|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 317 of 429|
|"I have no health insurance" - Transfer Essay E- Important Issue
12 - Making a reference to the United Kingdom's National Health Service would make for a good comparison. I know Obama...
UndergraduateGeorge Smith - Apr 21, 2010 / Gooner - May 1, 2010
|Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work" - my motivation essay
UndergraduateMarikosan - Apr 26, 2010 / Marikosan - Apr 30, 2010
|"love and passion for learning" - Wait-list letter...
4 - Some small suggestions for you to consider if they work as improvements: (IMHO): Joined your second...
Undergraduate2010trans - Apr 27, 2010 / linmark - Apr 30, 2010
|Peace Corps motivational essay (why you are interested in joining the Peace Corp
Undergraduateklena225 - Apr 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 28, 2010
|Becoming a Cardiovascular Surgeon - VCU Personal Statement Help
3 - Great, great advice here from Faisal. I would do something like this to get rid of that "extra" stuff...
Undergraduatejojo_robby21210 - Apr 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 28, 2010
|"I liked constructions of every kind"; Civil Engineering Academic objectives
5 - When I say you should express yourself in fewer words, I don't mean you should make the essay shorter....
Undergraduatejazzmeen - Apr 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 27, 2010
|Assistance with: Common App Influential Figure Essay
5 - Aww, thanks! I really appreciate it! You're amazzingggggg! Thank you so much for all your incredible input!...
UndergraduateAndreuphoria - Apr 9, 2010 / Andreuphoria - Apr 26, 2010
|Essay MSc management (developing the economy of my country)
UndergraduatePolly888 - Apr 23, 2010 / Polly888 - Apr 25, 2010
|Admission Essay to U of M for Computer Science. Any suggestions?
2 - Take away th boring sentences, and start with the interesting ones: I took my first programming course in high...
Undergraduateelusivex - Apr 23, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 24, 2010
|ADMISSION ESSAY TO PSYCHOLOGY PROGRAM (in a university in HK)
2 - Change is an inevitable stumbling block that every successful being would stumble must cross at some point during his/her...
Undergraduatejoannayl - Apr 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 23, 2010
|Ut Austin Essay B (Poverty and Education)
UndergraduateBignasty36 - Feb 23, 2010 / Notoman - Apr 23, 2010
|Interest in transferring - What I felt I was always missing
3 - ...includes the aforementioned university experience and the future graduate opportunities. Recently, I visited my ... To my surprise,...
Undergraduatermarin - Apr 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2010
|an undergraduate dance course - personal statement
3 - commas: I love to dance for an audience, giving them everything I have, and in return I wait for...
Undergraduatestacey - Apr 21, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2010
|University of Illinois, Psychology undergrad: Academic Interests and Prof. Goals
Undergraduateklusterfunk - Feb 22, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 22, 2010
|I hated writing with a passion - UF Admissions Essay
Undergraduateregistered99 - Oct 26, 2008 / registered99 - Apr 21, 2010
|Waitlist letter to washington university st.louis
5 - you definitely want to introduce yourself here, also washu is big on interest, EFkevin nailed this, show something specific...
Undergraduateheyyy - Apr 15, 2010 / srandhawa - Apr 21, 2010
|Page 87 of your autobiography - VCU Essay ('Remember me')
2 - What a great essay! You're a very good writer! The feeling of holding that camera for the first...
UndergraduateSabotagedSubjec - Apr 20, 2010 / EF_Susan - Apr 21, 2010
|Help with Essay on the movie L.A. Confidential.
Undergraduategambia5000 - Apr 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 21, 2010
|Convincing admissions essay for Cleveland Institute of Art: He
4 - Be strategic. I don't think this has a good function: At the age of eighteen, I couldn't exactly tell...
Undergraduatemattthew - Apr 19, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 20, 2010
|LOSING A FRIEND TRANSFER UNDERGRADUATE ADMISSION ESSAY
3 - The start is rather weak. The feeling of losing a dear one is painful.To lose your best friend is...
Undergraduateunique01 - Apr 15, 2010 / Vakax - Apr 20, 2010
|Career goals: see the side of things you never expected to see
4 - This was like the film adaptation of "The DaVinci Code" - Completely pointless. You are about to embark...
Undergraduateasdflskdfjalskj - Apr 18, 2010 / Vakax - Apr 20, 2010
|Tell us something about yourself - your present and future goals
6 - Tell us something about yourself-your present & future goals and how PBAU fits * Tell us something about...
Undergraduatesellysel - Apr 8, 2010 / Jasel - Apr 18, 2010
|Engineering: Outlining reasons about why I've decided to apply for college
3 - The world of engineering has always fascinated me (Replace this sentence wth a sentence you might say to your...
Undergraduatetheband4life - Apr 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 18, 2010
|How will IIT prepare you to be a positive contributor to the world?
5 - I don't understand the part about asking God to create you. Do you mean "recreate you" or "create you...
Undergraduatemontes999 - Apr 16, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 18, 2010
|My Vision Of Pakistan, essay to a college. Constructive criticism.
2 - no comma necessary here: realized that activity ... This is such an impressive sentence!! These university-going, lower middle...
UndergraduateSafiullah - Apr 15, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 17, 2010
|Trying to get accepted into an ACT Academy
12 - Hey TinaMarie! You are great!!! Don't be so formal. Don't afraid of BIG GUYS. We are people. Feel free....
UndergraduateTinaMarie - Apr 12, 2010 / montes999 - Apr 17, 2010
|"what makes you a unique individual" - Transfer Essay to UCONN
NEW - Afternoon, I plan on transferring to the University of Connecticut Storrs; this transfer essay means more then I...
Undergraduateryanparrish - Apr 17, 2010 / — -
|National Honors Society Long Essay, commited to qualities, for review
3 - Visiting and ----> organizing: Examples include visiting nursing homes and organizing food drives. Hi Amanda, you obviously write...
Undergraduateisabella246 - Apr 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 16, 2010
|"an artist's mind" - SCAD Statement of Purpose
2 - Tim did such a thorough job, I can hardly find anything to correct... Here is something I can...
Undergraduatemariagaston - Apr 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2010
|SOP - The reasons to choose the university: employment upon graduation
UndergraduateBeena - Apr 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 14, 2010
|bump in the road personal life/why did you choose ucf
3 - Cool, LibraryLover, thanks for all the time you spent with this! Use apostrophes: just because he wasn't here...
Undergraduatejvan - Apr 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 11, 2010
|An essay for Harvard Leadership Conference for Taiwanese students
3 - As I heard the lepers vividly share their tragic stories with tears, a burden was placed in my heart,...
Undergraduates61001234 - Apr 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2010
|what are the threats technology has imposed on modern life?
4 - Technology has become an integral part of our lives today. With it's advent people have been able to evolve...
Undergraduateyuvly - Apr 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2010
|'Why I want to go the university essay' (Yale)
UndergraduateUPennHopeful - Apr 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 9, 2010
|(Leadership experiences) University of Washington Undergraduate Business school
4 - this is good however I highly suggest changing the syntax and style of this. it is very basic and...
Undergraduatehmoon55 - Apr 4, 2010 / blueskies - Apr 9, 2010
|"My Mother" - she will always be by my side.
9 - Your essay has the meaning. I really think that the essay needs to be a little more captivating and...
Undergraduateyahyabluecat - Mar 20, 2010 / UPennHopeful - Apr 8, 2010
|Writing about my passion for computer science
5 - you wrote a very nice, mind-boggling personal statement that I believe it will strengthen your application much ! I...
Undergraduategeorgexu316 - Mar 28, 2010 / getitlow - Apr 6, 2010
|"support and guidance" family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
4 - My mother and father both have there masters degrees and want nothing more than for their children to succeed...
Undergraduatexojlc442xo - Apr 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
|the game art and design degree - Need a little help with an Entry essay
5 - How long is this essay supposed to be? I think each of your sentences should be the topic sentence...
UndergraduateWolfy2449 - Apr 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
|"my abilities and talents" - UT Austin statement of purpose.
4 - Use hyphens: well-deserved eighteen-hour days Imagine that, a perfectly healthy kid being encouraged by his seemingly disadvantaged father....
Undergraduatehakimhusein - Sep 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
|The Art Institute Of Philadelphia Entry Essay
3 - I would find meaning full reasons why you want to attended that school and choosen the major you did....
Undergraduateilliticus - Mar 30, 2010 / mbiscoe25 - Apr 6, 2010
|Career Goals and personality (IT field)
4 - Claire/Lee, I see you giving some very kind and careful advice to lots of people! Thanks for giving such...
Undergraduatenoorah - Mar 27, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 6, 2010
|My explanation of why I did so poorly for the Additional Information part.
3 - You may want to try the standard essay format of an introduction, a few body paragraphs and a conclusion....
UndergraduateCalvinChanCan - Mar 30, 2010 / mbiscoe25 - Apr 6, 2010
|Essay/Letter on - " We are the Universe - Evolve or Perish "
6 - Yeah writing to friend about evolving or perishing is kinda morbid..The job scenario suggested by Kevin is fine, i...
Undergraduatejamesbond - Mar 31, 2010 / Vakax - Apr 6, 2010
|essay about more people prefer living alone than in the past
7 - I do like your points. Your essay will be better if you elaborate more. Instead of mentioning the...
Undergraduatevikasp - Mar 12, 2010 / Phoebe Su - Apr 5, 2010
|"I am a dreamer." - BU 3 words to describe myself supplement essay
UndergraduateRachach6 - Apr 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 2, 2010
|"service before self" Serving in the Air Force prepared me to succeed.
Undergraduatehockeydog2 - Apr 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 2, 2010
|reason i want to study MBBS in china- regarding undergraduate admission
Undergraduaterubika - Mar 31, 2010 / rubika - Apr 2, 2010
|Tisch Film Portfolio: Dramatic Essay
3 - Hey Kevin! Thank you so much! Those are all great corrections. I sent it in earlier today and now...
Undergraduategber371 - Mar 30, 2010 / gber371 - Apr 1, 2010
|"my first swimming lesson" - answer about extracurricular activity
6 - ...and maybe getting back on the competition field. into the water, where the competition happens. --- ah, I don't...
Undergraduatewein350 - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
|"the relationship between China and Italy" -personal statement for a university
3 - Short-tempered, sometimes amiable, but often strict with me, my mother has been one of the greatest positive influences in...
Undergraduateyeseniyaus - Mar 30, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2010
|Research Application Summary: my Life, Over Flowing with Curiosity
2 - One word: overflowing Overflowing with Curiosity I was the only one who had the courage to break that...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2010
|Thoughts on the start and revising the use of "I" (the sonography field)
Undergraduategrammarchic - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2010
|"Visiting new countries" - introduction for admission essay
3 - Matthew's corrections look very good. Also, I hope you will challenge yourself to express a concept that is not...
Undergraduaterach917 - Mar 29, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 31, 2010
|Bachelor of Biology/Psychology -G.Washington University Transfer Admission Essay
5 - [b]Ok sorry for the late reply. I have been so busy with school and getting this essay done. Anyways,...
Undergraduateasmac89 - Mar 29, 2010 / asmac89 - Mar 31, 2010
|Stanford: Profile questions- favorite books, significant issues, etc
8 - I would advise you to form sentences, but make sure they cover all your interests, because that will give...
UndergraduateMaui808 - Mar 9, 2010 / mrgzg1 - Mar 29, 2010
|Law School Admissions (the Florida A&M University College of Law)
3 - Fix this run on sentence: My parents have always been a huge influence in my life. Although neither of...
UndergraduateNeefie - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
|MATLAB to model, regarding graduate admission essay
5 - Great discussion here! I thought of this: Moreover, I utilized MATLAB to model the second-order linear difference equation in...
Undergraduateseanpark80 - Mar 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
|NYU Short Answers- Blair Waldorf, poem, "49", and politics.
6 - Well that is excellent. I felt guilty discouraging you from expressing yourself about feeling inspired. But anyway, it...
Undergraduatepeacelovesarah - Mar 26, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Mar 29, 2010
|Describe a person who has had an influence in you (my tuition teacher)
Undergraduatesave - Mar 23, 2010 / save - Mar 29, 2010
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