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|Being in a book club - only 150 words =)
Undergraduategynn92 - Dec 30, 2009 / Wanderer_x - Dec 30, 2009
3 - You have a good commnand in your writing. However, I think your essay does not address the prompt clearly....
Undergraduatejampamz - Dec 29, 2009 / Wanderer_x - Dec 30, 2009
|UPenn - (page 217) grammar?
7 - Its pretty good. I think you praised the university, without sounding silly. Also can you use lush to describe...
Undergraduateluminousx - Dec 29, 2009 / AbhijeetS - Dec 30, 2009
|Common App Essay (Carnatic Kid in Canada)
3 - i think you've completely misread this essay the part you said was irrelevant is the crux of this...
Undergraduateunclesamv - Dec 26, 2009 / unclesamv - Dec 30, 2009
|Theatre Volunteering- Common App Extracurricular Expand...
2 - I can't find anything grammatically wrong with the essay. The content sounds sincere and well written also. Theres not...
Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 30, 2009 / tkkt1 - Dec 30, 2009
|My Syracuse CA supplement "why + experience + realworld apply"
3 - Just a question, why do you have "Carnegie Science Center" in your last line? I wasn't sure if you...
UndergraduateJd87rh - Dec 29, 2009 / rosschang - Dec 30, 2009
|UPenn: 217 - grandfather, cranes, and faulkner!
5 - I'm a devout Faulkner fan, so thanks Ivy_Equestrian for the suggestion about the italics! I'm SO HAPPY you understood...
Undergraduateekfoong - Dec 30, 2009 / ekfoong - Dec 30, 2009
|UMich Engineering Essay: Interests and aspirations
Undergraduatetimtim - Dec 28, 2009 / timtim - Dec 30, 2009
|"assistant contingent leader" - UNIVERSITY OF ILINOIS
Undergraduateanishapp - Dec 25, 2009 / anishapp - Dec 30, 2009
|Common App Essay: Achievement/Significant experience- fixing my boat
Undergraduategeorgekon - Dec 29, 2009 / ekfoong - Dec 30, 2009
|Caltech - interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering.
4 - I really enjoyed your essay! I'm also working on my CalTech essay right now. One piece of advice...
Undergraduatewallacethedog - Dec 26, 2009 / FakeWingZ - Dec 30, 2009
|UVA/Brown Supplement - Buffalos
2 - This is well written but I don't see the connection between the prompt and you answer. Where do you...
UndergraduateKris012 - Dec 30, 2009 / tkkt1 - Dec 30, 2009
|AADP charity - Extracurricular Activity for Common App
4 - Thanks you for your advice! I'll try to help you revise your essay, although I'm not very confident about...
UndergraduateFakeWingZ - Dec 29, 2009 / FakeWingZ - Dec 30, 2009
|South Korea, Malaysia, and United States - the world you come from
3 - In America, the right of individuality and l iberty are valued greatly. People expect others to respect his or...
UndergraduateLiberty50 - Dec 29, 2009 / demuredelight - Dec 30, 2009
|Day with the suphero named Daredevil - NYU Prompt 1
Undergraduatenogasa - Dec 29, 2009 / nogasa - Dec 29, 2009
|"spirit for adventure" - Stanford--What should your roommate know?
5 - I think you want to be informal for your roommate, but also keep it somewhat official. I agree with...
Undergraduateswimchick2266 - Dec 29, 2009 / helpmego2CMC - Dec 29, 2009
|NYU Supplement - famous New Yorker, year 2050, short poem
Undergraduatelekha - Dec 27, 2009 / lekha - Dec 29, 2009
|"In society today" - Application Essay : Notre Dame
Undergraduatemorris7692 - Dec 29, 2009 / starlight - Dec 29, 2009
|What are the benefits of having a diverse educational community?
4 - Hey, big improvement! In conclusion, diversity in educational communities is beneficial in that it teaches students to be more...
Undergraduateyoyopow - Dec 29, 2009 / demuredelight - Dec 29, 2009
|'the science behind my injury' - CORNELL College of Agriculture and Life Sciences
Undergraduateava7217 - Dec 29, 2009 / tkkt1 - Dec 29, 2009
|Experience that reinforced the importance of passion in life - common app #1
4 - thanks, michelle! :) yeah, actually in one of my earlier drafts, i did write about what i learned from...
Undergraduatedayae21 - Dec 27, 2009 / dayae21 - Dec 29, 2009
|Idealist and guard - Notre Dame Supplement the difference in the world
4 - first, thank you forreading my essay! i thoughtyour essay was pretty well-written and the beginnning def is a...
UndergraduateJunieGe - Dec 28, 2009 / TC3 - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App Essay- People's influence on me- The Little Heroes
3 - They carried their one-inch sharpened pencils and their dog-eared and water-beaten(water-beaten or weather-beaten?) books in a burlap sacks that...
Undergraduatechanj - Dec 29, 2009 / bluemenon - Dec 29, 2009
|UPenn Communities Essay... a balance between work and play
4 - 'This program explores the historical connections between the Black and Jewish communities in an effort to improve relations between...
UndergraduateMjtorain - Dec 28, 2009 / mitzimadrid - Dec 29, 2009
|So many possible career paths for me, whether it's educating or working as a pro bono family lawyer
Undergraduatelauren492 - Dec 29, 2009 / lauren492 - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App Essay- Trying to be different but need advice on it
Undergraduatelizrose92 - Dec 29, 2009 / erinhcho - Dec 29, 2009
|Calvin and Hobbes influenced my life - Common App
UndergraduateReach - Dec 28, 2009 / ekfoong - Dec 29, 2009
|NYU-2050 MOVIE (newspaper incident)
Undergraduaterosschang - Dec 29, 2009 / luminousx - Dec 29, 2009
|Crockett to INTERPOL - NYU Prompt 3
7 - Those are pretty good titles, if you're leaning more along a title with the word peace, you could...
Undergraduatenogasa - Dec 29, 2009 / lauren492 - Dec 29, 2009
|Duke Supplement Essay - Why Engineering and why Duke
3 - Let's fix this intro: ...about becoming one thing: an Engineer. More specifically, I wanted to be an Inventor. ...
UndergraduateBlessedHands23 - Dec 26, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Looking for fundamentals of how everything is functioning Cornell Arts & Sciences 'interests' prompt
7 - Chemistry explains all this, and vivified the intricacies of the matter around us. I decided a long time ago...
Undergraduatebatmankiller - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Library, books, socializing - MIT significant challenge, help, comment, correct
2 - The one thing you might want to think about is how your portray this as a challenge. Obviously,...
Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 29, 2009 / birthdayattackr - Dec 29, 2009
|Not a Typical Upbringing...Tufts Community Essay
5 - When you say you begged your parents to sign you up for those 3 activities, it implies that they...
Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|My Common App essay- written by my "Grandson"
UndergraduateMTcherevik - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Does this fit the prompt for Pepperdine???
UndergraduateWrestlingnba - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Global Business and Entrepreneurship Conference, NYU - Common App Essay
2 - I think you should submit the first essay. It illustrates a complete picture of your growing path. I have...
Undergraduatelekha - Dec 29, 2009 / demuredelight - Dec 29, 2009
|Nepal -- small land lock country, Tufts supp-
4 - Asnika, I had to delete a lot of responses you gave people, because they didn't provide and ideas or...
Undergraduatedark horse - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Main Common App Essay--An Experience that Impacted You
2 - You have such an elegant writing style, very nice sentences. Okay, this essay is beautifully written, and...
Undergraduateessayhelp - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|What don't you know?- Brown Supplement!
8 - My only concern with this essay is that I've already read more than five essays very similar to this(...
Undergraduatejoosunggrace - Dec 28, 2009 / MSetYo - Dec 29, 2009
|Profile Questions and "Why Stanford" - Stanford Supplement Essays
UndergraduateKupcakeKim - Dec 29, 2009 / tkkt1 - Dec 29, 2009
|U-Chicago Free Prompt AND Yale Secondary Essay! - Can I use it for both? :D
10 - I thought it was creative and very well done. You are a very good writer, and you should use...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 23, 2009 / purple_eyes - Dec 29, 2009
|Uchicago "Describe a road that you know (real, imagined or metaphorical)" Essay
8 - Thanks everyone. i think that once i make these correction my essay will be great. and if i do...
Undergraduatepoleandreel - Dec 29, 2009 / poleandreel - Dec 29, 2009
|Success - I want to choose the path that will not let me regret taking chances in my life
5 - I have to agree with the earlier posters. The essay readers want to know about you. Sure, background information...
UndergraduateJahnavi71592 - Dec 28, 2009 / Significa - Dec 29, 2009
|Trinity College Supp - What's your Integrity Contract?
2 - Together, they have constructed the integrity plan I have adhered to in my everyday word and action. <-...
Undergraduatehbrad8002 - Dec 29, 2009 / Frydafly - Dec 29, 2009
|Brown University supplement: What don't you know?
6 - You didn't answer the question. I think it is very important to answer the prompt, "What don't you know?"...
Undergraduatenoiresia - Dec 6, 2009 / NAhmed - Dec 29, 2009
|"ecstasy with smells" - Lafayette Supplement: describe a creative interest
2 - I love your essay simply because I'm just as passionate about smells. You, are now officially awesome to me....
Undergraduatenc08dkia - Dec 29, 2009 / paranormale - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App: Personal Statement (Brass Buddy)
8 - The last sentence is very awkward. Perhaps you could say something like: I know that I'll be able...
Undergraduateparanormale - Dec 29, 2009 / invisiblewriter - Dec 29, 2009
|2002 Olympic Experience for U Washington
Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 28, 2009 / sbdaiquiri - Dec 29, 2009
|Chinese and American Cultures and Family Eating
2 - Fix these errors: My friends were always a little surprised when they came to my house for dinner...
Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 29, 2009 / Reach - Dec 29, 2009
|The Tenacious Protest--Common App Essay
Undergraduatespacerelay - Dec 28, 2009 / spacerelay - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App Essay - Who has Influenced You & Issue of Importance
3 - When I read your essays, I can definitely feel that you cherish the past and feel sad about the...
Undergraduatedarkwaffle - Dec 29, 2009 / sakeloga - Dec 29, 2009
|U Chicago main essay: flashdrives and k-pop
8 - this is definitely creative! i enjoyed the mystery of what you were looking at in the beginning. i honestly...
Undergraduatecolorfuloving - Dec 25, 2009 / poleandreel - Dec 29, 2009
|Pomona Supplement- my trip to Alaska
2 - Here are a few thoughts for you: Generally speaking, in the U.S. we only use single quotation...
UndergraduateHBZ - Dec 29, 2009 / Notoman - Dec 29, 2009
|"Learning the Guitar"- My Common Application Essay
5 - I am interested at the subject of this essay (its easier to read than most of the others). Though,...
Undergraduatetpingt - Dec 25, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 29, 2009
|"the department stores on Fifth Avenue" - Williams Essay
6 - I love this essay. I think you have accomplished precisely what Williams is looking for, perhaps you could include...
Undergraduateguitarbfour - Dec 26, 2009 / cmg12 - Dec 29, 2009
|"Carnegie Mellon? What? Mellon like a watermelon?"; MAJOR & WHY CMU?
6 - imo, i think it is a bit too generic. You need to elaborate and give specific examples on how...
UndergraduateMpx - Dec 22, 2009 / darkwaffle - Dec 29, 2009
|My goal is major in mechanical engineering and enhancing the unmanned technology, especially in cars
3 - Today, engineering has become a crucial subject for our society, and without engineering society would just regress back to...
Undergraduatekeyshop13 - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|SYRACUSE SUPPLEMENT: # 2 ( WORK EXPERIENCE) ANY INPUT?
3 - I have always been a As a teen ager with serious long-term goals, I have been motivated by my...
UndergraduateCobraRose - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App essay (person who inspired me)
2 - Very interesting essay! If you're going to mention the quotation, you should include it in your essay! (The actual...
Undergraduateanirudhaw - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2009
|Rice Supplement--why school of natural sciences?
3 - Be careful with your wording. I gravitated towards health care, because I enjoy helping people feel better and...
Undergraduateebby2010 - Dec 28, 2009 / invisiblewriter - Dec 29, 2009
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