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|Transcripts from Community College Courses- Stanford
2 - Ask Stanford? if you are applying as a transfer, id imagine theyd want a transcript as soon as...
Undergraduateshannon92 - Jan 6, 2010 / Liebe - Jan 6, 2010
|bates supplement - how to highlight vitality?
9 - i just saw this and i have already applied but ill just say thanks thats exactly wat my brother...
Undergraduateumulbaneen - Dec 27, 2009 / umulbaneen - Jan 6, 2010
|Rochester Supplement Essay- How I will contribute to Rochester.
3 - Yes, too short. However, I find these remedies to be ineffective against in comparison with pharmaceuticals. Despite...
Undergraduatesaadishtiaq - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Experiences that made you leave your comfort zone - University of Richmond
2 - When I was seven-years-old I had to leave Japan and move to Chesapeake, Virginia, because my father was stationed...
UndergraduateJustineee - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|the Universe: Stanford Supplement: Intellectual Vitality Short Essay
5 - Finally, if the Universe has just the critical mass necessary to slow the expansion to a constant-size, space is...
Undergraduatelapsi95 - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Academic interests that all started with books- Cornell CAS
2 - When I arrived in the States as a six year-old, my parents believed that assimilation was my top priority....
Undergraduatexjohnx92 - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Common App Essay: A Dream with all my Dreams
8 - I am lying on my bed, exhausted after completing my homework and am glad to finally have a chance...
Undergraduateobituary - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|"My Mantra" - Common Application Essay
6 - Among the list of various proverbs and silly mottos that my Romanian mother has provided me with, this...
UndergraduateKupcakeKim - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Reverie - NYU supplement - 2050 movie on your life
9 - ...but can she convince humans to choose reality over a virtual paradise? Ha ha, very clever. I really...
Undergraduategumdrop41 - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|"Prejudice is at the heart of misunderstanding." - Common App Essay
4 - When I read that first paragraph, I think that you should move everything after this into paragraph 2: After...
Undergraduatetwixster - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Colby college admission essay: comment and relate to the following quote !
4 - Yeah, sorry about that. I think a lot of people are feeling that way, because we are still trying...
Undergraduateikkim12 - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Labor vs. International Relations!
4 - I still feel like it lacks a concrete voice of who you are. Illustrative examples of the field you...
Undergraduateddragonx34 - Jan 2, 2010 / aquamarine84 - Jan 6, 2010
|Smith essay! (Is a women's college still relevant in 2009?& WHY SMITH.)
2 - "So there I met Smith College and surprised" so there i met smith college alumni?representatives and was surprised....
Undergraduatelinhexi - Jan 6, 2010 / umulbaneen - Jan 6, 2010
|Why Am I interested in Engineering? - Cornell Supplement
3 - I think I may have commented on another of your essays recently, and I think I remember saying...
Undergraduatedorkiilove - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|"Twirling Noodles" - Occidental Supplement - Personal Habits
Undergraduatecucciola21 - Dec 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Yale Supplement Essay - The Barn Fire
4 - Slowly, seductively, a tantalizing finger... I don't know if it is good to turn it erotic, with tantalizing...
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Essay for Appalachian State..Open Forum..
4 - I think that what you should add to the last paragraph is some discussion of your SPECIFIC goals. In...
UndergraduateJessays321 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|"cluttered exterior" - Stanford Short Response- To a roomate
Undergraduatejustbee - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|"I am Chinese. I am Filipino. I am Canadian." - Stanford Roommate Supplement
10 - I can already see your loveliness in this essay. But I also agree with daisyx3. Wish you luck....
Undergraduatepatay - Jan 1, 2010 / Thyme - Jan 6, 2010
|Education, curriculum, liberty, more - Brown University - Why Brown Short Answer
4 - I would use "freedoms" and a dash here: ...and introduced to me new freedoms: the freedom to explore, the...
Undergraduatemagicdazn - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Stanford Supplement Essay : Character count problems, one paragraph?
UndergraduateZlop - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 6, 2010
|Common Application Essay (Sticks and Stones)
9 - daniel.. It actually sounds good now(despite few problems in wording)...work on it and you ll have a fine essay....
Undergraduatedlev11 - Jan 4, 2010 / Wanderer_x - Jan 6, 2010
|Why Penn Supplemental Essay-------Merging Medicine and Finance at Wharton
6 - this shit is not going to work for them. that's how one person i know started their essay. its...
Undergraduatertgrove123 - Dec 28, 2009 / smallick13 - Jan 5, 2010
|NYU (summer in Italy, new yorker - Alicia Keys, poem, movie, program of interest
6 - musicislife3128 chelsea, i think u are on the right route but i am sure i read something similar...
Undergraduatemusicislife3128 - Jan 1, 2010 / smallick13 - Jan 5, 2010
|UPenn supplement essay -what I can contribute to community
UndergraduateHBZ - Dec 28, 2009 / smallick13 - Jan 5, 2010
|Why (or why not)? Perhaps the key question is "Why in between?"
22 - Thank You :). I'm glad you like it, so far everyone who read it likes it. Hopefully everyone will...
Undergraduateqomoco - Oct 27, 2009 / qomoco - Jan 5, 2010
|My mission to give back to struggling communities; My Tutoring Experience
UndergraduateOne - Jan 2, 2010 / melisa814 - Jan 5, 2010
|the biomedical program, What makes the University of Rochester good fit for you?
4 - Rochester allows its students to participate in research without restrictions. Instead of saying this, you can give an example...
UndergraduatePlayerquadratic - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|Common App Identity- I am an individual (not cliche)
2 - It is better to say Caucasian instead of white. Before I was even able read, write, and perceive...
UndergraduateMSetYo - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|SU(SYRACUSE) SHORT ANSWER: WHO/WHY INFLUENCED YOU.
3 - Creativity has a place always. Straightforward is good, though, because this is such a serious question. Use...
UndergraduateCobraRose - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|making a successful musical - my additional information for uva
4 - Being an international student has been a very precious experience. in my life. Kill the unnecessary words. :-) ...
Undergraduatekineatzz - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|"a resident of Taiwan" - rice short supplement. why the school of study?
Undergraduatem126531 - Dec 28, 2009 / syookhong - Jan 5, 2010
|Amherst College Supplemental Essay - Swimming Up
5 - I found a run-on sentence! -----> The strength to swim on with the team required much more than physical...
Undergraduatejyu104 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|Hindi:Tell us about an intelectual experience or project that has influenced you
7 - Let's focus on this sentence to refine the essay: But the grey uniforms they wore seemed too big...
UndergraduateLeaUWC - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 5, 2010
|Essay on DEATH METAL! (personal issue)
NEW - Please help me on grammar and provide any comments or suggestions! Thanks in advance!! TOPIC: Discuss some issue...
Undergraduatesyookhong - Jan 5, 2010 / — -
|CU - Boulder Essay about diversity and winter survival (500 words)
4 - I thought the same thing and then I remembered that the sun sets regardless of cloud cover, and...
Undergraduatemccarthc - Jan 4, 2010 / Jeannie - Jan 5, 2010
|"stereotypes about women still exist" - Smith college Supplement
UndergraduateIntlIndian - Nov 23, 2009 / IntlIndian - Jan 5, 2010
|Media and Communications, EMERSON COLLEGE-SUPPLEMENT-HELP
UndergraduateCobraRose - Jan 4, 2010 / Shelby13092 - Jan 5, 2010
|EMERSON-TITLE OF MY LIFE (Urban Jungle)
3 - I really do like the metaphor you're going for here. The use of jungle images as symbols of things...
UndergraduateCobraRose - Jan 4, 2010 / Shelby13092 - Jan 5, 2010
|"Music and sport..." - My common application essay...
17 - I agree with hern255...the list of qualities in the beginning is a bit "blah".. keep in mind that the...
Undergraduatepoisonivy - Dec 26, 2009 / KW3EN - Jan 4, 2010
|"cooked pig intestines" - Common App Essay
UndergraduateKW3EN - Dec 27, 2009 / KW3EN - Jan 4, 2010
|My parents' involvement with volunteering; Tufts- let your life speak
11 - I think your revisements definatley helped to make it a better essay! You expanded on why it is important...
Undergraduatebilodeau54 - Jan 3, 2010 / CobraRose - Jan 4, 2010
|Statement of Purpose for Photography University -- Review needed
3 - I think the best way to cut your essay is to eliminate the first paragraph. It's too wordy and...
UndergraduateToed - Jan 2, 2010 / mpoper - Jan 4, 2010
|Tufts Beyond Tolerance. required essay.
Undergraduatejinglebells - Jan 4, 2010 / mpoper - Jan 4, 2010
|"a further development" - BU supplement Essay
3 - I'm really sorry about being very harsh with this critique, but we're both seniors in high school, you can...
Undergraduateandrew112 - Jan 4, 2010 / diodotusX - Jan 4, 2010
|The Eight Grade Science Fair - Brown Supplement Essay
5 - Not a problem. This place is great anyway. I always get some free help I would have never received...
UndergraduateFrydafly - Dec 28, 2009 / Frydafly - Jan 4, 2010
|BU Supplement (Enthusiastic, Curious, Open-Minded,)
5 - small typo with last sentence, I meant not keep them separated. You all have been a great help....
Undergraduateashyy1992 - Jan 4, 2010 / ashyy1992 - Jan 4, 2010
Undergraduatejinglebells - Jan 4, 2010 / thatpersonphil - Jan 4, 2010
|Why Ohio State? -Words from a Wolverine
4 - The rest of this first paragraph does not really present any unique circumstances. It just says you were...
Undergraduatemstickel - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|My beloved laptop just decided that its very last day has come;Self-Description Essay
12 - supplements, and the Christmas Video I made for my parents. literally everything that was saved on my laptop. ...
UndergraduatePfannekuchen - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Why I want to Apply to Syracuse - Syracuse Supplement
5 - ...but my interest to apply was based primarily on the academics and the diverse programs which the university offers....
UndergraduateTDEEP - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Brown supplement--best advice
4 - nice job! made me laugh and was interesting. this is all i really saw for attempts to shorten...
UndergraduateAMehj - Jan 3, 2010 / shreeek - Jan 4, 2010
|CMC leadership essay -- Jumong
6 - A couple of suggestions: This manHe was a victorious leader from South Korean war history. When I...
Undergraduatemarycornell - Jan 2, 2010 / wzheng - Jan 4, 2010
|BU supplement 3 words= "Alice in Wonderland-ish"
5 - Very Creative! mention the White rabbit in your second paragraph "Change: a monosyllabic word that which embeds...
Undergraduatemeliza8809 - Jan 4, 2010 / twizzlestraw - Jan 4, 2010
|LMU critical thinking situation - POKER
UndergraduateMel77 - Dec 28, 2009 / jyu104 - Jan 4, 2010
|elaborate on one of your activities (150 words) What are you writing about?
UndergraduateJd87rh - Dec 26, 2009 / Jd87rh - Jan 4, 2010
|admission essay Uof NotreDame: why i'm different
Undergraduatesjkang91 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|the field of nanotechnology - why rice appeals to me?
3 - Let's streamline: Out of all of its strong programs, Rice University is especially renowned for its strong science programs,...
Undergraduatem126531 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Penn Community essay - Wind Ensemble, QuakeRaas and West Philly Tutoring Project
4 - No unnecessary words: ...my homeroom teacher had handed me about fifteen different handouts within the last ninety seconds. ...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Why Brown - poetic, maybe too much?
Undergraduatepoisonivy - Jan 4, 2010 / srandhawa - Jan 4, 2010
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