|Undergraduate [25,607] - page 349 of 427|
|Bowdoin College Supplement Essay-How have you prepared for Bowdoin?
Undergraduatexugx29 - Dec 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Common application (my IT skills)
5 - During summer 2008 I have developed a hotels administration system. Later that year I had already sold ten copies...
Undergraduategkuizinas - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Tutoring Spanish students - Why Northwestern University Transfer Essay?
2 - All this material, starting with the moment of your birth, is a very roundabout way of getting to...
UndergraduateJholton247 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern (opportunities and Nobel prize-winning professors)
2 - The whole first paragraph is so general that it could be said of almost any school. I recommend starting...
UndergraduateNatalie391 - Nov 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|[Princeton] My conquered walls
4 - "Trial and error" is an expression to refer to a haphazard way of figuring something out. It does...
Undergraduateseongwoomama3 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|dance programs in private studios, Macaulay Essay
Undergraduatemr_turtle - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|common app Questiion #1- "Destiny is no matter of chance"
4 - This sentence, above, should have one more sentence that comes after it, before the first paragraph ends. End...
Undergraduatemastersirob - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|UC Prompt #2: My Future as a Comedian
Undergraduatenikhurs - Nov 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Acting and being onstage, Williams Prompt... any suggestions?
3 - You mentioned the butterflies twice, and it is probably better to only mention them once. Also, tis prompt...
Undergraduateburntaquaflame - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|How has a piece of art changed your life/evaluate a significant risk
2 - Years went by before I encountered my first taste of art education in elementary school, where the assignments... ...
Undergraduateconquistadori - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|"A book that changed the way you see the world" - Les Misérables Macaulay Honors
UndergraduatePetitPicpus - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|'tremendous opportunities' - Brown: Interest and Appeal to Brown
4 - "The prestigious and world renowned programs and professors that Brown University is known for will help craft those infatuations...
Undergraduateallathlete5 - Dec 14, 2009 / yf8651 - Dec 16, 2009
|'Math, constructing and designing models' - Lafayette Supplement Essay Help
7 - Though this essay clearly convey your interest and your strength, I think you need to reorganize your essay since...
Undergraduatelycjack - Nov 7, 2009 / yf8651 - Dec 16, 2009
|Cornell University (College of Arts and Sciences Supplement)
3 - I'm excited about your future in politics! I noticed in another of your essays that you write very well,...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Macaulay Honors Essay- Local/National/International Concern
5 - You have a sentence fragment above: not to be confused... is an incomplete sentence. You seem to be...
UndergraduateDmarte92 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|NYU Supplement Personal Statements -- Looking for Constructive Criticism!
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern-Why do you want to attend this university?
NEW - Hello, guys! please help me proofread this essay. Any comment and critique is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance! ...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 16, 2009 / — -
|volunteer job at Almaty stuttering foundation, Commonapp short essay
2 - Grammatical errors: "During the financial crisis the foundation..." ".. started a new fund raising campaign." "everyone contributed a lot...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Dec 16, 2009 / trosky2000 - Dec 16, 2009
|Lehigh Supplement Essay. Critique and give me a helping hand.
3 - It's a well written essay since you have put your personal life in it as well.But according to me,you...
Undergraduatebaboozled - Nov 29, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Lehigh University + Equity and Community - Supplement
6 - Even I m writing this essay.You should probably research more and include atleast two specific communities of the University...
Undergraduatejsdginger - Dec 10, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|"Farewell to My Concubine" - Experience: Leave the Comfort Zone
7 - I really liked this essay :-) It's humorous, self-deprecating and yet positive and upbeat. There are a few grammatical...
Undergraduateayida365 - Dec 13, 2009 / Moonshadow0302 - Dec 16, 2009
|The most unhappy day in my life ("my father was in bed for ever")
5 - Thank you Kim Creawell, you are probably teacher, aren't you? I feel your ideal is authentic! One more...
Undergraduateautumnwave - Dec 9, 2009 / autumnwave - Dec 16, 2009
|undergraduate course at SVA, Writing Statement of intent!
Undergraduatefourplustwo - Dec 14, 2009 / fourplustwo - Dec 16, 2009
|About gratitude I have learned (common application main essay)
8 - Thanks for mention that, Katie. I am still working on other awkward sentences. I will read your essay....
Undergraduatethcays - Dec 13, 2009 / thcays - Dec 16, 2009
|Eating roti canai - common application long answer
3 - Thank you so much Jeannie!!! I really appreciate the help!! I totally agree with you about the tenses. I'll...
Undergraduatebluemenon - Dec 14, 2009 / bluemenon - Dec 16, 2009
|"my love for psychology" - Is my essay too objective?
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 6, 2009 / keilinger - Dec 15, 2009
|'I have three very close friends'; an ethical dilemma that challenged you.
Undergraduatehern255 - Dec 9, 2009 / hern255 - Dec 15, 2009
|'I successfully founded an electronics club' - MIT creativity essay
4 - My interest in sciences (which ones? chem? physics?) when I was in boarding school. try to make this...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 14, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|Studying in Poland and being caught by the emigration to the U.S.A. University of Chicago essay.
Undergraduaterafaltrus - Dec 13, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|Poverty - Common App. Essay on a National Concern to You
5 - You don't need to define what poverty is. Besides, this sentence is flawed. Actually, I think starting your...
Undergraduatemamamia4592 - Dec 6, 2009 / Logical_Fella_C - Dec 15, 2009
|Family culture/enviroment influences and why i choosed to apply UCF essay
5 - Thank for your advice, i changed the things you both recommended and changed a few other things. heres the...
Undergraduatemichaelrulaz - Dec 13, 2009 / michaelrulaz - Dec 15, 2009
|A book, artwork, or lab experiment that changed my world - CommonApp Essay
Undergraduatemr_turtle - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"I have grown up on two continents" - Common App Personal Essay on Diversity
5 - Right after this sentence, give one more sentence in order to tell the reader clearly what your answer...
Undergraduatetalanchi - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|SUNY Purchase Film Conservatory Essay
5 - This last paragraph is too long. I think you should do a para break after "things which I specifically...
UndergraduateShelby13092 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"Issue of Underfunding Pediatric Cancer Research" UTAustin Essay 2
3 - All this stuff at the beginning should come in paragraph 2 instead: Pediatrics in the medical word constitutes children...
UndergraduateLChase - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|UT Austin- Grandfather Inspiration
3 - After I saw firsthand how unequally life treats people, my goals and perspective in life have changed so as...
Undergraduatefizzle138 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|"Life is like a box of chocolates" - COMMON APP Activities Short Essay
4 - I like how you integrate the quote, but it seems like you only want to emphasize that you've been...
UndergraduateTrojan2010 - Dec 13, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 15, 2009
|"Convey to the Reader a Sense of Who You Are" - Columbia and Common App Essay
3 - I have made it my aim to look for these moments, regardless of the setting in which they take...
UndergraduatePetitPicpus - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|USC Transfer Essay Prompt - What Matters To Me & Why
UndergraduateEDD - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|[Application essay]Dream to study abroad ...
10 - Hello! I want to suggest cutting out this first paragraph. It is not because your insights are not good;...
Undergraduateyin - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|UC essay- Learn form your mistakes
Undergraduatefizzle138 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Interesting and to the point? UWisc,madison essay
3 - What did you mean about giving tuition for other students? Did you mean tutoring? I think it looks nicer...
UndergraduateISer0909 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Political Conflict in Bangladesh-Macaulay Honors Admission Essay
3 - Hope I am not too late: Joltingjolted awake, I quickly opened (...) to catch a glimpse of what?...
Undergraduateamitdeb92 - Dec 14, 2009 / Princess Daisy - Dec 15, 2009
|Vice President of the student government program
4 - thanks alot. the prompt was just to write a personal statement . So i decided to write about the...
Undergraduatebigdaddy - Dec 14, 2009 / bigdaddy - Dec 15, 2009
|"Plain and Brown" - about a topic of my choice. how my country helped me change
6 - Rowa I love your essay; I think you have a remarkable conclusion. The last paragraph has a lot...
UndergraduateRowa - Dec 1, 2009 / Princess Daisy - Dec 15, 2009
|A sigificant experience - hoping that my stutter would disappear
5 - actually, they do...if tho they don't say it blatantly it all depends on your overall app. Smit...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Dec 15, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|My UCAS Statement of Purpose- political science and international relations
3 - As a way of being respectful to the dead, you might want to say "affected me as deeply" instead...
UndergraduateIntlIndian - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Helpful suggestions needed for essay- Carpe Diem
14 - These are good examples, by the way, good choices. Yes, this is great introspection. maybe premature...
Undergraduateibtessam - Nov 9, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Why engineering-an experience that sparked your interest in engineering
6 - My interest in engineering environmental engineering actually comes from my experiences of a river near the house where I...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 11, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Research and independence essay- include an abstract or summary of your work
3 - Right here, you should not use a capitalletter after a semi-colon: Factories side by side occupy the space that...
Undergraduatetiger6 - Dec 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 15, 2009
|Stanford Essay : Stars live and they die.
10 - Thanks! I have another one if you have time to read it that would be really cool. thanks you...
Undergraduateschmevie - Dec 14, 2009 / schmevie - Dec 15, 2009
|"She was a 7lb 11oz bundle of joy" - UT admission essay number 1
25 - yea...that's kinda the problem because it was done so quickly, and so blatantly (sry for the word,...
Undergraduateemma41192 - Dec 6, 2009 / yang - Dec 14, 2009
|Cornell University -- Why Engineering?
Undergraduatejjeff - Dec 13, 2009 / ruzhang143 - Dec 14, 2009
|"Why did you choose to apply to UCF?" Essay for admission.
6 - I don't think you should start with the same question that they asked you. Try using a different question...
UndergraduatePatelJ - Dec 10, 2009 / amitdeb92 - Dec 14, 2009
|"Checkmate!" Shogi, or Chinese Chess Common App Essay!
4 - Ah, thank you! And thanks for returning the favor, ethelion. It might not seem bad because it went...
Undergraduatehjungj21o - Dec 14, 2009 / hjungj21o - Dec 14, 2009
|How my experiences working in a rehabilitation center had a great impact on me.
Undergraduategaga100 - Dec 13, 2009 / gaga100 - Dec 14, 2009
|Statement of Purpose for MFA in New Media at University of Illinois
Undergraduatetheirskills - Dec 11, 2009 / theirskills - Dec 14, 2009
|Being the captain for my school's soccer team - elaborate on one of your activities
4 - I am not involved in every club in my school; however, I have great passion for soccer soccer team...
Undergraduatesighcollegeapps - Dec 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 14, 2009
|Geerd Diercksen, Essay A: some one who has made an impact in your life
7 - Naniella, I sure do think they will appreciate you despite grammatical errors. It is so impressive for you...
UndergraduateNaniella09 - Dec 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 14, 2009
|Brown University Supplemental: Influence or Inspiration
Undergraduateallathlete5 - Dec 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 14, 2009
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