|Home / Undergraduate [25,752] - page 32 of 430|
|Let Loose - How Dance Helped Me (Common App Essay)
2 - your word choice and sentence structures and placement could be improved for example: My description turned from that 'shy...
UndergraduateKobby Boateng - Dec 31, 2015 / hapij - Dec 31, 2015
|George Washington University Supplement: Who helped you in difficult times?
2 - Val, I definitely encourage you to use the second version of the essay in response to the prompt. It...
Undergraduateval_1397 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|I want to become the best version of myself. Dream Person/ How can Syracuse help?
2 - Kerry, you need a better hook to open this statement with. Try to find a quote from a notable...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Why NU-Q? ----Dream to be a journalist
4 - Jize, that discussion should not be a mere footnote in your last paragraph. You should make it the focal...
Undergraduateanfernee - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|The lead role of a musical and voice - Leaving my comfort zone - Common app essay
UndergraduateKrim - Dec 30, 2015 / hapij - Dec 31, 2015
|"Why Columbia" essay - prestigious Ivy League reputation and enviable location in New York City
2 - Not bad T.z. Your essay has managed to deliver a unique response regarding your choice of university that does...
Undergraduateyolomaster98 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Why Duke? The physics department appeals the most to me. Supplementary Essay
4 - Daniel, if the reason that you opted to try and enroll at Duke is because of their laboratories such...
UndergraduateDanya314 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Intellectual Vitality: My mother, grandmother, and great grandmother were raised surrounded by nuns
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|'Raised in Texas' - How did you first learn about Rice University and what motivated you to apply?
7 - Samraz, I do believe that your suggestion for your new concluding paragraph is a good one. If you are...
UndergraduateKih - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|The connections I made between genetic letter codes and the alphabet - Yale Supplement. Why research
3 - Christine, you have already established the fact that you are a cutting edge researcher whose future as a scientist...
Undergraduatemadtramps33 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Favorite word - "Hey!" Supplement writing UVA
2 - Elif, here are some ideas as to how you can expand upon your essay. Try to develop some examples...
Undergraduatezeyel - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Tufts Supplement- Why Tufts, Let your life speak, what makes you happy?
NEW - ANY SUGGESTIONS AND CRITIQUES WILL BE TAKEN! THANK YOU SO MUCH Why Tufts? Tufts was my first...
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 30, 2015 / — -
|I have gained many experiences that have influenced me and my intellectual development; Stanford
6 - For the first prompt- "... truly matters in my life, making my family and friends the top priorities in...
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 27, 2015 / kinfgra16 - Dec 30, 2015
|Redefining Beauty - Emory Supplement
2 - You do a great job of fully answering the question and giving specific ways Emory will help you find...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Dec 30, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 30, 2015
|'Go-to person//close confidant'--GW Supplement
Undergraduatemzhang - Dec 30, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 30, 2015
|"A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement"
UndergraduateDoaaHakim - Dec 30, 2015 / DoaaHakim - Dec 30, 2015
|I am choosing NYU for its various undergraduate programs, study abroad programs, and student life.
2 - Your essay seems a little generic. When you talk about their econ major, don't tell them simple facts they...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Dec 30, 2015 / Chels4afu - Dec 30, 2015
|Biology - Cornell Supplement (intellectual interests, why exciting, & how to pursue)
2 - Your introduction was quite catchy and overall flow of essay is great. I really like how you talk about...
Undergraduatelmongado - Dec 29, 2015 / sdoubleh - Dec 30, 2015
|'International' and 'Anime' - variety of clubs at Bates. Writing a supplement essay.
3 - I think you should rewrite it and focus more on why bates matters to you as an individual. There...
Undergraduatezainsdar - Dec 30, 2015 / johnjr121 - Dec 30, 2015
|It would be safe to say that I love film. Common App Essay- Meaningful talent/interest/identity
Undergraduateshealeear8 - Dec 29, 2015 / shealeear8 - Dec 30, 2015
|Carnegie Mellon is well rounded. CMU essay any edits/input welcome!
Undergraduatejosefine - Dec 30, 2015 / josefine - Dec 30, 2015
|Why JHU? ---How to Build Your Future Here?
3 - Jize, I think that there is a portion of a paragraph in your current essay that you can actually...
Undergraduateanfernee - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Extracurricular college essay about soccer-SHORT (150 words max)
3 - I'm not sure what message you are actually trying to convey here. Are you talking about your cleats and...
UndergraduateTechnicalex12 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Harvard Essay: You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following:
2 - To find answers, I rigorously researchingresearchedinto the individual that I called my father. I learned about the sacrifices he...
UndergraduateKih - Dec 30, 2015 / ali2407 - Dec 30, 2015
|My karate instructor and my grandfather -- Rice Perspective Essay
2 - I feel like your essay is very informative about your personal perspective on life and how you developed it....
Undergraduatealexjones98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Kih - Dec 30, 2015
|This essay matters to me. After all, it's for Stanford, the sanctuary for intellects
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 24, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 30, 2015
|Brown Supplement- Why brown, Living Place, Community, and Area of Interest (Undergraduate)
2 - For the first response, the only suggestion I have is to add the last sentence "I want to become...
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015 / val_1397 - Dec 30, 2015
|Helping hand in translating - Common App essay. Does this all work together?
Undergraduatebreannh - Dec 28, 2015 / Abdelrahman - Dec 30, 2015
|'I love teaching kids' Why are you apply to a particular school of study? Rice Supplement
8 - Olu, it was not my place to suggest the removal of the second paragraph because you had originally written...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Playing the violin in a small ensemble/ The senior valedictorian who I had admired; Rice Supplements
3 - Both essays deliver the exact information and quality of discussion that is expected of each prompt. You have the...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|The Cross Eyed Look - 'the true value of appreciation' (commonapp on background, identity, talent..)
4 - Saliva runs down her chin. She cannot speak, but she can feel. I feel her heart pumping to live....
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 28, 2015 / kinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015
|Share a perspective you bring or experiences you've had, Duke Short Answer
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|'highly accomplished staff' - Why does Yale appeal to you? Yale Supplement
7 - Excellent work Olu :-) I am pleased to say that your work is quite acceptable and does not require...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|If there was a ticket in your hand, where would you go?--Brandeis short answer :D
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Honesty is what matters to me the most. Stanford University supplementary essay
3 - Ishmeet, for starters, you do not start off or mention in any essay that the opinions or ideas you...
Undergraduatekaurishmeet - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|'the day my Border Collie got spayed' - Cornell Arts and Sciences- Undergraduate Essay
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 29, 2015 / — -
|The collapse of my dreams on becoming a Nobel Prize laureate. Cognitive science CMU supplement.
2 - Quick fixes: "Honors Program. The abundance of research opportunities at Carnegie Mellon attracts me to the school. The department"...
Undergraduatekwest420 - Dec 29, 2015 / mcooley - Dec 29, 2015
|MY WHOLEHEARTED RESPONSE - WHY DAVIDSON? COLLEGE ESSAY
3 - @kerry2654 Thank you so much for your response. I will definitely take ur advice and go back and rework...
UndergraduateAri98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Ari98 - Dec 29, 2015
|COMMON APP: Essay on my background and education in India. Do give some suggestions
Undergraduateaaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015 / aaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015
|My relationship with UW Madison started when joined College for Kids in 5th grade; College Admission
5 - Here's my suggestion: Look up a specific club that you might want to join and write a little about...
Undergraduateratoberry - Dec 28, 2015 / breannh - Dec 29, 2015
|Past Shaped World View/ Plans at AU expand it
4 - The last second paragraph is good, but I think for the first paragraph it would be beneficial to use...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|WPI supplement future academic interests and how attending WPI would fulfill them
3 - Thank you very much majnoon for the very astute and concise critique. I revised it by taking into account...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 28, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 29, 2015
|USC Supplement- I am a little concerned that the website might not be appropriate
3 - Alejandro, you don't really need to open the statement with your current opening paragraph. Your second paragraph is actually...
Undergraduatealejobritos - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|At Colgate we strive to foster an inclusive community; supplement 250 words or less common app essay
9 - El, I think that you should strengthen the essay by concentrating on the fact that being a Beber makes...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|A realization within culture... Supplement essay for the Princeton application
2 - Hi Anthony. I admire your excellent writing skills! You successfully show how you pass through the difficulties and become...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 29, 2015 / anfernee - Dec 29, 2015
|Pomona Supplement Essay - Human Robot and Art
6 - Caitlyn, this essay is a go. As far as I can tell, you have already covered the necessary bases...
Undergraduateinsomniacgamer - Dec 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Common App (Background): "I finally woke up after hitting the snooze button..."
5 - I finally woke up afterH itting the snooze button for the third time, groggilyI walked to the dresser, grabbed...
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Defining of happiness - GW Supplement: "experiences outside the classroom correlates with success"
3 - Nearly two years ago I sat in a room with fifteen other teenagers at a youth conference. We went...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Question which fascinates me; what's broken; what exciting in ND - University of Notre Dame prompts
4 - please do not submit this!!! I agree with majnoun, poverty can be eliminated. A reallocation of resources could definitely...
UndergraduateNikitaM - Dec 28, 2015 / tylersu - Dec 28, 2015
|A nostalgic experience with the reality of humanity.
4 - I'm confused about how Leisure Life ties into E.L.D. which ties into undergoing an operation when you were five...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 24, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Battling the stigma and stereotype attached to short heights - identity, background, interest essay.
3 - I agree with megan998555; your essay does have a lot of personality, so great job on that part! Considering...
Undergraduateshameentariq - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Culture Club - an enhancement for the community (Rice University Supplement Question)
3 - Small grammar tweaks - add a space after H.O.P.E. in the second sentence There should be no comma...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 27, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Arch-nemesis essay: Stage Fright. Undergrad UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Stanford, intellectual vitality prompt: "The steady walk of the upright bass..."
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 27, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|This is optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude - William and Mary essay
2 - Great essay and perfect for the prompt provided. I believe you answered every part. There are only a few...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015 / megan998555 - Dec 28, 2015
|Why Knox? -Knox College and experiential learning-
4 - I appreciate you guys for your help. I edited my essay based on your suggestions. At the Grew...
Undergraduateshuto - Dec 24, 2015 / shuto - Dec 28, 2015
|Longevity brings many drawbacks; nevertheless, it still benefits young people -IELTS life expectancy
2 - I fixed some grammatical errors below. You need to revise this essay again COMPLETELY. It's not even near finished,...
Undergraduateaiman02 - Dec 27, 2015 / eber2016 - Dec 28, 2015
|Lancaster as a capital city / Why Franklin and Marshall? Answers for F&M Supplements
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 28, 2015
|Growing up, education and opportunities offered in America were emphasized in my family. Common app
2 - This looks more like your father's identity than yours. Focus the essay more on how it changed you as...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015 / shameentariq - Dec 28, 2015
|BEING ALONE, DARTMOUTH SUPP (an intellectual experience)
2 - I like the simplicity of tone and language. However, the problem with your essay is that you provided too...
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Dec 27, 2015 / shameentariq - Dec 28, 2015
|Home / Undergraduate|