|Undergraduate [25,517] - page 345 of 426|
|Admissions Essay "Shedding Old Skin"
2 - This is quite the interesting essay! In fact, its like nothing I have ever seen before. But, I...
Undergraduateashehryar - Dec 21, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 22, 2009
|Growing up with two religions
1 - San Francisco: a cultural mecca where religions coincide and ideas explode into being. Most of my friends and I...
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 22, 2009 / — -
|Sparked (a personal change from adolescence to maturity) - common app essay
Undergraduatecdrappi - Dec 21, 2009 / Nandra - Dec 22, 2009
|commonapp short answer: elaborate on one activity (speech contest)
3 - Thanks Xiaofan! Your suggestions are very helpful~~ I will revise it according your changes~ really appreciate your help!...
Undergraduateqianmeimei - Dec 21, 2009 / qianmeimei - Dec 21, 2009
|A lifetime engagement in research ----Duke engineering supplement
Undergraduateswirl92 - Dec 21, 2009 / mmmargarita - Dec 21, 2009
|Stanford Essay: I'm from an Island!
7 - this essay is awesome. it really shows stanford your thought process and what topics make you think the...
Undergraduateschmevie - Dec 14, 2009 / anhammond - Dec 21, 2009
|"Ten minus seven"; EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY- tutoring
5 - This is a very well written response, however I agree with juesewang about the elaboration part. How has tutoring...
Undergraduatejamiexc - Dec 21, 2009 / swirl92 - Dec 21, 2009
|UPENN supplement- biography and most important communities
3 - These are great essays. I agree with everything said above. However, I think the conclusion on your first...
Undergraduatel3goals12 - Dec 20, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 21, 2009
|Hello my future roomie! Stanford University Short Answer
6 - great topic! i like how you talk about random qualities to showcase your uniqueness. maybe instead of being so...
Undergraduateparswar - Dec 16, 2009 / anhammond - Dec 21, 2009
|"Born in China, immersed into a new culture" - Boston University Essay
Undergraduatejuesewang - Dec 20, 2009 / juesewang - Dec 21, 2009
|"You're not going to college!" - CNR application essay
15 - I agree, there is def. some parts that I feel iffy about. But the difficult part is judging if...
UndergraduateRabiaG - Dec 19, 2009 / RabiaG - Dec 21, 2009
|THE HANDKERCHIEF (That is the keepsake of people love each other in my country)
7 - Thank you so much, Kevin! Anyway, you make me have a deep impression about "sweat and dry". Please forgive...
Undergraduateautumnwave - Dec 16, 2009 / autumnwave - Dec 21, 2009
|About drugs, essay cornell
Undergraduatemkjn91 - Dec 21, 2009 / mkjn91 - Dec 21, 2009
|The world, "ambitious and relentless" -common app essay (topic of my own choice)
2 - I really like this. My only suggestion is that I would be careful being so negative. I know your...
Undergraduatedaisyx3 - Dec 21, 2009 / twizzlestraw - Dec 21, 2009
|"I'm the definition of oxymoron" - stanford supplement essay (roommate)
Undergraduatedaisyx3 - Dec 21, 2009 / Ellan - Dec 21, 2009
|"a very diversified lifestyle" - Stanford's "Letter to roommate"
6 - "People like honesty like bees like honey." Like Jeannie has already mentioned, this is a rather awkward structure- three...
Undergraduateviettran92 - Dec 18, 2009 / Vulpix - Dec 21, 2009
|An artist's hands - UC Essay
17 - Hey guys, thanks for all the edits!! It really helped a lot, and I've already submitted it for UCs,...
Undergraduategumdrop41 - Nov 12, 2009 / gumdrop41 - Dec 21, 2009
|Undergraduate admissionto KU :Self description and Study plan essay
UndergraduateBakachi - Dec 20, 2009 / Bakachi - Dec 21, 2009
|Johns Hopkins Supplement - Yay Genetics!
3 - I think you did a great job explaining why you want to pursue a career in genetics. The essay...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 21, 2009 / daisyx3 - Dec 21, 2009
|Common App Topic Of Your Choice Essay Interweaving Football with Education
4 - Oops! Thanks, Kevin! I was away typing you a message when you were already here! Weirrrrd. Disregard my message...
Undergraduaterememberthe - Dec 19, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 21, 2009
|ESSAY- Cornell Schoolof Architecture
5 - Good sentence!!!!!! As I anchored the last piece of chipboard onto my cube, my fingers sticky with...
Undergraduatedollarchitect - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Quote relating to AP Physics C short essay
4 - I tried to compensate for my D by reminding myself that it was the most difficult course I could've...
Undergraduatealejxa - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Common App: Person who has influenced you (Ms.Young)
2 - You should mention Ms. Young in your first paragraph. Before I became her student, there were some serious...
Undergraduatedollarchitect - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2009
|'seventy-eight years old' has had a significant influence on you...my grandmother
6 - My grandmother, who is now seventy-eight years old, has been a unique and exemplar y _________. She is the...
UndergraduateJduran9 - Nov 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|My family and WWW, MIT - Describe the world you come from - does it convey?
Undergraduateukarmy04 - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|major in biotechnology - Why Tufts?
Undergraduatelillyforlunch - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|YALE SECOND ESSAY: "THE PIECES OF ME"
3 - Ali, I hope you'll start giving some ideas as well as encouragement. It is nice that you offer kind...
Undergraduateheavyman - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|A European Experiment in Intolerance
UndergraduateQuickStudy - Dec 18, 2009 / QuickStudy - Dec 21, 2009
|NYU supplement- In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life.
4 - Maybe approach the prompt as the movie is not made about your life at 60, but rather the last...
Undergraduateldh8504 - Dec 21, 2009 / hehalter - Dec 21, 2009
|Princeton Summers (or vacations between school years)
4 - Well, part of the purpose here is to show them that you can write good composition. So... you...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Tufts Supplement: Self-identity supplement
Undergraduatehehalter - Dec 21, 2009 / hehalter - Dec 21, 2009
|My year as a foreign exchange student in the US, Common Application / own topic
4 - My year as an exchange student in the U.S. was an amazing experience that changed my way of ......
Undergraduateknutschfleck - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|UNC prompt: Stinsonitis
Undergraduatelowcal - Dec 20, 2009 / lowcal - Dec 21, 2009
|Lehigh supplement essay about community and equity
Undergraduateguga23 - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Brown supplement: Education and what don't you know
3 - In middle high school, I studied in a lower-level class -whats middle high school? middle school? I really...
Undergraduatezsjdanny - Dec 18, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 21, 2009
|"Intelluctual interest, evolution,and excitement" Cornell collegeof Arts&Science
3 - 1.) I think you should tell where you come from in that first paragraph so that the reader knows...
Undergraduatekatilope - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Michigan essay your favourite book
6 - I think the pace is little bit fast, and you should reduce this telling, and increase the showing. ...
Undergraduategvranurag - Dec 20, 2009 / ldh8504 - Dec 21, 2009
|Scary Daydream!!- supplement for Williams : )
10 - Balancing the role of a student with that of an active member of society can be challenging, but she...
Undergraduatechristiek - Nov 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|media group, artists - Application Essay
Undergraduatechaichihyi - Dec 17, 2009 / chaichihyi - Dec 21, 2009
|"Chapter 28" - Penn Supplement - one page from my autobiography
5 - You could turn it into one of those events you'll look back to when you become a professional...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 9, 2009 / l3goals12 - Dec 21, 2009
|" I wanted my own disposable income" - Tutoring & cognitive science (ACTIVITY)
6 - Oy......
UndergraduateLgolos - Dec 17, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 21, 2009
|Cornell; intellectual interests - new journey in life
3 - I don't think your essay is as personal as it could be. Maybe you could add a short, meaningful...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 21, 2009 / ZBurf - Dec 21, 2009
|Brown Supplement - "Why Brown?" and "Anticipated Degree"
4 - Thanks for the comment. Yeah, you can figure out your interested in it from that but still you don't...
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 20, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 21, 2009
|Why Yale Supplement essay - (community is dynamic and eclectic)
10 - muchhh better...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 20, 2009 / ekfoong - Dec 20, 2009
|MIT short answer: something you do for the pleasure of it
8 - you have the overall idea but may be you should consider expanding. i know its a word limit, but...
UndergraduateNBAhmed - Dec 10, 2009 / lowcal - Dec 20, 2009
|'no competition among students' - Swarthmore supplement: 'Why Swarthmore?' essay
Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 19, 2009 / kda013 - Dec 20, 2009
|Tennis, MATCH POINT - Common app essay of your choice
Undergraduateolawunmi8 - Dec 16, 2009 / olawunmi8 - Dec 20, 2009
|Common Application-Genunine leader : Evaluate a significant experience
5 - This is just technical, but in the sentence, "No specific spotlight directed me but more glaring eyes fell on...
Undergraduateappletree12 - Dec 20, 2009 / sbrooks10 - Dec 20, 2009
|"I study physics during my free time" - MIT
7 - Oh, no problem, I understand. I hate it when I start writing and it sounds like someone else's work....
Undergraduateekfoong - Dec 20, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 20, 2009
|Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering Essays. :)
4 - haha life of a procrastinator... tell me about it. I really do think the second one is great. Most...
Undergraduateekfoong - Dec 20, 2009 / sbrooks10 - Dec 20, 2009
|What does this essay need?! (an experience and its impact)
4 - Thank you both, I really appreciate the help with grammar and your opinions. So, I've made the changes and...
Undergraduatealejxa - Dec 19, 2009 / alejxa - Dec 20, 2009
|Determined; Passionate; Open-minded - boston: three word that describe you best
Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 20, 2009 / ginny2345 - Dec 20, 2009
|'The scent of chamomile' Amherst essay on kindness
7 - I'm so glad I could help! And don't worry, I have my own moments of pretentiousness too- I couldn't...
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 19, 2009 / Vulpix - Dec 20, 2009
|Who you are and how you could contribut to Boston University Admissions essay
6 - Your essay is great. Once again, the only thing I would recommend is revising the first/third person. I've been...
UndergraduateNickJ - Dec 12, 2009 / cpeel12 - Dec 20, 2009
|The Dream Addict-Boston University Supp.
3 - Determined, hard-working, leader, smart, innovative, sociable, reliable -- the perfect scholar. I recommend addng that dash in order...
Undergraduateseivert9 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Emmanuel "a person who has had a significant influence on you"-CommonApp
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 17, 2009 / loveyelledno - Dec 20, 2009
|turned to basketball to help clear my head, Penn State personal statement
3 - Never start with a statement of the obvious. It is better to skip it. Start like this: Throughout...
Undergraduatetimmy11803 - Nov 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|I've got my game face on, and I'm ready for the pitch--Mt. Holyoke Essay
10 - If asked what the most significant thing about me was, you would be hard pressed to hear me say...
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|common app feedback - a topic of your choice - i prefer choirs
3 - After this sentence, you should add one more before ending the first paragraph. Part of the experience you...
Undergraduatehwei91 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Personal Statement involving medicine
3 - No starting essays with statements of the obvious! That sentence is not powerful. Now here is a...
Undergraduatetchonis05 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
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