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|"more about you in your own words" - Georgetown University Essay
8 - one of the reasons you might want to transfer to another college should be first and foremost academic. Emphasize...
Undergraduatemayrafelixc - Feb 7, 2010 / marcee34 - Feb 7, 2010
|The importance of education - personal essay (TOPIC E) for UT transfer
3 - Excellent, the high quality of this sentence reflects the high quality of your education. You write very well!...
Undergraduatehope - Feb 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|writing an essay on a topic of my choice for uni application
5 - I definitely like this one a lot more! It is elegant, serious, inspiring, and very thoughtful. It shows real...
Undergraduatenishh - Feb 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|Transfer essay: Describing my need to go onto a four year university to study
4 - This kind of sentence can be better with no unnecessary words: "Why do I need to go to school?"...
Undergraduatemjk249 - Feb 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|Personal Statement Admission Essay: Leadership, Creativity, teamwork, Communitiy
5 - I think this whole sentence should be taken out: Success comes from the sweat and tears of hard work,...
UndergraduateGaryJiang - Feb 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|making large amounts of money or being satisfied to earn a comfortable living
5 - I'll give some ideas, too, in case it is helpful... Everybody should feel to free to be themsevles...
Undergraduateburcugrk - Feb 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|"wait for my new test scores" - My letter of appeal to USF
2 - yea, before you send this out, definitely get a teacher to review grammar. It's deferred, not differed. ...
Undergraduatematt_eliassen - Feb 7, 2010 / yang - Feb 7, 2010
|UM undergraduate PS essay--educational interests-economics
12 - Perhaps because my delay in growth of my naivety , I came up with a question, which now seem...
Undergraduatekittyg713 - Jan 20, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2010
|UM setback essay- my failed experiment.
7 - good writing....
Undergraduatekiwi90 - Feb 1, 2010 / blonde10032002 - Feb 7, 2010
|Clark Atlanta University: Preparing yourself for future leadership.
4 - Great ideas. Thanks. It's difficult for me to write my own paper, easier to critque someone elses....
Undergraduatelashay - Feb 1, 2010 / lashay - Feb 6, 2010
|'Like a stab in the heart' - UniversityOf richmond: comfort zone
Undergraduatelola09 - Feb 4, 2010 / Jd87rh - Feb 5, 2010
|Art school admissions personal statement (applying for fashion design)
5 - I like the new material, and I like, especially, the transition backward with the sentence that starts with: But...
Undergraduatejayd2561 - Feb 3, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2010
|Life is a climb, but the view is great - University of Texas
4 - self conscious needs a hyphen: self-conscious but it is the wrong word here! I think you mean this: As...
Undergraduatet_m_c - Feb 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2010
|10th Grade Paper - "What is something that has impacted your life?"
Undergraduatesjsauve - Feb 3, 2010 / zahoora - Feb 5, 2010
|Bowdoin Supplement - "School comes first, hockey second"
2 - One sentence: I could stay at home and finish high school with my friends, or I could move three...
Undergraduatebardown13 - Feb 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 5, 2010
|Why OSU? Hard work, resources and research facilities
Undergraduatesourav90 - Feb 3, 2010 / sourav90 - Feb 5, 2010
|Goizueta Essay on Leadership
5 - No, I don't think it digresses in a bad way. A conclusion often adds "something extra," a little additional...
Undergraduatemhusmani - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 4, 2010
|Why I want to research Chemistry
Undergraduatecrystal19 - Feb 3, 2010 / yang - Feb 4, 2010
|About myself and undergraduate studies (a stable and challenging career)
3 - 1. I don't think you need to state your name again in the essay. 2. The second paragraph, esp...
UndergraduateMasenziee - Feb 3, 2010 / chat - Feb 4, 2010
|College Personal Essay help ("I don't lie through my art").
4 - Ha ha, it's because the correct spelling is SO different from the way you would expect it to be!...
Undergraduateonemoreparadise - Feb 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 4, 2010
|NY City, area of interest, NYU-Poly - essay prompts, kindly review
2 - Ever s Since I was a kid, I've been interested in both engineering and medicine. The field of...
Undergraduatealphacat92 - Feb 4, 2010 / EF_Susan - Feb 4, 2010
|"hard work and honesty" - My fascination with cornell, transfer essay
10 - thanx all of u guys...i would diffinately work on it again and get back to u guys...u guys are...
Undergraduateazupwah - Feb 1, 2010 / azupwah - Feb 4, 2010
|"effortless to answer" - AUC Admissions Essay: Why are you applying to AUC?
Undergraduaterikacollege91 - Feb 2, 2010 / rikacollege91 - Feb 3, 2010
|admissons to ai (Art Institute of Vancouver)
Undergraduatelullaby - Feb 3, 2010 / Rachach6 - Feb 3, 2010
|How to write statement of purpose?- University of Texas transfer essay A
Undergraduateap178 - Feb 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|Common App (Elaborate on an Activity -Music)
3 - cliche! Writing and listening to it gives writing and listening give... While I was growing up...
UndergraduateRrodriguez - Feb 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|Raised as the 7th child of eight children; it's hard to fail but worse never to have tired to succed
Undergraduatesashafierce10 - Feb 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|"Why I chose to major in Nursing" - Help on a cause and effect thesis
6 - Nope, it's because peruse is a real word! That's why essayforu is important. Spell checkers can't catch errors when...
Undergraduateakmgators - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|Just an essay about myself (my dad, South Korea)
2 - My dad's recollection of the 1960's in South Korea is quite different from what you might expect. an...
Undergraduatejenny1991kr - Feb 2, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|MASS. College of Pharmacy and healtcare Suggestions?
2 - Right here is the powerful part where you show the reader the significance of their deaths to your...
Undergraduatestars11 - Feb 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 3, 2010
|Great interest into helping people, especially children, University of Michigan
Undergraduatejjinko - Feb 1, 2010 / jjinko - Feb 3, 2010
|My view on diversity...DePauw supplement...
10 - Thanks KEvin! Yeah I have already submitted it. But never mind. Since it's for DePauw, a comparatively less selective...
UndergraduateWanderer_x - Jan 29, 2010 / Wanderer_x - Feb 3, 2010
|Coming from Korea and distraction from girls- UWisconsin Madison #2 essay
3 - Coming from a country like Korea, where the culture and education were very different, I inevitably faced many difficulties...
UndergraduateRedleaflets - Jan 26, 2010 / Moonshadow0302 - Feb 3, 2010
|UC Berkeley graduate admission essay - Achievement
Undergraduatejoemartin84 - Feb 1, 2010 / joemartin84 - Feb 2, 2010
|"Sing with your heart, not with your mouth." - Gettysburg Supplement.
Undergraduatedakidinblue215 - Feb 1, 2010 / MementoMori - Feb 2, 2010
|my interest in science and physiology - Essay for Pharmacy School Admissions
3 - This sentence seems strange: As I would like to remain in Montana, where I am central to both family...
Undergraduatekyleannkelsey - Feb 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|Lehigh University Admissions Officer letter ("I anxiously wait for my decision")
UndergraduateNKBaseballbum18 - Jan 31, 2010 / srandhawa - Feb 2, 2010
|UT Liberal Arts School, Sociology major with a minor in Business Foundation, SOP
6 - This is confusingly awkward. how about: Understanding how and why social conditions such as these are allowed to...
Undergraduatemlangan - Jan 28, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|USC transfer majoring in communication: What Matters to Me and Why
Undergraduatebilibala - Feb 1, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|Franklin and Marshall Supplement Essay -- my desire to be a future physicist.
UndergraduateVikramUpa - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|Gettysburg College: Why? Why? Why did you choose us?
Undergraduatesalbazili - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|Academic History: University of Washington essay revision
3 - ...a blanket of dismay and disgust. ---- no comma necessary here. You are a good writer; how did...
Undergraduatethestatus02 - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|neurological and social causes and treatments for anxiety disorder-UT Austin SOP
5 - No, it should be a statement of your PURPOSE. You should show them that you have a well-defined...
UndergraduateHelicopterparty - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 2, 2010
|Life is short and my ambitions are many-Transfer-Personal statement
UndergraduatePrincessNibi - Jan 30, 2010 / PrincessNibi - Feb 2, 2010
|Dear Diary-- Describe yourself in a letter
UndergraduateJS2010 - Jan 13, 2010 / Moonshadow0302 - Feb 2, 2010
|"to obtain a degree in engineering" - my City College (CUNY) supplement
4 - I have chosen to pursue a degree in engineering because I want to continue to build my knowledge of...
Undergraduateashyy1992 - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 1, 2010
|MICA - autobiographical essay -"Since Kindergarten"
3 - Shouldn't it be like this? The paper in front of me rapidly evolved from a blank canvas into a...
Undergraduatekrissyy8 - Feb 1, 2010 / nishh - Feb 1, 2010
|human personality, law - University of Chicago essay
6 - it answers it, but i think it does so too directly meaning, its like a math question, heres the...
UndergraduateDre1 - Jan 29, 2010 / srandhawa - Feb 1, 2010
|Essay for UW Madison (just describing a story, not a resume :)
3 - However, I am positive few can state having had that kind of diverse experience like me. I was...
Undergraduateivancense - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Susan - Feb 1, 2010
|Penn State -- yourself, your experiences, or activities
6 - I moved to California from Nigeria two years ago, convinced and determined to succeed. While I was in Nigeria...
Undergraduatechukszum - Jan 30, 2010 / EF_Susan - Feb 1, 2010
|the Korean community, true hero: common application inspiration
4 - Instead of being passive here in your language, why not lighten it up more and use active, more...
Undergraduateakim1031 - Feb 1, 2010 / Envie - Feb 1, 2010
|Psychology? U of Colorado, Boulder: Optional Personal Essay
2 - Hello, Upon reading this essay, the first question that comes to mind is: have you covered this information...
Undergraduateklusterfunk - Feb 1, 2010 / ivyeyesediting - Feb 1, 2010
|UT Psychology transfer. Statement of Purpose. Human Interaction
3 - I think your essay would be better if you start with paragraph two, then three, then use your first...
Undergraduatebaguar - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Susan - Feb 1, 2010
|Rough draft--Reflection on Goals, University of North Carolina at Wilmington
3 - When you make your thread titles, please use words that will help people to search EssayForum in the future...
Undergraduatelisabrooke3292 - Jan 31, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Feb 1, 2010
|College Rap on "Perseverance " for UVA, Lemme know what you think?
7 - Very nice! I could really feel the flow, and the structure ties to a rhythm very nicely. It's...
Undergraduatedamo - Jan 2, 2010 / klusterfunk - Feb 1, 2010
|'My mother is an economist - manager'; Motivation leter for Aarhus university of Denmark
UndergraduateDangere - Jan 31, 2010 / xoxo - Feb 1, 2010
|U of M- "New Zealand on the International Scene," respect for diversity
4 - Thank you very much, Kevin and srandhawa! Your comments helped me alot! I've revised my essay according to your...
Undergraduatekiwi90 - Jan 29, 2010 / kiwi90 - Feb 1, 2010
|"born into an unstable family" - FSU admission essay
Undergraduatecarimendez20 - Jan 16, 2010 / niloo - Feb 1, 2010
|My greatest contribution to Franklin & Marshall would be supporting its mission
9 - Huh? ofcourse it is.. we are sharing ideas here.. not essays.. tnx.. i will find it.. btw its still...
Undergraduatemarpals - Jan 27, 2010 / marpals - Feb 1, 2010
|"My singaporian friend" - University of Michigan. Need to make changes
Undergraduatemaribenn2010 - Jan 31, 2010 / maribenn2010 - Jan 31, 2010
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