|Undergraduate [25,601] - page 345 of 427|
|Trip to Disneyland/Leadership Common App
4 - I don't thing grandeur can be used as an adjective. Mabe this sentence should be revised, because I...
Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|MIT Pleasure Essay - Rubik's Cube
7 - i dont know if this is a particuarly unique topic, but i cant really downgrade you on that, only...
UndergraduateAbhijeetS - Dec 20, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 23, 2009
|"a homeless woman" - Common App Short Answer :)
9 - The weather forecast [[reported]] the arrival of a snowstorm. Dusk was falling and wind was blowing as I hurried...
Undergraduateyeseniyaus - Dec 23, 2009 / jeovanshadow - Dec 23, 2009
|Question about UVA "world" prompt
3 - I agree with Vulpix, the most important part of the essay is "how that world shaped you". If indeed...
Undergraduatemmmargarita - Dec 23, 2009 / raezzat - Dec 23, 2009
|Notre Dame Essay -- Build a Future of Hope for Others
3 - Nice essay - I really got the feeling that you're a compassionate person. below are just some edits...
Undergraduatechiwhitesoxfan - Dec 23, 2009 / swuvvy - Dec 23, 2009
|Stanford Roommate essay---Being a nerd and a jock isn't necessarily a bad thing
4 - The improvements definitely helped. And yes, I like having two paragraphs, because it separates your two main ideas and...
Undergraduatetchonis05 - Dec 23, 2009 / Vulpix - Dec 23, 2009
|SMU Supplement - how is SMU good fit for you?
5 - your tone is too personal if this college is not very selective you are fine but more info about...
Undergraduatelowcal - Dec 23, 2009 / xtyxty - Dec 23, 2009
|Honors UW essay. a curiosity worth satiating.
2 - You talk about what you ponder or wonder about (ooh, I wonder if that eye rhyme was intentional on...
Undergraduateryanclare - Dec 23, 2009 / Vulpix - Dec 23, 2009
|Eassy about how other people can change us.
2 - When I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my life seemed to be...
UndergraduateEpilane - Dec 22, 2009 / tchonis05 - Dec 23, 2009
|"dance my worries away" - stanford supplement: letter to roommate
8 - thank you for catching the passive voice stuff. i had trouble editing that out in another essay of mine....
Undergraduateanhammond - Dec 21, 2009 / anhammond - Dec 23, 2009
|"a liberal person" - Brown supplement-
Undergraduateldh8504 - Dec 21, 2009 / cattiesim - Dec 23, 2009
|Research Plans at UNC
2 - When my mother had told me what was happening,... "Hi pumpkin!" she would say as I stepped through...
Undergraduateseivert9 - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 23, 2009
|"to reach my goal of becoming a doctor", University of Central Florida Essay
6 - Maybe you can just briefly explain it, ie. "from shadowing a doctor, I was able to meet a man..."...
Undergraduategranderrico - Dec 23, 2009 / Mpx - Dec 23, 2009
|"my pencil case" - Barnard's supplement,
Undergraduateailin - Dec 23, 2009 / ailin - Dec 23, 2009
|"my school's Pom squad" - Common App Short Answer - Activity
4 - thank you so much! your advice really helps out a lot. i'll definitely try to read over some of...
Undergraduatehlk5065 - Dec 22, 2009 / hlk5065 - Dec 23, 2009
|"life is not promised" - FAMU essay . no longer than 500 words. prompt below
2 - Without family, many people seem to make simple blunders in life that could have been easily avoided through the...
Undergraduateshaniquajene - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 23, 2009
|cornell supplement: soulmates
NEW - prompt:Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution and what makes them exiting to you.Tell us how you will utilize the...
Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 23, 2009 / — -
|"the Global Citizens Project" - describe extracurricular or personal activities
4 - you only have one sentence at the end 'joining this..' to talk about how the activity has an impact...
Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 23, 2009 / hbrad8002 - Dec 23, 2009
|Notre Dame supplement- building a future of hope
3 - yeah i just wanted to push my thread to the top again ;) haha actually, you really spent your...
Undergraduateldh8504 - Dec 23, 2009 / ldh8504 - Dec 23, 2009
|"My climb may be far from over but I fully intend to complete it!"; COMMON APP
6 - the common app essay can be as long as you want...at least i think so and thanks everyone..you guys...
Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 21, 2009 / ginny2345 - Dec 23, 2009
|essay about describing yourself in precise word limit
Undergraduatepriyacqua - Dec 21, 2009 / priyacqua - Dec 23, 2009
|What name would you suggest for Grinnell?
Undergraduatehera246 - Nov 14, 2009 / Robertlatt - Dec 23, 2009
|"the most suitable learning environment" - Carnegie Mellon Supplementary Essay
3 - I think you can be more specific, perhaps name a professor or specific program or department. I mean right...
UndergraduateEsaias - Dec 23, 2009 / krazzikittie - Dec 23, 2009
|Harvard supplement- Books that have affected you the most
4 - Add a hyphen: ...much-sought solitude to commune with my "friend". I wasn't an art student in secondary school,...
Undergraduateeyo - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|DESCRIBE A SITUATION WHERE YOU HAD TO WORK OR CLOSELY ASSOCIATE WITH SOMEONE
5 - Great narrative, I like how you've emphasized how different you and the other guy were. When you say...
Undergraduateluvhunta - Dec 21, 2009 / krazzikittie - Dec 23, 2009
|Common app essay- My third world country defines me
2 - This should be a dash instead of a semi-colon: Eight years ago my mother made the decision of moving...
Undergraduatejsdginger - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|Essay for Common Application Short Answer - Dance - Feedback
5 - I can't remember anything from when I was fie! I wonder if you could do something better with this......
Undergraduatevnsoct - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
4 - To become competitive, I interviewed a popular boy in my class and then displayed the testimonials from him on...
Undergraduatebeaming2 - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|"our class was worst in the sports and extracurricular activities" - app essay.
3 - Here is some help with the intro: There is Nothing is impossible, but it was almost impossible for me...
Undergraduatezu1990 - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|Math. I have been part of the Talented Youth Program of El Salvador
14 - You have such limited space i suggest you get rid of the first sentance. You could start by saying:...
Undergraduatehern255 - Dec 9, 2009 / ace - Dec 23, 2009
|Environmental Science class, Johns Hopkins Supplement Essay
3 - Teachers often discuss the potential to motivate students by taking them out of the classroom and exposing them...
UndergraduateZBurf - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|"bridging the gap between Vietnam and the world" - Statement of Purpose
2 - Since I was young, I have often heard people's discussions about bridging the gap between Vietnam and the world,...
Undergraduatebeaming2 - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|Famous New Yorker, Poem, 2050 movie... (NYU SUPPLEMENTS)
UndergraduateJamezy_d92 - Dec 22, 2009 / Notoman - Dec 23, 2009
|Uchicago extended essay on someone or something that has had an influence on you
2 - Huaxin, The general idea is good (paying attention to the scenery rather than just the destination). The idea...
UndergraduatelittleJ - Dec 23, 2009 / z4evafoolz - Dec 23, 2009
|UPenn Teacher's Autobiography '...with a loud bang, I toppled a pile of books'
5 - Thanks guys, all of these comments are invaluable. I just started editing my essay again and will make sure...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 22, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 23, 2009
|Common app short answer - research internship at a hospital
3 - this is definitely not descriptive enough, i don't really see the need for creativity. in other words, why was...
Undergraduatetaintedlove21 - Dec 22, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 23, 2009
|Common App Short Answer + Essay: Indian dance + elderly caretaking job
4 - @ Politik: aw, thanks very much [: Yeahh, I like the idea of cutting out some description for something...
Undergraduatecolorfuloving - Dec 21, 2009 / colorfuloving - Dec 23, 2009
|Accounting - my reasons of transferring to State University
5 - Thank you all for your comments, suggestions and corrections on my essay. I really appreciate it! ABOVE is...
Undergraduateluckybella - Dec 21, 2009 / luckybella - Dec 23, 2009
|Something you pretend to hate but secretly like, or vice versa.
4 - Well, I am also dealing with this question for UVa painfully but have no results yet. I think u...
Undergraduatetimtebow - Dec 22, 2009 / Josephine0411 - Dec 23, 2009
|Howard Supplement - Topic of your Choice- My Aunt Barbara
Undergraduatetwizzlestraw - Dec 21, 2009 / olawunmi8 - Dec 22, 2009
|"Stay. I love you, but if it hurts to live, then go.", New to college essays
10 - This is really moving. Well, but since this is an essay that depicts the person with significant influence on...
Undergraduateasth3nia - Dec 16, 2009 / Josephine0411 - Dec 22, 2009
|"the endless pain of the ballet" - Common Application Main Essay
UndergraduateJosephine0411 - Dec 22, 2009 / Josephine0411 - Dec 22, 2009
|Tufts Supplement: I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL.
Undergraduatekrazzikittie - Dec 22, 2009 / krazzikittie - Dec 22, 2009
|Dickinson students shall become globally engaged citizen leaders
5 - This is a great essay! I love how you center you topic around the Israeli-Palestinian peace process. That...
Undergraduatejacob5642 - Dec 22, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 22, 2009
|Brown essay; why drawn to the academic fields you indicated
3 - obviously this is a very hard essay to do w/ 1000 characters(by the way im applying to brown also,...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 22, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 22, 2009
|John Hopkins Essay - Chemistry, The Combustion Reaction of My Knowledge
2 - While she continued to fill our minds with more cute analogies, and other students turned their attention to doodling,...
Undergraduatelowcal - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 22, 2009
|Stanford Essay: About me. Acting.
Undergraduateschmevie - Dec 15, 2009 / Alex728 - Dec 22, 2009
|Rice Supplement - what motivated you to come to Rice?
Undergraduatelowcal - Dec 21, 2009 / leemj308 - Dec 22, 2009
|'good body language' - SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE
Undergraduatesincerelyydavid - Dec 21, 2009 / sincerelyydavid - Dec 22, 2009
|"Memory" - Common Application Critique! my jet-black SLR camera
2 - ...juxtaposed against a background of my rivals between other competitors as my torso contorts itself over the barrier, each...
UndergraduatePsyched - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|Extra Curricular ( Common App) 150 Word Response
3 - Let's not be so informal as to drop the word "during" when it is necessary: I joined the club...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|How Were You Caught? 'being caught into the politics'
6 - That first paragraph is quite impressive. I see some unnecessary stuff to be trimmed from paragraph 2, though: By...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|"Ding! Ding! Ding!" - for my common application essay on diversity
4 - To say that I was nervous would be an understatement; I was literally petrified; My guts were all tied...
Undergraduatesrahimi - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|tutoring programs and learning projects - UIUC Essay prompt
5 - Yes, I think the most impressive thing you can do is show that you are already being proactive about...
Undergraduatedemuredelight - Dec 16, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|Common App essay (the influence of my two little siblings)
3 - ...today it is extremely more hectic and entertaining. By thirteen I felt like I had landed the full-tim...
Undergraduatealejxa - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|Option #2 for Yale Supplement Essay--God, Beauty, cousin Eve
4 - My little cousins are adorable. ---> just an idea to help draw the reader into the experience. It's...
Undergraduatesbrooks10 - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|enjoy most - music, performing for children
3 - Here is an idea for this excellent last sentence. This quality, this expression in my music, is not easily...
Undergraduatelilgangwolf - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|'superstition and unawareness' - Stanford Intellectual vitality- Disease
3 - ...was fought in history, I felt compelled was stimulated to look at how the modern 21st century responds to...
Undergraduatexxgraceanxx - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 22, 2009
|'Academic standards / Indian roots' - University of Rochester short answer
5 - "I can only hope that I may be able to bring my experiences and knowledge to University of Rochester."...
Undergraduatenadine83 - Dec 19, 2009 / seivert9 - Dec 22, 2009
|"Coming to America" (How has your family influenced who you are)
5 - "No matter where you go, you must never forget where you came from, and the obstacles you have crossed....
UndergraduateJfils - Nov 19, 2009 / seivert9 - Dec 22, 2009
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