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|Math Circle Program - common app essay
9 - i don't really like the overall negative feeling for the first half of the essay, but the positive change...
Undergraduateperplexity215 - Oct 8, 2010 / lapetitecygne - Jan 1, 2011
|"I used to giggle at doctors" - JHU Supplement #1
6 - Revised it! I'm still a little uncomfortable with the philosophy portion, but I think it'll do fine. 250 words...
UndergraduateTumor - Dec 31, 2010 / Tumor - Jan 1, 2011
|I have a responsibility act on the compassion I feel for the less fortunate
6 - You've done a great job answering the former part of the question, however, I would add a little bit...
UndergraduateSmileyMan - Dec 30, 2010 / budboi - Jan 1, 2011
|"Special little brother" Tufts Supplement Essay
Undergraduatezrabbat93 - Jan 1, 2011 / zrabbat93 - Jan 1, 2011
|submission question (I my common app at 12:01)
9 - Submission Question!!!! - Important I submitted my application and supplement yesterday (12-31-10) but commonapp says it was submitted...
Undergraduatemdg921 - Jan 1, 2009 / domnomial - Jan 1, 2011
|Quilting: Common application short essay on an extracurricular
2 - From prior experience, I have found that quilting is often thought of as a hobby for the elderly and...
Undergraduatejackie224 - Jan 1, 2011 / brucal9207 - Jan 1, 2011
|(Sound Recording Technology) about How I realized what major to pick.
2 - I think overall your essay is pretty good I think you should rephrase this sentence. It sounds a...
Undergraduatebudboi - Jan 1, 2011 / marvi92 - Jan 1, 2011
|Moving to new places has helped me be the person I'am today - Common App essay
3 - Since you began with the part about your senior year moving and went all the way back to your...
Undergraduatemarvi92 - Jan 1, 2011 / budboi - Jan 1, 2011
|"Computers have always interested me" - MIT Prompt: We know you lead a busy life...
3 - Hi, i like you're essay, it shows your passion for computers. However, you need a better start, cuz ur...
UndergraduateArcyQwerty - Dec 27, 2010 / mbanani - Jan 1, 2011
|"Ballet: A Lifestyle Choice" - my common app essay options
UndergraduateCandyapplegreen - Jan 1, 2011 / Jen_rhymesw_Ten - Jan 1, 2011
|"Only sixty more meters! Come on guys!" - Commonapp-ECA <150words
5 - I personally prefer the first update (Post #5) however i think you need a stronger ending, other than that...
Undergraduatemariatateno - Dec 30, 2010 / mbanani - Jan 1, 2011
|Shared Paradise - Wake Forest essay
2 - WONDERFUL! it was really vivid. i think you really well demonstrated your thought process and what you cherish. you...
UndergraduateAnonymoussenior - Jan 1, 2011 / amjeezy - Jan 1, 2011
|"I play Classical music on the piano" - MIT - What do you do for the pleasure of it?
7 - The first one engaged me. I love classical music, and what you describe made me imagine u going into...
Undergraduatewchan - Jan 1, 2011 / mbanani - Jan 1, 2011
|"Modern Physics, sports, location" - Supplement , WHY Stanford.
7 - Hey have a look at his... kinda revised ure essay! A mixed feeling of tension and excitement is...
Undergraduatehg726 - Dec 31, 2010 / sidsaboo - Jan 1, 2011
|Carleton College- Short Answers to teacher/career/book questions
2 - I think you did a good job answering these questions. These answers give a snapshot of what kind of...
Undergraduateiamesthere - Jan 1, 2011 / marvi92 - Jan 1, 2011
|NYU Supplement- (Medical/Political curiosity, Melting pot of opportunities, DWJ)
UndergraduateReaper1Shi - Jan 1, 2011 / madcaodisease - Jan 1, 2011
|(My aunt took me to the hospital) - What attracts me to the study of engineering?
Undergraduatekrum93 - Dec 31, 2010 / sidsaboo - Jan 1, 2011
|Stanford: "History must never repeat itself" (intellectual vitality essay)
4 - It's really good. There's not much to add, if you add more words just to fill the word limit,...
Undergraduatejjenny9301 - Dec 31, 2010 / Echofoxz - Jan 1, 2011
|"if you had 10000$" - UVirginia Essay... engineering supplement
8 - hey krum93, yeah the affordability of the whole project got quite a few people i was showing this essay...
Undergraduatesidsaboo - Jan 1, 2011 / sidsaboo - Jan 1, 2011
|"my father wants so badly for me to succeed" - Short Common Application Essay
UndergraduateTumor - Dec 31, 2010 / jackie224 - Jan 1, 2011
|ookay okay, i was spitting some raps in my theory o knowledge class. W&M supplement
Undergraduateamjeezy - Jan 1, 2011 / Anonymoussenior - Jan 1, 2011
|Hunger occurs all over, volunteering -Wake Forest short essay
Undergraduatealexis brandon - Jan 1, 2011 / Anonymoussenior - Jan 1, 2011
|(spend money wisely) + (small village diversity) +(friend from school) NYU Supplement
Undergraduatethkern - Jan 1, 2011 / issallme5 - Jan 1, 2011
|"Computer Science program" - Bates College Supplement
2 - erm it's better if you can include something from the CS course which made you go for Bates. Tell...
UndergraduateOregon12 - Jan 1, 2011 / Pub91 - Jan 1, 2011
|"March to the Beat of your own drum" -Wake Forest short essay
4 - I think you are ready to send! sounds nice. you chose a topic not too conventional, but interpreted individually....
Undergraduatealexis brandon - Jan 1, 2011 / amjeezy - Jan 1, 2011
|"Jesus Christ's take on the purpose of religion" - NYU Supplement
8 - Cliche selection- excellent approach! since ur christian maybe you should mention that? like how you want to know the...
Undergraduateyeabuddi - Jan 1, 2011 / pretss - Jan 1, 2011
|MIT short answer (a busy life, full of activities)
Undergraduateysjking2009 - Jan 1, 2011 / Pub91 - Jan 1, 2011
|Brown - global community, practice makes perfect, a competitive gymnast
4 - Yeah, this language is not very engaging. I get lost and have to reread lines. Add some humor and...
Undergraduatelk0124 - Jan 1, 2011 / TheFreeMason11 - Jan 1, 2011
|Harvest time and teaching season, my summers, Princeton supplement
Undergraduatesina - Dec 31, 2010 / perplexity215 - Jan 1, 2011
|"To reduce the begging population in China" - What do you see yourself doing at UPenn
3 - "I fully apprehended that Asian's social norms are not easily understood during brief visits by tourists." Apprehended isn't the...
Undergraduatelollipops4all - Dec 31, 2010 / madcaodisease - Jan 1, 2011
|"My academic interests in engineering and my friend" - Lehigh Admissions
5 - Take your last sentence and put it in the beginning. Then, explain why you felt that "wow". Also,...
Undergraduateleslie09 - Dec 30, 2010 / jasen - Jan 1, 2011
|Volunteering: JHU - activities outside of class.
2 - Hmmm... Overall this is a well-written essay..you've covered all the points they have prompted, but I feel the ending...
Undergraduaterajsmooth23 - Jan 1, 2011 / hyebyekadal - Jan 1, 2011
|'Bouncing up and down on my tiptoes'; "Strength from weakness", Common App
Undergraduatesfw - Dec 31, 2010 / perplexity215 - Jan 1, 2011
|Diversity + academics that match my interests (biology) - Why Emory supplement
UndergraduateHero - Jan 1, 2011 / Hero - Jan 1, 2011
|"we put more of our lives in the hands of machines" - Stanford Intellectual Idea
3 - At first you say that we will probably reach the singularity in your lifetime, and then give evidence of...
Undergraduatejldugan123 - Dec 14, 2010 / jasen - Jan 1, 2011
|"How can we not care about American Indians?" - Common App Essay
Undergraduatejasen - Dec 14, 2010 / jasen - Jan 1, 2011
|My journey to Northwestern (Psychology and Law and Psychology and Health)
12 - I think it follows the prompt well. You give sufficient information that who you are comes across. I love...
Undergraduatealexis brandon - Dec 31, 2010 / lk0124 - Jan 1, 2011
|"I plan to pursue is biology and become a doctor" - Why Emory College essay
4 - Since my major is biology, I am particularly interested in the biology program offered by Science Experience Abroad in...
Undergraduatemaxyoo998 - Jan 1, 2011 / Hero - Jan 1, 2011
|"youth organization (SDCA) in Bangladesh" - Why Vassar?
NEW - Hey guys some quick help for this supplemental essay will be much appreciated! And do be harsh =) ...
UndergraduateNaseef - Jan 1, 2011 / — -
|ARGENTINA - CMC Leadership Essay
6 - Definitely try and put your personal motto at the end of the essay - or reinforce it. You want...
Undergraduatefc barca - Dec 29, 2010 / apservello - Jan 1, 2011
|"wanted to be an inventor" - Common App - My Childhood
Undergraduatembanani - Jan 1, 2011 / apservello - Jan 1, 2011
|"Eating Dishtowel Tacos" - Emerson Short Answer
2 - Hi, I don't see any grammatical errors anymore, since the person before me kindly corrected them. Just wanted to...
Undergraduateplaysthething - Jan 1, 2011 / ukkuma - Jan 1, 2011
|Archery, Swimming, Reading, building - Stuff you do for the pleasure of it - MIT
12 - Hey... for the first essay , i would go with the first 1... its beautfully written and even with...
Undergraduatembanani - Dec 27, 2010 / sidsaboo - Jan 1, 2011
|"perfect matches are hard to come by" - Why Vassar?
4 - On a cold Sunday visit to Vassar, freezing in Rocky, I could still feel that free;(delete semicolon) barefoot on...
Undergraduatenirvanaligh - Dec 28, 2010 / turntablespp - Jan 1, 2011
|"helping alienated people" - CommonApp - HARVARD , PRINCETON
4 - Perhaps you've seen striking pictures that may be depicted as outdated patrons of individual's public relations during Christmas seasons:...
Undergraduatechlrkd123 - Jan 1, 2011 / GroovyStar - Jan 1, 2011
|"a roommate who will never fail to do the best he can" - Babson essay
Undergraduatequocanh91 - Jan 1, 2011 / quocanh91 - Jan 1, 2011
|"Current-day medical practice" - Cornell Supplement
NEW - Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest...
Undergraduateyoyott - Jan 1, 2011 / — -
|"Drivers in Saudi Arabia" Stanford roommate- feedback
5 - your idea in the essay is lost, i'm not sure what you are talking about. are you talking about...
UndergraduateR1993 - Dec 31, 2010 / hasgc - Jan 1, 2011
|"My father took me out to play golf" (experience) - trouble ending my essay for GWU
NEW - The prompt asks how a experience, something you've tried, or a person you know has shaped your thinking. I...
UndergraduateUkeboy - Jan 1, 2011 / — -
|CMC Essay "Atticus Finch" Applying EDII
Undergraduatenamibest - Jan 1, 2011 / abatado - Jan 1, 2011
|Observing snails: Topic of your choice
NEW - Feel free to criticize my essay harshly :) The creature stirs ever so slowly in the soil. Feeling...
Undergraduatetodtngkswks - Jan 1, 2011 / — -
|DNA + Thai (roommate) + programs for avant-garde students - Stanford Supplement
2 - Surely our 'life's literature' is continuously being composed through our interactions with the world around us, but as roommates...
Undergraduatecaboard493 - Jan 1, 2011 / abatado - Jan 1, 2011
|there is no "short-cuts" in our life - Strong determination - MIT
Undergraduatechunf - Dec 30, 2010 / chunf - Jan 1, 2011
|My mom's lungs were about to get fried, Chemistry class (John Hopkins)
5 - I think it is well writen, but i think you should write in more details especially about the conference...
Undergraduateamjeezy - Jan 1, 2011 / chunf - Jan 1, 2011
|"the nation's first medical school" - academic, research paths
4 - There are a lot of incorrect word choices and ungrammatical phrases. I understand that English probably isn't your native...
Undergraduatefoly17 - Dec 31, 2010 / etaang - Jan 1, 2011
|Night Flying - Common Application Personal Essay.
3 - Well first off, I've been told that, considering the essay is supposed to be a personal statement, it's really...
Undergraduatemadcaodisease - Dec 31, 2010 / madcaodisease - Jan 1, 2011
|I was Suspended and spent a day in ISS: CommonApp
5 - i really enjoyed your essay, and i believe you should leave the last sentence. I realy dont have much...
Undergraduatenritya - Dec 31, 2010 / computerjunkie - Jan 1, 2011
|Unusual circumstance; when I had to bow three thousand times - harvard essay
2 - Frankly speaking, it was convenient; all I had to do was just to follow my family, from going to...
Undergraduateylee11 - Jan 1, 2011 / namibest - Jan 1, 2011
|Motivation - Common app essay: learning from a failure
2 - Your piece is decently written but the piano and learning from your mistakes are literally some of the most...
Undergraduateidive5 - Jan 1, 2011 / etaang - Jan 1, 2011
|"the true beginning of my education" - BROWN supplement
Undergraduaterose258 - Dec 26, 2010 / sumitmanu - Jan 1, 2011
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