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|Mosaic: UC Application Essay #1
10 - Don't worry, just focus on finding those excellent words and phrases. I'll keep the threads cleaned up. Thanks...
UndergraduateAntebellum - Jul 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Aug 1, 2010
|"do not ever give up and be strong in the new world", UF admission essay, help
NEW - In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment...
Undergraduatedeep5166 - Aug 1, 2010 / — -
|I am not exclusively Caucasian or Black ; My diverse lifestyle and culture
7 - Excellent stuff right here. I like all of your writing, but I almost think you should scrap paragraph...
Undergraduatetitanswim - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 31, 2010
|Brother, the most influential and important person -Texas Freshmen Admissions
2 - Okay, you need to have a separate paragraph after you do the introduction. Make this paragraph 2: However, as...
Undergraduatelaw92 - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 31, 2010
|Why I Want to Study Abroad in Argentina Essay
Undergraduatejudas - Jul 29, 2010 / judas - Jul 30, 2010
|"ketchup's popularity" - uc prompt-tell us about your community
5 - Mark and Stephen are wicked cool. Thanks, you guys. Welcome to essayforum. This essay is terrific. I don't think...
Undergraduatewinstonli - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
|"The truly important things in life" - experiences that can define you as a person
Undergraduateannmichelle7 - Jul 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
|"Argentinian parents" - FSU admission essay "VIRES, ARTES, MORES"
UndergraduateMari - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
|"Choices for the better" UC Prompt #1 2010
Undergraduatejoonie - Jul 28, 2010 / joonie - Jul 30, 2010
|Admission of Guilt or Liability in an Essay
4 - This is a good point, for sure! I hope I have not written anything too incriminating here... ;-)...
UndergraduateAnnette6241 - Jul 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 30, 2010
|Music that has developed you... rate and give advice
2 - ...an entirely new entity, but usually they had so many similarities and could easily be written off as boring....
Undergraduatemrkay66 - Jul 29, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jul 29, 2010
|"Unforgettable Golf Game" - UF Prompt
8 - I think you did answer the prompt well, and your point is distinct... interesting. However, it just seems...
UndergraduateShoKhun - Jul 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 28, 2010
|Transfer admission essay, why do i want to attend this school of management?
UndergraduateMadu410 - Jul 6, 2010 / Madu410 - Jul 28, 2010
|'living in residence halls' WHY BINGHAMTON WHY DO I WANT TO BE ADMITTED?
UndergraduateMadu410 - Jul 7, 2010 / Madu410 - Jul 28, 2010
|UCF Admission Essay...[What qualities do I possess...]
14 - You know what Shinelle? I admire people who take criticisms in their stride, and you are one of them....
Undergraduateshin521 - Jul 13, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 27, 2010
|"A diverse place" - Rutgers Essay
4 - thanks, but i thought i was answering the prompt with the boring stuff. like how i woul benefit &...
Undergraduateraafia93 - Jul 25, 2010 / raafia93 - Jul 27, 2010
|Marching band section leader: a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment
6 - What if I couldn't be a good leader? What if I failed? Well, failure just isn't an option for...
UndergraduateFalcon13 - Jul 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|"Parliamentary inspection of the administration" - Commonapp 150word essay
3 - Scratch some out to make some room: Representing forty-eight million people and a thousand monitors, only three were allowed...
Undergraduatepenn2015 - Jul 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|Outline reasons for choosing the Fashion Institute for Design and Merchandising
3 - I see that Yayz corrected that run on sentence at the beginning. Also, ershad makes a good point!!...
UndergraduateKiea - Jul 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|My experience as a lifeguard: Saving Jeffrey.
7 - This is great! You must know it is great, because when we write something with real energy we know...
Undergraduatetpropper - Jul 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|Experiences...Accomplishments...Experiences - College admission essay
6 - It's better to have this just once: Experiences...Accomplishments.. .Experiences...Accomplishments...I don't really... ...aren't they the things that define...
Undergraduateannmichelle7 - Jul 25, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|I was born into a rich family: UC Personal Statement for Graduates of 2011
Undergraduateschnookumz03 - Jul 24, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 27, 2010
|Additional information: professional and sports experience
3 - To ISB, I will bring a results oriented person with a dynamic personality, and who is full of energy...
Undergraduatesumitg04 - Jul 21, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jul 26, 2010
|'bioengineering research' - College Sup. Essay: Duke Pratt school of Engineering
4 - Some said that this essay wasn't quite attractive as much as I thought it should have been and some...
Undergraduatelcy988 - Jul 25, 2010 / lcy988 - Jul 26, 2010
|"a story from your life, high school" - University of Washington essay
Undergraduatedj02bothell - Jul 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 22, 2010
|Career Essay (goals / objectives) for MMgt programme
Undergraduatehard_target - Jul 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 22, 2010
|family history, culture, why i apply to ucf. ucf essay - review my essay!
Undergraduatehelp1923 - Jul 21, 2010 / help1923 - Jul 21, 2010
|Short term and long term goals for ISB student
Undergraduatesumitg04 - Jul 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 20, 2010
|Signif. Experience: Braces-UF application-suggestions?
5 - This is very good writing. You are not using this essay to its full potential, though. You can reflect...
UndergraduateShaniwilson72 - Jul 18, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 20, 2010
|International University of Art and Design, trying to apply
Undergraduatecookie46 - Jul 12, 2010 / cookie46 - Jul 18, 2010
|"Why do I run?" UF admission essay. thoughts/suggestions
NEW - Prompt:In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment...
Undergraduatelanasat1 - Jul 18, 2010 / — -
|SOP in Graphic Design - SCAD, problems with grammar and vocabulary
12 - Thanks Kevin! I will make changes and consider this the final draft. It might be a naive decision but......
Undergraduateletungggggg - Jul 10, 2010 / letungggggg - Jul 17, 2010
|Judy's strong rapport with patients ; Physician Assistant Personal Statement
3 - I thought you were talking about seals too, as in animals, until I realized that Judy drew him a...
Undergraduateartemis30 - Jul 10, 2010 / cjohnson0620 - Jul 15, 2010
|International Dentist needs to write essay to go to nursing school
4 - What is meant by this? I think you might mean "the development of my interest in nursing." This...
Undergraduatenursingdent - Jul 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 15, 2010
|The future of our society and foreign policy: UT Austin, Important Issue
Undergraduatefifteen_symbols - Jul 13, 2010 / fifteen_symbols - Jul 14, 2010
|Any additional things we should know about you? (optional) University of Florida
4 - Twelve years later, I find that today, inside and outside of the classroom, I continue to be the inquisitive...
Undergraduatetford1661 - Jul 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010
|Splash 1996! The significance of water.
Undergraduatetford1661 - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 14, 2010
|My experience in Khayelitsha; Peace Corps - challenge and your success
3 - Prompt 1 Since you have written on a pretty sensitive subject, try to limit your opinion. Although you...
Undergraduateljm9304 - Jul 13, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 14, 2010
|Mathematics- an intellectual experience or class that has influenced & inspired me
10 - Thanks, Kevin....
Undergraduatekennethkcy - Jul 7, 2010 / kennethkcy - Jul 13, 2010
|"the perfect time in my life to challenge myself" - Peace Corp Essay
Undergraduateaurorlyn - Jul 6, 2010 / aurorlyn - Jul 13, 2010
|admission essay: experiences or achievements that helped define you as a person
Undergraduatepat9507 - Jul 11, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 12, 2010
|Concerning Transfer Admission to University of Texas: Statement of Purpose Essay
5 - 1) There are too many irrelevant details in your essay. For example, - your description of the looks and...
Undergraduatefifteen_symbols - Jul 10, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 12, 2010
|Essay question to enter into a nursing program (Pierce College)
3 - You write very well!! Here is an awkward sentence: This not only enabled me to keep the positive...
Undergraduatechampagne_369 - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 11, 2010
|"to fit the expectations of others" uc- Being a twin
Undergraduatemayrac92 - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jul 10, 2010
|''journey to be oneself'' - LMU Essay Prompt
2 - God has given every individual a personal calling and it is through this that we are able to obtain...
UndergraduateLily3 - Jul 9, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jul 9, 2010
|"All I can do is be me- significant experiences that helped to define you as a person
4 - Apart from the grammar, I think you should use a different word than "unintelligent." When a college admissions person...
Undergraduatetreexah - Jul 3, 2010 / corndawg - Jul 9, 2010
|Help with writing a career goals essay for Recording and Music Production school
5 - Okay... the music has to create an experience every moment. You can't include any sentences without substance: My...
Undergraduateleavethelighton - Jul 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 7, 2010
|"A plane trip we took from Germany to London" - UF admission essay
19 - Hey, this also gave me some important insight into this essayforum we have here... The people who contribute...
Undergraduatepeaceitserin - Jun 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 7, 2010
|College teachers are not all the same.
Undergraduateabd85 - Jan 12, 2010 / abd85 - Jul 7, 2010
|'anything like the Rosen campus' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
Undergraduatedreifusse - Jul 4, 2010 / Madu410 - Jul 7, 2010
|Programming and designing graphics, seven-sentence paragraph about my career goals
UndergraduateZubaida - Jul 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 6, 2010
|Nursing School Admissions Essay: "to acquire skills"
Undergraduatepeyut - Jul 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 6, 2010
|admissions essay--WHY DO YOU WANT TO ATTEND NYUAD?
Undergraduatesilkesha - Jun 11, 2010 / silkesha - Jul 6, 2010
|Hhigh paying job with the risk of losing it is better - 'risk can change'
6 - I tried to correct your sentences as my little bit English knowledge. You made less grammatically and used good...
Undergraduatekimhyejinia - Jul 5, 2010 / vaishali1980 - Jul 5, 2010
|Do you believe in fate: UF Admission essay!
5 - to be eight-teen to ride. I was seven-teen. it should be eighteen and seventeen. no hyphen in required. ...
Undergraduatesfchawks01 - Jun 4, 2010 / Laddingt - Jul 4, 2010
|One of reasons I want to join the Peace Corps is quite selfish - I want to be changed by the world.
Undergraduatellopezhi - Jul 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 4, 2010
|Math, chemistry - a significant experience, achievement common application essay
3 - Simplify to avoid errors: Until high school, never did I consider math nor or science as my strong...
Undergraduateam80951 - Jul 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 4, 2010
|I am trying to finish a BSN in nursing
Undergraduatececilia - Jul 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jul 4, 2010
|'flourish in this challenging world' How family, culture influenced who you are?
5 - Neither of my parents ever had any guidance throughout school, and not enough money to go to college. ...
Undergraduatenickydiaz - Jun 30, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jul 2, 2010
|Transfer essay after a 4 year hiatus to a different program - U Pittsburgh
3 - I believe this sentence is irrelevant. You have repeated lines similar to the following one many times....
Undergraduategrinnin - Jul 1, 2010 / ershad193 - Jul 2, 2010
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