|Undergraduate [25,499] - page 347 of 425|
|'It seems pretty simple' - Vires, artes, mores - Florida State Admissions
3 - i think it's a little too simple. you should have more eye catching characteristics and more details good...
Undergraduatepackersrule522 - Dec 15, 2009 / collegebound1 - Dec 16, 2009
|UCF "How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are"
UndergraduatePatelJ - Dec 14, 2009 / collegebound1 - Dec 16, 2009
|Common Application Long Answer : Changes - Operation Smile Vietnam
Undergraduatenagaking - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Global energy crisis affecting my generation- UT Austin Prompt B
3 - No, it was thrust upon us by a previous epoch, as industrialization took stride, efficiency and innovation becoming top...
Undergraduatedavid2010 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|Symphony - Williams Admission Essay
3 - ...same fondness that I afford a well-executed performance-with pride and knowledge that I have done that best that I...
Undergraduatekoldingi - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|A Person With Significant Influence on You--Common App Personal Statement
10 - Fair enough. Now that you chose to focus on film at this point in your life, I suggest being...
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Nov 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Coffee seed, coffee tree and Starbucks - Common apps: topic of your choice
9 - This is excellent. I enjoy reading it and don't want to change anything. I'll look at this last part...
Undergraduateeternal flame - Aug 30, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Temple essay - about me in 10 years from now; career in pharmacy
5 - As I reflect upon my personal and professional life, I can proudly tell you that my resume is filled...
UndergraduateEGLC - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|BROWN- my dream university; 'My interest in the international community'
7 - In the summer after grade 11, I interned During an internship at Aditya Sondhi Law Chambers, Bangalore, through which...
UndergraduateIntlIndian - Dec 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|My Personal Statement for University entry to study Accounting.
3 - Add a comma: I have always had this passion for business and calculation, and that... Life is always...
Undergraduateobistaiwo - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|George Washington U. professional, communicative politician
Undergraduatephhusm2000 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|An Accident - Yale supplement, is effective to convey a sense of adventure?
4 - Okay, you are leading my attention all over the place. You begin talking about an injury, and then...
UndergraduateEddy92 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Bowdoin College Supplement Essay-How have you prepared for Bowdoin?
Undergraduatexugx29 - Dec 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Common application (my IT skills)
5 - During summer 2008 I have developed a hotels administration system. Later that year I had already sold ten copies...
Undergraduategkuizinas - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Tutoring Spanish students - Why Northwestern University Transfer Essay?
2 - All this material, starting with the moment of your birth, is a very roundabout way of getting to...
UndergraduateJholton247 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern (opportunities and Nobel prize-winning professors)
2 - The whole first paragraph is so general that it could be said of almost any school. I recommend starting...
UndergraduateNatalie391 - Nov 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|[Princeton] My conquered walls
4 - "Trial and error" is an expression to refer to a haphazard way of figuring something out. It does...
Undergraduateseongwoomama3 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|dance programs in private studios, Macaulay Essay
Undergraduatemr_turtle - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|common app Questiion #1- "Destiny is no matter of chance"
4 - This sentence, above, should have one more sentence that comes after it, before the first paragraph ends. End...
Undergraduatemastersirob - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|UC Prompt #2: My Future as a Comedian
Undergraduatenikhurs - Nov 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Acting and being onstage, Williams Prompt... any suggestions?
3 - You mentioned the butterflies twice, and it is probably better to only mention them once. Also, tis prompt...
Undergraduateburntaquaflame - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|How has a piece of art changed your life/evaluate a significant risk
2 - Years went by before I encountered my first taste of art education in elementary school, where the assignments... ...
Undergraduateconquistadori - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|"A book that changed the way you see the world" - Les Misérables Macaulay Honors
UndergraduatePetitPicpus - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|'Math, constructing and designing models' - Lafayette Supplement Essay Help
7 - Though this essay clearly convey your interest and your strength, I think you need to reorganize your essay since...
Undergraduatelycjack - Nov 7, 2009 / yf8651 - Dec 16, 2009
|Cornell University (College of Arts and Sciences Supplement)
3 - I'm excited about your future in politics! I noticed in another of your essays that you write very well,...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Macaulay Honors Essay- Local/National/International Concern
5 - You have a sentence fragment above: not to be confused... is an incomplete sentence. You seem to be...
UndergraduateDmarte92 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|volunteer job at Almaty stuttering foundation, Commonapp short essay
4 - Thanks for replies.Taking them into account I made huge changes in my essay) I volunteered at Almaty stuttering...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Dec 16, 2009 / birzhanfm - Dec 16, 2009
|Education and what don't you know-For Brown
3 - Thank you, thank you, thank you...I never thought I would make so much mistakes!! I've already made a second...
UndergraduateHarmonSa - Dec 14, 2009 / HarmonSa - Dec 16, 2009
|NYU Supplement Personal Statements -- Looking for Constructive Criticism!
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern-Why do you want to attend this university?
1 - Hello, guys! please help me proofread this essay. Any comment and critique is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance! ...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 16, 2009 / — -
|Lehigh Supplement Essay. Critique and give me a helping hand.
3 - It's a well written essay since you have put your personal life in it as well.But according to me,you...
Undergraduatebaboozled - Nov 29, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Lehigh University + Equity and Community - Supplement
7 - Even I m writing this essay.You should probably research more and include atleast two specific communities of the University...
Undergraduatejsdginger - Dec 10, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|"Farewell to My Concubine" - Experience: Leave the Comfort Zone
7 - I really liked this essay :-) It's humorous, self-deprecating and yet positive and upbeat. There are a few grammatical...
Undergraduateayida365 - Dec 13, 2009 / Moonshadow0302 - Dec 16, 2009
|The most unhappy day in my life ("my father was in bed for ever")
5 - Thank you Kim Creawell, you are probably teacher, aren't you? I feel your ideal is authentic! One more...
Undergraduateautumnwave - Dec 9, 2009 / autumnwave - Dec 16, 2009
|undergraduate course at SVA, Writing Statement of intent!
Undergraduatefourplustwo - Dec 14, 2009 / fourplustwo - Dec 16, 2009
|About gratitude I have learned (common application main essay)
8 - Thanks for mention that, Katie. I am still working on other awkward sentences. I will read your essay....
Undergraduatethcays - Dec 13, 2009 / thcays - Dec 16, 2009
|Eating roti canai - common application long answer
3 - Thank you so much Jeannie!!! I really appreciate the help!! I totally agree with you about the tenses. I'll...
Undergraduatebluemenon - Dec 14, 2009 / bluemenon - Dec 16, 2009
|"my love for psychology" - Is my essay too objective?
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 6, 2009 / keilinger - Dec 15, 2009
|'I have three very close friends'; an ethical dilemma that challenged you.
Undergraduatehern255 - Dec 9, 2009 / hern255 - Dec 15, 2009
|'I successfully founded an electronics club' - MIT creativity essay
4 - My interest in sciences (which ones? chem? physics?) when I was in boarding school. try to make this...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 14, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|Studying in Poland and being caught by the emigration to the U.S.A. University of Chicago essay.
Undergraduaterafaltrus - Dec 13, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|Poverty - Common App. Essay on a National Concern to You
5 - You don't need to define what poverty is. Besides, this sentence is flawed. Actually, I think starting your...
Undergraduatemamamia4592 - Dec 6, 2009 / Logical_Fella_C - Dec 15, 2009
|Family culture/enviroment influences and why i choosed to apply UCF essay
5 - Thank for your advice, i changed the things you both recommended and changed a few other things. heres the...
Undergraduatemichaelrulaz - Dec 13, 2009 / michaelrulaz - Dec 15, 2009
|A book, artwork, or lab experiment that changed my world - CommonApp Essay
Undergraduatemr_turtle - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"I have grown up on two continents" - Common App Personal Essay on Diversity
5 - Right after this sentence, give one more sentence in order to tell the reader clearly what your answer...
Undergraduatetalanchi - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|SUNY Purchase Film Conservatory Essay
5 - This last paragraph is too long. I think you should do a para break after "things which I specifically...
UndergraduateShelby13092 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"Issue of Underfunding Pediatric Cancer Research" UTAustin Essay 2
3 - All this stuff at the beginning should come in paragraph 2 instead: Pediatrics in the medical word constitutes children...
UndergraduateLChase - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|UT Austin- Grandfather Inspiration
3 - After I saw firsthand how unequally life treats people, my goals and perspective in life have changed so as...
Undergraduatefizzle138 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"Life is like a box of chocolates" - COMMON APP Activities Short Essay
4 - I like how you integrate the quote, but it seems like you only want to emphasize that you've been...
UndergraduateTrojan2010 - Dec 13, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 15, 2009
|"Convey to the Reader a Sense of Who You Are" - Columbia and Common App Essay
3 - I have made it my aim to look for these moments, regardless of the setting in which they take...
UndergraduatePetitPicpus - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|USC Transfer Essay Prompt - What Matters To Me & Why
UndergraduateEDD - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|[Application essay]Dream to study abroad ...
10 - Hello! I want to suggest cutting out this first paragraph. It is not because your insights are not good;...
Undergraduateyin - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|UC essay- Learn form your mistakes
Undergraduatefizzle138 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Interesting and to the point? UWisc,madison essay
3 - What did you mean about giving tuition for other students? Did you mean tutoring? I think it looks nicer...
UndergraduateISer0909 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Political Conflict in Bangladesh-Macaulay Honors Admission Essay
3 - Hope I am not too late: Joltingjolted awake, I quickly opened (...) to catch a glimpse of what?...
Undergraduateamitdeb92 - Dec 14, 2009 / Princess Daisy - Dec 15, 2009
|Vice President of the student government program
4 - thanks alot. the prompt was just to write a personal statement . So i decided to write about the...
Undergraduatebigdaddy - Dec 14, 2009 / bigdaddy - Dec 15, 2009
|"Plain and Brown" - about a topic of my choice. how my country helped me change
6 - Rowa I love your essay; I think you have a remarkable conclusion. The last paragraph has a lot...
UndergraduateRowa - Dec 1, 2009 / Princess Daisy - Dec 15, 2009
|Helpful suggestions needed for essay- Carpe Diem
14 - These are good examples, by the way, good choices. Yes, this is great introspection. maybe premature...
Undergraduateibtessam - Nov 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Why engineering-an experience that sparked your interest in engineering
6 - My interest in engineering environmental engineering actually comes from my experiences of a river near the house where I...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Research and independence essay- include an abstract or summary of your work
3 - Right here, you should not use a capitalletter after a semi-colon: Factories side by side occupy the space that...
Undergraduatetiger6 - Dec 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
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