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|Tufts - Self-expression
5 - Hi, Changan! Thank you so much for reading...I'm currently fixing up my supplement and I'll definitely keep your suggestions...
Undergraduateapplesandtea - Dec 28, 2009 / applesandtea - Dec 28, 2009
|"I posses innovation, drive, and dedication" - Why Swarthmore?
2 - I think the second paragraph has to be better organized...for some reason, I feel like it jumps from one...
Undergraduatekenziii - Dec 28, 2009 / applesandtea - Dec 28, 2009
|Bown University Supplement: What don't you know?
NEW - Prompt: C.French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how...
UndergraduateKaiki - Dec 28, 2009 / — -
|"real, tangible, and alive - Science!" Cornell Arts and Sciences interests essay
7 - Cute hook! I like you're essay, but you could always go add more nuance and really illustrate the beauty...
Undergraduaterjctcollege1 - Dec 26, 2009 / twizzlestraw - Dec 28, 2009
|"To be different from the world" - notre dame essay
10 - Im sorry. I don't want to sound annoying or anything, but if someone could please look at my essay,...
Undergraduaterjctcollege1 - Dec 21, 2009 / rjctcollege1 - Dec 28, 2009
|My mother, my first teacher - the person who i admire
2 - ... shows me the right way, always supports me greatly, celebrates my birthday and does many... Perhaps, the...
Undergraduatetrudzu - Dec 27, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 28, 2009
|Brown- academic fields/anticipated degree essay (1000 characters)
2 - At the beginning I almost felt you wanted to join the army. I would recommend an example that does...
Undergraduatejoosunggrace - Dec 28, 2009 / kenziii - Dec 28, 2009
|Common App Essay: "Franny and Zooey"
5 - WOW! I thoroughly enjoyed this essay! This is the type of essay that interests me. You took something that...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 27, 2009 / CobraRose - Dec 28, 2009
|Essay for Princeton, Williams, Swarthmore, Bowdoin, and Kenyon-(Personal Essay)
2 - "Daily sketches, paintings, and journal entries." You should make this into an independent clause, and tie the two...
Undergraduatepmurray62 - Dec 26, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 28, 2009
|I have been raised very traditionally; Tufts: Let your life Speak essay
Undergraduateepirote901 - Dec 28, 2009 / snorlaxative - Dec 28, 2009
|Stanford- Intellectually Engaging- Dogs brain
Undergraduatetchonis05 - Dec 27, 2009 / medelman2010 - Dec 28, 2009
|"my hurdle coach" - Brown- What is the best piece of advice you've ever and why?
NEW - Thanks for taking the time to view my essay. Feel free to make suggestions and comments, I really need...
UndergraduateBinkers91 - Dec 28, 2009 / — -
|University of Chicago Essay - A dream about lakes, bridges, and The Box
3 - ahh, thank you very much! you gave me a lot of valid points (and fixed my grammatical errors, yayy)...
Undergraduatecolorfuloving - Dec 27, 2009 / colorfuloving - Dec 28, 2009
|Williams Supplement- what it means to never give up
2 - I see nothing wrong with this essays and im sure colleges will love it the only thing is with...
UndergraduateHBZ - Dec 28, 2009 / daft123 - Dec 28, 2009
|'I didn't get sick' - NYU Supplements- my summer vacation was...
8 - I think you add more description to make it sound more interesting and use language a bit more creatively...
UndergraduateEmmerz - Dec 27, 2009 / lekha - Dec 28, 2009
|Cornell CAS - The Fantastic Theatrical Five-Year-Old
9 - Thanks for the tips, guys! :) I'll definitely expand on the evolution thing, and work on refining the other...
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 25, 2009 / Ivy_Equestrian - Dec 28, 2009
|Cornell Human Ecology--Biochemistry + Small Town
Undergraduatesadhvi010 - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 28, 2009
|Rice Supplement- Why School of Humanities?
5 - Make the paper more about you! I mean talk about what specifics about Rice YOU LIKE. I am applying...
Undergraduatemekksalam33 - Dec 28, 2009 / rtgrove123 - Dec 28, 2009
|Bu essay. 3 words that describe you! comments are welcome!
4 - Yes, it is a bit long... Shorten the descriptions of the events you talk about, maybe you could do...
Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 28, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 28, 2009
|" My African Safari Adventure" - COMMON APP. ABOUT ME ESSAY
Undergraduateindianajones015 - Dec 25, 2009 / Oceanus27 - Dec 28, 2009
|JHU Supplement Essay (50 majors across the Art and Sciences schools)
8 - (In a real world setting of course.) - I don't know how useful this is, considering that the ones...
Undergraduateparanormale - Dec 25, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 28, 2009
|'preparing for IIT's entrance exam for a long time' -MIT additional information essay
2 - What is the prompt? Try to make it as personal as possible. Maybe a little more about how you...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 28, 2009 / Frydafly - Dec 28, 2009
|"let your life speak" TUFTS supplement= "SPIRIT OF 'BAYANIHAN' "
4 - I took another look at it and rearranged your wording: As a prospective International Relations major, I wish...
Undergraduatemeliza8809 - Dec 28, 2009 / sbdaiquiri - Dec 28, 2009
|Upenn Optional essay: My Goal in Life
Undergraduatezain12qa - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2009
|Stanford Intellectual Vitality Supplement Essay-String Theory
5 - Ahh the famous Brian Greene! I'm applying to Columbia :) The essay is flawless. Just one thing, if I...
Undergraduatesonrisa247 - Dec 27, 2009 / poisonivy - Dec 28, 2009
|A book that has affected you and how - Occidental Supplement
Undergraduatecucciola21 - Dec 28, 2009 / CobraRose - Dec 28, 2009
|Brown Short Answer (Anticipated Degree and Academic Interest)
Undergraduateessayhelp - Dec 28, 2009 / srandhawa - Dec 28, 2009
|SLU: Most Influential person- The Fabled Mrs. Bilinski
Undergraduatemstickel - Dec 27, 2009 / mstickel - Dec 28, 2009
|My home, The Meaning of Culture
Undergraduatespacerelay - Dec 28, 2009 / spacerelay - Dec 28, 2009
|UChicago - (Extended Essay) Outgrowing Being Short
7 - The revisions allowed it to evolve. Try to find other ways where you can show more about you....
Undergraduateluminousx - Dec 27, 2009 / jyu104 - Dec 28, 2009
|JHU Supplement Essay - Why Writing Seminars?
6 - Haha! Thank you very much for your help. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. Any suggestions on how...
Undergraduatekenzo_kun - Dec 26, 2009 / kenzo_kun - Dec 28, 2009
|'The Grameen Bank' - Stanford Supplement - Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatedanielhe - Dec 27, 2009 / danielhe - Dec 28, 2009
|Common App: Bringing Diversity
4 - ...diverse young woman emerged from that naïve little girl.---- a woman can't emerge from a little girl. You should...
UndergraduateChanelD1 - Dec 25, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 28, 2009
|Boston University-Me in 3 words
Undergraduatedanielhe - Dec 24, 2009 / danielhe - Dec 28, 2009
|Common apps topic 1: Odyssey of the Mind
Undergraduateamyhr0311 - Dec 24, 2009 / amyhr0311 - Dec 28, 2009
|Johns Hopkins Common App essay "How my country shaped me"
UndergraduateRowa - Dec 28, 2009 / nc08dkia - Dec 28, 2009
|Stanford Short response "intellectually engaging"
3 - Nice but could use some improvements, especially at the ending. I think it needs a more solid conclusion....
UndergraduateRowa - Dec 27, 2009 / Zlop - Dec 28, 2009
|"ethical dilemma that challenged you"; I stuck up with my beliefs and values
5 - I like your content but, I feel that you are emphasizing too much on stating that you are honest,...
UndergraduateFwapi - Dec 25, 2009 / mrgzg1 - Dec 28, 2009
|"Grace, what do you want to be?" BROWN Essay: PLME essay (no word count limit)
8 - I think that the quote is good, but it could really be shortened. Maybe try using something that your...
Undergraduatejoosunggrace - Dec 27, 2009 / LewisClark13 - Dec 28, 2009
|"Cherry on Top" - why brown? - Brown Supplement
8 - "is differentiated from other stores"?????? kind of sounds awkward.. but otherwise, it sounds great! Great comparison by...
Undergraduateshinhwab - Dec 24, 2009 / joosunggrace - Dec 28, 2009
|Brown "advice" essay - Pickle Time
4 - it's about what the pickle symbolizes it's redundant to say this.. Take this part out.. And I...
Undergraduategumdrop41 - Dec 28, 2009 / joosunggrace - Dec 28, 2009
|"every man is a piece of the continent" - Trinity supplement essay
2 - I think that this sentence weakens the piece. A better opening sentence here would be to jump directly...
UndergraduateSSYQ - Dec 26, 2009 / LewisClark13 - Dec 28, 2009
|'the importance of education' - STANFORD- intellectually engaging experience.
Undergraduatemichellem58867 - Dec 27, 2009 / Mayada - Dec 28, 2009
|Barnard: Journaling, War, The Little Prince, and Why Barnard?
UndergraduateSkittleRose - Dec 27, 2009 / aikd80cn - Dec 28, 2009
|Aviary Pagoda, Yuen Long Park, Hong Kong. Common App revisions - "Broadening Horizons"
13 - Hey yatindrahp, I elaborated more on the last sentence, and changed it to: The experience I gained was invaluable...
Undergraduateluminousx - Dec 26, 2009 / luminousx - Dec 28, 2009
|to become a cardiac surgeon - Wellesley College
Undergraduateace - Dec 28, 2009 / aikd80cn - Dec 28, 2009
|Princeton Supplement - answer to quote on extraordinary things in everyday life
5 - I like the essay! I'm just curious though, I am also doing an essay for the Princeton's supplement and...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 23, 2009 / TruNinjaPro - Dec 28, 2009
|Common App Essay - McDonald's
5 - You could say even my granmother who has never walked into a McDonald's, knows about it. I think its...
Undergraduategdsmp - Dec 23, 2009 / ace - Dec 28, 2009
|University of Pennsylvania; 'its commitment to social development, M&T Program'
Undergraduatetransever - Dec 27, 2009 / qianmeimei - Dec 28, 2009
|Home - there is always my heart - and it is everywhere. Common App Essay
7 - I think you should seperate this sentence. There was nothing alluring in the orange-gray field. Not even the...
UndergraduateSkittleRose - Dec 26, 2009 / Rowa - Dec 28, 2009
|"My interest lies in science" - MIT World I come from
3 - This one describes my world more. The daily hours of imprisonment were over. Discarding my backpack at home,...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 26, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 28, 2009
|Why Yale - short ans (passion in cultural studies)
8 - its great you mentioned what you intend to do with Yale resources! besides that it is vague any college...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 24, 2009 / ace - Dec 28, 2009
|mathematics, Wellesley-Describe your intellectual interests....
5 - Read the prompt again. What are your interests? How have they taken shape? Why are they your interests (i.e....
Undergraduateace - Dec 23, 2009 / Mustafa1991 - Dec 28, 2009
|"attraction towards Mathematics" - MIT admission essay
13 - It is excellent! It does show all the passion you have for mathematics. I am also applying for MIT,...
Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 26, 2009 / molecule - Dec 28, 2009
|Human Biology and Community Health, Brown Academic Fields Supplement
2 - firstly I think they count the spaces when they do the character count don't they? your essay is...
Undergraduatesbdaiquiri - Dec 28, 2009 / zowzow - Dec 28, 2009
|[Rice] What will I bring to diversity? [I need some guide!]
6 - Well friend, The things you have mentioned are really good but you really need to show how you...
Undergraduatejoonghoon5 - Dec 26, 2009 / molecule - Dec 28, 2009
|U of Illinois transfer application essay: Academic interests
6 - lol thanks for that. put a smile on my face that you actually felt compassion for me. I'll look...
Undergraduatefightingillini - Dec 27, 2009 / fightingillini - Dec 28, 2009
|Parasailing accident- commonapp essay
3 - Thanks a lot for the review. I was having trouble deciding which esssay to use for the commonapp but...
Undergraduatel3goals12 - Dec 23, 2009 / l3goals12 - Dec 28, 2009
|UIUC: Extracurricular activity (Designing Costume)
Undergraduateyoungkim9193 - Dec 23, 2009 / fightingillini - Dec 28, 2009
|Poverty and lack of education in Kosovo - personal, local, international concern
4 - Kosovo, a tiny dot in any geographical map, is the country I come from. As the newest country in...
Undergraduatemjellma - Dec 27, 2009 / luminousx - Dec 27, 2009
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