|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 346 of 429|
|"Everybody thinks of changing humanity, and nobody thinks of changing himself" NYU Abu Dhabi essay
2 - hi. i think this question has a catch..you have to approach it by saying that maybe you dont want...
Undergraduatehodari - Dec 25, 2009 / meisj0n - Dec 25, 2009
|"Like a Pair of Shoes " Is this really a setback
2 - is this really a setback? If you focus more on what you had to face with your twin, maybe...if...
Undergraduateybomcl - Dec 25, 2009 / meisj0n - Dec 25, 2009
|"My Real Life Hero" - Common Application Essay Help-- Significant Influence
6 - Great job. Your narrative is brilliant and it shows how your mother inspired you. She spent endless hours...
Undergraduatedesidude2011 - Dec 21, 2009 / ChanelD1 - Dec 25, 2009
|Experience, Famous New Yorker, Limerick - NYU Supplement
9 - the limerick is definitely better. as for the summer vacation, i don't think this is what they're...
UndergraduateSweetDaniGrl13 - Dec 17, 2009 / hodari - Dec 25, 2009
|Why Northwestern? (exemplary professors and many research investigations)
UndergraduateTictac8 - Dec 23, 2009 / aikd80cn - Dec 25, 2009
|Music - MIT - what do you do for pleasure essay
2 - Instead of de-stress maybe unwind? or relax? Blaring loudly I felt the sentences were a little bogged...
Undergraduateginny434 - Dec 25, 2009 / Partyfann - Dec 25, 2009
|'San Francisco and the Golden Gate Bridge' - makes Stanford a good place for you?
Undergraduateshannon92 - Dec 16, 2009 / wanderlust - Dec 25, 2009
|"collaboration with the minitry of health": page 217 of my autobiography
2 - Very good essay and creative idea. But please take another moment to think of a autobiography, the language should...
Undergraduategemma2345 - Dec 24, 2009 / dingpx - Dec 25, 2009
|Cornell Supplement essay - College of Agriculture & Life Sciences; Animal Sci
4 - I agree with Susan that you need to mention more about the school itself. Otherwise, it's a great esssay!...
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 23, 2009 / shinhwab - Dec 25, 2009
|Cornell Arts&Sciences Supplement - cultural studies and social work
3 - Yes, thank you sadhvi010!! Your comments DEFINITELY helped a lot. Cutting down a few words here and there also...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 24, 2009 / swuvvy - Dec 25, 2009
|University of Pennsylvania Academic/Social Communities Essay-Supplementary
8 - I changed my essay up a little bit. If anyone could check for grammar it would be great (commas,...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 20, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 24, 2009
|Misconceptions: the best way to fight them is to prevent them from being formed in the first place.
7 - Well, the essay is not really about misconceptions. Your point about misconceptions will be most impressive if you...
Undergraduatemmmargarita - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Why Chicago? Supplement - how does UChic satisfy desire for learning =)
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Pratt Personal Statement - Design
3 - This is an essay that seems like it could be improved by switching the first and last paragraphs. Try...
Undergraduatelaurel_ltt - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|'hurdles at their full race height' - Common Application - Short Answer - Hurdling
5 - I like the essay, and think it does a good job considering the subject matter. The only think I'd...
Undergraduatemrwonderr - Dec 24, 2009 / pmurray62 - Dec 24, 2009
|A Personal Dream: Yale Supplemental
2 - I thought a Tower of Babel was a bad thing. Before the tower of babel, everyone spoke the same...
Undergraduatejwrc5 - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|Pomona Essay prompt: fun extracurricular event
4 - Okay thanks for the advice I will try to change the first paragraph. Although I'm not that great...
Undergraduateleslery - Dec 24, 2009 / leslery - Dec 24, 2009
|trivial video game - Pomona supplement-What I do for fun
4 - Ohhhh hahah ok thank you! Is my essay long enough though? Should I include more about myself?...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App: Evaluate a significant experience -getting lost in an airport
3 - As we made our farewells to the city and walked into the San Francisco Airport, I reluctantly thought (choose...
Undergraduatemissioncontrol - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|My name and it's influences on me: COMMON APP ESSAY:
5 - Though your original is gone, this revision appears to be almost identical, so my earlier comments stand. Sorry I...
Undergraduatejuesewang - Dec 21, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 24, 2009
|Challenging,stimulating,or provocative boook - Michigan essay help
Undergraduatecser315465327 - Dec 23, 2009 / cser315465327 - Dec 24, 2009
|UVA Engineering Prompt-
4 - I also agree, u need to write about UVA's engineering program. But I can see the effort u put...
Undergraduatetimtebow - Dec 24, 2009 / Nasir2009 - Dec 24, 2009
|Doodling Over Calculus- Emerson Essay
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Dec 21, 2009 / caisson22 - Dec 24, 2009
|"'curious and open' - Why Emory
Undergraduategeo20040334 - Dec 24, 2009 / geo20040334 - Dec 24, 2009
|Cornell Supplemeent - Intellectual Interests at College of Arts and Sciece =)
4 - I actually got rid of that in general haha...it suited better for another essay and if I included that...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 21, 2009 / timeturner36 - Dec 24, 2009
|Lehigh Supplement Question- Why Lehigh? and Define Equity and Community?
7 - Furthermore the passion and devotion that one has for their community will in turn make said community stronger. --->...
Undergraduatechristmastree - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|"independent person"- family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
3 - My family's culture has given me the confidence to overcome every obstacle that has been presented to me. ---->...
Undergraduateejiro - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|"Stronger" - Name an influential person: My Father (Common app essay)
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 21, 2009 / daisyx3 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App Short Essay- My experience in FIRST Robotics!
Undergraduatezain12qa - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Maybe the Christians are right. Or the Muslims. Or the Buddhists. - Stanford
9 - ok thank you...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|My New "Job" / Odyssey of the Mind - Being A Big Sister, common apps essay (own topic)
5 - thanks so much for your feedback :D i had been editting them in the mean time and trying very...
Undergraduateamyhr0311 - Dec 22, 2009 / amyhr0311 - Dec 24, 2009
|Stanford-Tutoring the Tudors-Intellectual Vitality
8 - Thank you for your feedback, I think you guys are right, that if I try and make everything more...
UndergraduateNeoGeo - Dec 24, 2009 / NeoGeo - Dec 24, 2009
|Williams "Looking through a window" Essay
3 - The essay would read more interestingly if you have dialogue that would be between you and your friend about...
UndergraduateEkooo - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Williams essay; looking through a window at a significant environment
7 - I think elaboration would be helpful. It would make second to third paragraph transition more smooth if there was...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 24, 2009 / Ekooo - Dec 24, 2009
|INSPIRE & SURE - Emory Univeristy Supplemental
7 - Instead of stating that it is one of the best research universities you should comment on one of Emory's...
UndergraduateTictac8 - Dec 22, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Brown Supplement - how a book influenced you (le petit prince)
3 - It's a great essay! :D I only have one suggestion, the most part of your essay is talking about...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 23, 2009 / gumdrop41 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common app short answer; teaching assistant
2 - Interesting read that is interesting to read. Add more specific events, don't talk about things such as the main...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|"Growing up and the medical field" - UIC GPPA essay
2 - But work on rewording this essay, it could be written in more, eloquent language. I'd also say that emphasize...
Undergraduateumrily181 - Dec 24, 2009 / Juniper_Jumper - Dec 24, 2009
|Listening or Speaking? - Common App essay
8 - Thanks for all the inputs guys...please feel free to add more. And for those who told me that my...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 22, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 24, 2009
|I am planning to study development sociology and try also to do apply economics and management
3 - Faisal P, hey I corrected som grammatical mistakes I had, I dont know ir there is anymore and if...
Undergraduatenik12 - Dec 21, 2009 / nik12 - Dec 24, 2009
|Am I Doing this Right? Additional Information Essay to Harvard College.
6 - Hah, an entire essay about a fart in an elevator. Its actually really good. It reminds me of the...
UndergraduateDevataa - Dec 24, 2009 / AbhijeetS - Dec 24, 2009
|Personal Statement for commonapp - A lesson
3 - wow I couldnt help feeling touched by your essay! the last paragraph was empowering and you showed your resolve...
Undergraduatejelly - Dec 23, 2009 / amyhr0311 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App short answer about theatre
5 - Wow! SO muchhh bettterrrr! =) The only thing now that caught my attention was "Actors must become their...
Undergraduateinsomnia - Dec 23, 2009 / RabiaG - Dec 24, 2009
|Cornell(College of Arts and Science)-Your intellectual interest.
UndergraduateHarmonSa - Dec 16, 2009 / batmankiller - Dec 24, 2009
|"elaborate on one of your activities" - UVA short answer
12 - The third person seems odd, I also suggest first person. Any strong example will prove valuable to the essay....
Undergraduateerinhcho - Dec 18, 2009 / molecule - Dec 24, 2009
|NCSSM admissons essay: adversity
Undergraduatekatielady108 - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Princeton-write about a person you admire & how they have influenced your life
4 - "Because of the book, I have kept the desire to become a cardiologist close to my heart regardless of...
Undergraduateace - Dec 23, 2009 / Devataa - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App Essay: Carl Sagan
UndergraduateMpx - Dec 23, 2009 / nc08dkia - Dec 24, 2009
|University of Rochester supplement. Short Answer, Individuality and independence
Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 23, 2009 / kda013 - Dec 24, 2009
|"my Japanese classes" - Why Swarthmore Essay
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 23, 2009 / swuvvy - Dec 24, 2009
|Macalester College - WHY MACALESTER?! Why do you believe it may be a good match
2 - I have always wanted to study in the States, as I had lived there for a significant fraction of...
Undergraduatekrazzikittie - Dec 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|'an orthopedic surgeon' - CORNELL College of Agriculture and Life Sciences
Undergraduateashleigh7217 - Dec 12, 2009 / ashleigh7217 - Dec 24, 2009
|"being a trilingual Egyptian and Palestinian" - Michigan diversity essay
Undergraduateraezzat - Dec 23, 2009 / raezzat - Dec 24, 2009
|A Quantum Amateur-MIT World Essay
2 - Most kind kindest You have not really written about him here. You said he influenced you, but then...
UndergraduateNeoGeo - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|World beyond my village; "Memorable experience in high school"
4 - Remove "all" and insert a comma: ".. around the village, obstructing..." Otherwise it sounds as if the...
Undergraduatesupten - Dec 24, 2009 / goldeneye98 - Dec 24, 2009
|Confused about John Nash, Barnard Short Answer
4 - thats why i became confused. i based my response off of the character i saw from the movie not...
Undergraduatejuliasharp - Dec 24, 2009 / juliasharp - Dec 24, 2009
|"My second family" - Northwestern Supplement Essay
Undergraduateahc0212 - Dec 20, 2009 / ahc0212 - Dec 24, 2009
|Violin Concerto, Jade -questions for University essays for University of Virgina
3 - Thank you for your quick reply! Your point is really good! But I am kind of struggling with my...
Undergraduatezhuzhe53 - Dec 24, 2009 / zhuzhe53 - Dec 24, 2009
|regional Science Olympiad - "How Did You Get Caught?" Essay
4 - Hey, answering your posted question: So, I believe that this essay focuses greatly upon personal ambitions (sorry if the...
Undergraduatefahdh2 - Dec 15, 2009 / ganadara000 - Dec 24, 2009
|Stanford Supplement Suggestions: Describe something intellecutally stimulating
6 - You should elaborate more on how this influenced you. I feel like I'm reading an explanation. It's a good...
Undergraduatejwrc5 - Dec 23, 2009 / gynn92 - Dec 24, 2009
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