Unanswered [5] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES
  

Undergraduate [25,739] - page 332 of 429

Undergraduate

Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays (page 332)

Replies | Threads
A girl interested in Computer Science?! - NYU Supplement #4

7 - I don't know... I don't know if it is god to actually say this. If the reader is...

Undergraduatedorkiilove - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Colgate Supp Essay - Diversity in our community

4 - This first paragraph tells me several different ideas without really focusing on a single theme. At the end you...

UndergraduateBlessedHands23 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
business management, Reasons for transferring -- Common App

3 - This is a simplistic, obvious thing to say, and not anything that is really helpful. The first...

Undergraduatejggarcia3109 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Kosovo, MIT world you come from?

6 - I think you need to refer to it this way (as the star that you orbit) again at...

Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"Sindoor": Why Mac? Supplemental Essay for Macalester College

7 - Everything that comes before this is so confusing! It is because you are a little mysterious at the...

Undergraduatevanitashaz - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"a Team-Player", Boston describe me in 3 words.

5 - You can make it shorter by taking out this part. It is so much bragging! Bragging is never...

Undergraduatemomoboy92 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"best advice you have been given, and why?" - Brown Supplement

6 - Just a heads up - your essay was great, but I hear that admissions offices tend to reject essays...

Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 27, 2009 / Katlynedwards - Jan 3, 2010
What don't you know?

3 - Ha ha, I love all of it, and this part is the best. It is such great writing....

Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
a robotics club in my school - Tell us about a time you used your creativity.

3 - ...and together we properly organized a club that we named Quasics (short for quantum physics). With the invaluable...

Undergraduateyatindrahp - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
MUN delegate, George Washington University- Supplement Essay

3 - An hour-and-a-half hour later, I dismiss my students for recess, and our soccer game continues... Keep that verb...

Undergraduatejoosunggrace - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"Football story" - U of Illinois

3 - This does not seem right. Proficisnt means skillful. Maybe you mean "adequate." y natural leadership ability really...

Undergraduatefightingillini - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Rochester second short answer: diff. points of view.

6 - Despite my passion for Bi ology, subject I could not see the necessity of sharing the work and effort...

Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
USC Essay + NYU Short answers critique

12 - Are you talking about the essay about epilepsy? It will answer the prompt if you end the first or...

UndergraduateAIRanimechiic - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Why Tufts? Distinct Mission; INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS

8 - I like the new one better, its more personal so they can get to know who you really are....

Undergraduatejyu104 - Jan 3, 2010 / AnnAsburY - Jan 3, 2010
I was completely ignored by Freshman Mentor; COMMON APP

19 - I'm confused about this part. If you earned good grades, why did he need to show concern about...

Undergraduateemorris - Dec 27, 2009 / jampamz - Jan 3, 2010
"Describe a challenge. How did the experience shape who you are?"

3 - Thank you so much!! I'm really not the best editor but I'll look at yours and see what I...

Undergraduatetaquitolover64 - Jan 3, 2010 / taquitolover64 - Jan 3, 2010
Why Tufts Essay- A Mirror Reflection?

9 - Don't use world-class dining. That hurts it a lot. I know Tufts has a pretty good dining plan but...

Undergraduateddragonx34 - Dec 29, 2009 / jyu104 - Jan 3, 2010
Alaskan's cornell engineering essay

2 - ^Did the passion grow older? ^How is this related to stimulating the visual mind,...

Undergraduatechelseas42 - Jan 3, 2010 / Liebe - Jan 3, 2010
fantastic academic programs - Stanford Essay-Why Stanford?

4 - Choose the one that will give you the most access to and experience with both. You can do...

UndergraduateNeoGeo - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
MIT - significant challenge or something that didn't go according to plan

3 - Hmmm, yes, I think what luminous might have meant was: My friends and I share many common ideas and...

Undergraduateyatindrahp - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Freedom of speech, alternative energy, northwestern supplement essay - why NU?

4 - How fascinating that you thought a larger class size was a good thing. That makes the essay really interesting....

Undergraduateseattlelite - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Impact of Tennis - Common App Essay

3 - Playing and watching sports has always been my passion. Tennis was my first love as I was growing up...

Undergraduatemdtennis92 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"to change my mindset" - Tufts University supplement essays

3 - You spend too much time at the beginning talking about how you like all kinds of music. Everybody says...

Undergraduateepirote901 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
why tufts - strong psychology department

6 - What do those skeptics prefer... the "hard" sciences? Some people call psych a "soft" science, because it is so...

Undergraduatemmmargarita - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
our trip to Costa Rica, Essay topic: evaluating a significant experience

5 - I think it can work for both, and I think that in both cases it is important to write...

Undergraduatealiyoung8143 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Emotional, multicultural, and optimist - My BU Essay

5 - It seems nicer if we make all three words adjectives: ...use just three words they are emotional, multicultural, and...

Undergraduatenewsdrms - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
My respect for my ideneity in Quito, Ecuador- Common App

6 - No worries, I'm not that great with grammar myself...(I have to read over my essays like A MILLION times...

UndergraduateJimmyzg213 - Jan 2, 2010 / cheetah777 - Jan 3, 2010
NYU Supplement - Multiple Prompts + Topic Ideas

12 - Those who studied calculus Tried to be miraculous... I was thinking of that for the meter... Ha...

UndergraduateSignifica - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
U Chicago Supplements: Something you have outgrown and Why chicago?

3 - When I thought of a modern day chemist, I had often visualized a smartly-gowned scientist with the famous hair...

Undergraduatekiwi90 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Paramedical Experience -- Common App Essay

4 - I liked your essay. One thing that stuck out was the use of "horror". You have the phrase "mind...

UndergraduateIvanD - Dec 30, 2009 / Borik - Jan 3, 2010
math, science, or engineering, CalTech Interest Essay

3 - I think you could say all of this in half the amount of words you used. Don't use...

Undergraduatebirthdayattackr - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
an excellent liberal arts education and the choice - Cornell CAS Essay

4 - The first paragraph is confusing, but I figured out the way to fix it!: I was in my own...

Undergraduateapplesandtea - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
Caltech Essay- How do you express your interest in math, science or engineering?

3 - Thanks for trying to help, but can you try to read the last two paragraphs? None of the...

Undergraduatehope_21 - Jan 3, 2010 / hope_21 - Jan 3, 2010
Cal Tech Essay-Interests in Engineering!

5 - Number agreement: can take my abstract ideas and turn them into concrete realities. Your intro is excellent writing;...

Undergraduateletsgetfroyo - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
"Community and Equity as a battey and its charger" - Lehigh supplement

5 - A comma is necessary in this kind of sentence: ...without the battery the charger has no meaning, and without...

Undergraduateaikd80cn - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
History with neuroscience - Brown PLME

3 - I love the beginning, but I have to challenge you to do an operation on that first paragraph. Right...

Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
What would you choose to do over and what changes would you make?

4 - Ha ha, at first, I did not realize you meant the organization of your essay. I thought you...

Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Jan 3, 2010
'Research into rare medicinal herbs' - Why Franklin and marshall college?

8 - ^^ thnx for the comments..ill try to work on those sections....

UndergraduateHemin12 - Dec 21, 2009 / Hemin12 - Jan 3, 2010
Caltech Humor Prompt

4 - Uh... I gotta disagree with Punpunpun that it sounds all that "artificial and disengenuous." Okay, this maybe. ...

UndergraduateKatlynedwards - Jan 2, 2010 / Logical_Fella_C - Jan 3, 2010
Tufts Supplement Prompt #2 [What voice would you add?]

4 - Maybe it's just me, but I don't quite understand this part of the sentence. How about:...

UndergraduateIvanD - Dec 31, 2009 / achen92 - Jan 3, 2010
I'm an older brother; Tufts - Let Your Life Speak

4 - I think you know whats wrong here. Another careless mistake I believe. Depends, but...

UndergraduateIvanD - Dec 30, 2009 / achen92 - Jan 3, 2010
"the union of academics and service through innovation" - That's why Emory

4 - You need to explain why you and Emory are a perfect match, address yourself and be specific. A couple...

Undergraduateowls - Dec 27, 2009 / AlphaQuebec - Jan 3, 2010
Common App essay: How A Computer Changed My Life

2 - Fellow web guy here. As a silly nitpick, websites can be dynamic, not dynamical. Overall you tell too...

UndergraduateErko - Jan 2, 2010 / Punpunpun - Jan 3, 2010
"The Phone Call that Changed my Life" -Common App Personal Essay

2 - The way that this essay is presented conveys that Andrew's Angels changed your outlook, not Andrew's death directly. ...

UndergraduateSFRTom - Jan 3, 2010 / Punpunpun - Jan 3, 2010
I am half Filipino, a quarter Sri Lankan and a quarter Anglo Indian; Roomate/Babson

4 - this letter doesn't catch the reader's attention. Will you be this formal if you met your roommate in person?...

Undergraduateleo_francis101 - Dec 28, 2009 / collegechic - Jan 3, 2010
"I'm normal in some ways" - Stanford supplement: letter to roommate

8 - i prefer the second a lot more.the short story is a unique way of telling the admissions office you...

Undergraduategarfunkel129 - Dec 29, 2009 / collegechic - Jan 3, 2010
NYU 5 Supplements "Day with Adam Richman, Haiku..etc"

12 - Don't choose the first haiku. It's really weird to say a delicacy unmatched....

Undergraduaterawrfest - Dec 21, 2009 / jyu104 - Jan 2, 2010
Cornell - Why Engineering -- Help Me With Just a "Yes" or "No"

4 - Yes- makes sense! But I don't think you need to capitilize art or science. Good Luck :)...

Undergraduaterapoch - Jan 2, 2010 / bonitachica - Jan 2, 2010
'...shook his head, sadly' - You have just completed your 300-page autobiography; page 217.

21 - If you can write this off the top of your head, you will be fine to write an essay!!!...

UndergraduateTimMill - Dec 21, 2009 / bonitachica - Jan 2, 2010
Cornell Hotel Management Essay

2 - interested in how hotels run As such, About the hotel, maybe mention staff* at Lanesborough haha....

UndergraduateJakeK812 - Jan 2, 2010 / meisj0n - Jan 2, 2010
A Conversation between a granddady and his beloved grakid. UPenn Community Essay

5 - thanks guys, I submitted before I can read your comments though, didn't want risk been late....

Undergraduateqomoco - Jan 1, 2010 / qomoco - Jan 2, 2010
Cornell CAS Essay - check over my spelling and grammar

NEW - Hi. Obviously I'm very time limited so I can't change anything significant as far as content goes. Ever...

UndergraduateJakeK812 - Jan 2, 2010 / — -
'prosperous society' - Lehigh Supplement - Equity and Community

5 - Lehigh Supplement - Equity and Community With technological advances sweeping away all boundaries, our society must accept that...

Undergraduaterapoch - Dec 31, 2009 / s61001234 - Jan 2, 2010
"REACHING FOR MY DREAMS" - Why motivates you to go to Rice

4 - Second last line: I am ____ little boy. - may be "that" Well you could do one thing.. Follow...

Undergraduatedthomas518 - Jan 2, 2010 / marpals - Jan 2, 2010
Political Science Dept/ Study Abroad Why Tufts (50 words)

7 - I like the second one. I know autogunny said don't use equilibrist, but since you added higher vocabulary to...

Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 25, 2009 / princeatujaini - Jan 2, 2010
"Choosing undeclared but goal is computer science" UIUC Essay#1

3 - Heavily Revised, very different from first draft: The first time I touched a computer, I was six and...

Undergraduatellttnn123 - Jan 2, 2010 / llttnn123 - Jan 2, 2010
What I Carry reflect my many obsessions - Tufts voice essay

7 - did you read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien? Same kind of idea, very cool. I like your...

Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 26, 2009 / hehalter - Jan 2, 2010
Common App Essay - The red road

3 - Thank you so much, Susan. Your comments are very valuable to me....

Undergraduatenam216 - Jan 1, 2010 / nam216 - Jan 2, 2010
Eccentricity, Drive and Concentration: BU supplement

5 - Does anyone have any comments about my latest draft?...

UndergraduateMF2010 - Jan 2, 2010 / MF2010 - Jan 2, 2010
"Especial" - Rice supplement essay.

4 - Cheetah777 covered the little grammatical/spelling fixes. It's a leeeetle long, however, it's incredibly interesting. Beyond basic statistical facts, I...

Undergraduatealmacubana - Jan 2, 2010 / Ivy_Equestrian - Jan 2, 2010

Home / Undergraduate