|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 331 of 429|
|"cooked pig intestines" - Common App Essay
UndergraduateKW3EN - Dec 27, 2009 / KW3EN - Jan 4, 2010
|My parents' involvement with volunteering; Tufts- let your life speak
11 - I think your revisements definatley helped to make it a better essay! You expanded on why it is important...
Undergraduatebilodeau54 - Jan 3, 2010 / CobraRose - Jan 4, 2010
|Statement of Purpose for Photography University -- Review needed
3 - I think the best way to cut your essay is to eliminate the first paragraph. It's too wordy and...
UndergraduateToed - Jan 2, 2010 / mpoper - Jan 4, 2010
|Tufts Beyond Tolerance. required essay.
Undergraduatejinglebells - Jan 4, 2010 / mpoper - Jan 4, 2010
|"a further development" - BU supplement Essay
3 - I'm really sorry about being very harsh with this critique, but we're both seniors in high school, you can...
Undergraduateandrew112 - Jan 4, 2010 / diodotusX - Jan 4, 2010
|The Eight Grade Science Fair - Brown Supplement Essay
5 - Not a problem. This place is great anyway. I always get some free help I would have never received...
UndergraduateFrydafly - Dec 28, 2009 / Frydafly - Jan 4, 2010
|BU Supplement (Enthusiastic, Curious, Open-Minded,)
5 - small typo with last sentence, I meant not keep them separated. You all have been a great help....
Undergraduateashyy1992 - Jan 4, 2010 / ashyy1992 - Jan 4, 2010
Undergraduatejinglebells - Jan 4, 2010 / thatpersonphil - Jan 4, 2010
|Why Ohio State? -Words from a Wolverine
4 - The rest of this first paragraph does not really present any unique circumstances. It just says you were...
Undergraduatemstickel - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|My beloved laptop just decided that its very last day has come;Self-Description Essay
12 - supplements, and the Christmas Video I made for my parents. literally everything that was saved on my laptop. ...
UndergraduatePfannekuchen - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Why I want to Apply to Syracuse - Syracuse Supplement
5 - ...but my interest to apply was based primarily on the academics and the diverse programs which the university offers....
UndergraduateTDEEP - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Brown supplement--best advice
4 - nice job! made me laugh and was interesting. this is all i really saw for attempts to shorten...
UndergraduateAMehj - Jan 3, 2010 / shreeek - Jan 4, 2010
|CMC leadership essay -- Jumong
6 - A couple of suggestions: This manHe was a victorious leader from South Korean war history. When I...
Undergraduatemarycornell - Jan 2, 2010 / wzheng - Jan 4, 2010
|BU supplement 3 words= "Alice in Wonderland-ish"
6 - Thank you! :)...
Undergraduatemeliza8809 - Jan 4, 2010 / meliza8809 - Jan 4, 2010
|LMU critical thinking situation - POKER
UndergraduateMel77 - Dec 28, 2009 / jyu104 - Jan 4, 2010
|elaborate on one of your activities (150 words) What are you writing about?
UndergraduateJd87rh - Dec 26, 2009 / Jd87rh - Jan 4, 2010
|admission essay Uof NotreDame: why i'm different
Undergraduatesjkang91 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|the field of nanotechnology - why rice appeals to me?
3 - Let's streamline: Out of all of its strong programs, Rice University is especially renowned for its strong science programs,...
Undergraduatem126531 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Penn Community essay - Wind Ensemble, QuakeRaas and West Philly Tutoring Project
4 - No unnecessary words: ...my homeroom teacher had handed me about fifteen different handouts within the last ninety seconds. ...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Why Brown - poetic, maybe too much?
Undergraduatepoisonivy - Jan 4, 2010 / srandhawa - Jan 4, 2010
|BU three words: My dwarf name.
4 - I believe its in past since you are recurring an event that has happened in the past. Anyways, your...
Undergraduatekldini - Jan 3, 2010 / poisonivy - Jan 4, 2010
|How A Book Influenced You -- The Game -- Brown Supplement
5 - you might want to use more sophisticated words in order to avoid sounding naive. This sounded a...
Undergraduatebardown13 - Jan 3, 2010 / AMehj - Jan 4, 2010
|Famous New Yorker, Haiku, Movie, Program, NYU
Undergraduateginazab - Jan 1, 2010 / jyu104 - Jan 4, 2010
|THIS IS MY VOICE. i need your opinions. (tufts essay)
4 - the reason i threw it in was because the charity in sierra leone (my parents home country) is actually...
Undergraduateyikescollege - Jan 4, 2010 / yikescollege - Jan 4, 2010
|Starting a Revolution - University of Virginia Supplement Essay
5 - You are a great writer! I do agree with the person earlier - you don't actually answer the prompt....
Undergraduatemaochinesechick - Dec 30, 2009 / twizzlestraw - Jan 4, 2010
|"Are we alone?" supplement Revision
4 - ... "E.T." is among my favorite movies, and the battle between humans and aliens present? in my favorite video...
Undergraduatebilodeau54 - Jan 4, 2010 / rapoch - Jan 4, 2010
|bard college -- Grunge is amazingly epic and awesome like totally. =]
3 - Grunge was a musical movement of the early nineties, emanating from the teenage angst and adolescent anger of the...
Undergraduatekrazzikittie - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Boston University passion for drawing essay- Is it clear and focused enough?
7 - would this make gramatical sense to combine both sentences using a semicolon Drawing, something I have been doing...
Undergraduatecollegehelp - Jan 3, 2010 / collegehelp - Jan 4, 2010
|Tour d'Irene, Common App Essay: Topic of my choice. It's a bit long...
UndergraduateIreneZ473639 - Jan 3, 2010 / Liebe - Jan 4, 2010
|What challenged you - supplement - fit for the prompt?
4 - So, you accepted your imperfections the way he accepted the fact that his wife was unfaithful. That is a...
Undergraduatesophistikate - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Cornell CAS Essay- Finding Nemo
5 - I greatly enjoyed reading this essay! I think it is a great analogy to use Finding Nemo. Your transitions...
Undergraduatetiliu - Dec 27, 2009 / CobraRose - Jan 4, 2010
|BU 3 words prompt- "PIN: Polemical, Inquisitive, Nocturnal".
Undergraduateautogunny - Dec 30, 2009 / CobraRose - Jan 4, 2010
|MIT essay about a challenge faced in life..... Grammer correction needed!
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 28, 2009 / bilodeau54 - Jan 4, 2010
|Common App Activity and Essay Prompt: Key Club/ Autobiography of Jun/Sr yr of HS
6 - Yes, when you write that a particular school is part of your life plan, and when you tell them...
Undergraduatemstickel - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|Common App: 17 Year Old Second Grader
4 - Wow best essay I have read on here (only joined this week, but still) the one sentence with the...
Undergraduatengrl08 - Dec 28, 2009 / bilodeau54 - Jan 4, 2010
|University of Rochester supplement: good fit + diff. point of views.
4 - found several qualities of Rochester to be a good fit for me ... provides a vibrant research programs... ...
Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|UPenn Supplement: The Dreaded Page 217/300
6 - Ha ha, yeah, because if admissions is at all competitive, you can't set yourself in a category with...
UndergraduateIndoodPossible - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 4, 2010
|biology department, Why Tufts? 50 words
Undergraduatejinglebells - Jan 4, 2010 / kldini - Jan 4, 2010
|"how society has affected me" - Why do you want to study sociology?
UndergraduateLeaUWC - Jan 3, 2010 / LeaUWC - Jan 4, 2010
|"Being really good at something" - Emory Common App: topic of your choice essay.
Undergraduateabesha92 - Dec 29, 2009 / abesha92 - Jan 4, 2010
|BU supp: Why are you interested in BU and 3 words to describe you best
10 - Not nice at all. Your language is simplistic by US standards. Also, though sufficiently fluent, it is cumbersome. It...
Undergraduateethelion - Dec 13, 2009 / EchoLight - Jan 4, 2010
|Coming to the USA was a cultural shock to me. Everything were totally different
Undergraduateatlanta33 - Jan 3, 2010 / mpoper - Jan 4, 2010
|Cornell U. College of Arts and Sciences suppl. essay.
4 - This looks very honest.I'm impressed.You sound like a normally dishonest boy. Cornell Univ. College is said to give a...
UndergraduateNeedHelpQuick - Jan 2, 2010 / Trix Zeta - Jan 4, 2010
|Contributing to Global Health Affairs society by working as an active member - Upenn supplemental
Undergraduatessewa32 - Dec 30, 2009 / ssewa32 - Jan 4, 2010
|Boston University Supplement - Three words;
15 - Wow i loved your essay, since i am a fellow dragon boater, your essay really conveyed your characteristics through...
Undergraduatejen50192 - Dec 29, 2009 / davidgoes - Jan 4, 2010
|Boston University- 3 words (Observant, Realistic, Logical) Last Day
7 - Your beginning is quite dull, you just list your characteristics, remembering try to show instead of tell, it comes...
Undergraduatekathyz2010 - Dec 31, 2009 / davidgoes - Jan 4, 2010
|Boston University 3 words (curious, straightforward, indomitable)
6 - I feel as though your first three paragraphs don't portray the best side of you, and remember that the...
Undergraduaterockonfreak22 - Jan 3, 2010 / davidgoes - Jan 4, 2010
|Columbia - Who am I? birds and beauty (is it focused? do I repeat myself?)
5 - I love your essay! It's so gripping, especially your description of the dead bird... Not only does this essay...
Undergraduateekfoong - Jan 3, 2010 / taquitolover64 - Jan 3, 2010
|UVA Supplement-Doodling- 'the artistic girl who doesn't like to doodle'
Undergraduatetiliu - Dec 26, 2009 / tiliu - Jan 3, 2010
|a learning equilibrist, Many Interests TUFTS 50 words
Undergraduateshannon92 - Jan 3, 2010 / yikescollege - Jan 3, 2010
|BU, in five to six sentences how did u learn more about bu, 3 qualities
2 - This part seems kind of random, it doesn't seem to flow with the rest maybe a better transition...
Undergraduatedavidgoes - Jan 3, 2010 / ae828 - Jan 3, 2010
|UChicago extended essay,free topic about two sides of coin and medal)))
4 - this essay WAS creative; it simply lacked focus. The idea, however, was clever and pretty good. I'm sorry...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Jan 1, 2010 / yang - Jan 3, 2010
|Harvard - Travelling experiences in a foreign country
4 - ...how could I judge a man because of his fellow countrymen?----you are still generalizing about a whole group of...
Undergraduateace - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
|'going to take a toll on your health' - My princeton summer essay
Undergraduatenemesis01 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
|""curiosity killed the cat" - Caltech Interest in Math,Science,Engineering Essay
Undergraduatedarkwaffle - Jan 3, 2010 / — -
|Singapore - COMMON APP ESSAY: Issue of personal concern & its importance to you
6 - I like food, you write very well! Reading this is a nice experience. Alliterations are people, too!...
Undergraduatelouislbl - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
|UCF Admissions Essay - Why I chose to apply to UCF.
Undergraduateadllop - Jan 2, 2010 / cheetah777 - Jan 3, 2010
|I am good at computer science; Carnegie Mellon- Why I chose CMU
10 - Hi, I'm a Carnegie Mellon student, and here's my input - Explain AP Phoenix, or use a different...
Undergraduatedarkwaffle - Dec 29, 2009 / ndoiron - Jan 3, 2010
|What was the best advice you've ever been given and why?
8 - Try combining this as one paragraph: ...and value the progression of ideas. My primary interest lies in enriching my...
Undergraduatesmileypeace - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
|Tufts Supp. Self identity and personal expression revision
6 - Thanks people I have edited it up a bunch with your suggestions and it reads much clearer. First time...
Undergraduatebilodeau54 - Jan 3, 2010 / bilodeau54 - Jan 3, 2010
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