 17, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 20, 2016
|Painting for the school art show and a disaster. Common app: Describe a problem you've solved.
2 - This is quite a strong narrative essay in response to the prompt. However, it seems to start at the...
Undergraduatesel7sel - Oct 20, 2016 / Holt - Oct 20, 2016
|Description about me as a personal statement
UndergraduateNhatKhang - Oct 17, 2016 / NhatKhang - Oct 20, 2016
|Admissions Essay, "My Fathers Killer"
4 - "began applied myself in school" Make this "applying." I really like your essay, you show a lot of emotion...
UndergraduateDomjoliver - Oct 16, 2016 / hayenk17 - Oct 19, 2016
|Much of the work that students do at Emerson College is a form of storytelling. College app.
Undergraduateafoltz - Oct 19, 2016 / BeaTrix - Oct 19, 2016
|The Strong Finish: Common App Additional Information for Baylor.
3 - Hi Gabie, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, we hope that you find this website to...
Undergraduategabiesimone - Oct 15, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2016
|'Vagrant naked kids. Roads covered with the horrors of cow dungs.' NOV 1 help in editing....
9 - Try to revise the opening paragraph to provide a better opening statement. I think it works better if you...
Undergraduatelittlegirl - Oct 17, 2016 / Holt - Oct 19, 2016
|Have you ever imagine how your life would be without these most important people around you?
2 - Hi Sarah, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be...
Undergraduatesarahlysse - Oct 18, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2016
|How my mom changed my life, childhood to adulthood
4 - Holt is right, they don't want to hear a sad story about a disease, but they do find exception...
Undergraduatea_nguyen - Oct 16, 2016 / johnta123 - Oct 19, 2016
|I want to bring my creativity and diversity to Yale because Yale is the right place for me.
4 - Thank you @Holt and @justivy03 I appreciate your feedback and I will let you know what comes out of...
Undergraduatechizy7 - Oct 18, 2016 / chizy7 - Oct 18, 2016
|QuestBridge National College Match Short Answers
7 - Although business isn't for me, instead of saying it use I was not originally interested in business. For...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Sep 18, 2016 / chizy7 - Oct 18, 2016
|Stanford Supplement - critique content/style
3 - I love your writing tone because it makes the reader feel like they have already met you. I think...
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Oct 16, 2016 / chizy7 - Oct 18, 2016
|"Time really flies by" - My personality and future goals
2 - Sabrina, your essay seems to have deviated from the main focus of the essay towards the latter part. There...
Undergraduatesaben - Oct 18, 2016 / Holt - Oct 18, 2016
|The feeling of absurdity. CommonApp Writing Response. Any comments will be appreciated
2 - This is a well written essay, but since this is for common app. I recommend you crossing out, "or...
Undergraduatemohito1999 - Oct 17, 2016 / a_nguyen - Oct 17, 2016
|Passed away parent college essay
2 - Leigha, I sense a disconnect between the main focus of your essay and its content. Your opening statement was...
Undergraduateleighaforever - Oct 16, 2016 / Holt - Oct 17, 2016
|Naval Academy Admissions Essay, need another set of eyes to see what I may not have!
Undergraduatejs7991 - Oct 16, 2016 / Holt - Oct 17, 2016
|Suffering from Bipolar Disorder - mental health of my father. What shaped me as a person.
Undergraduateads301 - Oct 16, 2016 / Holt - Oct 17, 2016
|Curiosity about foreign countries. I think there are negative impacts of tourism.
2 - Nowadays, there are thousands of visitors come to a welcomed country. - review this sentence - it sounds really...
UndergraduateTime - Oct 16, 2016 / Lola12 - Oct 16, 2016
|Working on puzzles had helped me gain focus, determination, and patience. Essay For Common App.
2 - This is a pretty well-written essay! I especially liked the paragraph with "The School of Athens". However, I would...
Undergraduatejohnta123 - Oct 15, 2016 / angeli6778 - Oct 16, 2016
|I watch action and comedy movies. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it - MIT essay
4 - Hey guys, I've prepared one essay based on your suggestions. If there is still more room for improvement,any further...
UndergraduateAvornyo - Oct 15, 2016 / Avornyo - Oct 15, 2016
|UPenn school of nursing supplement essay - Am I answering the question? Is this on the right track?
5 - Could you give me some idea of what I should write? Should I talk about my hospital experiences etc...
Undergraduatejennaz - Oct 12, 2016 / jennaz - Oct 14, 2016
|A Bad Day to Remember. Temple University Admissions Essay. English as second Language.
Undergraduateelyordan - Oct 14, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 14, 2016
|A free ticket? Does not that sound inspiring? Trip to the capital of the Empire State of Mind
2 - The content is okay and answers the prompt. To conclude the essay, you could summarize what do you plan...
UndergraduateJoseGonzalez98 - Oct 13, 2016 / randompenguin - Oct 14, 2016
|Who are the Nighthawks in Edward Hopper's painting? The UChicago uncommon essay.
UndergraduateTVLAERE - Oct 3, 2016 / TVLAERE - Oct 13, 2016
|I always visioned myself as a doctor; MCPHS essay, is it too basic/boring?
Undergraduatejuliaaba - Oct 12, 2016 / justivy03 - Oct 13, 2016
|"Why should my son learn a language that he will never use?" - Challenge an idea
UndergraduateNaaaaancy - Oct 12, 2016 / Naaaaancy - Oct 12, 2016
|"We're going to downtown San Diego!" Student's background and identity that show they're personality
3 - As he excitedly untied the ropes that kept his sailboat docked, my father exclaimed "We're going to downtown San...
UndergraduateShpun - Oct 10, 2016 / Shpun - Oct 12, 2016
|"Why is America the greatest country in the world?" COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT - Solve a problem
Undergraduatedaisyidk - Oct 8, 2016 / daisyidk - Oct 12, 2016
|Common App Beat Boxing Essay (Prompt Background/Identity/Interest)
2 - Hello, Absolutely well done! 10/10. This is the very first time that someone has answered this prompt correctly....
Undergraduateg1nplus - Oct 9, 2016 / admission2012 - Oct 10, 2016
|PS: CA/ Chinese and Western Cultural identity: personal statement help/common app
2 - As the beautiful yet familiar sceneries pass the window => I think this clause should be put in the...
Undergraduatelucindaliu - Oct 9, 2016 / halinhtrang - Oct 10, 2016
|FIT admissions essay. I would really appreciate some suggestions on my essay.
Undergraduatenancy23 - Oct 8, 2016 / admission2012 - Oct 8, 2016
|Alex Kerr ApplyTexas Essay about the environment in which I grew up
3 - Hi Alex Let me give you some correction... ... my brother was born inat a British military base......
UndergraduateCollegeisneat - Oct 7, 2016 / Yonathan - Oct 7, 2016
|As Georgetown is a diverse community, the Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in
3 - Hello, Your essay is really well written and I enjoyed reading it+++++ What was the prompt that you...
Undergraduateambikav99 - Oct 4, 2016 / admission2012 - Oct 6, 2016
|I am going to apply for Erasmus Mundus undergraduate exchange, this is my Statement of Purpose
Undergraduatehelloworld0000 - Oct 5, 2016 / Ucha MSN - Oct 6, 2016
|Essay on collaboration. Tesla didn't create their world renown electric cars with one engineer.
2 - The next part of the projectPROJECTS, my team assigned SOME roles for each of us to play. Like real...
UndergraduateAwesomerif - Oct 4, 2016 / Ucha MSN - Oct 6, 2016
|College Admission Essay for Claremont McKenna College
Undergraduatemenkh4243 - Oct 5, 2016 / menkh4243 - Oct 5, 2016
|As a middle school lacrosse player I loved Syracuse.
UndergraduateLZ_XC - Oct 4, 2016 / admission2012 - Oct 5, 2016
|UNC Supplement Essay: Tell us a story that helps us better understand...
4 - hello there,, let me give some suggestions for you. I hope that some suggestion can help and increase your...
Undergraduatefleurdj - Oct 4, 2016 / Bekuk22 - Oct 4, 2016
|Umich Supplement-Why essay-passion for Mathematics in LSA
2 - Hello, reedyharbour! Your essay is very good, but I would give you corrections for your essay 1....
Undergraduatereedyharbour - Oct 4, 2016 / erwiin1 - Oct 4, 2016
|To fear change is to fear opportunity- UIUC Transfer Essay
3 - @TJLuschen Thank you very much. I am working on adding in the corrections you suggested right now. If I...
UndergraduateMedunjobi - Oct 3, 2016 / Medunjobi - Oct 4, 2016
|'I'm a sophomore in IEM' - a very important introduction
2 - Hello Wilson, .., 4 members in my family including my parents, my elder brother and meMy Elder brother...
UndergraduateWilson_Chen - Oct 3, 2016 / Medunjobi - Oct 4, 2016
|Penn 2016-2017 supplement (Wharton school)
4 - I suggest you to cut the paragraph on Philadelphia as that is not really related to Penn itself. Save...
UndergraduateTVLAERE - Oct 3, 2016 / ericaleleyang - Oct 3, 2016
|Imagine you are in a waiting room for seeing a doctor. Describe the waiting room and people (nurses,
UndergraduateHenrylheng - Oct 2, 2016 / Henrylheng - Oct 3, 2016
|Transfer common app essay. I'm a freshman in community college and looking for transfer to UMass
7 - hi friend i have some suggestions for you Math and Science hashave always been my strength ... ...
Undergraduatepedieuda - Sep 28, 2016 / bismillah - Oct 2, 2016
|Peace Corps Motivation Statement- Reasons for Joining and Dealing with Challenges
NEW - Peace Corps service presents major physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges. In the space below, please provide a few paragraphs...
Undergraduatecollegebound28 - Sep 30, 2016 / — -
|Peace Corps Resume Help with clarity, Spelling/Grammar and proofreading.
Undergraduatecollegebound28 - Sep 30, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Sep 30, 2016
|I dreamed of going to FIT and becoming a fashion designer, since I was ten.
3 - Hello, You provide a great deal of information about your background and why you will be a non-traditional...
Undergraduateasundar86 - Sep 27, 2016 / admission2012 - Sep 29, 2016
|Kelley School of Business - My life experiences, past and current school work, and strong commitment
3 - Hello, There are two main problems with your essay. The first is that you simply glaze over your...
Undergraduateswlw - Sep 28, 2016 / admission2012 - Sep 29, 2016
|I have been learning Physics in advanced level which galvanizes me to find more books myself
2 - Hi mate,,, I have read your writing. however, there are several matter that you need to pay attention,,, ...
Undergraduatehuanbumdev - Sep 28, 2016 / andika_soppeng - Sep 29, 2016
|An Indian living in China; University of Chicago--Help with First question
Undergraduatemohito1999 - Sep 27, 2016 / Fitri12 - Sep 28, 2016
|I have not had a good English teacher since my freshman year of high school
3 - Hi Allison, You've done a good job I think. Your writing has a good flow and amazing stories....
Undergraduateallisond112 - Sep 22, 2016 / Iedha01 - Sep 28, 2016
|Big City Dreams Flagler College Essay
Undergraduatehannan - Sep 27, 2016 / Alamsyah Ismail - Sep 28, 2016
|UCAS personal statement - Should I remove part of the intro and talk more about my accomplishments?
NEW - This is my UCAS personal statement that I will send in when I am applying to university, each school...
Undergraduateobi1410 - Sep 27, 2016 / — -
|How does a girl at a uniform clad school develop an interest in fashion? FIT - business management
2 - Hi Taytay, I have some suggestions to your writing, hope this can help. Although I attended a rigoroustough college...
Undergraduatetaytay10133 - Sep 25, 2016 / fauzankrn - Sep 27, 2016
|Georgia Tech Essay Prompt: Students are often told what classes they should take.
5 - Thanks a lot for your useful feedback! I'm rethinking about the real values that this class offers. So I...
Undergraduatehnguyen9905 - Sep 24, 2016 / hnguyen9905 - Sep 26, 2016
|QuestBridge Short Essays for the National College Match
UndergraduateNeferbeth - Sep 24, 2016 / taytay10133 - Sep 25, 2016
|QuestBridge biographical essay - "Here's one special skill you won't see on my resume"
Undergraduateangeli6778 - Sep 10, 2016 / aikoashiya - Sep 24, 2016
|'major in Philosophy Pre-Law and law school'; University of Washington Tacoma - Personal Statement
2 - nice essay.. I immediately note the switch in culture, people, and language. I leave the airport, and with my...
Undergraduatetamarafakhoury - Sep 23, 2016 / rofiat - Sep 23, 2016
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