|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 34 of 429|
|Personal Statement: Why I didn't choose to drop out.
4 - Xu, your essay doesn't really help your application because it is confusing, boring, and at this point, directionless. The...
UndergraduateCocoXu - Dec 17, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 17, 2015
|Craving for Computer Science - Georgia Tech Essay
11 - Logesh, your edited, tightened, and final format essay: About two years ago, I came to know what computer...
Undergraduatelramad2 - Dec 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 17, 2015
|"My Youtube Community Channel" - University of Michigan Supplement essay #1
7 - Louisa, I used your suggestion as a basis for my revision. I liked how you made my essay more...
UndergraduatewolfieD - Dec 14, 2015 / wolfieD - Dec 16, 2015
|Not only chemistry, but I'm also passionate in many other fields. My UBC Admissions Personal Profile
3 - Thank you @mayjiang for the first paragraph, the reason I have that top sentence is beaause I'm applying...
UndergraduateHERESYU - Dec 16, 2015 / HERESYU - Dec 16, 2015
|"Onni Annyeong!" Participating in Model United Nations and being a Korean teacher in Thailand
9 - Hi Minjung, here is a 441 word version of your essay. It more than covers all the necessary information...
Undergraduatemj12 - Dec 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2015
|An essay regarding admissions at Caltech for undergraduates
3 - Tendor, in order to complete your story, don't just tell us the result of your actions and choices. In...
UndergraduateTendor86 - Dec 16, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2015
|'being a violinist' - Personal Statement about my experience in orchestra
Undergraduateadsxgh - Dec 16, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2015
|"Manufacturing is more than just putting parts together..." SOP Engineering for undergraduate
2 - Abhay, we can probably make this a generic essay once you learn what the true purpose of your interest...
Undergraduateabhay_khattar - Dec 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2015
|I want to play quidditch at UChicago
2 - Jeremy, although I know that there are actually some clubs that play a modified game of Quidditch on campus...
Undergraduateskidude23 - Dec 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 15, 2015
|Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University? (Maximum: 250 words)
2 - Hui, don't open the statement with a reference to how your high school failed to deliver on the extra...
Undergraduatespaceboy - Dec 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 15, 2015
|Students have a background, talent or passion that they feel they must write about.
4 - Your diction was very strong, and it worked very well with your essay! A few point of note however:...
Undergraduatespaceboy - Dec 5, 2015 / JeffreyGuy - Dec 15, 2015
|A practicing artist - SAIC Admissions Essay
2 - Kyra, your paper is currently too theoretical in content, with the barest reference to you as a person in...
UndergraduateKHT18 - Dec 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 14, 2015
|Heavy pile of books instead of a kindle - College of William and Mary admission essay
2 - Well Mikhail, your essay is certainly right up the avenue that the admissions video suggests you take. It has...
Undergraduatenaitriver - Dec 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 14, 2015
|In addition to the generally known facts, what fascinates you the most in Georgia Tech?
4 - Hi Jehad, I think that you should only discuss the real reasons that you are drawn to Georgia Tech....
Undergraduatealhajjja - Dec 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 14, 2015
|Who I am, what I want to become and why the admissions office should choose me. NUS Supplement Essay
2 - Hoang, your essay is a bit too long and does not really offer complete answers to the prompt requirements....
UndergraduateHoangVNguyen - Dec 12, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 13, 2015
|Pursuit for a ribbon. Common-App essay revision/quality?
3 - I appreciate the feedback! Made me feel alot better about my essay! I certainly will, with all the college...
Undergraduateaguess97 - Dec 7, 2015 / aguess97 - Dec 13, 2015
|Fear is a problem I never stop trying to solve but never ever solved completely
4 - Michael, one way that you can insert the story about fear being caused by lack of experience but not...
Undergraduatemichaelmiaomiao - Dec 12, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 13, 2015
|My goal to surpass mediocrity and achieving academic excellence - help review Common App essay
4 - In a constructive manner, I think this motif of essay is quite common among the common app. essays, where...
Undergraduateabusayed - Dec 11, 2015 / HoangVNguyen - Dec 13, 2015
|There is a person I treasure more than gold.. Describe your mother (about 100 words)
UndergraduateBtram266 - Dec 12, 2015 / Btram266 - Dec 12, 2015
|Instead of chosing IIT - my country's best institute - I want apply to MIT
3 - Though MIT is a dream of yours, you should focus on how your environment influenced your career goals. What...
Undergraduateveenap - Dec 9, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 11, 2015
|International Baccalaureate courses Classes -- Why Macalester essay
2 - Sure, International Baccalaureate courses may be challenging, but it' s real benefit is its international intellectuality students gather throughout...
Undergraduatedanber - Dec 10, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 11, 2015
|Being the Biggest Brother - Personal Statement - My world
3 - While I was sitting around the table on the first morning of the New Lunar Year with my whole...
Undergraduateeegii0123 - Dec 10, 2015 / kerry2654 - Dec 11, 2015
|Briefly describe how your past activities or work experiences will enhance our community. USD app.
3 - Thank you for the feedback! Its also a 250 or less word count. Any advice on adding in something...
Undergraduatesbc6 - Dec 6, 2015 / sbc6 - Dec 10, 2015
|My ambition to become a storyteller.
2 - This is really great! The description of why you'd like to become a filmmaker is very descriptive, but sometimes...
Undergraduateeegii0123 - Dec 10, 2015 / desi__d - Dec 10, 2015
|The GOAL - how a specific work of journalism had an impact on your desire to study this subject
2 - ... to witness the legendary game-tying match between the Soviet Union and Canada. To beBeing a part of...
UndergraduateElijah Ngoy - Dec 9, 2015 / eegii0123 - Dec 10, 2015
|The bristles of the paintbrush. Painting plays a crucial role in my life. Help with Common App Essay
Undergraduatekabrid8 - Dec 6, 2015 / kabrid8 - Dec 9, 2015
|"Doc! This one's about to die!". Caltech 'Unusual way in which you have fun' Essay. (200 Words)
UndergraduateAhmadShahnawaz - Dec 9, 2015 / dynaranjani - Dec 9, 2015
|Why Swarthmore? International student writing about political liberal
UndergraduateCindyWang98 - Dec 1, 2015 / CindyWang98 - Dec 9, 2015
|LEYSIN AMERICA SCHOOL, SWITZERLAND APPLICATION ESSAY
4 - I really like it. You connect the person with yourself and answer the question very well. In terms of...
Undergraduateoluwatofunmii - Dec 7, 2015 / AhmadShahnawaz - Dec 9, 2015
|Conflict on my experience between why Rice and why major
UndergraduateHaoranWei - Dec 8, 2015 / HaoranWei - Dec 9, 2015
|Nothing confused me more than downloading a file wirelessly -- Cornell Engineering Essay
Undergraduatejonthom24 - Dec 2, 2015 / jonthom24 - Dec 8, 2015
|UT Austin Topic C, "Growing up as the oldest of three brothers"
2 - Juan, as I read your essay, I believe it's well written, straight to the point and answers the prompt...
Undergraduatejdsada98 - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 8, 2015
|UC Prompt 2 - Moving from Afghanistan to the States, dealing with poverty, culture differences, more
3 - Hi Charlie, I would like to help out with the first and second paragraph enhancement of your essay. ...
Undergraduategello - Nov 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 8, 2015
|Share your interest - Common App Essay - My love of foreign languages
3 - Polina, after reading your essay, I would like to comment first on the way it is written. I suggest...
UndergraduateLinaRus - Dec 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 8, 2015
|University of Virginia Supplement Essay on Quirks: motionless moment
Undergraduateblackstar7 - Dec 8, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 8, 2015
|Overcoming personal difficulties; event that transformed me to adulthood
Undergraduateferdquayson - Dec 7, 2015 / ferdquayson - Dec 8, 2015
|Falling head over heel for science. Why have I chosen chemical engineering as a career option?
2 - Aliam as this is a draft, I understand that you didn't capitalize the letters of the words that needs...
Undergraduatejpulkita8 - Dec 8, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 8, 2015
|Motivation letter for bsc Economics. Can someone check it if its good or not?
10 - Gzsofi, I don't worry about you as much because I know that a little practice and you will be...
Undergraduategzsofi - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 7, 2015
|a 'renaissance woman' - QUALITIES ABOUT MYSELF
UndergraduateiSasha - Dec 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 7, 2015
|Reasons on applying and attending Swarthmore - both entail the exciting concept of social science.
4 - Thank you aikoashiya for your feedback it was really helpful!! Thank you for your honestly as well Thank...
UndergraduateFranky17 - Dec 6, 2015 / Franky17 - Dec 7, 2015
|Write a brief statement outlining your personal and academic goals
5 - I think your revised essay is a lot better than your first essay, but you should think about changing...
UndergraduateFriction - Dec 1, 2015 / aikoashiya - Dec 7, 2015
|I am really bad at writing and need help on my supplemental essay for my Georgia Tech application.
3 - Hey, I'm quite familiar with GT having been born near there and having quite a few friends who attend,...
Undergraduatecourtdun - Dec 5, 2015 / aikoashiya - Dec 7, 2015
|Advocacy for LGBTQ Individuals in the East - Common App "Why Transfer"
4 - Depending on where you are wanting to transfer to will play a big part in how well your essay...
Undergraduatehop3ful - Dec 2, 2015 / aikoashiya - Dec 7, 2015
|A young lady sitting contentedly facing to the computer - suggestions about my SoP
7 - Junhua, see if this edited closing paragraph is something that you would like to use :-) Upon graduation,...
UndergraduateJuneYan - Dec 5, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 6, 2015
|Why I want to be an illustrator? MassArt Statement of Purpose Letter! Help !? :3
UndergraduateKatryanaJazmin - Dec 6, 2015 / KatryanaJazmin - Dec 6, 2015
|I am a Slovakian writing a personal essay for a college in the United States.
2 - Lucia, this is a heart warming story that you have written here, it successfully capture the thought of a...
Undergraduateluci_belakova - Dec 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 6, 2015
|Students identify Lafayette as an excellent fit for countless reasons. Why Lafayette? (20-200 words)
Undergraduateellaak - Dec 5, 2015 / ellaak - Dec 6, 2015
|I only eat air and I think I'm better than everyone else
3 - Emily, overall, your essay is written good. However, as I go through it, the final paragraph does not...
Undergraduatekpopgirl - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|Being the first chair saxophone player in our marching band - Apply Texas Topic C
2 - Emma, as I read through your essay, I must say that you did well on the first few paragraphs,...
Undergraduateemrp - Dec 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|Interests led me into Biomechanical Engineering - Common App Essay
7 - I really loved your essay it was captivating and explained exactly why you were interested in mechanical engineering. However...
UndergraduateJamieB - Nov 20, 2015 / ellaak - Dec 5, 2015
|Share experiences that have shaped you and provide insight as to who you want to be in the future.
Undergraduatepallakgarg7 - Dec 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|"Diversity is the key to change" - Columbia Supplement
4 - Well Kennedy, structure wise, the essay is fine due to the fact that this type of prompt does not...
Undergraduatekennedelrey - Dec 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|"Ok let's go!" - Yale essay: reflect on personal interests, experience
5 - Jasmine, let's make your last paragraph stronger, kindly find my remarks below. Final paragraph - Long boarding (...
UndergraduateJamieB - Dec 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|'a jigsaw puzzle' - Common Application - first question choice
3 - dBres, to address your first dilemma on the title of your essay, I believe " A Jigsaw Puzzle "...
Undergraduatedanbrespadkit - Dec 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 5, 2015
|"education is the most powerful weapon..." United World Colleges Application Essay
3 - @vangiespen I hope this is better approach to the prompt. To me, attending a United World College is...
Undergraduateoluwatofunmii - Dec 5, 2015 / oluwatofunmii - Dec 5, 2015
|Essay: Communication is Power - it introduces different ideas, educates and informs the masses
UndergraduateElijah Ngoy - Dec 4, 2015 / Elijah Ngoy - Dec 4, 2015
|Seconds become minutes, and then hours, and then days, but I will value every single one.
2 - Hi Catherine, the essay that you developed is not off topic, neither is it dark and depressing. However, I...
UndergraduateShiro - Dec 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 4, 2015
|I'm an enlisted sailor - USNA Personal essay question
7 - We need to adjust the content of the following paragraph so that it does not sound like you are...
UndergraduateYNnope - Nov 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 4, 2015
|The Fashion business has always been in my plans. Advertising and Marketing Communications - FIT
2 - Elena, I remember there were a few students rooting for FIT and I believe they did well in this...
UndergraduateECalv001 - Dec 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 3, 2015
|How are you and St. Olaf a good fit for each other? (100 words)
3 - HI Roshan, I'd like to share my views on your supplement essay. - would helpwill assist me to...
Undergraduatenepal1 - Nov 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 3, 2015
|Home / Undergraduate|