|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 32 of 429|
|Carnegie Mellon is well rounded. CMU essay any edits/input welcome!
Undergraduatejosefine - Dec 30, 2015 / josefine - Dec 30, 2015
|Why JHU? ---How to Build Your Future Here?
3 - Jize, I think that there is a portion of a paragraph in your current essay that you can actually...
Undergraduateanfernee - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Extracurricular college essay about soccer-SHORT (150 words max)
3 - I'm not sure what message you are actually trying to convey here. Are you talking about your cleats and...
UndergraduateTechnicalex12 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Harvard Essay: You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following:
2 - To find answers, I rigorously researchingresearchedinto the individual that I called my father. I learned about the sacrifices he...
UndergraduateKih - Dec 30, 2015 / ali2407 - Dec 30, 2015
|My karate instructor and my grandfather -- Rice Perspective Essay
2 - I feel like your essay is very informative about your personal perspective on life and how you developed it....
Undergraduatealexjones98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Kih - Dec 30, 2015
|This essay matters to me. After all, it's for Stanford, the sanctuary for intellects
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 24, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 30, 2015
|Brown Supplement- Why brown, Living Place, Community, and Area of Interest (Undergraduate)
2 - For the first response, the only suggestion I have is to add the last sentence "I want to become...
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015 / val_1397 - Dec 30, 2015
|Helping hand in translating - Common App essay. Does this all work together?
Undergraduatebreannh - Dec 28, 2015 / Abdelrahman - Dec 30, 2015
|'I love teaching kids' Why are you apply to a particular school of study? Rice Supplement
8 - Olu, it was not my place to suggest the removal of the second paragraph because you had originally written...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Playing the violin in a small ensemble/ The senior valedictorian who I had admired; Rice Supplements
3 - Both essays deliver the exact information and quality of discussion that is expected of each prompt. You have the...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|The Cross Eyed Look - 'the true value of appreciation' (commonapp on background, identity, talent..)
4 - Saliva runs down her chin. She cannot speak, but she can feel. I feel her heart pumping to live....
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 28, 2015 / kinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015
|Share a perspective you bring or experiences you've had, Duke Short Answer
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|'highly accomplished staff' - Why does Yale appeal to you? Yale Supplement
7 - Excellent work Olu :-) I am pleased to say that your work is quite acceptable and does not require...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|If there was a ticket in your hand, where would you go?--Brandeis short answer :D
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Honesty is what matters to me the most. Stanford University supplementary essay
3 - Ishmeet, for starters, you do not start off or mention in any essay that the opinions or ideas you...
Undergraduatekaurishmeet - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|'the day my Border Collie got spayed' - Cornell Arts and Sciences- Undergraduate Essay
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 29, 2015 / — -
|The collapse of my dreams on becoming a Nobel Prize laureate. Cognitive science CMU supplement.
2 - Quick fixes: "Honors Program. The abundance of research opportunities at Carnegie Mellon attracts me to the school. The department"...
Undergraduatekwest420 - Dec 29, 2015 / mcooley - Dec 29, 2015
|MY WHOLEHEARTED RESPONSE - WHY DAVIDSON? COLLEGE ESSAY
3 - @kerry2654 Thank you so much for your response. I will definitely take ur advice and go back and rework...
UndergraduateAri98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Ari98 - Dec 29, 2015
|COMMON APP: Essay on my background and education in India. Do give some suggestions
Undergraduateaaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015 / aaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015
|My relationship with UW Madison started when joined College for Kids in 5th grade; College Admission
5 - Here's my suggestion: Look up a specific club that you might want to join and write a little about...
Undergraduateratoberry - Dec 28, 2015 / breannh - Dec 29, 2015
|Past Shaped World View/ Plans at AU expand it
4 - The last second paragraph is good, but I think for the first paragraph it would be beneficial to use...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|WPI supplement future academic interests and how attending WPI would fulfill them
3 - Thank you very much majnoon for the very astute and concise critique. I revised it by taking into account...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 28, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 29, 2015
|USC Supplement- I am a little concerned that the website might not be appropriate
3 - Alejandro, you don't really need to open the statement with your current opening paragraph. Your second paragraph is actually...
Undergraduatealejobritos - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|At Colgate we strive to foster an inclusive community; supplement 250 words or less common app essay
9 - El, I think that you should strengthen the essay by concentrating on the fact that being a Beber makes...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|A realization within culture... Supplement essay for the Princeton application
2 - Hi Anthony. I admire your excellent writing skills! You successfully show how you pass through the difficulties and become...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 29, 2015 / anfernee - Dec 29, 2015
|Pomona Supplement Essay - Human Robot and Art
6 - Caitlyn, this essay is a go. As far as I can tell, you have already covered the necessary bases...
Undergraduateinsomniacgamer - Dec 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Common App (Background): "I finally woke up after hitting the snooze button..."
5 - I finally woke up afterH itting the snooze button for the third time, groggilyI walked to the dresser, grabbed...
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Defining of happiness - GW Supplement: "experiences outside the classroom correlates with success"
3 - Nearly two years ago I sat in a room with fifteen other teenagers at a youth conference. We went...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Question which fascinates me; what's broken; what exciting in ND - University of Notre Dame prompts
4 - please do not submit this!!! I agree with majnoun, poverty can be eliminated. A reallocation of resources could definitely...
UndergraduateNikitaM - Dec 28, 2015 / tylersu - Dec 28, 2015
|A nostalgic experience with the reality of humanity.
4 - I'm confused about how Leisure Life ties into E.L.D. which ties into undergoing an operation when you were five...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 24, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Battling the stigma and stereotype attached to short heights - identity, background, interest essay.
3 - I agree with megan998555; your essay does have a lot of personality, so great job on that part! Considering...
Undergraduateshameentariq - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Culture Club - an enhancement for the community (Rice University Supplement Question)
3 - Small grammar tweaks - add a space after H.O.P.E. in the second sentence There should be no comma...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 27, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Arch-nemesis essay: Stage Fright. Undergrad UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Stanford, intellectual vitality prompt: "The steady walk of the upright bass..."
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 27, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|This is optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude - William and Mary essay
2 - Great essay and perfect for the prompt provided. I believe you answered every part. There are only a few...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015 / megan998555 - Dec 28, 2015
|Why Knox? -Knox College and experiential learning-
4 - I appreciate you guys for your help. I edited my essay based on your suggestions. At the Grew...
Undergraduateshuto - Dec 24, 2015 / shuto - Dec 28, 2015
|Longevity brings many drawbacks; nevertheless, it still benefits young people -IELTS life expectancy
2 - I fixed some grammatical errors below. You need to revise this essay again COMPLETELY. It's not even near finished,...
Undergraduateaiman02 - Dec 27, 2015 / eber2016 - Dec 28, 2015
|Lancaster as a capital city / Why Franklin and Marshall? Answers for F&M Supplements
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 28, 2015
|Growing up, education and opportunities offered in America were emphasized in my family. Common app
2 - This looks more like your father's identity than yours. Focus the essay more on how it changed you as...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015 / shameentariq - Dec 28, 2015
|BEING ALONE, DARTMOUTH SUPP (an intellectual experience)
2 - I like the simplicity of tone and language. However, the problem with your essay is that you provided too...
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Dec 27, 2015 / shameentariq - Dec 28, 2015
|Culture is what presents us with the kinds of valuable things that can fill a life. Princeton Essay.
2 - Good job. Here are my suggestions. I have adopted the majority of my morals from my mother and the...
UndergraduateMelaniaP - Dec 28, 2015 / kabir19116 - Dec 28, 2015
|Wesleyan Supplement - practical value of a liberal arts education -
4 - Shuto, using "Because" to start each reason that you present makes the essay repetitive and makes you sound like...
Undergraduateshuto - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 28, 2015
|Council of Aid for Central Asian Jews day camp - Vassar supplement on extracurricular experience
2 - Diana, I am not sure why you are discussing isolation at the end of your essay when the lesson...
Undergraduatemacarongrl - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 28, 2015
|After hearing about Penn, I knew that it is the unparalleled university - interests essay
2 - Despite the fact that I was born and brought up in India. I recognized myself in US, the land...
Undergraduateeditingessays56 - Dec 28, 2015 / mahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015
|'The poorly made bed structured with Bamboo and stones' - Common App Essay 1; My background
2 - Your essay is very strong and balances your background story and how it shaped you today. Its a good...
Undergraduatekabir19116 - Dec 28, 2015 / mahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015
|'Always passionate about how stuff works' The question: Why am I choosing mechanical engineering?
NEW - Please provide an essay that explains why you chose your intended program of study. What interests you the most...
Undergraduateuniquebilal - Dec 28, 2015 / — -
|College Essay: Something meaningful about yourself application wouldn't be complete with out it
2 - Once I was settled I was asked things like But However, another part of me was devastated ......
Undergraduatemaggieudo - Dec 27, 2015 / Fia0910 - Dec 28, 2015
|This essay is for my Duke application and I was wondering if it would be considered good. Im tryna
4 - Hi there.i just want to give you some tips about duke. From what I have heard, Duke values diversity...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 27, 2015 / bonboncase - Dec 27, 2015
|I am attempting to transfer to Texas A&M as an animal sciences major Help me reach my goals!
4 - Epilog, after my loss I dove into school joining the national honor society, the Spanish club and, theater club....
Undergraduateashten94 - Dec 21, 2015 / ashten94 - Dec 27, 2015
|Transformation is not just a change. Change is often reversible - UG Essay on transition to an adult
2 - Drumil, this is a very unique take on the informal transition to adulthood on your part. It is something...
Undergraduatedrewz14 - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Brandeis supplement for internationals. What can you bring to the community of Brandeis
4 - El, pick up the edit of your essay from this portion: Berbers are remarkable and we could all...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Places where I have lived? / existing within a community? BROWN SUPPLEMENTS
6 - Grammar fix: people from other cultures such as: Venezuelans , Colombians , Chileans , and Cubans , among others....
Undergraduateeber2016 - Dec 27, 2015 / funny - Dec 27, 2015
|MIT ESSAY: The most significant challenge I've faced. Rebuild my life in a different country
UndergraduateVictorJac - Dec 27, 2015 / VictorJac - Dec 27, 2015
|'To solve the undiscovered' - Coming of Age Common Application Essay
Undergraduatemzhang - Dec 26, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 27, 2015
|All my life I have been taught to ask why, to question, to explore - "WHY BROWN?" Supplement essay
5 - Louisa, it is very insightful indeed, thank you! I love the use of the quote, it makes it sound...
Undergraduateeber2016 - Dec 27, 2015 / eber2016 - Dec 27, 2015
|Moroccan citizen willing to serve those less fortunate - transition from childhood to adulthood
4 - Amine, the first thing that I would do in the essay is change the current opening statement. I feel...
UndergraduateAmineNaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Brandeis Supplement Essay for what is your dream 250 words or fewer
9 - El, I edited the essay for content. I tightened the focus by deleting some parts that are either irrelevant...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|I have realized the importance of communication. Stanford Essay - Intellectual Vitality
4 - Mohib, I believe that between the two scenarios you presented, the one that you should develop more would be...
Undergraduatemohibraza - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|"Family tragedy taught me my strength" - Georgetown's "describe yourself" essay
Undergraduatelilbean - Dec 26, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015
|Carnegie Mellon supplement on Engineering - Nature drives design. Design drives nature.
4 - Christopher, if you are worried about plagiarism, then, when you are done with consulting with us here at the...
Undergraduateckko817 - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
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