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|Trinity College Supp - What's your Integrity Contract?
2 - Together, they have constructed the integrity plan I have adhered to in my everyday word and action. <-...
Undergraduatehbrad8002 - Dec 29, 2009 / Frydafly - Dec 29, 2009
|Brown University supplement: What don't you know?
6 - You didn't answer the question. I think it is very important to answer the prompt, "What don't you know?"...
Undergraduatenoiresia - Dec 6, 2009 / NAhmed - Dec 29, 2009
|"ecstasy with smells" - Lafayette Supplement: describe a creative interest
2 - I love your essay simply because I'm just as passionate about smells. You, are now officially awesome to me....
Undergraduatenc08dkia - Dec 29, 2009 / paranormale - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App: Personal Statement (Brass Buddy)
8 - The last sentence is very awkward. Perhaps you could say something like: I know that I'll be able...
Undergraduateparanormale - Dec 29, 2009 / invisiblewriter - Dec 29, 2009
|2002 Olympic Experience for U Washington
Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 28, 2009 / sbdaiquiri - Dec 29, 2009
|Chinese and American Cultures and Family Eating
2 - Fix these errors: My friends were always a little surprised when they came to my house for dinner...
Undergraduatedaft123 - Dec 29, 2009 / Reach - Dec 29, 2009
|The Tenacious Protest--Common App Essay
Undergraduatespacerelay - Dec 28, 2009 / spacerelay - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App Essay - Who has Influenced You & Issue of Importance
3 - When I read your essays, I can definitely feel that you cherish the past and feel sad about the...
Undergraduatedarkwaffle - Dec 29, 2009 / sakeloga - Dec 29, 2009
|U Chicago main essay: flashdrives and k-pop
8 - this is definitely creative! i enjoyed the mystery of what you were looking at in the beginning. i honestly...
Undergraduatecolorfuloving - Dec 25, 2009 / poleandreel - Dec 29, 2009
|Pomona Supplement- my trip to Alaska
2 - Here are a few thoughts for you: Generally speaking, in the U.S. we only use single quotation...
UndergraduateHBZ - Dec 29, 2009 / Notoman - Dec 29, 2009
|"Learning the Guitar"- My Common Application Essay
5 - I am interested at the subject of this essay (its easier to read than most of the others). Though,...
Undergraduatetpingt - Dec 25, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 29, 2009
|"the department stores on Fifth Avenue" - Williams Essay
6 - I love this essay. I think you have accomplished precisely what Williams is looking for, perhaps you could include...
Undergraduateguitarbfour - Dec 26, 2009 / cmg12 - Dec 29, 2009
|"Carnegie Mellon? What? Mellon like a watermelon?"; MAJOR & WHY CMU?
6 - imo, i think it is a bit too generic. You need to elaborate and give specific examples on how...
UndergraduateMpx - Dec 22, 2009 / darkwaffle - Dec 29, 2009
|My goal is major in mechanical engineering and enhancing the unmanned technology, especially in cars
3 - Today, engineering has become a crucial subject for our society, and without engineering society would just regress back to...
Undergraduatekeyshop13 - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|SYRACUSE SUPPLEMENT: # 2 ( WORK EXPERIENCE) ANY INPUT?
3 - I have always been a As a teen ager with serious long-term goals, I have been motivated by my...
UndergraduateCobraRose - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App essay (person who inspired me)
2 - Very interesting essay! If you're going to mention the quotation, you should include it in your essay! (The actual...
Undergraduateanirudhaw - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2009
|Rice Supplement--why school of natural sciences?
3 - Be careful with your wording. I gravitated towards health care, because I enjoy helping people feel better and...
Undergraduateebby2010 - Dec 28, 2009 / invisiblewriter - Dec 29, 2009
|Tufts required essay- describe the environment in which you were raised.
Undergraduategemma2345 - Dec 25, 2009 / gemma2345 - Dec 29, 2009
|Syracuse- influence, work, and experience
Undergraduateangie127 - Dec 29, 2009 / angie127 - Dec 29, 2009
|Rice Supplement: upload an image that appeals to you
12 - NuclearTide: actually, it is required, whether you're submitting the application online or by paper. And although it may not...
Undergraduateebby2010 - Dec 28, 2009 / ebby2010 - Dec 29, 2009
|I was born in Yale-New Haven Hospital, and my father got his PhD from Yale.
6 - You have to get to the "heart" of the yale essay. Its sortof "on the surface", talk more about...
Undergraduatethemaninblack - Dec 19, 2009 / pennhopefull - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App Essay for Middlebury, American, Smith, Mount Holyoke, Dickinson!!
2 - Maybe you could add something at the beginning, some reason you have felt afraid to drive. Do you know...
UndergraduateJVan09 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2009
|MIT admission essay- difficult situation
2 - Wow. A very impressive essay. Written metaphorically, I don't know if that really fits your essay, but it's unique....
Undergraduateanagaby17 - Dec 29, 2009 / determinedgirl - Dec 29, 2009
|'comfortable expressing one's opinion' - Haverford: Honor Code Essay
Undergraduateepirote901 - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 29, 2009
|BU supplement: Three words that describe me (dependable, obstinate, analyst)
4 - Hi, I'm glad you found my comments helpful :D I'm actually writing this essay too, so I know it's...
Undergraduatetuna624 - Dec 28, 2009 / onnanoko - Dec 29, 2009
|A. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System
2 - That is an important observation! The into and conclusion frame the essay and provide its structure. Topic sentences...
UndergraduatePlayerquadratic - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|" Volunteer, not so you can build your resume, but so you can build yourself"
2 - Yeah, likely story! At the start of the essay, making this assertion does not do any good, because...
Undergraduateletsgetfroyo - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|"healing power of spontaneity" - NYU Supplement
UndergraduateIVSolomon - Dec 28, 2009 / Ivy_Equestrian - Dec 29, 2009
|BU: Defining myself with passion for life, sense of humor and dedication
2 - My passion for life is a defining characteristic of my nature. (I cross out tis first sentence because it...
Undergraduatematerial_sloth - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|Getting a Little-Bit Closer - Amherst Supplement Essay
Undergraduatemarkoni - Dec 28, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 29, 2009
|The unexamined life is unworth living- Stanford
5 - im actually using the other essay i wrote for this one (i am unable to vote...) but thanks anyhow...
Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 25, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 29, 2009
|Why Yale? short answer - Balance in everything
6 - Your short answer is well written. However, I have to agree with gumdrop 41, it doesn't sound personal for...
Undergraduatepoisonivy - Dec 29, 2009 / caligirl23 - Dec 29, 2009
|BU "Three adjectives that describe yourself" Essay
Undergraduaterobyag6 - Dec 25, 2009 / robyag6 - Dec 29, 2009
|A dream of programmer; Carnegie Mellon - major & why CMU?
NEW - Q: "Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s),...
UndergraduateBryan - Dec 29, 2009 / — -
|Common Application Essay: My Father and his Influence
Undergraduateliu007 - Dec 29, 2009 / paranormale - Dec 29, 2009
|Barnard Supplement- Government Representitive
Undergraduatemedelman2010 - Dec 25, 2009 / hehalter - Dec 29, 2009
|"the pleasures of exploring" - Interest in Brown Supplement
Undergraduatesbdaiquiri - Dec 28, 2009 / sbdaiquiri - Dec 29, 2009
|"I love rugby" and sport - Common App Personal Essay
8 - OMG! You used my sentence! Haha I am flattered. However, I'm not certain if it's grammatically correct (since English...
Undergraduatesnailmonster - Dec 29, 2009 / JamesLe - Dec 29, 2009
|NYU - Additional Statement
Undergraduatelekha - Dec 29, 2009 / lekha - Dec 29, 2009
|Common App short answers - Activity, and Secondary School Interruption
5 - Thank you! I'm applying to Yale, Princeton, UPenn, Williams, Tufts, UMich, Northwestern, Tulane, Skidmore, Cornell, Vassar, Colgate, and UVA....
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 23, 2009 / Ivy_Equestrian - Dec 29, 2009
|Barnard Government Repersentative
Undergraduatehehalter - Dec 29, 2009 / medelman2010 - Dec 29, 2009
|International Business, AIM - UPenn supplement
Undergraduatejiangjie - Dec 28, 2009 / jiangjie - Dec 29, 2009
|'Catch. Pass. Catch' - Common Application Short Answer- Lacrosse
Undergraduatecaligirl23 - Dec 29, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 29, 2009
|Minh waker! Soccer player with piano
7 - Well, I think the transition works. You don't need to worry much about that.I could understand you....
Undergraduatekatze34 - Dec 22, 2009 / longyue - Dec 29, 2009
|CMU SUPPLEMENT- CMU for Econ (why you've chosen the major)
UndergraduateJackieC - Dec 29, 2009 / rosschang - Dec 29, 2009
|Macaulay Honors Essay- International Concern (animals)
3 - thanks very much for the edits. i ended up completely redoing my essay in the end though and i...
Undergraduatekkrulez3001 - Dec 13, 2009 / kkrulez3001 - Dec 29, 2009
|In 2050 a movie is made about you...NYU Supplement Prompt!
3 - You have great ideas! A minor change however: With minimum amount of work and a good pay check...
Undergraduatekat_1314 - Dec 29, 2009 / spacerelay - Dec 29, 2009
|Lafayette College describe a creative or academic interest...
4 - Although I understand why you want to write, and in the future be a novelist, but still i dont...
Undergraduatet1292 - Dec 6, 2009 / nc08dkia - Dec 29, 2009
|BU: how became interested?
Undergraduateangie127 - Dec 27, 2009 / angie127 - Dec 29, 2009
|Thoughtful consultant system, atmosphere, BROWN SUPPLEMENT ---- WHY ESSAY
Undergraduateszphoebe - Dec 23, 2009 / szphoebe - Dec 29, 2009
|'color strikes' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER- PAINTING
6 - This is a well-written short answer. The emotion and feelings that are displayed through your figurative language is remarkable....
UndergraduateJackieC - Dec 29, 2009 / dsspann23 - Dec 29, 2009
|Whitman supplement :my understanding of diversity gained from Chinese history
2 - Hey there, I know it's tough trying to write essays in a language that's not your own, but you...
Undergraduateqianmeimei - Dec 29, 2009 / paranormale - Dec 29, 2009
|NYU Supplement- Movie, New Yorker, and Studies
UndergraduateIVSolomon - Dec 29, 2009 / IVSolomon - Dec 29, 2009
|BU essay- open-minded, diligent, and curious
5 - In the second and third paragraph I tried to connect diligence and curiosity. I was curious about my community,...
Undergraduateangie127 - Dec 24, 2009 / angie127 - Dec 29, 2009
|tutoring children this year, Common Application Short Answer
2 - What you can do to really show the importance of the activity is provide what inspired you to tutor...
UndergraduateG Dragon - Dec 29, 2009 / emorris - Dec 29, 2009
|STANFORD INTELLECTUALLY ENGAGED ESSAY
Undergraduateroal - Dec 29, 2009 / roal - Dec 29, 2009
|mechanical or electronic engineering, friend - Why OHIO state university?
2 - Firstly I would like to major in mechanical or electronic engineering, and your faculty sounds(i don't think sounds is...
Undergraduateabhi0592 - Dec 29, 2009 / NatMeng - Dec 29, 2009
|it depends on my mood, time & the setting; Activity/ies for the pleasure?
11 - Instead of "Physics, in my opinion..." try "Physics, to me,..." It just seems to flow more naturally....
Undergraduatemolecule - Dec 24, 2009 / emorris - Dec 29, 2009
|Engineering Planned course of study; UVA supplement
UndergraduateNasir2009 - Dec 24, 2009 / Nasir2009 - Dec 29, 2009
|engineering, Northwestern Supplement Essay
Undergraduatemsn - Dec 29, 2009 / msn - Dec 29, 2009
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