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|Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you.
2 - Hi Kyla Here are my suggestions. Hope this helps ) amazing yet suck-ish. Such-ish (I don't know if...
Undergraduatekylasummer - Dec 30, 2015 / Ssakshijain - Dec 31, 2015
|My background has shaped me to become the person I am today. Common App Essay
2 - I think there is many unnecessary words in this paragraph and you can omit half of it. Moreover,...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Dec 31, 2015 / hypersis - Dec 31, 2015
|Picking oranges - Common App Essay (transition from childhood to adulthood) HELP
Undergraduateaml - Dec 30, 2015 / aml - Dec 31, 2015
|Columbia Supplement - Which activity are you most proud of?
4 - havechange to has you still volunteer at the community school, I'm assuming? I would also just include a short...
Undergraduateyolomaster98 - Dec 29, 2015 / thereis123 - Dec 31, 2015
|WITHOUT BORDERS Common App Prompt 2 -Failure Friday! in dire need
2 - I think the first line should be merged with the second paragraph since they're discussing the same thing.I also...
Undergraduatehapij - Dec 30, 2015 / Kobby Boateng - Dec 31, 2015
|Common App Essay: Special Interest- 'Wide eyes and Dropped Chins'
8 - It sounds great Olu. I do believe that if you put the different pieces of the essay together, you...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|3 days long international mathematical event - essay about my extracurricular activities/ experience
4 - I was frozen. The sound of the clock was echoing through my mind. Tic... Toc... Our only chance at...
Undergraduatemilan1 - Dec 30, 2015 / Kih - Dec 31, 2015
|Columbia Supplements - What activity are you most proud of? Why Columbia? Why major - art history?
3 - Thanks for your feedback. Here's an edited version: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia...
Undergraduatefunny - Dec 29, 2015 / funny - Dec 31, 2015
|Let Loose - How Dance Helped Me (Common App Essay)
2 - your word choice and sentence structures and placement could be improved for example: My description turned from that 'shy...
UndergraduateKobby Boateng - Dec 31, 2015 / hapij - Dec 31, 2015
|George Washington University Supplement: Who helped you in difficult times?
2 - Val, I definitely encourage you to use the second version of the essay in response to the prompt. It...
Undergraduateval_1397 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|I want to become the best version of myself. Dream Person/ How can Syracuse help?
2 - Kerry, you need a better hook to open this statement with. Try to find a quote from a notable...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Why NU-Q? ----Dream to be a journalist
4 - Jize, that discussion should not be a mere footnote in your last paragraph. You should make it the focal...
Undergraduateanfernee - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|The lead role of a musical and voice - Leaving my comfort zone - Common app essay
UndergraduateKrim - Dec 30, 2015 / hapij - Dec 31, 2015
|"Why Columbia" essay - prestigious Ivy League reputation and enviable location in New York City
2 - Not bad T.z. Your essay has managed to deliver a unique response regarding your choice of university that does...
Undergraduateyolomaster98 - Dec 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Why Duke? The physics department appeals the most to me. Supplementary Essay
4 - Daniel, if the reason that you opted to try and enroll at Duke is because of their laboratories such...
UndergraduateDanya314 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|Intellectual Vitality: My mother, grandmother, and great grandmother were raised surrounded by nuns
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 31, 2015
|'Raised in Texas' - How did you first learn about Rice University and what motivated you to apply?
7 - Samraz, I do believe that your suggestion for your new concluding paragraph is a good one. If you are...
UndergraduateKih - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|The connections I made between genetic letter codes and the alphabet - Yale Supplement. Why research
3 - Christine, you have already established the fact that you are a cutting edge researcher whose future as a scientist...
Undergraduatemadtramps33 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Favorite word - "Hey!" Supplement writing UVA
2 - Elif, here are some ideas as to how you can expand upon your essay. Try to develop some examples...
Undergraduatezeyel - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Tufts Supplement- Why Tufts, Let your life speak, what makes you happy?
NEW - ANY SUGGESTIONS AND CRITIQUES WILL BE TAKEN! THANK YOU SO MUCH Why Tufts? Tufts was my first...
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 30, 2015 / — -
|I have gained many experiences that have influenced me and my intellectual development; Stanford
6 - For the first prompt- "... truly matters in my life, making my family and friends the top priorities in...
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 27, 2015 / kinfgra16 - Dec 30, 2015
|Redefining Beauty - Emory Supplement
2 - You do a great job of fully answering the question and giving specific ways Emory will help you find...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Dec 30, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 30, 2015
|'Go-to person//close confidant'--GW Supplement
Undergraduatemzhang - Dec 30, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 30, 2015
|"A dream becomes a goal when action is taken toward its achievement"
UndergraduateDoaaHakim - Dec 30, 2015 / DoaaHakim - Dec 30, 2015
|I am choosing NYU for its various undergraduate programs, study abroad programs, and student life.
2 - Your essay seems a little generic. When you talk about their econ major, don't tell them simple facts they...
Undergraduatethereis123 - Dec 30, 2015 / Chels4afu - Dec 30, 2015
|Biology - Cornell Supplement (intellectual interests, why exciting, & how to pursue)
2 - Your introduction was quite catchy and overall flow of essay is great. I really like how you talk about...
Undergraduatelmongado - Dec 29, 2015 / sdoubleh - Dec 30, 2015
|'International' and 'Anime' - variety of clubs at Bates. Writing a supplement essay.
3 - I think you should rewrite it and focus more on why bates matters to you as an individual. There...
Undergraduatezainsdar - Dec 30, 2015 / johnjr121 - Dec 30, 2015
|It would be safe to say that I love film. Common App Essay- Meaningful talent/interest/identity
Undergraduateshealeear8 - Dec 29, 2015 / shealeear8 - Dec 30, 2015
|Carnegie Mellon is well rounded. CMU essay any edits/input welcome!
Undergraduatejosefine - Dec 30, 2015 / josefine - Dec 30, 2015
|Why JHU? ---How to Build Your Future Here?
3 - Jize, I think that there is a portion of a paragraph in your current essay that you can actually...
Undergraduateanfernee - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Extracurricular college essay about soccer-SHORT (150 words max)
3 - I'm not sure what message you are actually trying to convey here. Are you talking about your cleats and...
UndergraduateTechnicalex12 - Dec 30, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 30, 2015
|Harvard Essay: You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following:
2 - To find answers, I rigorously researchingresearchedinto the individual that I called my father. I learned about the sacrifices he...
UndergraduateKih - Dec 30, 2015 / ali2407 - Dec 30, 2015
|My karate instructor and my grandfather -- Rice Perspective Essay
2 - I feel like your essay is very informative about your personal perspective on life and how you developed it....
Undergraduatealexjones98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Kih - Dec 30, 2015
|This essay matters to me. After all, it's for Stanford, the sanctuary for intellects
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 24, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 30, 2015
|Brown Supplement- Why brown, Living Place, Community, and Area of Interest (Undergraduate)
2 - For the first response, the only suggestion I have is to add the last sentence "I want to become...
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015 / val_1397 - Dec 30, 2015
|Helping hand in translating - Common App essay. Does this all work together?
Undergraduatebreannh - Dec 28, 2015 / Abdelrahman - Dec 30, 2015
|'I love teaching kids' Why are you apply to a particular school of study? Rice Supplement
8 - Olu, it was not my place to suggest the removal of the second paragraph because you had originally written...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Playing the violin in a small ensemble/ The senior valedictorian who I had admired; Rice Supplements
3 - Both essays deliver the exact information and quality of discussion that is expected of each prompt. You have the...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|The Cross Eyed Look - 'the true value of appreciation' (commonapp on background, identity, talent..)
4 - Saliva runs down her chin. She cannot speak, but she can feel. I feel her heart pumping to live....
Undergraduatekinfgra16 - Dec 28, 2015 / kinfgra16 - Dec 29, 2015
|Share a perspective you bring or experiences you've had, Duke Short Answer
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|'highly accomplished staff' - Why does Yale appeal to you? Yale Supplement
7 - Excellent work Olu :-) I am pleased to say that your work is quite acceptable and does not require...
UndergraduateCollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Honesty is what matters to me the most. Stanford University supplementary essay
3 - Ishmeet, for starters, you do not start off or mention in any essay that the opinions or ideas you...
Undergraduatekaurishmeet - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|If there was a ticket in your hand, where would you go?--Brandeis short answer :D
4 - Megan, you have only one ticket in your hand. Not seven. Review the prompt statement. You can't go to...
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|'the day my Border Collie got spayed' - Cornell Arts and Sciences- Undergraduate Essay
Undergraduatemcooley - Dec 29, 2015 / — -
|The collapse of my dreams on becoming a Nobel Prize laureate. Cognitive science CMU supplement.
2 - Quick fixes: "Honors Program. The abundance of research opportunities at Carnegie Mellon attracts me to the school. The department"...
Undergraduatekwest420 - Dec 29, 2015 / mcooley - Dec 29, 2015
|MY WHOLEHEARTED RESPONSE - WHY DAVIDSON? COLLEGE ESSAY
3 - @kerry2654 Thank you so much for your response. I will definitely take ur advice and go back and rework...
UndergraduateAri98 - Dec 29, 2015 / Ari98 - Dec 29, 2015
|COMMON APP: Essay on my background and education in India. Do give some suggestions
Undergraduateaaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015 / aaromaldcruz - Dec 29, 2015
|My relationship with UW Madison started when joined College for Kids in 5th grade; College Admission
5 - Here's my suggestion: Look up a specific club that you might want to join and write a little about...
Undergraduateratoberry - Dec 28, 2015 / breannh - Dec 29, 2015
|Past Shaped World View/ Plans at AU expand it
4 - The last second paragraph is good, but I think for the first paragraph it would be beneficial to use...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015 / CollegeMe - Dec 29, 2015
|USC Supplement- I am a little concerned that the website might not be appropriate
3 - Alejandro, you don't really need to open the statement with your current opening paragraph. Your second paragraph is actually...
Undergraduatealejobritos - Dec 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|A realization within culture... Supplement essay for the Princeton application
2 - Hi Anthony. I admire your excellent writing skills! You successfully show how you pass through the difficulties and become...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 29, 2015 / anfernee - Dec 29, 2015
|Pomona Supplement Essay - Human Robot and Art
6 - Caitlyn, this essay is a go. As far as I can tell, you have already covered the necessary bases...
Undergraduateinsomniacgamer - Dec 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 29, 2015
|Common App (Background): "I finally woke up after hitting the snooze button..."
5 - I finally woke up afterH itting the snooze button for the third time, groggilyI walked to the dresser, grabbed...
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Defining of happiness - GW Supplement: "experiences outside the classroom correlates with success"
3 - Nearly two years ago I sat in a room with fifteen other teenagers at a youth conference. We went...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Dec 28, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 29, 2015
|Question which fascinates me; what's broken; what exciting in ND - University of Notre Dame prompts
4 - please do not submit this!!! I agree with majnoun, poverty can be eliminated. A reallocation of resources could definitely...
UndergraduateNikitaM - Dec 28, 2015 / tylersu - Dec 28, 2015
|A nostalgic experience with the reality of humanity.
4 - I'm confused about how Leisure Life ties into E.L.D. which ties into undergoing an operation when you were five...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 24, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Battling the stigma and stereotype attached to short heights - identity, background, interest essay.
3 - I agree with megan998555; your essay does have a lot of personality, so great job on that part! Considering...
Undergraduateshameentariq - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Culture Club - an enhancement for the community (Rice University Supplement Question)
3 - Small grammar tweaks - add a space after H.O.P.E. in the second sentence There should be no comma...
Undergraduateanthonyxd - Dec 27, 2015 / macarongrl - Dec 28, 2015
|Arch-nemesis essay: Stage Fright. Undergrad UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatemegan998555 - Dec 28, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
|Stanford, intellectual vitality prompt: "The steady walk of the upright bass..."
UndergraduateKisakina - Dec 27, 2015 / Kisakina - Dec 28, 2015
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