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|TAMK UAS - I want to become an Energy & Environmental
6 - The essay still lacks focus, direction and a clear message that would properly address the various prompt questions. Let...
Undergraduatentlinh - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|Tell about a time you dealt with a problem and/or an unfamiliar situation. -UBC Personal essay
UndergraduateWonka - Jan 28, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 29, 2016
|"Showing Leadership Capabilities" Essay for Transfer App
7 - Thanks, that really helps with the work experience one. Don't worry about the last essay. I m working on...
Undergraduateiveytransfer - Jan 27, 2016 / iveytransfer - Jan 28, 2016
|School team - My UBC Personal Profile. Suggestions or corrections?
Undergraduatevineetreddy - Jan 28, 2016 / Crystal812 - Jan 28, 2016
|Pursuing political science to find equality - USC transfer supplemental essay
2 - Tiffany, there is no way that this response meets the prompt requirements. You have given the reviewer an overview...
Undergraduatepuykcyt - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|(the field of dietetics) Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
2 - Lai, you need to imagine more definite responses to the prompt questions. Specificity is important when you respond to...
Undergraduatekaihin - Jan 27, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|"When you get to college and still have as much interest as you do now, contact me". Transfer Essay
Undergraduateatrain111 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|U Mich Supplement:LSA Computer science and biology
UndergraduateDasam - Jan 25, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2016
|My FIRST SALES EXPERIENCE - SMU ESSAY on the highlights of important achievements or contributions
Undergraduategiovanni_lucky - Jan 17, 2016 / giovanni_lucky - Jan 26, 2016
|As a leader, you need to work with your team and lead by example. Personal Profile
2 - Vincent, you are rehashing a response from a previous essay that was written for a different prompt. The evidence...
UndergraduateVincent123 - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|Post Study Plan in Hospitality Industry - Les Roches Marbella
2 - Andrei, try to place an emphasis on your actual plans in the essay. it doesn't impress the reviewer to...
Undergraduatemad_swimmer - Jan 26, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2016
|"Nothing in the world is worth having unless it means effort, pain, and difficulty". Naval Academy
3 - Stewart, I'm back for the rest of the essay. Kindly find the corrections and remarks below; The 3rd...
Undergraduatelandthief - Jan 25, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 25, 2016
|Brief Personal Statement - In 250-300 words, tell us more about you and why you are considering VCU.
10 - Thank you Hiddengrace for your suggestions and vangiespen for providing a great outline. I appreciate your help. I will...
Undergraduatejrod - Jan 22, 2016 / jrod - Jan 25, 2016
|I learned that any little things that I do can have such impact to people around me - UBC Personal
UndergraduateEthanchen1998 - Jan 24, 2016 / AndyLee64 - Jan 25, 2016
|Nursing school admissions essay - why a career in the healthcare industry?
2 - Alissa, your essay is disjointed in terms of discussion. There are paragraphs that could relate to explaining why you...
Undergraduatealissa13g - Jan 21, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 22, 2016
|The needed to be depended on - Common App Application
UndergraduateBillyKurniawanH - Jan 18, 2016 / BillyKurniawanH - Jan 21, 2016
|'An extraordinary one' My Values and Beliefs - NTU Scholarship Essay
Undergraduateqwertyuiopa - Jan 20, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 21, 2016
|Physics, astronomy and human exploration - Interests in Aerospace Engineering
UndergraduateKawi50 - Jan 20, 2016 / Kawi50 - Jan 21, 2016
|'Procrastination was and always will be my greatest opponent'; Essay to be accepted in a university.
Undergraduatebeliebxx - Jan 19, 2016 / — -
|Purdue University versus my not only academic interests
5 - Lauren, this is an alright response to the prompt. However, I believe that your statement should refer to a...
UndergraduateLaurenEhr - Jan 19, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 19, 2016
|'Correlation between games and statistics' UIUC Statistics and Computer Science Transfer Essay
2 - Sam, truth be told, your reason for wishing to move from your community college to the university is not...
UndergraduateSam112 - Jan 19, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 19, 2016
|Being independent and making exclusively own decisions. Family impact essay for UCF.
UndergraduateAbneyj - Jan 18, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 18, 2016
|Syracuse - what influenced you to apply ? My uncle
2 - Kiara, while the influence of your uncle is something that should be seen as the spark that lit your...
Undergraduatekiki14 - Dec 26, 2013 / vangiespen - Jan 18, 2016
|"Computer Science in an art" - Cornell CAS Supplement
3 - Zabaan, at first glance, what I notice on your essay is how small the paragraphs are, it actually looks...
Undergraduatezabaan - Jan 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Cornell A&S Supplement-Psychology and Creative Writing
3 - Cassandra, I know your essay is long submitted at this time but I would like to give you pointers...
Undergraduatecmyork2016 - Jan 2, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Harvey Mudd supp, how background influences problems you want to solve: working w/ disabled kids
3 - Benivor, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. I think what's making your essay quiet longer than...
Undergraduatebenivor - Dec 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|University of Georgia Regular decisions application: Check out my college essays! :)
Undergraduatetifflavrisa - Jan 1, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Meredith- Discuss your strengths
3 - Thereis123, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay by sharing corrections that I think will be helpful...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Jan 4, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|"What is you favourite subject?" "Why are you interested in this program?" - UTSC Supplementary
4 - Amanda, here's the rest of the suggested modifications for your essay. 3. What experiences and skills might you...
Undergraduateamaaaaaaanda - Jan 17, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Macalester College application essay; add a value to the Mac community, academically and personally
Undergraduatejon4659 - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 17, 2016
|Describe the world you want to live in 2030 (150 words)
Undergraduatepresariohg - Jan 15, 2016 / EF_Carol - Jan 17, 2016
|My most important accomplishment in terms of past, present, and future self
2 - I can see how your past accomplishments and present self have made strides towards accomplishing accomplishing important acts during...
Undergraduatemaggienowlin - Jan 17, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 17, 2016
|A Berea College Aspirant From India, Still Figuring Out The Steps..........Friends, Can You Help?
5 - As I mentioned before Nil, you should be looking into the international scholarship grants available in your home country,...
UndergraduateAspiringNil - Jan 2, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 17, 2016
|Interests and focus - Essay prompt for Purdue
5 - Thanks a lot for your feedback! It's extremely encouraging :D Glad to know I finally wrote a decent essay...
Undergraduatelramad2 - Jan 8, 2016 / lramad2 - Jan 17, 2016
|'War, crime and society' - RYERSON UNDERGRADUATE JOURNALISM ESSAY
2 - - butand there areis always hidden - truths that does not seem - to be knowledgeknown to the public....
UndergraduateLifeless - Jan 16, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 16, 2016
|At a point in my life, everything was starting to fall apart. Correct flow of this common app essay?
4 - Hello, From my point of view, if you have room to discuss your current state and obstacles by...
UndergraduateNeelness - Jan 16, 2016 / brayan1996 - Jan 16, 2016
|write a paragraph about some actions that should be taken to protect our oceans
3 - Your excitement and energy are actually leaping off the page. There is a sense that you wrote this paragraph...
Undergraduateemmastone0103 - Jan 16, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 16, 2016
|Written introduction to my narrated slideshow - hobbies, why school, key to success, learning style
2 - Hi Catherine. It's lovely to meet you. Your slide show introduction should work very well for you. It is...
Undergraduatecatherine13 - Jan 16, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 16, 2016
|Beatbox Music Making-Common App Main Essay (Background/identity/interest)
UndergraduateWandelstein - Dec 29, 2015 / shealeear8 - Jan 15, 2016
|Carleton: recorder<math<computer science<language acquisition<linguistics/cognitive science<climbing
6 - I didn't take a recorder class from the professor (it was solely a math camp), but we discussed it...
Undergraduatemurfel - Jan 13, 2016 / murfel - Jan 15, 2016
|Science vs art head vs heart---Main essay
UndergraduateDANDAN - Jan 15, 2016 / DANDAN - Jan 15, 2016
|I was assured that it would be one of the best options for me. Lafayette College Supplemental Essay
2 - Angel, your second paragraph is most powerful reason that you have chosen Lafayette University for your future education. So...
UndergraduateAngel532 - Jan 14, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2016
|Describe a problem, possibly related to your area of study, which you would like to solve.
UndergraduateAmanuelZelealem - Jan 14, 2016 / AmanuelZelealem - Jan 15, 2016
|Billionaire Boys Club - Common App Essay Prompt One HELP
5 - The first thing that stuck out to me was that at the beginning of the essay, three sentences in...
Undergraduatevric - Jan 13, 2016 / Maccdog - Jan 14, 2016
|EVERYONE NEEDS TO TRAVEL THE GLOBE
2 - Kat, let's just say that you were ble to more than deliver on the prompt requirements. The long essay...
Undergraduatekitkat - Jan 13, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 14, 2016
|Virginia Tech has many attributes any student would desire in a school. Reasons to become a Hokie
2 - Kira, your statement and reasons do not stand out in your response. It is a bit difficult to pick...
Undergraduatekswidz - Jan 13, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 13, 2016
|Do we most value the things that are difficult to attain?
2 - Nour, while you present a good thesis statement for the essay, you did not really provide an overview of...
Undergraduatenoureldin55 - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 13, 2016
|Short Franklin and Marshall sups: Why F&M/Who would I want to be in a day?
Undergraduatezoechan132 - Jan 11, 2016 / zoechan132 - Jan 12, 2016
|Demonstrating leadership, teamwork, initiative, and commitment. IVEY application
2 - I LIKE THAT YOU DEMONSTRATED HOW YOU EXPLAINED THE ACTIVITIES BUT YOU SHOULD ALSO EXPLAIN HOW YOU APPLIED THOSE...
Undergraduatejoshuapinto - Jan 12, 2016 / covenant1992 - Jan 12, 2016
|"Film? Why do you want to study that?" How did I changed my interest to liberal art
4 - I think you can best use this essay for the "background" prompt. The problem, is that you did not...
Undergraduateechoo - Jan 12, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|Trying to transfer to UT Austin and I am starting to work on my SOP essay
4 - Remember the story of your friend that you used at the start of the essay? Edit it for content,...
Undergraduateash12353 - Jan 12, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|"Gold, Garnet and Gray" - sharing my story for college application
3 - Cameron, the first part of your essay is really informative. I came to find that I got to know...
UndergraduateCamReLind - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|'I am very cosmopolitan and maximalist person' - Personal statement for Information Technology
3 - Iveta, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - thinking seriously about my future plans ,...
Undergraduateiveeeta - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|How to show my leadership and initiative for IVEY application?
2 - Dian, to address your doubt on whether to write the name of the institution or not, I say you...
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Proud "Hoya Saxa" slogan. Why Georgetown? -----Computer science and more
6 - Jize, I proof read your essay and with the enhancement done, I believe your essay is better now and...
Undergraduateanfernee - Jan 9, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Influential Book- honors college essay
2 - Loren, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - The novel has influenced me not because...
UndergraduateLauren56 - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|WHY I BECAME VEGAN: to be healthy, save lives, and save the planet
2 - Kat, I read and tried to understand your argument in this particular belief and honestly, you did great in...
Undergraduatekitkat - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Question about demonstrating leadership, initiative, breadth, achievement, teamwork, and commitment
3 - Hi Josh, below are my final remarks for your essay. -I had the opportunity of touringvisiting Italy, -...
Undergraduatejoshpinto - Jan 10, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|"Commitment and Breadth" - Question about how to demonstrate your leadership along with commitment
6 - Dian, bringing your essay down to its target word count may seem such a daunting task but it should...
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|How did I changed my interest to a liberal art.
2 - Cindy, you have to provide the main application prompt along with the essay so that we can analyze the...
Undergraduateechhoo - Jan 10, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 10, 2016
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