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|RISD essay- if you can eliminate one thing from the world what would it be?
4 - Ha ha, I appreciate this, but some readers will not like it! Ha ha... being screwed has sexual...
Undergraduatewinstonli - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010
|CU Boulder entrance essay about diversity and how i can contribute
3 - Hi Bria, is your username a weird transformers reference? hahah... I wake up at noon like clockwork. ---...
Undergraduateoptimuspantz - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010
|Peace Corps Essay #2 - Multicultural Experience (Moving to London)
Undergraduateaharari - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 11, 2010
|An opportunity to bring any person (Johnny Depp) - NYU Common App
UndergraduateTorlenart - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010
|"Light is unable to shine without darkness." - Common App Short Answer
4 - to feed the homeless that summer. or to feed the homeless during the summer of 2010.--- Naming the year...
Undergraduateih8artichokes - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010
|5-7 paragraph (Studying in England universities has many benefits)
5 - It would be even better to substitute "she," because in past generations the male pronouns were overused so...
UndergraduateZubaida - Aug 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 10, 2010
|Being an artist - ucla prompt 2 tell us about a talent
6 - Did you mean "and"? My only additional criticism concerns the introduction -- I agree with vietfun2k, I...
Undergraduatewinstonli - Aug 2, 2010 / clocktower - Aug 10, 2010
|"My race" - Meaningful event - UF essay
Undergraduatepatricia5827 - Aug 8, 2010 / patricia5827 - Aug 10, 2010
|"hand-picked" for a career: honestly critique my admissions essay
3 - ...the love and passion that I share feel for sociology and counseling. (now add a sentence that tells...
Undergraduatedaressa_howard - Aug 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010
|"To illustrate Strength" - How is the content, should it be more personal?
Undergraduatejimgraves - Aug 7, 2010 / zengrz - Aug 9, 2010
|"Always a part of me" - Vires, Artes and Mores- FSU essay
Undergraduatepatricia5827 - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010
|"about fishes" - Common App essay- significant experience
4 - Yes, as Frezard said, this "lazy" thing is confusing, but it seems cool! Maybe you should PRECEDE this...
Undergraduatetminhas - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 9, 2010
|Is God real? Is it true that He's there in times of my deepest sorrow?
7 - Hello~ I think your essay have truly shown the process of your growing by questioning yourself about the...
Undergraduateraawr - Aug 1, 2010 / zengrz - Aug 9, 2010
|People attend college or university for... (knowledge, personality, friends)
2 - I see some spelling errors. I hope you can get microsoft word or some other program that will check...
UndergraduateMissS1987 - Aug 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|'plethora of opportunities' - The Ohio State University Essay
4 - I like your essays, but like others before me suggested, i think you should research the school more and...
Undergraduateksunkara - Jul 24, 2010 / daressa_howard - Aug 8, 2010
|compare and contrast essay about home school and public school - major topic
7 - You can find 2 excellent methods if you google: compare contrast essay alternating opposing I think that might...
Undergraduateada - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|The recent sanctions at UoSC about football program
3 - I'd get rid of extremely ...is extremely nonsensical. Maybe you should give a short sentence at the start...
UndergraduateAxJ - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|'Coming mom / Do not panic' - intellectually engaging exp. and letter to roomate
4 - Cool! Great use of "whopping." This essay sort of whops the reader, too, because it has some great words....
Undergraduatewinstonli - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|Common app personal essay--footprints in the sand
4 - Here is the most important part of the essay: I learned that these memories those that are the most...
Undergraduateleiagu - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|Volunteering @ Baptist Medical experience that will affect your college experience
Undergraduatebellaboo - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|"as long as God is" experience in life that helped you define yourself as a person
UndergraduateStormking - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|You must always face the curtain with a bow-Theatre and it's effect on me.
4 - Fluidity is not everything! The most important thing is to punch the reader in the stomach with your...
Undergraduatejazlovesbowie - Aug 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 8, 2010
|"Pressures" -any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments
4 - Before you use some specific examples to illustrate your point you need to have some ideas. It seems that...
Undergraduatelos2294 - Aug 7, 2010 / MrTom - Aug 8, 2010
|Knowing oneself, is the beginning of all wisdom - the purest reflection of me in a mirror
9 - Everyone please make sure you do not post any material into essay forum if it is not your own...
Undergraduatelovelycs - Aug 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|"Speech and Debate activity" - UF Admissions Essay-Meaningful Event
13 - I think whether or not to revise depends on inspiration. Invest a moment of inspiration next time you catch...
UndergraduateYayz - Jul 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|Drama Code Geass for short answer of Common App, feel free to comment
3 - I don't speak any languages besides English, so I am curious about how you practice. Is it easy for...
Undergraduatehimaya - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|"I am determined that I can make a difference" - 2010 UCF ESSAY
4 - I don't think this unsubstantiated assertion is a good way to begin. It is too general and vague....
Undergraduatedhartipatel027 - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|'holding the title of alchemist, troubadour or even a shaman' - SAIC Artist Statement
UndergraduateCrackityJones - Nov 7, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|Purdue Essay - "Superwoman"
3 - I don't think this assertion is accurate. It makes it sound like leadership consists only of multitasking. ...
Undergraduateserogers32 - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 7, 2010
|How my background has had an impact on my educational goals
10 - Don't you think the first paragraph is a little too long? I think you'd better focus on the experience...
Undergraduateniina - Aug 3, 2010 / himaya - Aug 6, 2010
|'Aspirations Never Die' - Statement of Purpose for PhD in computer Networking
10 - Hi Kevin, I just wanted to say that I can't thank you enough for your support throughout my SOP...
Undergraduatemdtariqaziz - Jul 19, 2010 / mdtariqaziz - Aug 6, 2010
|My "granddaddy" - Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you
3 - Oh! Sorry about that - I was looking for a better conclusions, but somehow, it slipped out of...
Undergraduatederby581 - Aug 5, 2010 / freezard7734 - Aug 6, 2010
|What are the achievements and experience that defined you as a person? (family)
5 - thank you for the help :) i appreciate it. i don't hold anything against you. its your opinion and...
Undergraduatemin_026 - Aug 4, 2010 / min_026 - Aug 6, 2010
|"to peruse my passions and help others" - Peace Corp - Why join the Peace Corps
2 - Throughout life, doors of opportunities opportunity open and close, providing an infinite number of possibilities for one's journey....
Undergraduateaharari - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 6, 2010
|major in Special Education - University of Illinois Essay-Freshmen Admissions
3 - ...because I know how it feels not knowing being to be lost in class while everyone else is steadily...
Undergraduatebearsfan85 - Aug 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 5, 2010
|Question about length of common application personal essay
5 - Alright. A lot of my friends are talking about writing 5-page essays, which I though was excessive. But now...
Undergraduatefreezard7734 - Aug 4, 2010 / freezard7734 - Aug 5, 2010
|Common App: Sibling Class, Activity Short Answer
4 - thanks kevin! i didn't even realize that until you pointed it out, but it totally makes sense. thanks again!!...
Undergraduatefdsa54321 - Aug 3, 2010 / fdsa54321 - Aug 5, 2010
|"help me bring a unique and distinctive perspective" Law School Personal Statement
Undergraduatekkhanb - Jul 16, 2010 / meisj0n - Aug 5, 2010
|UC Essay 1 - A library full of children
6 - The children in the library have fueled my passion for humanitarian services in general. I have acquired a much...
Undergraduatenerkygerdy - Jul 15, 2010 / OmarovM - Aug 5, 2010
|"Confessions of a poor student"
20 - This is my humble feedback on your essay. My advice is that maybe you can try writing your essay...
Undergraduateroygbiv - Jun 4, 2010 / OmarovM - Aug 5, 2010
|"The Metamorphosis," "Antidisestablishmentarianism"-Unsettling novel-Favorite Word
12 - Yeah, I think my Abnormal Psychology class made me feel that way too...I nearly gave up my ambition...
UndergraduateYayz - Aug 1, 2010 / Yayz - Aug 4, 2010
|'Preaching my first sermon' - An attempt to jumpstart NCSSM essays
5 - It is, when you name the final product, i.e. salt. Whereas in your case, you are talking about...
UndergraduateClynnSams - Aug 2, 2010 / ershad193 - Aug 4, 2010
|statement of purpose for Master's programme in electronics and communication eng.
3 - I think this is your short term goal rather than your ultimate goal: ...will help me to realize my...
UndergraduateBahramcreep - Aug 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 4, 2010
|"Being myself & Try to help my community" --UC prompt #1
Undergraduatesunzml - Aug 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 4, 2010
|Texas Tech Admission: My father, Someone who has made an impact on your life.
3 - Keep those verb tenses consistent: He has always shown me unconditional love, no matter how badly I screwed up....
Undergraduatest_hastings - Aug 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 4, 2010
|"My aspiration to be a registered nurse" - Nursing Personal Statement
4 - I like the poetry at the beginning. I think any inspired person will appreciate it. My family stepped...
Undergraduatevietfun2k - Aug 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 4, 2010
|To pursue a career in nursing, UT Austin transfer essay-STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
Undergraduateplb - Aug 2, 2010 / plb - Aug 4, 2010
|'The compass pointing at the happiness' commonapp main essay
UndergraduateBrown - Jul 21, 2010 / Shadow93 - Aug 4, 2010
|Essay: Randy Pausch, Someone Important to You
Undergraduaterayban11 - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 2, 2010
|"My mother has made an impact in your life" TAMU Admission Essay
Undergraduatetobixasaurx - Jul 30, 2010 / tobixasaurx - Aug 2, 2010
|As my roommate, I think I should warn you; Stanford Supplement
Undergraduatetitanswim - Aug 1, 2010 / MarleyWH - Aug 2, 2010
|"a career that challenges and sharpens my skill set" - The Ohio State University
4 - It's not banal, just inefficient. Something that honors one's mother or father will never be banal. However, I blieve...
UndergraduateMcPressler - Jul 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 1, 2010
|"Be a best friend, tell the truth..." - favorite quote
2 - Hi Lauren, I changed your thread title so that it would be unique and meaningful. Please use descriptive, meaningful...
Undergraduatelauren_leann - Jul 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 1, 2010
|Mosaic: UC Application Essay #1
10 - Don't worry, just focus on finding those excellent words and phrases. I'll keep the threads cleaned up. Thanks...
UndergraduateAntebellum - Jul 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 1, 2010
|"do not ever give up and be strong in the new world", UF admission essay, help
NEW - In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment...
Undergraduatedeep5166 - Aug 1, 2010 / — -
|I am not exclusively Caucasian or Black ; My diverse lifestyle and culture
7 - Excellent stuff right here. I like all of your writing, but I almost think you should scrap paragraph...
Undergraduatetitanswim - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 31, 2010
|Brother, the most influential and important person -Texas Freshmen Admissions
2 - Okay, you need to have a separate paragraph after you do the introduction. Make this paragraph 2: However, as...
Undergraduatelaw92 - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 31, 2010
|Why I Want to Study Abroad in Argentina Essay
Undergraduatejudas - Jul 29, 2010 / judas - Jul 30, 2010
|"ketchup's popularity" - uc prompt-tell us about your community
5 - Mark and Stephen are wicked cool. Thanks, you guys. Welcome to essayforum. This essay is terrific. I don't think...
Undergraduatewinstonli - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
|"The truly important things in life" - experiences that can define you as a person
Undergraduateannmichelle7 - Jul 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
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