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|Nepal is a lovely place to live in but can't provide a proper study environment - Canada Embassy SOP
7 - Rachana, I think there is no serious problem with the content of your essay. The flow of the ideas...
Undergraduateshova - May 11, 2016 / ichanpants89 - May 25, 2016
|What are your career goals and how do you expect your education at The Art Institute of Pittsburgh..
5 - I strongly believe that pursing my education at [...] create a portfolio to show that I got what it...
Undergraduaterachaelspelic - May 25, 2016 / 13williamsm - May 25, 2016
|Semester at Sea Essay - A Voyage of a Lifetime
3 - Hi Courtney, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, this website is aimed at providing...
Undergraduatecscardecchio - May 25, 2016 / justivy03 - May 25, 2016
|'Pursuing a degree in Physical Therapy was never my first choice' SOP for Applying to PT school
3 - Hi Kaitlyn, indeed, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family! Now, when it comes to your SOP, I must...
Undergraduatekaitlyng24 - May 19, 2016 / justivy03 - May 23, 2016
|YSEALI is an opportunity to learn, experience and bring value to all others.
3 - Hi Justivy 03, I just forgot that i needed to tell about my purpose. YSEALI like the Academic Fellow...
Undergraduatetranthanhnga - May 18, 2016 / tranthanhnga - May 18, 2016
|"I deserve to be here" - Appeal/Waitlist Personal Statement for UCs
3 - Appeal/Waitlist Personal Statement for UCs How should I make this better and shorten it to 500 words? Thanks!...
Undergraduatephbelu - May 14, 2016 / pahoehoe - May 15, 2016
|My mother is my model - she has had the greatest influence on my life
3 - Hi Trin, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, may you find this website helpful as well as useful to...
Undergraduatenhocthienbinh - May 13, 2016 / justivy03 - May 14, 2016
|UCSD CSE Transfer Waitlist // New unique facilities, attracted by growth and change.
3 - Hi Jonathan, I would to share my thoughts on your letter. - student,that's interested - in augmentedaugmenting reality...
Undergraduatejkiger - May 11, 2016 / justivy03 - May 11, 2016
|"Exploring my abilities" Transfer Waitlist Personal Statement for UC Davis
UndergraduateCawaLimon - Apr 24, 2016 / jkiger - May 11, 2016
|Temple transfer essay from a biology major
4 - You need to remember that there is no wrong or right in making a personal statement as long as...
UndergraduateAcritton - May 9, 2016 / ichanpants89 - May 10, 2016
|Assistance Writing a vice-presidential Nomination Essay for West Point?
5 - Dear Jeremy, It is such a pleasure to be working with you today. Reading your essay was moving....
Undergraduatejeremylumbab - May 5, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - May 8, 2016
|What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? - Personal Statement College Essay
6 - Hi Jeffrey, first of all, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF, we definitely appreciate your feedback...
UndergraduateJeffreyGuy - Apr 28, 2016 / justivy03 - Apr 30, 2016
|Help me to check my gramatically essays for AAS
NEW - 1. How did you choose your proposed course and institution?* I was chose course that related with my...
Undergraduateazalea13 - Apr 28, 2016 / — -
|I realize that my dream of becoming an astronaut is turning into a reality
2 - This is a beautifully constructed phrase; I think maybe you are a better writer than you think!! I...
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Apr 25, 2016 / chenghao - Apr 27, 2016
|"Overcoming Adversities" - My College Readmission Essay
Undergraduategreyfidelity - Apr 22, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Apr 25, 2016
|This is my final essay for my Introduction to Religion class. 'My spiritual journey with religion'
3 - I love the introduction in the essay. You begin by using the present tense. A great way to let...
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Apr 22, 2016 / wongda - Apr 25, 2016
|How will the proposed to your career?
Undergraduateluseveiogo - Apr 23, 2016 / luseveiogo - Apr 24, 2016
|'fascinated by medical science' - University of Sydney will uplift my standards
3 - Luse, I have read your essay and noticed that some of sentences need revision. I reckon that the flow...
Undergraduateluseveiogo - Apr 15, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 16, 2016
|LEADERSHIP APPLICATION; tutoring/classroom assistance and noon-time/spirit activities
2 - Connie, I have a question for you. Is this "What are some realistic projects that will make your school...
UndergraduateConnie31124 - Apr 9, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 9, 2016
|Biochemistry - UC Davis Waitlist; I have been instantly adapted to its community
4 - Tito, first impression of the first sentence is essential. Perhaps you can take a look from an opening sentence...
Undergraduatettitogo - Apr 7, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Apr 9, 2016
|Bowling sport - college admission! help correct my grammars / change words to better ones
Undergraduatekriscasso - Mar 6, 2016 / nelarizka79 - Apr 7, 2016
|"Short term," "Five years," "Ten years," and "Thirty years." Undergraduate Transfer Essay
4 - I am so excited about the great feedbacks, acs121, TJLuschen, EF_Carol, and Kimbong93! Thank you! I'm working on fixing...
Undergraduatekev510 - Apr 1, 2016 / kev510 - Apr 4, 2016
|College admissions essay about my most important achievements - competition and community service
4 - Hi Liltheman, I think you had the right idea in trying to help the reader capture an imagery,...
UndergraduateLiltheman - Mar 26, 2016 / kev510 - Apr 1, 2016
|'A4-sized white paper' - transfer - flow of the essay, grammar, word choices, and overall feeling
3 - Hi Kevin, Overall I liked your creativity and your writing was excellent, but it's not fitting for a...
Undergraduatekev510 - Mar 27, 2016 / EzraKoenigsDad5 - Apr 1, 2016
|To get enrolled in school - Personal statement for college admission
2 - Dear writer, I am really happy to read your essay. It is completely clear. But let me to give...
Undergraduateemanri88 - Mar 31, 2016 / Kimbong93 - Mar 31, 2016
|How will your education at the Art institute of Dallas will help you attain your career goals?
UndergraduateRali6 - Mar 29, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 30, 2016
|'the right place for passionate, yet undecided people like me'. This is my Why Tulane essay
Undergraduatejason19955 - Mar 25, 2016 / ainirere - Mar 26, 2016
|Why you decided to apply to the department/area of Sejong University to which you are applying?
7 - It seems okay, but I suggest you that include particular courses in Sejong Univ. I heard that they have...
Undergraduatehazeltrinh - Mar 21, 2016 / Feminist - Mar 24, 2016
|ADMISSION DECISION APPEAL FOR UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON.. to take further consideration
Undergraduatemeltinggsoull - Mar 22, 2016 / Yusri31 - Mar 23, 2016
|Physics, engineering and women. Describe your career goals and the level of their implementation
4 - Hi, Sara. Even though your essay is short, I get what you are trying to say. How about changing...
Undergraduatesarakhalaf - Mar 19, 2016 / Feminist - Mar 23, 2016
|COMMON APP TRANSFER SYRACUSE: I Dream of becoming a Unifying Communicator
3 - - Specifically, I specifically desire - becauseas I believe - towards our unification. - without...
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 20, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 21, 2016
|Following Nikola Tesla; Texas A&M Qatar Transfer Essay - Personal Statement - Mechanical Engineering
Undergraduatewaqametu - Mar 13, 2016 / EF_Kevin - Mar 17, 2016
|Two essays. My main achievement and My best team experience. Need your opinion!
3 - HI ... we all experience failures in our pursuit of goalsin pursuit our goals the second topic is...
Undergraduatelenovo_kz - Mar 15, 2016 / Desty22 - Mar 15, 2016
|ROCHESTER TRANSFER SUPPLEMENT: THE SKY WAS NEVER BLUE
2 - Hi Sol, there's no question that you have a good approach in the essay and in answering the prompt,...
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 14, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 15, 2016
|NYU Gallatin International Transfer Essays
5 - Hi Dubois, for the second prompt, what I noticed is that the essay is quiet compact, meaning, when essays...
UndergraduateDuboisWoods - Mar 12, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 15, 2016
|Tufts Undergrad Transfer Supplemental Essays (REAL Program for non-traditional students)
Undergraduatekev510 - Mar 13, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Mar 13, 2016
|COMMON APP TRANSFER: A Little Girl Taught Me How to Communicate
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Mar 5, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 8, 2016
|Spelman girls. What can I add to my admission essay to make it more interesting original and longer
2 - Hi Natasha, I have read your essay and I would like to share some insights. To address your concern,...
Undergraduatemart8871 - Mar 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 7, 2016
|GT transfer application essay-- what interest you about your field of study
Undergraduatexutong - Feb 26, 2016 / sn98 - Mar 4, 2016
|Description of my interests and background in science and mathematics (Columbia Univ. Sci. Program)
3 - It sounds good... I would elaborate more on why you want to pursue a career in computer engineering. Also,...
Undergraduateonly_gis - Mar 1, 2016 / sn98 - Mar 4, 2016
|Our family business (when you stop trying you'll fail) - incidents in life and their impact
Undergraduateyashj0001 - Mar 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
|The hardest of obstacles that bumped my road was starting a new life in a new country
3 - Hi Tran Thi, you need to explain how you overcome this situation, don't just talk about obstacle part, but...
Undergraduatetrth4t - Mar 2, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 4, 2016
|'I, as an individual, could make a difference'; GT-LEADERSHIP, PROGRESS AND SERVICE
4 - Hi Ivy, your both essays lack the same thing, the motivation behind making computers. Here, the prompt asked you...
Undergraduatexutong - Feb 27, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 4, 2016
|An essay for National University of Singapore application to study in psychology
UndergraduateWilsonSun - Mar 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
|How I see myself in next 10-years?
3 - Fitree, given the fact that English is not your mother tongue, this is a good essay, it has a...
Undergraduatefox_mx1291 - Mar 3, 2016 / justivy03 - Mar 4, 2016
|Why did you choose field of study Rice - Torn Between Two Essays
6 - Yea that is true, but there was also the "why are you transferring" essay, which goes into depth about...
Undergraduatecdan - Mar 3, 2016 / cdan - Mar 3, 2016
|"A life-changing Education" - How can I benefit from study at AUC?
Undergraduatesn98 - Feb 28, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Mar 2, 2016
|"What effect has design had on you?"-UT Austin Transfer essay
2 - Lol congratulations, I notice that in the prompt the verb affected is spelled wrong by those who wrote it...
Undergraduateemhill - Feb 28, 2016 / EF_Kevin - Mar 1, 2016
|My Commonapp Personal Statement - no stranger to hardship
2 - Hi Kangwoon, Firstly, mention the prompt please always with your essay. Now while reading your essay,it was good but...
UndergraduateBuffBuff - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Mar 1, 2016
|WELLESLEY 100 essay: A Hugely Ambitious Sisterhood
Undergraduateki182 - Mar 1, 2016 / ki182 - Mar 1, 2016
|Think Economics - help me with my personal statement
2 - In the whole essay I liked this part " the logical way of thinking in Economics is not guaranteed...
Undergraduatebenjaminxiao01 - Mar 1, 2016 / Mr pitbull - Mar 1, 2016
|Always something to improve in China. Transfer Commonapp personal essays.
2 - ---Without secure drinking water and other fundamental infrastructures---Without reliable drinking water and other fundamental infrastructures, --- the poor living...
Undergraduatetifflipc - Feb 28, 2016 / Rocky529440 - Mar 1, 2016
|Transfer from UH to UTAustin; Statement of purpose; Comp. Sci. Major
4 - Yes the prompt itself said related to your academics. So replace it with your profession. One line is enough...
Undergraduatejpark97 - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Feb 29, 2016
|Islamophobia is an important social issue. UT transfer topic E.
3 - Hello zeeshan! I loved the personal stories you shared and I think the middle of your essay is poetic-like....
Undergraduatehirohussain - Feb 27, 2016 / caro5ca - Feb 28, 2016
|Statement of Purpose for transferring to UIUC as an undergraduate student withless than 300 words
7 - I have rewritten my essay, and with another version which is written by a counselor. Would you please take...
UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - Feb 19, 2016 / Jo1nnyJiang - Feb 28, 2016
|Georgia Tech is leadership, progress and service - successfully demonstrated this motto it my life
2 - Hi, jhayea, I read your paragraph, and here are some suggestions: This one paragraph contains your working...
Undergraduatejhayea - Feb 27, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 27, 2016
|A 200 word limit essay on what I have done, am doing, and plan to do in regards to my degree choice.
Undergraduatequrfy - Feb 27, 2016 / qurfy - Feb 27, 2016
|'You are a female, do not bother going to college' SOP essay for transfering to UT
Undergraduatecaro5ca - Feb 22, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 27, 2016
|"A Sea Hawk Route to Success" - College Transfer Essay - Former Military
2 - Hi, Evan It is an impressive and vivid essay because of tow periods you described, experience in Marine...
UndergraduateEScott1313 - Feb 26, 2016 / eric41061 - Feb 26, 2016
|The Importance of Education - UT Prompt; Knowledge is profitable
4 - Dear Christopher, I really liked the topic of your essay. It is very true that our education system...
Undergraduatecb4011 - Feb 25, 2016 / Ethan M - Feb 26, 2016
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