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|"Renovated Habits". Low-GPA; Essay needed for admission; Need revision
4 - Corey, the essay has way too many redundancies. You keep going around in circles saying the same thing when...
Undergraduatecorey3236 - Feb 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 7, 2016
|The University of Waterloo is renowned for its incredible co-op program and courses. WHY Waterloo?
2 - Both of these were the reasons why I picked Waterloo. First and foremost (or maybe you can use...
Undergraduateabdulrsno1 - Feb 5, 2016 / fahmisadja - Feb 5, 2016
|"Growing up and Realizing what I want" - UW transfer personal statement
4 - Alexander, my apologies for thinking that the essay required the portion about your personal hardships and educational challenges as...
Undergraduatecookie808 - Feb 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 4, 2016
|Describe how you envision your two years in the Haas undergraduate program. Impact on peers.
2 - Melissa, you have a perfect start in response to the requirement of the prompt. However, you are too focused...
Undergraduatemelissatoorani - Jan 31, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 3, 2016
|"best careers for INFJ's" - Common App Transfer Essay: Personal Statement
6 - Bleh, that's what I get for being slow. Well, it's always good to include things like goals and plans....
Undergraduatehaleyaxelle - Feb 2, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Feb 2, 2016
|QUEENS COMMERCE SUPP. ESSAY - Pick a job and describe impact/greatest learning outcome
UndergraduateChristinaS - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 2, 2016
|Pre-Medical Post Bacc Personal Statement- Why med school? Any critiques/input are welcome :)
2 - Taniya, you should expand upon the part about your volunteering for with Doctors Without Walls Santa Barbara Street Medicine....
Undergraduateucsbpremed - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 2, 2016
|I learned my strength is smiling as it can help me conquer challenges -UBC personal Profile
4 - Hey @hiddengrace, sorry for the late reply, I was busy finishing up my UBC application! Thank you so much...
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Feb 2, 2016
|One of the communities to which I belong is the community of tennis players both.
2 - Hi Nathan, I would like to share my thoughts on your essay and some corrections if necessary. -...
UndergraduateInterste11ar - Feb 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 1, 2016
|"When i learned compromise" (expert) - FASHION INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY ADMISSION ESSAY Fashion merch
3 - Hi @justivy03! i really appreciate this reply and i know the first part does not intersect well with the...
Undergraduatemalakessmat - Feb 1, 2016 / malakessmat - Feb 1, 2016
|Ohio State University - imagining 5-year-old myself - Essay for Honors Program
3 - -I often tell my mom that I looked exactly like a little swine at that time. Then momshe laughs...
Undergraduatenxst1316 - Feb 1, 2016 / Interste11ar - Feb 1, 2016
|I would continue one of my greatest passions - tennis (if forced to choose one of my activities)
2 - Nathan, your response is clear and provides the reviewer with an idea as to how tennis can help you...
UndergraduateInterste11ar - Feb 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Feb 1, 2016
|Aspirations of serving my country. USNA ESSAY, I need as much help as I can get
2 - Hi Natalia, I would like to try and help out with your essay. Kindly find the corrections below; ...
Undergraduatenataliarivera98 - Jan 31, 2016 / justivy03 - Feb 1, 2016
|UIUC - best fit my ambitions and fulfill my desire to learn the statistics field. Transfer Essay
2 - As data becomes an easier to obtain in today's digital age,... I think you missed a noun here, you...
UndergraduateEdwardW - Jan 31, 2016 / dynaranjani - Feb 1, 2016
|I am constantly improving and learning, and that is all that matters! UBC Personal Profile
3 - Thank you for your advice @Hiddengrace, when I was writing this, I thought about it too. I probably rewrite...
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016
|Keen interest in embracing a holistic and well-rounded development in my student life - extra info
2 - Andrew, here is something to keep in mind when writing an application essay. Explain it, don't list it. You...
Undergraduateshadowhunter94 - Jan 31, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 31, 2016
|Emerson Transfer Essay! If you were to write a story of your life, what would you title it and why?
5 - Hi haleyaxelle, nice writing and choice of words. However, I think your whole writing is a bit too negative....
Undergraduatehaleyaxelle - Jan 30, 2016 / Ethanchen1998 - Jan 31, 2016
|'Three-hour drawing contest'; Admission essay - What makes you a perfect candidate?
Undergraduatecinrb2312 - Jan 29, 2016 / cinrb2312 - Jan 31, 2016
|A holistic education is best for me - USC Transfer essay #1
Undergraduatepuykcyt - Jan 30, 2016 / cinrb2312 - Jan 31, 2016
|University of Toronto , One idea application
2 - Hmm. I'm just not sure what you're going for with this essay/ personal statement. It definitely is different and...
Undergraduateanandrajeev - Jan 30, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Jan 30, 2016
|"From Childhood" - Statement of Purpose - SCAD (BFA in Animation)
UndergraduatePN31297 - Jan 29, 2016 / Hiddengrace - Jan 30, 2016
|How can I benefit from education at AUC? The epitome of a successfully well-built arts university.
3 - Could you please to give space to divide the paragraph? It will obtain a clear vision for the reader....
Undergraduatemennaemad - Jan 29, 2016 / erin24 - Jan 29, 2016
|Psychology and sociology fields. How will studying in the American University in Cairo benefit me?
Undergraduatemennaemad - Jan 25, 2016 / mennaemad - Jan 29, 2016
|I was expected to work without sufficient training.
2 - Jenny, in order to better reflect the seeming hopelessness of your situation, you should better describe a specific incident...
UndergraduateJennyLovesApple - Jan 29, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|TAMK UAS - I want to become an Energy & Environmental
6 - The essay still lacks focus, direction and a clear message that would properly address the various prompt questions. Let...
Undergraduatentlinh - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|Tell about a time you dealt with a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation. -UBC Personal essay
UndergraduateWonka - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|"Showing Leadership Capabilities" Essay for Transfer App
7 - Thanks, that really helps with the work experience one. Don't worry about the last essay. I m working on...
Undergraduateiveytransfer - Jan 27, 2016 / iveytransfer - Jan 28, 2016
|School team - My UBC Personal Profile. Suggestions or corrections?
Undergraduatevineetreddy - Jan 28, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 28, 2016
|Pursuing political science to find equality - USC transfer supplemental essay
2 - Tiffany, there is no way that this response meets the prompt requirements. You have given the reviewer an overview...
Undergraduatepuykcyt - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|(the field of dietetics) Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
2 - Lai, you need to imagine more definite responses to the prompt questions. Specificity is important when you respond to...
Undergraduatekaihin - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|"When you get to college and still have as much interest as you do now, contact me". Transfer Essay
Undergraduateatrain111 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|U Mich Supplement:LSA Computer science and biology
UndergraduateDasam - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|My FIRST SALES EXPERIENCE - SMU ESSAY on the highlights of important achievements or contributions
Undergraduategiovanni_lucky - Jan 17, 2016 / giovanni_lucky - Jan 26, 2016
|As a leader, you need to work with your team and lead by example. Personal Profile
2 - Vincent, you are rehashing a response from a previous essay that was written for a different prompt. The evidence...
UndergraduateVincent123 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|Post Study Plan in Hospitality Industry - Les Roches Marbella
2 - Andrei, try to place an emphasis on your actual plans in the essay. it doesn't impress the reviewer to...
Undergraduatemad_swimmer - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|"Nothing in the world is worth having unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty". Naval Academy
3 - Stewart, I'm back for the rest of the essay. Kindly find the corrections and remarks below; The 3rd...
Undergraduatelandthief - Jan 25, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 25, 2016
|I learned that any little things that I do can have such impact to people around me - UBC Personal
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 24, 2016 / AndyLee64 - Jan 25, 2016
|Brief Personal Statement - In 250-300 words, tell us more about you and why you are considering VCU.
4 - Jared, when you find yourself staring at a brick wall in terms of the word limitation, you don't try...
Undergraduatejrod - Jan 22, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 23, 2016
|Nursing school admissions essay - why a career in the healthcare industry?
2 - Alissa, your essay is disjointed in terms of discussion. There are paragraphs that could relate to explaining why you...
Undergraduatealissa13g - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
|The needed to be depended on - Common App Application
UndergraduateBillyKurniawanH - Jan 18, 2016 / BillyKurniawanH - Jan 21, 2016
|'An extraordinary one' My Values and Beliefs - NTU Scholarship Essay
Undergraduateqwertyuiopa - Jan 20, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
|Physics, astronomy and human exploration - Interests in Aerospace Engineering
UndergraduateKawi50 - Jan 20, 2016 / Kawi50 - Jan 21, 2016
|'Procrastination was and always will be my greatest opponent'; Essay to be accepted in a university.
Undergraduatebeliebxx - Jan 19, 2016 / — -
|Purdue University versus my not only academic interests
5 - Lauren, this is an alright response to the prompt. However, I believe that your statement should refer to a...
UndergraduateLaurenEhr - Jan 19, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 19, 2016
|'Correlation between games and statistics' UIUC Statistics and Computer Science Transfer Essay
2 - Sam, truth be told, your reason for wishing to move from your community college to the university is not...
UndergraduateSam112 - Jan 19, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 19, 2016
|Being independent and making exclusively own decisions. Family impact essay for UCF.
UndergraduateAbneyj - Jan 18, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 18, 2016
|Syracuse - what influenced you to apply ? My uncle
2 - Kiara, while the influence of your uncle is something that should be seen as the spark that lit your...
Undergraduatekiki14 - Dec 26, 2013 / vangiespen - Jan 18, 2016
|"Computer Science in an art" - Cornell CAS Supplement
3 - Zabaan, at first glance, what I notice on your essay is how small the paragraphs are, it actually looks...
Undergraduatezabaan - Jan 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Cornell A&S Supplement-Psychology and Creative Writing
3 - Cassandra, I know your essay is long submitted at this time but I would like to give you pointers...
Undergraduatecmyork2016 - Jan 2, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Harvey Mudd supp, how background influences problems you want to solve: working w/ disabled kids
3 - Benivor, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. I think what's making your essay quiet longer than...
Undergraduatebenivor - Dec 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|University of Georgia Regular decisions application: Check out my college essays! :)
Undergraduatetifflavrisa - Jan 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Meredith- Discuss your strengths
3 - Thereis123, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay by sharing corrections that I think will be helpful...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Jan 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|"What is you favourite subject?" "Why are you interested in this program?" - UTSC Supplementary
4 - Amanda, here's the rest of the suggested modifications for your essay. 3. What experiences and skills might you...
Undergraduateamaaaaaaanda - Jan 17, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Macalester College application essay; add a value to the Mac community, academically and personally
Undergraduatejon4659 - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Describe the world you want to live in 2030 (150 words)
Undergraduatepresariohg - Jan 15, 2016 / EF_Carol - Jan 17, 2016
|My most important accomplishment in terms of past, present, and future self
2 - I can see how your past accomplishments and present self have made strides towards accomplishing accomplishing important acts during...
Undergraduatemaggienowlin - Jan 17, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 17, 2016
|A Berea College Aspirant From India, Still Figuring Out The Steps..........Friends, Can You Help?
5 - As I mentioned before Nil, you should be looking into the international scholarship grants available in your home country,...
UndergraduateAspiringNil - Jan 2, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 17, 2016
|Interests and focus - Essay prompt for Purdue
5 - Thanks a lot for your feedback! It's extremely encouraging :D Glad to know I finally wrote a decent essay...
Undergraduatelramad2 - Jan 8, 2016 / lramad2 - Jan 17, 2016
|'War, crime and society' - RYERSON UNDERGRADUATE JOURNALISM ESSAY
2 - - butand there areis always hidden - truths that does not seem - to be knowledgeknown to the public....
UndergraduateLifeless - Jan 16, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 16, 2016
|At a point in my life, everything was starting to fall apart. Correct flow of this common app essay?
4 - Hello, From my point of view, if you have room to discuss your current state and obstacles by...
UndergraduateNeelness - Jan 16, 2016 / brayan1996 - Jan 16, 2016
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