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|Transfer from UH to UTAustin; Statement of purpose; Comp. Sci. Major
4 - Yes the prompt itself said related to your academics. So replace it with your profession. One line is enough...
Undergraduatejpark97 - Feb 28, 2016 / Ssakshijain - Feb 29, 2016
|Islamophobia is an important social issue. UT transfer topic E.
3 - Hello zeeshan! I loved the personal stories you shared and I think the middle of your essay is poetic-like....
Undergraduatehirohussain - Feb 27, 2016 / caro5ca - Feb 28, 2016
|Statement of Purpose for transferring to UIUC as an undergraduate student withless than 300 words
7 - I have rewritten my essay, and with another version which is written by a counselor. Would you please take...
UndergraduateJo1nnyJiang - Feb 19, 2016 / Jo1nnyJiang - Feb 28, 2016
|Georgia Tech is leadership, progress and service - successfully demonstrated this motto it my life
2 - Hi, jhayea, I read your paragraph, and here are some suggestions: This one paragraph contains your working...
Undergraduatejhayea - Feb 27, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 27, 2016
|A 200 word limit essay on what I have done, am doing, and plan to do in regards to my degree choice.
Undergraduatequrfy - Feb 27, 2016 / qurfy - Feb 27, 2016
|'You are a female, do not bother going to college' SOP essay for transfering to UT
Undergraduatecaro5ca - Feb 22, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 27, 2016
|"A Sea Hawk Route to Success" - College Transfer Essay - Former Military
2 - Hi, Evan It is an impressive and vivid essay because of tow periods you described, experience in Marine...
UndergraduateEScott1313 - Feb 26, 2016 / eric41061 - Feb 26, 2016
|The Importance of Education - UT Prompt; Knowledge is profitable
4 - Dear Christopher, I really liked the topic of your essay. It is very true that our education system...
Undergraduatecb4011 - Feb 25, 2016 / Ethan M - Feb 26, 2016
|Essay for Accelerated Nursing Program: describe your motivation or desire to become a nurse.
3 - hi keriyao I think your essay is quite good, however i did like to make a few suggestions. In...
Undergraduatekeriyao - Feb 25, 2016 / maapokua - Feb 26, 2016
|Self introduction essay for World friends Korea Coodinator
3 - Hi, bamba, Here come some suggestions: 1.background You say "That experience was really helpful to me, though...
Undergraduatebamba - Feb 25, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 25, 2016
|Common essay at Purdue Describe a problem you`ve solved or a problem you`d like to solve.
2 - Hi there! Welcome to Essay Forum. After reading your essay, I'm not quite sure that you have followed...
Undergraduateliancheng - Feb 25, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 25, 2016
|Transfer admission essay for Georgia Tech. I need help forming an excellent essay which I lack of.
19 - Juan, while I think you've done a remarkable job over all the iterations of your essay, you still need...
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Jan 28, 2016 / aikoashiya - Feb 25, 2016
|Statement of Intent for a Transfer Application - My Interest in Japan
2 - Hi, Grant, From your application, I know that you really want to transfer to major in areas about...
Undergraduateballstowall - Feb 24, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 24, 2016
|"As for my fate, I'll accept it whenever Zeus sends it." Main Transfer Essay - the reasons
3 - ... I'd never thought of my future.while I chose history as ... however, I didn't train (...) foreign language...
Undergraduatedongli0524 - Feb 21, 2016 / ADIE08 - Feb 24, 2016
|'KLEX Image Competition' Stanford - "elaborate on extracurricular, 150 words"
UndergraduateBrookyrailfan - Feb 23, 2016 / Brookyrailfan - Feb 24, 2016
|Lucky to have stumbled upon the thing that fuels my passion. UT Transfer Essay Statement of Purpose
2 - Dear HIROHUSSAIN, This essay was very impressive. I couldn't stop reading from beginning to end. I feel your...
Undergraduatehirohussain - Feb 23, 2016 / JuanSebastianR - Feb 23, 2016
|Common App general transfer essay review. DDL March 1st really need help
4 - Thank you very much for everyone's help! I edited it a bit. Does it look better? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When...
Undergraduatetcdxbg - Feb 21, 2016 / tcdxbg - Feb 23, 2016
|How Purdue will support you in terms of your program of study?
3 - It has many learning facultiesfacilities and perfect security measures, especially for students staying up late in the library.I'm not...
UndergraduateSebaser - Feb 23, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 23, 2016
|Descriptive writing : A outdoor festival in winter in a cold climate
UndergraduateSamuelsam123 - Feb 8, 2016 / Samuelsam123 - Feb 23, 2016
|What are the core skills and knowledge you hope to acquire by completing a degree in this major
4 - Well, nice passage. I agree with the message above, that you should make paragraphs more specific. And I...
Undergraduatejuancarlos - Feb 22, 2016 / Crystal812 - Feb 23, 2016
|What would you like to achieve through this program? ASCENT international exchange program
2 - You may wish to use a thesaurus to replace or reduce your usage of the following words and/or phrases...
Undergraduateneufii - Feb 22, 2016 / juancarlos - Feb 22, 2016
|Admissions essay to UW on cultural insensitivity. Is currently 490 words and needs to be 300 or less
2 - Hi Adil, after reading and understanding your essay, I must say, there is nothing wrong with you para phrasing...
Undergraduateadil2000 - Feb 21, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 22, 2016
|"Fear can be your worst enemy" - help lenghtening/editing essay. 200 more words.
Undergraduateadil2000 - Feb 21, 2016 / adil2000 - Feb 21, 2016
|How to write a short structured, autobiography - AppState Hayes Music School Essay
4 - in my opinion, it's better to introduce yourself first (i.e. My name is .... from ....) and i think...
Undergraduatemynormalface - Feb 10, 2016 / gilbertwidjojo - Feb 21, 2016
|In about 150 words, write about your important person (my mother)
3 - in my opinion, the opening would be better with "The most important person who........ From since I was...
Undergraduatepiece_of_bo - Feb 14, 2016 / gilbertwidjojo - Feb 21, 2016
|'sensitized to the climate and environment issues' - UIUC Transfer Essay - Motivation
2 - I don't think it's a strong start when you begin by mentioning the documentaries. Watching a documentary is...
Undergraduatewaqametu - Feb 20, 2016 / EF_Kevin - Feb 20, 2016
|TAMU Statement of Purpose Essay, Biochemisty Major. Not sure if prompt is answered correctly.
UndergraduateMansif13 - Feb 8, 2016 / Mansif13 - Feb 20, 2016
|'extenuating circumstances' - Statement of Purpose for Transferring to UT Austin as an UNDERGRADUATE
3 - @hiddengrace Wow thank you so much for your feedback Katheryn! I really appreciate it since I agree with you...
Undergraduatecaro5ca - Feb 19, 2016 / caro5ca - Feb 19, 2016
|Myself Introduction Essay, I am from Indonesia, I participated in several chemistry competitions
3 - Hello Gilbert, let me give some corrections on your essay. Here it goes. :) My name is Gilbert...
Undergraduategilbertwidjojo - Feb 18, 2016 / aniani - Feb 18, 2016
|'the Father of Modern Lahore' Transfer essay for Georgia Tech - Program of Study
3 - [I'll refer to the original essay instead of the Georgia Tech version] That first paragraph is an interesting...
Undergraduatewaqametu - Feb 17, 2016 / EF_Kevin - Feb 18, 2016
|QUEEN'S Supplementary ESSAY #1 - a contribution based on research about the program
Undergraduateluyurong - Feb 14, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 18, 2016
|Installation artist hoping to transfer to SAIC this fall- I really need a fresh pair of eyes!
2 - Giovanni, instead of discussing the Fibonacci Sequence at the start of your essay, why don't you just immediately discuss...
UndergraduateGiocee - Feb 16, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 16, 2016
|Expectations And Criterias; "How can you benefit from the education at AUC?"
UndergraduateRaynaila - Feb 15, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 15, 2016
|Explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had
3 - As the President of Student Council, my position promoted me communicate in the front of the classroom with my...
Undergraduateelizabethc - Feb 12, 2016 / luyurong - Feb 15, 2016
|Three magical wishes: free Palestine, owning a horse, visiting Venice in Italy
UndergraduateNabiha8885 - Feb 13, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 15, 2016
|Activity or employment opportunity / Queen's Commerce contribution / decision to persevere & to quit
6 - For what you've added for the third essay, I would describe your duties at the nursing home, and why...
Undergraduatekoalababy - Feb 13, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 14, 2016
|An experience that taught you about yourself or the world... UBC Personal Profile (Computer Science)
3 - Hi Kingsley! Welcome to EF! Definitely agreeing with Louisa once again. This essay isn't really centered around the...
UndergraduateNad720 - Feb 11, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 12, 2016
|Taiwan and the hidden talents. SoP- Applying for master program - Arts management, administration.
5 - Louisa, What you said is very pertinent, I just need someone like you, standing away to see how the...
Undergraduateeric41061 - Feb 11, 2016 / eric41061 - Feb 12, 2016
|Leadership, progress, and service during the past three years. Georgia Tech admission essay.
4 - Juan, when you are asked to represent 3 character traits in an essay, never, ever, make the mistake of...
UndergraduateJuanSebastianR - Feb 9, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 12, 2016
|What you would like to be for one day / Why Franklin & Marshall? F&M Supplements
5 - Calvin, both of your ideas would work well. However, I think that being a humanitarian aid worker would have...
Undergraduateleesanity7 - Feb 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 12, 2016
|Aetas people. Transfer Essay Common App Prompt: provide a statement that addresses your reasons..."
Undergraduatedaisylad - Feb 9, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 9, 2016
|'scene on a TV'. University of Florida - I'm super nervous for my status let me know what you think!
4 - I grew up in humble beginnings tobeginnings in a family of seven. Yet at the same time, (with...
UndergraduateGab - Jan 8, 2016 / ADIE08 - Feb 9, 2016
|To Learn and to Fix. UW-Seattle Transfer Personal Statement
3 - Felix, your essay is hard to review because we cannot refer to the list of prompt requirements as we...
Undergraduatefelixrioprabowo - Feb 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 7, 2016
|Describe qualifications / abilities and attributes. Application to the Kelley School of Business
2 - Abrar, you should vary the opening sentences of your paragraphs. You can't always say "I believe" because that causes...
Undergraduatelurkerotherwise - Feb 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 7, 2016
|"Renovated Habits". Low-GPA; Essay needed for admission; Need revision
4 - Corey, the essay has way too many redundancies. You keep going around in circles saying the same thing when...
Undergraduatecorey3236 - Feb 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 7, 2016
|The University of Waterloo is renowned for its incredible co-op program and courses. WHY Waterloo?
2 - Both of these were the reasons why I picked Waterloo. First and foremost (or maybe you can use...
Undergraduateabdulrsno1 - Feb 5, 2016 / fahmisadja - Feb 5, 2016
|"Growing up and Realizing what I want" - UW transfer personal statement
4 - Alexander, my apologies for thinking that the essay required the portion about your personal hardships and educational challenges as...
Undergraduatecookie808 - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
|Describe how you envision your two years in the Haas undergraduate program. Impact on peers.
2 - Melissa, you have a perfect start in response to the requirement of the prompt. However, you are too focused...
Undergraduatemelissatoorani - Jan 31, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 3, 2016
|"best careers for INFJ's" - Common App Transfer Essay: Personal Statement
6 - Bleh, that's what I get for being slow. Well, it's always good to include things like goals and plans....
Undergraduatehaleyaxelle - Feb 2, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 2, 2016
|QUEENS COMMERCE SUPP. ESSAY - Pick a job and describe impact/greatest learning outcome
UndergraduateChristinaS - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 2, 2016
|Pre-Medical Post Bacc Personal Statement- Why med school? Any critiques/input are welcome :)
2 - Taniya, you should expand upon the part about your volunteering for with Doctors Without Walls Santa Barbara Street Medicine....
Undergraduateucsbpremed - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 2, 2016
|I learned my strength is smiling as it can help me conquer challenges -UBC personal Profile
4 - Hey @hiddengrace, sorry for the late reply, I was busy finishing up my UBC application! Thank you so much...
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Feb 2, 2016
|One of the communities to which I belong is the community of tennis players both.
2 - Hi Nathan, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay and some corrections if necessary. -...
UndergraduateInterste11ar - Feb 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 1, 2016
|"When i learned compromise" (expert) - FASHION INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY ADMISSION ESSAY Fashion merch
3 - Hi @justivy03! i really appreciate this reply and i know the first part does not intersect well with the...
Undergraduatemalakessmat - Feb 1, 2016 / malakessmat - Feb 1, 2016
|Ohio State University - imagining 5-year-old myself - Essay for Honors Program
3 - -I often tell my mom that I looked exactly like a little swine at that time. Then momshe laughs...
Undergraduatenxst1316 - Feb 1, 2016 / Interste11ar - Feb 1, 2016
|I would continue one of my greatest passions - tennis (if forced to choose one of my activities)
2 - Nathan, your response is clear and provides the reviewer with an idea as to how tennis can help you...
UndergraduateInterste11ar - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 1, 2016
|Aspirations of serving my country. USNA ESSAY, I need as much help as I can get
2 - Hi Natalia, I would like to try and help out with your essay. Kindly find the corrections below; ...
Undergraduatenataliarivera98 - Jan 31, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 1, 2016
|UIUC - best fit my ambitions and fulfill my desire to learn the statistics field. Transfer Essay
2 - As data becomes an easier to obtain in today's digital age,... I think you missed a noun here, you...
UndergraduateEdwardW - Jan 31, 2016 / dynaranjani - Feb 1, 2016
|I am constantly improving and learning, and that is all that matters! UBC Personal Profile
3 - Thank you for your advice @Hiddengrace, when I was writing this, I thought about it too. I probably rewrite...
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016
|Keen interest in embracing a holistic and well-rounded development in my student life - extra info
2 - Andrew, here is something to keep in mind when writing an application essay. Explain it, don't list it. You...
Undergraduateshadowhunter94 - Jan 31, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 31, 2016
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