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|Anxiety may even kill you, but it may also lead to poor decision-making, thinking, and socialization
3 - I asked my friends who had participate d in the same activities for advice on how to cure these...
UndergraduateKenny Z - Jan 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 17, 2010
|"electrical engineering" - Discuss your short and long-term goals and priorities
3 - You write so well! The first sentence of the essay seems a little strange, because technology IS the way...
UndergraduateKenny Z - Jan 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 17, 2010
|Girls, Girls, Girls- Common Short Essay
21 - I have to agree with the poster here who said that your essay would be refreshing to a person...
UndergraduatemaXimumeXposure - Jan 8, 2010 / klusterfunk - Jan 17, 2010
|(childhood in the Arabian Gulf) - Culture and Diversity essay
NEW - "We know that diversity makes us a better university -- better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."...
Undergraduateklusterfunk - Jan 17, 2010 / — -
|Bullying - Essay about an unfair situation
3 - That first paragraph is one long definition. It should be more than a definition. End your first paragraph with...
UndergraduateKenny Z - Jan 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|Whats up roommate? kind of essay
4 - These past four were hard work were they not? From maintaining grades to cramming f or tests and quizzes,...
Undergraduatesyookhong - Jan 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|"convenience, ardor, and majors" - UCF Admission Essay - why I chose UCF
3 - Yes, I have to agree with Boxin. That first para is all fluff. the trick is to write something...
UndergraduateMrSoupy - Jan 9, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|USC Undergad Essay "What Matters To Me and Why?"
3 - "thing" is always a weak word. Responsibilities are things that everyone has, but are not things that everyone can...
UndergraduateJonV92 - Jan 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|Rhodes College Supplement Essay- 'Why Rhodes?' - my dream.
4 - Don't regret it; you're definitely right. My changes were only minute corrections. When I'm unsure of a word,...
Undergraduatebilal530 - Jan 14, 2010 / a9961m - Jan 16, 2010
|Georgetown Main Essay: Tell the Admissions Coucil about yourself
8 - first off your closing statement has a grammar error, all of them have had doorframes are tall enough for...
UndergraduateSerendipity545 - Jan 15, 2010 / srandhawa - Jan 16, 2010
|Admission Essay for Texas A&M University "Essay C" - Hardships in the past
3 - But unfortunately, our family had to face the brutal consequences of the American Dream.----- Wow, this is so intriguing!...
Undergraduatebang688 - Jan 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|Common App. Essay. WORST ESSAY OF MY LIFE.
4 - Well, this is a high-risk approach only to the extent that you expect the reader to be judgmental about...
UndergraduateAkensheye - Jan 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|My Common App main Essay - Unsolved mystery of my life
Undergraduatecoffee2262 - Jan 1, 2010 / linus777 - Jan 16, 2010
|My interest in Bio- short essay
UndergraduatemaXimumeXposure - Jan 8, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|I absolutely love the notion of diverse community; U Maryland College
3 - Yes, the first para is awkward. Divirsity is not vigorous. If you want to say it is vigorous, you...
UndergraduateJ724 - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|Experiences in improving health care to underserved populations
5 - As a young girl in India, I remember tagging along with my parents to rural villages in India. I...
Undergraduatebadromance - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|"Father from South American country, I moved to Orlando" - UCF Application Essay
Undergraduatehondacrxblk - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 16, 2010
|The Impact of Being a Twin (Common App essay)
Undergraduateacsokoloff - Jan 15, 2010 / acsokoloff - Jan 16, 2010
|Tufts Supplement: Many forms of self expression - contributing to the Class of 2014
8 - I honestly do not think that you need to address the question directly. THIS is your voice that you...
UndergraduateMSetYo - Dec 28, 2009 / NTabachnik - Jan 16, 2010
|Common APP Essay- High School Basketball Chronicles
Undergraduatebilal530 - Jan 4, 2010 / aubs06 - Jan 16, 2010
|"to make a successful transition to college" - what does this question mean?
2 - The transition is moving forward from high school to college. A successful transition could include but not limit:...
Undergraduateonetwothree - Jan 15, 2010 / Sean Major - Jan 16, 2010
|Tufts Supplement-what voice will you add to the Class of 2014
5 - I really enjoyed reading these essays. They provided a window into your life, and they showed your ability to...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 11, 2009 / NTabachnik - Jan 16, 2010
|My father - Daniel - has had the largest impact on my life
6 - Although both my parents have influenced me, it is my father, Daniel, who has influenced me the more....
Undergraduatetheonejosue - Jan 6, 2010 / Yoghurtlovely - Jan 16, 2010
|"that missing part of my education" - Transfer Uconn Essay First Draft
3 - I would devote my time to work towards and to learn to maintain a healthy balance between a job...
Undergraduatecjvornkahl - Jan 13, 2010 / Yoghurtlovely - Jan 16, 2010
|Georgetown EFS Prompt, current global issue (medicine)
UndergraduateSerendipity545 - Jan 15, 2010 / Logical_Fella_C - Jan 15, 2010
|"quirky, independently-minded partner" - Why Vassar essay
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Jan 1, 2010 / Ivy_Equestrian - Jan 15, 2010
|Honor Code essay. How do I make this more fun to read?
Undergraduatekeilinger - Jan 15, 2010 / keilinger - Jan 15, 2010
|"my favorite class:Organic Chemistry", Why Emory Supplement-Intro and Conclusion
Undergraduatetwizzlestraw - Jan 15, 2010 / twizzlestraw - Jan 15, 2010
|Why Wellesley supplement-- women in my country
5 - Thanks A LOT Andrew! Great suggestions. I'll try to implement them now best as I can, though I'm a...
UndergraduateTechniquelor - Jan 14, 2010 / Techniquelor - Jan 15, 2010
|The Grand Leader - some one who made an impact in my life
2 - life...and in those nine years it has been are full of fantastic memories. She's has been a great...
Undergraduatesnicol2010 - Jan 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Consumerism driven by Architecture -UT prompt.
Undergraduatealopez06 - Jan 14, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Application to Summer Program (@MIT, process similar to MIT application)
3 - Woah, slow down! One thought at a time. Let's cover neuroscience before we move on to the brain...
Undergraduateapicalmeristem - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Northwestern Common Application Supplement: Why Engineering is a Hobby of Mine
3 - First, I think the first sentence of this essay is too boring and simple. It will be better to...
Undergraduategrocks6 - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|"an effortless answer to all of my problems" the University of Michigan essay
4 - When you put 2 complete sentences together as a compound sentence, use a comma: High school was replete with...
Undergraduatelaxboi33 - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Branching Out my Roots (My short and long-term goals)
3 - I think it is stronger without willing: As intimidating as it may seem, I'm a willing and hoping to...
Undergraduatelowcal - Jan 7, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|ACTIVITIES AND LEADERSHIP essay, how does it look? Improvements?
4 - Right after this sentence, I think you should do a paragraph break. paragraph 2: In the minds...
Undergraduatesooshi - Jan 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|'Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu..' - Haverford- Honor Code essay
7 - I need to submit this in just an hour, so please could somebody read though it??? I promisse I...
UndergraduateGummiebaer - Jan 15, 2010 / Gummiebaer - Jan 15, 2010
|My life as an adventure tale...Colgate prompt
4 - This is a really good start and I think you make a really interesting and good connection between the...
Undergraduatenogasa - Jan 15, 2010 / acsokoloff - Jan 15, 2010
|"We hadn't been partners!" - how to contribute essay, help me pls
4 - So you have to cut it down to 700 characters? That is terrible. Well, you have a beautiful last...
Undergraduatekatze34 - Jan 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|The Pepperdine essay is a bit of a toughie! Did I answer the prompt well?
7 - For a moment, these four, daunting words seemed to cloud the awe-inspiring ten words that were so engraved in...
Undergraduatesupafit - Jan 6, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Common App Essay -- In the Arms of the Angel!
3 - ...seemed to draw you me in like a light at the end of the tunnel.-------you already started writing...
Undergraduatesupafit - Jan 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|student ratio, business orientation, new heights - EMORY why emory?
10 - I think your edited version looks great to me. Maybe the part about Emory's acticities could be more Emory...
Undergraduatedamo - Jan 13, 2010 / jindu85 - Jan 15, 2010
|Colgate University short answer, 250 words max. (my multicultural roots)
3 - It is a very nice essay sbout your diversity. but I don't think you have answered the "what you...
Undergraduateyoungeebs - Jan 13, 2010 / jindu85 - Jan 15, 2010
|Bard Supplement Essay - Role of non-commercial art in our Society
Undergraduateyasi_kiki - Jan 5, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Diversity essay on familly dinners, needs help
NEW - I know its really rough but all the feedback helps thanks! Many people describe family dinners as dysfunctional...
Undergraduatestuckatschool - Jan 15, 2010 / — -
|The inspiration of my mother- Common App personal essay
Undergraduatelexi716 - Dec 17, 2009 / akim1031 - Jan 15, 2010
|Natural Reflection - Williams College Supplementary Window Essay
3 - My gaze moves from my empty bowl to the window of my tent. I observe the rugged landscape around...
Undergraduatenkidd23 - Jan 14, 2010 / rapoch - Jan 15, 2010
|Favourite book, teacher and subject (really short answers).
Undergraduatepoisonivy - Jan 13, 2010 / Chrome - Jan 15, 2010
|"Archie's comics" - a horribly written essay for mount holyoke-criticism wanted
Undergraduateibtessam - Jan 14, 2010 / poisonivy - Jan 15, 2010
|Family Experience and How it Affects my Educational Goals - UW Prompt
2 - What a nice essay! I think you should tell what your educational goals are, do you know yet, what...
UndergraduateCantGetStarted - Jan 14, 2010 / EF_Susan - Jan 15, 2010
|My interest in social work originates from my inner desire to benefit the lives of others
3 - Instead of being the one making the reports, I wanted to be the one that was being reported too....
Undergraduatemommao - Jan 13, 2010 / pharmd9 - Jan 15, 2010
|Sentence structure problem, a rough beginning (liberal arts career)
3 - Lang boasts ample opportunities for me to apply myself, explore my passions, and ultimately find my true niche in...
Undergraduategbee - Jan 15, 2010 / iRunShow - Jan 15, 2010
|"a strong Greek system" - Transfer common app essay - emory
Undergraduateasdfg123 - Jan 13, 2010 / pharmd9 - Jan 15, 2010
|Admission Essay- Badminton's Influence On Me
Undergraduatec2lee - Jan 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|US Naval Academy - Initial Interest and Personal Experience leading to Char. Dev
UndergraduateInfiniteswg - Jan 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|"Swedish language, Facing the challenge" -My college essay, what do you think?
3 - Excellent! You explained this very well, and I think this essay has some great sentences -- you write very...
UndergraduateYoghurtlovely - Jan 13, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|Skidmore's supplemental essay: Passion for Skidmore's International...
Undergraduatekldini - Jan 10, 2010 / kldini - Jan 15, 2010
|IM LETTING MY LIFE SPEAK...but its not coming out right. (TUFTS!)
3 - That's cute... This culture has been inescapable,extensive and securing. -------- these need explanations. As it is now,...
Undergraduateyikescollege - Jan 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 15, 2010
|'Gift not for trade' -Tufts the environment in which you were raised shaped you
5 - Great line! Those four-mile Sunday walks shaped my childhood, and they laid the framework for the person...
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Jan 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 14, 2010
|Georgia Tech - "My love for the game"
Undergraduatebrownboy12 - Jan 4, 2010 / EF_Kevin - Jan 14, 2010
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