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|'War, crime and society' - RYERSON UNDERGRADUATE JOURNALISM ESSAY
2 - - butand there areis always hidden - truths that does not seem - to be knowledgeknown to the public....
UndergraduateLifeless - Jan 16, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 16, 2016
|At a point in my life, everything was starting to fall apart. Correct flow of this common app essay?
4 - Hello, From my point of view, if you have room to discuss your current state and obstacles by...
UndergraduateNeelness - Jan 16, 2016 / brayan1996 - Jan 16, 2016
|write a paragraph about some actions that should be taken to protect our oceans
3 - Your excitement and energy are actually leaping off the page. There is a sense that you wrote this paragraph...
Undergraduateemmastone0103 - Jan 16, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 16, 2016
|Written introduction to my narrated slideshow - hobbies, why school, key to success, learning style
2 - Hi Catherine. It's lovely to meet you. Your slide show introduction should work very well for you. It is...
Undergraduatecatherine13 - Jan 16, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 16, 2016
|Beatbox Music Making-Common App Main Essay (Background/identity/interest)
UndergraduateWandelstein - Dec 29, 2015 / shealeear8 - Jan 15, 2016
|Science vs art head vs heart---Main essay
UndergraduateDANDAN - Jan 15, 2016 / DANDAN - Jan 15, 2016
|I was assured that it would be one of the best options for me. Lafayette College Supplemental Essay
2 - Angel, your second paragraph is most powerful reason that you have chosen Lafayette University for your future education. So...
UndergraduateAngel532 - Jan 14, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2016
|Describe a problem, possibly related to your area of study, which you would like to solve.
UndergraduateAmanuelZelealem - Jan 14, 2016 / AmanuelZelealem - Jan 15, 2016
|Billionaire Boys Club - Common App Essay Prompt One HELP
5 - The first thing that stuck out to me was that at the beginning of the essay, three sentences in...
Undergraduatevric - Jan 13, 2016 / Maccdog - Jan 14, 2016
|Carleton: recorder<math<computer science<language acquisition<linguistics/cognitive science<climbing
3 - Natasha, the first paragraph is quite strong. You should however, further develop the last few sentences relating to your...
Undergraduatemurfel - Jan 13, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 14, 2016
|EVERYONE NEEDS TO TRAVEL THE GLOBE
2 - Kat, let's just say that you were ble to more than deliver on the prompt requirements. The long essay...
Undergraduatekitkat - Jan 13, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 14, 2016
|Virginia Tech has many attributes any student would desire in a school. Reasons to become a Hokie
2 - Kira, your statement and reasons do not stand out in your response. It is a bit difficult to pick...
Undergraduatekswidz - Jan 13, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 13, 2016
|Do we most value the things that are difficult to attain?
2 - Nour, while you present a good thesis statement for the essay, you did not really provide an overview of...
Undergraduatenoureldin55 - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 13, 2016
|Short Franklin and Marshall sups: Why F&M/Who would I want to be in a day?
Undergraduatezoechan132 - Jan 11, 2016 / zoechan132 - Jan 12, 2016
|Demonstrating leadership, teamwork, initiative, and commitment. IVEY application
2 - I LIKE THAT YOU DEMONSTRATED HOW YOU EXPLAINED THE ACTIVITIES BUT YOU SHOULD ALSO EXPLAIN HOW YOU APPLIED THOSE...
Undergraduatejoshuapinto - Jan 12, 2016 / covenant1992 - Jan 12, 2016
|"Film? Why do you want to study that?" How did I changed my interest to liberal art
4 - I think you can best use this essay for the "background" prompt. The problem, is that you did not...
Undergraduateechoo - Jan 12, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|Trying to transfer to UT Austin and I am starting to work on my SOP essay
4 - Remember the story of your friend that you used at the start of the essay? Edit it for content,...
Undergraduateash12353 - Jan 12, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|"Gold, Garnet and Gray" - sharing my story for college application
3 - Cameron, the first part of your essay is really informative. I came to find that I got to know...
UndergraduateCamReLind - Jan 11, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 12, 2016
|'I am very cosmopolitan and maximalist person' - Personal statement for Information Technology
3 - Iveta, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - thinking seriously about my future plans ,...
Undergraduateiveeeta - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|How to show my leadership and initiative for IVEY application?
2 - Dian, to address your doubt on whether to write the name of the institution or not, I say you...
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Proud "Hoya Saxa" slogan. Why Georgetown? -----Computer science and more
6 - Jize, I proof read your essay and with the enhancement done, I believe your essay is better now and...
Undergraduateanfernee - Jan 9, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Influential Book- honors college essay
2 - Loren, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - The novel has influenced me not because...
UndergraduateLauren56 - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|WHY I BECAME VEGAN: to be healthy, save lives, and save the planet
2 - Kat, I read and tried to understand your argument in this particular belief and honestly, you did great in...
Undergraduatekitkat - Jan 11, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|Question about demonstrating leadership, initiative, breadth, achievement, teamwork, and commitment
3 - Hi Josh, below are my final remarks for your essay. -I had the opportunity of touringvisiting Italy, -...
Undergraduatejoshpinto - Jan 10, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|"Commitment and Breadth" - Question about how to demonstrate your leadership along with commitment
6 - Dian, bringing your essay down to its target word count may seem such a daunting task but it should...
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 11, 2016
|How did I changed my interest to a liberal art.
2 - Cindy, you have to provide the main application prompt along with the essay so that we can analyze the...
Undergraduateechhoo - Jan 10, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 10, 2016
|How can I better explain my extenuating circumstances for CommonApp?
2 - Michael, I can understand how confusing it must have been for you in the IB school system. I am...
Undergraduatemivy111 - Jan 10, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 10, 2016
|Weltschmerz: Or, How I Came to cherish reality above the ideal.
UndergraduateAshenEidolon - Jan 10, 2016 / AshenEidolon - Jan 10, 2016
|After scrutinizing abundant number of colleges all over United States, I came up with Virginia Tech
4 - Hi there, let me attempt to comment on your essay. I didn't find any grammatical error on your...
UndergraduateScarecrow - Jan 10, 2016 / fahmisadja - Jan 10, 2016
|My sister is an avid Hokie. Why I believe the Virginia Tech is the school for me too?
Undergraduatejsomegirl - Jan 9, 2016 / jsomegirl - Jan 9, 2016
|'small, exciting, quiet and very family-like environment' - Lafayette college ESSAY.
3 - I think you should rewrite this essay and really seek to show them how Lafayette is a good choice...
Undergraduatekaylieleee - Jan 9, 2016 / johnjr121 - Jan 9, 2016
|Demonstrate TEAMWORK and LEADERSHIP in 500 words. University supplementary due soon
Undergraduatesgsg9 - Jan 8, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 9, 2016
|Lessons of equality and acceptance. A memorable experience in childhood and its effect on my life
2 - Sacheta, after reading your essay, I must say that you have a well written essay. You were able to...
Undergraduatesssanadi - Jan 8, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 9, 2016
|Meeting my grandma for the first time creative short description
2 - Flora, the essay can use a more descriptive opening scene. You need to get into the description of the...
Undergraduateflorab - Jan 9, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 9, 2016
|Edit my Common Application Essay? (Transfer Student) (International)
2 - Hello kna2 :) Founding a game studio and managing members wasWERE not an easy process, I had to...
Undergraduatekna2 - Jan 7, 2016 / pertiwi02 - Jan 7, 2016
|Trying to understand phenomena and some "why's" behind them - admission into Computer Science
Undergraduatecoolmac - Jan 4, 2016 / coolmac - Jan 7, 2016
|Tell us about Spiders. University of Richmond Supplement.
3 - How does this relate to the topic "Tell us about spiders"? Your essay is a little bit off topic....
Undergraduatedakey96 - Jan 5, 2016 / profes - Jan 7, 2016
|This is my compulsory essay for Carey Business school about being a leader and inspiring others
NEW - Compulsory Essay: Please respond to the following question: Business leaders have the ability to create opportunities, build products and...
UndergraduateJeffZheng - Jan 7, 2016 / — -
|Why Yale? The academic resources at Yale far surpass the resources available at Vanderbilt.
6 - Don't fixate your discussion on the weakness of Vanderbilt. Keep in mind that these are both IVY league schools...
Undergraduatedundunyang - Jan 6, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 6, 2016
|Moving from one country to another is a life changing experience
11 - ... to experience many new aspects of life,; however, moving from one country ... Many people immigrate to haveOBTAIN...
Undergraduateehsan2888 - Nov 14, 2015 / andika06 - Jan 6, 2016
|My current college does not meet desired expectations. So why I want attend Virginia Tech?
2 - Ibrahim, I would like to share my remarks and hopefully enhance the grammar of the essay. - I...
Undergraduateheadduty - Jan 6, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 6, 2016
|Are my Waterloo AIF essays all over the place? Any criticism is welcome.
Undergraduatecatmir - Jan 6, 2016 / justivy03 - Jan 6, 2016
|UPenn circumscribes a totality of backgrounds and experiences, ideologies, theories and perspectives
5 - Just a quick note, in my campus visit, and other small talks, I learned that University of Pennsylvania prefers...
Undergraduatedakey96 - Dec 31, 2015 / Celoise - Jan 5, 2016
|Transfer Essay; searching for a smile and sharing it around - Smile is important to me
3 - I tooALSO have to search for ... Though once found IN THE PARTICULAR TIME, I hope it breaks through...
UndergraduateKM1113 - Jan 5, 2016 / ilankelo21 - Jan 5, 2016
|Describing an issue related to the college where I will study and stating my own opinion
2 - Ainur, before we can help you improve this essay, you first have to provide us with a copy of...
Undergraduateainuraulia - Jan 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|How did you become interested in Knox and why Knox-supplement essay
2 - Amiicho, I am interested to read the last paragraph that you did not post in the essay. The reason...
Undergraduateamiicho - Jan 5, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|My Brother and I along the Poolside - How that has Shaped Me
5 - Jeffrey, in truth the essay doesn't sound exceptional at this point. However, it might develop into an interesting read...
UndergraduateJeffreyGuy - Jan 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|My current interests - I am applying to Johns Hopkins and need help with my entrance essay!
3 - Michael, you need to revise the content of your essay top discuss one of each topic as indicated in...
Undergraduatemaster111111 - Jan 4, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 5, 2016
|Impressed by the G.Tech's focus on, enthusiasm for and dedication to advanced technological research
3 - Louisa, thanks a lot for your great revision! The revised essay is much better and more succinct than my...
Undergraduatepanyuchong - Jan 4, 2016 / panyuchong - Jan 5, 2016
|Swarthmore supplement - Multidisciplinary Physics
3 - As a recent graduate of Swarthmore, I would highly discourage you from taking the above advice regarding removing the...
Undergraduateapetroski - Dec 30, 2015 / Swat2015 - Jan 4, 2016
|The moment I laid eyes on my surroundings in Bangladesh, it sparked something inside me. SOP
7 - As reviewer, I would immediately be drawn in by your discussion of the way that the infrastructure in the...
UndergraduateSpoons72 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|'I saw a future for me at Boston University' - College of Communications - Why BU?
2 - Kerry, consider removing the earlier part of your statement in order to make the tour sound more natuarl in...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Jan 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|What excites you about Notre Dame - I need your opinions about my application supplement essay
UndergraduateAbdelrahman - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|I need help with Stanford Essay What matters most to you? - Democracy
4 - Ahmad, this is not a bad revision of the essay. It just need to sound more academic because there...
Undergraduateamimahmoud - Jan 3, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|Intellectual vitality. Does the core of the essay reflect what Stanford is looking for?
UndergraduateAppleJelly - Jan 3, 2016 / kerry2654 - Jan 3, 2016
|Dan Ariely's book "Predictably Irrational" - UPenn 'interests' essay for college of arts and science
7 - okay.. vangiespen looking forward to your redrafted essay, i really appriacitate the time you have spared for reviewing my...
Undergraduatesanchit0709 - Jan 2, 2016 / sanchit0709 - Jan 3, 2016
|'volunteering to distribute christmas gifts' - what will you contribute essay
8 - Lydia, avoid redundancies in your first few lines. The following sentences mean the same thing: Economics has been...
Undergraduatecarine - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
|'FOCUS' program - Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you?
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Jan 3, 2016 / CollegeMe - Jan 3, 2016
|Caltech studens have quirky sense of humor - technology maniac!
3 - thank you for the suggestion!! I was also thinking that the response is too dull. I will think of...
Undergraduateshreygupta - Jan 3, 2016 / shreygupta - Jan 3, 2016
|Stanford Supplement - 7 short answers. Advice/Corrections
2 - Yasmin, in order to improve your statement response within fifty words you need to choose only the strongest response...
Undergraduatehopeful4 - Jan 2, 2016 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2016
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