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|How can I better explain my extenuating circumstances for CommonApp?
2 - Michael, I can understand how confusing it must have been for you in the IB school system. I am...
Undergraduatemivy111 - Jan 10, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 10, 2016
|Weltschmerz: Or, How I Came to cherish reality above the ideal.
UndergraduateAshenEidolon - Jan 10, 2016 / AshenEidolon - Jan 10, 2016
|After scrutinizing abundant number of colleges all over United States, I came up with Virginia Tech
4 - Hi there, let me attempt to comment on your essay. I didn't find any grammatical error on your...
UndergraduateScarecrow - Jan 10, 2016 / fahmisadja - Jan 10, 2016
|My sister is an avid Hokie. Why I believe the Virginia Tech is the school for me too?
Undergraduatejsomegirl - Jan 9, 2016 / jsomegirl - Jan 9, 2016
|'small, exciting, quiet and very family-like environment' - Lafayette college ESSAY.
3 - I think you should rewrite this essay and really seek to show them how Lafayette is a good choice...
Undergraduatekaylieleee - Jan 9, 2016 / johnjr121 - Jan 9, 2016
|Demonstrate TEAMWORK and LEADERSHIP in 500 words. University supplementary due soon
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 8, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 9, 2016
|Lessons of equality and acceptance. A memorable experience in childhood and its effect on my life
2 - Sacheta, after reading your essay, I must say that you have a well written essay. You were able to...
Undergraduatesssanadi - Jan 8, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 9, 2016
|Meeting my grandma for the first time creative short description
2 - Flora, the essay can use a more descriptive opening scene. You need to get into the description of the...
Undergraduateflorab - Jan 9, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 9, 2016
|Edit my Common Application Essay? (Transfer Student) (International)
2 - Hello kna2 :) Founding a game studio and managing members wasWERE not an easy process, I had to...
Undergraduatekna2 - Jan 7, 2016 / pertiwi02 - Jan 7, 2016
|Trying to understand phenomena and some "why's" behind them - admission into Computer Science
Undergraduatecoolmac - Jan 4, 2016 / coolmac - Jan 7, 2016
|Tell us about Spiders. University of Richmond Supplement.
3 - How does this relate to the topic "Tell us about spiders"? Your essay is a little bit off topic....
Undergraduatedakey96 - Jan 5, 2016 / profes - Jan 7, 2016
|This is my compulsory essay for Carey Business school about being a leader and inspiring others
NEW - Compulsory Essay: Please respond to the following question: Business leaders have the ability to create opportunities, build products and...
UndergraduateJeffZheng - Jan 7, 2016 / — -
|Why Yale? The academic resources at Yale far surpass the resources available at Vanderbilt.
6 - Don't fixate your discussion on the weakness of Vanderbilt. Keep in mind that these are both IVY league schools...
Undergraduatedundunyang - Jan 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 6, 2016
|Moving from one country to another is a life changing experience
11 - ... to experience many new aspects of life,; however, moving from one country ... Many people immigrate to haveOBTAIN...
Undergraduateehsan2888 - Nov 14, 2015 / andika06 - Jan 6, 2016
|My current college does not meet desired expectations. So why I want attend Virginia Tech?
2 - Ibrahim, I would like to share my remarks and hopefully enhance the grammar of the essay. - I...
Undergraduateheadduty - Jan 6, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 6, 2016
|Are my Waterloo AIF essays all over the place? Any criticism is welcome.
Undergraduatecatmir - Jan 6, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 6, 2016
|UPenn circumscribes a totality of backgrounds and experiences, ideologies, theories and perspectives
5 - Just a quick note, in my campus visit, and other small talks, I learned that University of Pennsylvania prefers...
Undergraduatedakey96 - Dec 31, 2015 / Celoise - Jan 5, 2016
|Transfer Essay; searching for a smile and sharing it around - Smile is important to me
3 - I tooALSO have to search for ... Though once found IN THE PARTICULAR TIME, I hope it breaks through...
UndergraduateKM1113 - Jan 5, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 5, 2016
|Describing an issue related to the college where I will study and stating my own opinion
2 - Ainur, before we can help you improve this essay, you first have to provide us with a copy of...
Undergraduateainuraulia - Jan 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|How did you become interested in Knox and why Knox-supplement essay
2 - Amiicho, I am interested to read the last paragraph that you did not post in the essay. The reason...
Undergraduateamiicho - Jan 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|My Brother and I along the Poolside - How that has Shaped Me
5 - Jeffrey, in truth the essay doesn't sound exceptional at this point. However, it might develop into an interesting read...
UndergraduateJeffreyGuy - Jan 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|My current interests - I am applying to Johns Hopkins and need help with my entrance essay!
3 - Michael, you need to revise the content of your essay top discuss one of each topic as indicated in...
Undergraduatemaster111111 - Jan 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|Impressed by the G.Tech's focus on, enthusiasm for and dedication to advanced technological research
3 - Louisa, thanks a lot for your great revision! The revised essay is much better and more succinct than my...
Undergraduatepanyuchong - Jan 4, 2016 / panyuchong - Jan 5, 2016
|Swarthmore supplement - Multidisciplinary Physics
3 - As a recent graduate of Swarthmore, I would highly discourage you from taking the above advice regarding removing the...
Undergraduateapetroski - Dec 30, 2015 / Swat2015 - Jan 4, 2016
|The moment I laid eyes on my surroundings in Bangladesh, it sparked something inside me. SOP
7 - As reviewer, I would immediately be drawn in by your discussion of the way that the infrastructure in the...
UndergraduateSpoons72 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|'I saw a future for me at Boston University' - College of Communications - Why BU?
2 - Kerry, consider removing the earlier part of your statement in order to make the tour sound more natuarl in...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Jan 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|What excites you about Notre Dame - I need your opinions about my application supplement essay
UndergraduateAbdelrahman - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|I need help with Stanford Essay What matters most to you? - Democracy
4 - Ahmad, this is not a bad revision of the essay. It just need to sound more academic because there...
Undergraduateamimahmoud - Jan 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|Intellectual vitality. Does the core of the essay reflect what Stanford is looking for?
UndergraduateAppleJelly - Jan 3, 2016 / kerry2654 - Jan 3, 2016
|Dan Ariely's book "Predictably Irrational" - UPenn 'interests' essay for college of arts and science
7 - okay.. vangiespen looking forward to your redrafted essay, i really appriacitate the time you have spared for reviewing my...
Undergraduatesanchit0709 - Jan 2, 2016 / sanchit0709 - Jan 3, 2016
|'volunteering to distribute christmas gifts' - what will you contribute essay
8 - Lydia, avoid redundancies in your first few lines. The following sentences mean the same thing: Economics has been...
Undergraduatecarine - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|'FOCUS' program - Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you?
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Jan 3, 2016 / CollegeMe - Jan 3, 2016
|Caltech studens have quirky sense of humor - technology maniac!
3 - thank you for the suggestion!! I was also thinking that the response is too dull. I will think of...
Undergraduateshreygupta - Jan 3, 2016 / shreygupta - Jan 3, 2016
|Stanford Supplement - 7 short answers. Advice/Corrections
2 - Yasmin, in order to improve your statement response within fifty words you need to choose only the strongest response...
Undergraduatehopeful4 - Jan 2, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|Cornell ILR Writing Supplement opinions (eh, I tried)
2 - Kevin, have you already submitted this statement of purpose? If you have, i wish you hadn't before submitting it...
Undergraduatemullane98 - Jan 2, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2016
|Barnard College supplement questions
Undergraduateaml - Jan 1, 2016 / aml - Jan 2, 2016
|'to have our voices heard' - Brown supplement about existing within a community or group
5 - Thank you very much for your comments and feedback, I will continue to work on talking about why model...
Undergraduateeber2016 - Dec 28, 2015 / eber2016 - Jan 2, 2016
|Indian person born and brought up in Bahrain. University of Chicago seems to be THE University
3 - Thanks for the insightful feedback. Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do about the errors now, as I have...
UndergraduateTheDarkKnight12 - Jan 1, 2016 / TheDarkKnight12 - Jan 2, 2016
|NORTHWESTERN SUPPLEMENT--McCormick Integrated Degree, Design for America
3 - Erin, I agree with Kevin in the sense that the first paragraph that you wrote does not exactly instill...
Undergraduateedoodles - Jan 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2016
|"Someday, I may not be able to see anymore" - suggestions for Common App Essay Prompt #5
5 - Hi Henry, the essay you wrote is a very interesting informal transition to adulthood. You have managed to relay...
Undergraduatehcueva10 - Jan 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2016
|Brown University Undergrad. Short Essays
2 - They're all good; I didn't catch any grammatical mistakes. My only criticism would be that your 3rd and 4th...
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 31, 2015 / aml - Jan 1, 2016
|My dream of becoming a corporate lawyer. Columbia - Why this major personal statement?
4 - Thank you all for your help, I deeply appreciate it. @mrf18, I understand what you meant by changing the...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Jan 1, 2016 / thereis123 - Jan 1, 2016
|Every year on vacation, I tutor 2 or 3 students - this is one of my extracurricular activity
3 - I think you do an adequate job answering the question. You elaborate your reasons as to why you choose...
Undergraduatebome1130 - Jan 1, 2016 / mrf18 - Jan 1, 2016
|"Why Tufts?" - Why not? Diversity, campus, internships
6 - Mesut, focus your essay. You have a host of various essay prompts existing in this one that it makes...
Undergraduatemstgs1023 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 1, 2016
|'mazes of monitors, wires, and other computer paraphernalia' - Why did I choose my major?
3 - Adebisi, while your essay provides the reviewer with an interesting backgrounder regarding your interest, your interest in computers doesn't...
Undergraduatebisi766 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 1, 2016
|'I always wanted to be someone else' - WHY NEW YORK UNIVERSITY (ABU DHABI/SHANGHAI)
2 - Samuel, your essay rambles on for so long without offering any solid reason for your choice if NYU either...
Undergraduatescrappyhouver - Jan 1, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 1, 2016
|A bright student and expectations. Common App Essay.
Undergraduatecrystalassassin - Jan 1, 2016 / crystalassassin - Jan 1, 2016
|Columbia Engineering Essay: Jazz band was the last class I expected to use mathematics...
7 - Horomu, I honestly do not find your conclusion "tacked on". There is nothing forcing through about it from the...
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 1, 2016
|We would like to know more about your interest in NYU.
4 - You are opting to attend a branch of NYU outside of the United States. That makes your interest in...
UndergraduateMhope - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 1, 2016
|The University of Michigan fits every criteria for me in terms of being in the college
Undergraduateabarrie015 - Dec 31, 2015 / Ssakshijain - Dec 31, 2015
|I hopped on the plane for the first time in my life. Common application supplement
2 - I hopped on thea plane for the first time in my life. I felt uncomfortable, anxious, and nervous.(This sentence...
UndergraduateHkmkessays - Dec 31, 2015 / smunozas23 - Dec 31, 2015
|Public relations in the music industry, entertainment leaders, work experience - Why Syracuse essay
11 - Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University? (250 words) As an aspiring entertainment publicist, I...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 23, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 31, 2015
|Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you.
2 - Hi Kyla Here are my suggestions. Hope this helps ) amazing yet suck-ish. Such-ish (I don't know if...
Undergraduatekylasummer - Dec 30, 2015 / Ssakshijain - Dec 31, 2015
|My background has shaped me to become the person I am today. Common App Essay
2 - I think there is many unnecessary words in this paragraph and you can omit half of it. Moreover,...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Dec 31, 2015 / hypersis - Dec 31, 2015
|Picking oranges - Common App Essay (transition from childhood to adulthood) HELP
Undergraduateaml - Dec 30, 2015 / aml - Dec 31, 2015
|Columbia Supplement - Which activity are you most proud of?
4 - havechange to has you still volunteer at the community school, I'm assuming? I would also just include a short...
Undergraduateyolomaster98 - Dec 29, 2015 / thereis123 - Dec 31, 2015
|WITHOUT BORDERS Common App Prompt 2 -Failure Friday! in dire need
2 - I think the first line should be merged with the second paragraph since they're discussing the same thing.I also...
Undergraduatehapij - Dec 30, 2015 / Kobby Boateng - Dec 31, 2015
|Common App Essay: Special Interest- 'Wide eyes and Dropped Chins'
8 - It sounds great Olu. I do believe that if you put the different pieces of the essay together, you...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|3 days long international mathematical event - essay about my extracurricular activities/ experience
4 - I was frozen. The sound of the clock was echoing through my mind. Tic... Toc... Our only chance at...
Undergraduatemilan1 - Dec 30, 2015 / Kih - Dec 31, 2015
|Columbia Supplements - What activity are you most proud of? Why Columbia? Why major - art history?
3 - Thanks for your feedback. Here's an edited version: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia...
Undergraduatefunny - Dec 29, 2015 / funny - Dec 31, 2015
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