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|Culture is what presents us with the kinds of valuable things that can fill a life. Princeton Essay.
2 - Good job. Here are my suggestions. I have adopted the majority of my morals from my mother and the...
UndergraduateMelaniaP - Dec 28, 2015 / kabir19116 - Dec 28, 2015
|Wesleyan Supplement - practical value of a liberal arts education -
4 - Shuto, using "Because" to start each reason that you present makes the essay repetitive and makes you sound like...
Undergraduateshuto - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 28, 2015
|Council of Aid for Central Asian Jews day camp - Vassar supplement on extracurricular experience
2 - Diana, I am not sure why you are discussing isolation at the end of your essay when the lesson...
Undergraduatemacarongrl - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 28, 2015
|After hearing about Penn, I knew that it is the unparalleled university - interests essay
2 - Despite the fact that I was born and brought up in India. I recognized myself in US, the land...
Undergraduateeditingessays56 - Dec 28, 2015 / mahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015
|'The poorly made bed structured with Bamboo and stones' - Common App Essay 1; My background
2 - Your essay is very strong and balances your background story and how it shaped you today. Its a good...
Undergraduatekabir19116 - Dec 28, 2015 / mahlet_h - Dec 28, 2015
|'Always passionate about how stuff works' The question: Why am I choosing mechanical engineering?
NEW - Please provide an essay that explains why you chose your intended program of study. What interests you the most...
Undergraduateuniquebilal - Dec 28, 2015 / — -
|College Essay: Something meaningful about yourself application wouldn't be complete with out it
2 - Once I was settled I was asked things like But However, another part of me was devastated ......
Undergraduatemaggieudo - Dec 27, 2015 / Fia0910 - Dec 28, 2015
|This essay is for my Duke application and I was wondering if it would be considered good. Im tryna
4 - Hi there.i just want to give you some tips about duke. From what I have heard, Duke values diversity...
Undergraduatemahlet_h - Dec 27, 2015 / bonboncase - Dec 27, 2015
|I am attempting to transfer to Texas A&M as an animal sciences major Help me reach my goals!
4 - Epilog, after my loss I dove into school joining the national honor society, the Spanish club and, theater club....
Undergraduateashten94 - Dec 21, 2015 / ashten94 - Dec 27, 2015
|Transformation is not just a change. Change is often reversible - UG Essay on transition to an adult
2 - Drumil, this is a very unique take on the informal transition to adulthood on your part. It is something...
Undergraduatedrewz14 - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Brandeis supplement for internationals. What can you bring to the community of Brandeis
4 - El, pick up the edit of your essay from this portion: Berbers are remarkable and we could all...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Places where I have lived? / existing within a community? BROWN SUPPLEMENTS
6 - Grammar fix: people from other cultures such as: Venezuelans , Colombians , Chileans , and Cubans , among others....
Undergraduateeber2016 - Dec 27, 2015 / funny - Dec 27, 2015
|MIT ESSAY: The most significant challenge I've faced. Rebuild my life in a different country
UndergraduateVictorJac - Dec 27, 2015 / VictorJac - Dec 27, 2015
|'To solve the undiscovered' - Coming of Age Common Application Essay
Undergraduatemzhang - Dec 26, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 27, 2015
|All my life I have been taught to ask why, to question, to explore - "WHY BROWN?" Supplement essay
5 - Louisa, it is very insightful indeed, thank you! I love the use of the quote, it makes it sound...
Undergraduateeber2016 - Dec 27, 2015 / eber2016 - Dec 27, 2015
|Moroccan citizen willing to serve those less fortunate - transition from childhood to adulthood
4 - Amine, the first thing that I would do in the essay is change the current opening statement. I feel...
UndergraduateAmineNaitlho - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|Brandeis Supplement Essay for what is your dream 250 words or fewer
9 - El, I edited the essay for content. I tightened the focus by deleting some parts that are either irrelevant...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|I have realized the importance of communication. Stanford Essay - Intellectual Vitality
4 - Mohib, I believe that between the two scenarios you presented, the one that you should develop more would be...
Undergraduatemohibraza - Dec 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|"Family tragedy taught me my strength" - Georgetown's "describe yourself" essay
Undergraduatelilbean - Dec 26, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 27, 2015
|Carnegie Mellon supplement on Engineering - Nature drives design. Design drives nature.
4 - Christopher, if you are worried about plagiarism, then, when you are done with consulting with us here at the...
Undergraduateckko817 - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|The MIU of Arts & Design school can help me to become a brand owner and to open a fashion store
3 - Serji, here is a word of advice, don't be so presumptuous in your essay. The way you talk, it...
Undergraduatesurge12 - Dec 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 27, 2015
|"Technological Advancement"; University of Wisconsin-Madison: Something Unnoticed
Undergraduatetvice01 - Dec 23, 2015 / tvice01 - Dec 26, 2015
|What makes you unique? What can you contribute to the Marymount community that no one else can?
2 - Asad Seeyab belonging from theI belong to the mountainous and remote area of Gilgit Baltistan(GB),in the Northern part of...
UndergraduateAsadseeyab - Dec 26, 2015 / lilbean - Dec 26, 2015
|'openness of the students' - My Why Northwestern Essay - Not sure if it's too generic?
4 - I really like how you mention the specific programs and research opportunities you would take advantage of and how...
Undergraduatepatels2 - Dec 26, 2015 / mzhang - Dec 26, 2015
|Situations that may have had an impact, either positively or negatively, on your academic record MSU
3 - Lina, the only part of the new prompt that your essay contains as a response is the part that...
UndergraduateItsLinaTho - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|BU CGS program drew me in instantly - intrigued by the fields of Political Science and Economics
3 - Nicolette, since you have room to spare in the statement discussion, you should work on developing the CGS idea...
Undergraduatenikkix3 - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|Joke obsession- William and Mary Supplement- What makes you unique?
UndergraduateLPSZEZSNE - Dec 23, 2015 / LPSZEZSNE - Dec 26, 2015
|Why Northwestern? It offers a top-tier education with its scenic lakefront campus
4 - Wendi, Same as @vangiespen, I also think your why Northwestern essay could be better if you can add...
Undergraduatekhurui - Dec 24, 2015 / janet777 - Dec 26, 2015
|UWC Application Essay Reflecting on UWC's values
4 - Ama, the introduction is good enough. It is not as catchy as it should be but then again, the...
UndergraduateAman4 - Dec 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|"Team Wales has won this debate" Common Application essay about prompt number 2 - Failure
3 - El, your discussion needs to come from a more personal level. Don't waste the space by discussing a blow...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|"Daddy, can we together build an airplane in the shape of a teddy bear?" - WashU Engineering essay
2 - Chen, I would suggest that you cut down on the backgrounder for your story. The part about the airplane...
Undergraduateaudimadeline - Dec 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|Flagler Admissions Essay, The topic is to write about a single event or theme that describes
2 - Kimberly, I applaud you for your statement. This is a topic that I believe will touch the heartstrings of...
Undergraduatekbreede - Dec 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|Applying to the Trinity College of Arts and Sciences as a first year applicant - why Duke
Undergraduatejiwan1 - Dec 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|Our plan to eliminate the stigma of mental illness - Princeton Supplement Essay
3 - Steven, if you revise the essay to instead concentrate on a personal extra curricular activity instead of a group...
Undergraduatestevenkaufmann - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done"
5 - Thank you very much @vangiespen I thought long and gard about this topic and I changed. You are absolutely...
Undergraduateamounenaitlho - Dec 23, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 26, 2015
|My sister recommended this school with a great passion; admissions essay - WHY NYUAD?
3 - Ansah, the information that you included in this essay is really information that does not offer a true personal...
UndergraduateGJ_A - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|My trip to Nepal - Disciplinary Supplement
2 - Kris, while I understand that these events may have occurred during the recent past, it is always important to...
Undergraduatebosskv - Dec 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|College application! Reflecting on personal goals...
3 - Joelle, you have successfully represented the reasons that UNC will be able to help you develop as a person...
Undergraduatejoxxelle - Dec 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|Parsons Essay challenge .. title is Weirdo
3 - Pidza, I know and undersatand that you titled your piece of writing "Wierdo", the question I have for you...
UndergraduatePizdaaumaa - Dec 21, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 26, 2015
|"I've lost 8 of my loved ones" - Stanford essays: what matters and why? Letter to Roommate.
2 - Both are really good essay but could be alittle tweaked. First of all I think that you dont fully...
Undergraduatemanpreet12 - Dec 25, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 25, 2015
|Back to Square one my Personal Essay for the Common App (background, identity, interest)
UndergraduateMaxM - Dec 24, 2015 / Ssakshijain - Dec 25, 2015
|I will never regard difficulties as defeats again but as opportunities to enlarge my achievements.
Undergraduatedreamhigh - Dec 24, 2015 / dreamhigh - Dec 24, 2015
|Cornell Architecture essay: How my interests combine
3 - thank you so much! My common app essay is all about figure drawing. I don't think i have room...
Undergraduatearchii - Dec 23, 2015 / archii - Dec 24, 2015
|Ever since I began high school as a short, geeky freshman, I could not wait for college WHY SYRACUSE
5 - Thank you everyone. I actually fixed the essay up a bit, if you guys could comment suggestions about this,...
Undergraduatecollegebound200 - Dec 22, 2015 / collegebound200 - Dec 23, 2015
|I need help to nail my common app essay about my background for Hamilton College
2 - Dating back to 2008, Zimbabwe faced one of the worst economic depressions. Mother is a teacher at a local...
UndergraduateSCHAKOMA - Dec 23, 2015 / archii - Dec 23, 2015
|'spirit of education' - Syracuse University Questions: Hasn't been seen by anyone!
Undergraduatearchii - Dec 23, 2015 / collegebound200 - Dec 23, 2015
|This is my essay for Princeton not quite done but i need some help because i really want to go here!
2 - hi tiana, this is an interesting essay. allow me to give some suggestion here. Better if you use gerund...
UndergraduateTianaM16 - Dec 23, 2015 / Ejepe - Dec 23, 2015
|Title: FOG----Parsons Challenge Essay :)
2 - Over the last 2 years there have been periods when I have feltI feel lost in my twisted mind,...
UndergraduatePizdaaumaa00 - Dec 23, 2015 / LPSZEZSNE - Dec 23, 2015
|"Bouncing Back is What Counts!" Help with CommonApp Essay Q#2 on a failure. Is this unique enough?
4 - hey I am also witing the common app essay number two and it would appreciate some help with it....
UndergraduateKatieJoy - Dec 23, 2015 / amounenaitlho - Dec 23, 2015
|What have you done to serve others around you? Global Undergraduate Exchange Program
Undergraduatevietdung - Dec 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 23, 2015
|"The failure that taught me a lot" - my fall became a stepping-stone rather than a setback
3 - Thanks a lot!! I don't know how to express my gratitude. I am not good at writing in English,...
UndergraduateCarl - Dec 21, 2015 / Carl - Dec 23, 2015
|Common App Essay (PROMPT #1: Your Application would be incomplete without this X thing)
3 - I felt like that wasn't necessary because my application should show my extensive success @ debate (Nationally ranked; champion...
Undergraduatejai127 - Dec 22, 2015 / jai127 - Dec 22, 2015
|UVA supplements - Quirks and Literature that has unsetteled you
2 - i'm a thief. I pick my victims carefully. I've been a thief since second grade. Although spelling baffled me,...
UndergraduateChels4afu - Dec 21, 2015 / TampaTutorEric - Dec 22, 2015
|I wake up to the sound of an angry Korean mother -- Rice Perspective Essay
2 - You go into detail about your experiences, but you don't show enough of how its changed you and what...
Undergraduatejmc33 - Dec 21, 2015 / Chels4afu - Dec 22, 2015
|University of Chicago Undergraduate Application- Extended Essay and first supplemental.
2 - Some may believe that obtaining the solution to this question is impossible, and that anyone endeavoring to do so...
UndergraduateDaanish375 - Dec 22, 2015 / Chels4afu - Dec 22, 2015
|Parents mistake - I rely on myself to get what I want to achieve. Personal statement
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 28, 2015 / katiedirt4 - Dec 22, 2015
|"Challenging" would be the first word that I would use to describe Boston. Why BU is a good fit.
2 - it lacks a lot of specifics, which colleges like to see in these type of "why this college?" essays....
Undergraduatejenjen33 - Dec 21, 2015 / ckko817 - Dec 21, 2015
|"I dont want to do anything in my life but draw" SCAD statement of purpose.
5 - If you don't want to do anything in your life but draw, maybe that means you think of EVERYTHING...
Undergraduatekokoruu - Dec 19, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2015
|Mysterious Future Goals: Sentence structures and grammars are my prior enemy.
3 - Denise, the first problem with your essays is that you did not separate the topics by prompt so that...
UndergraduateDeniseHooi - Dec 20, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 21, 2015
|Describe the influence your hero has had on your life.
3 - Hello! I would like to give some suggestions ! He is a hardworking team player has helped the...
Undergraduateroshan1 - Dec 20, 2015 / Samuelsam123 - Dec 21, 2015
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