|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 349 of 429|
|An artist's hands - UC Essay
17 - Hey guys, thanks for all the edits!! It really helped a lot, and I've already submitted it for UCs,...
Undergraduategumdrop41 - Nov 12, 2009 / gumdrop41 - Dec 21, 2009
|Undergraduate admissionto KU :Self description and Study plan essay
UndergraduateBakachi - Dec 20, 2009 / Bakachi - Dec 21, 2009
|Johns Hopkins Supplement - Yay Genetics!
3 - I think you did a great job explaining why you want to pursue a career in genetics. The essay...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 21, 2009 / daisyx3 - Dec 21, 2009
|Common App Topic Of Your Choice Essay Interweaving Football with Education
4 - Oops! Thanks, Kevin! I was away typing you a message when you were already here! Weirrrrd. Disregard my message...
Undergraduaterememberthe - Dec 19, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 21, 2009
|ESSAY- Cornell Schoolof Architecture
5 - Good sentence!!!!!! As I anchored the last piece of chipboard onto my cube, my fingers sticky with...
Undergraduatedollarchitect - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Common App: Person who has influenced you (Ms.Young)
2 - You should mention Ms. Young in your first paragraph. Before I became her student, there were some serious...
Undergraduatedollarchitect - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 21, 2009
|'seventy-eight years old' has had a significant influence on you...my grandmother
6 - My grandmother, who is now seventy-eight years old, has been a unique and exemplar y _________. She is the...
UndergraduateJduran9 - Nov 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|My family and WWW, MIT - Describe the world you come from - does it convey?
Undergraduateukarmy04 - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|major in biotechnology - Why Tufts?
Undergraduatelillyforlunch - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|YALE SECOND ESSAY: "THE PIECES OF ME"
3 - Ali, I hope you'll start giving some ideas as well as encouragement. It is nice that you offer kind...
Undergraduateheavyman - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|A European Experiment in Intolerance
UndergraduateQuickStudy - Dec 18, 2009 / QuickStudy - Dec 21, 2009
|NYU supplement- In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life.
4 - Maybe approach the prompt as the movie is not made about your life at 60, but rather the last...
Undergraduateldh8504 - Dec 21, 2009 / hehalter - Dec 21, 2009
|Princeton Summers (or vacations between school years)
4 - Well, part of the purpose here is to show them that you can write good composition. So... you...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Tufts Supplement: Self-identity supplement
2 - Or when in fifth grade, I discovered a book of poetry by Emily Dickinson and "Hope is the Thing...
Undergraduatehehalter - Dec 21, 2009 / twizzlestraw - Dec 21, 2009
|Why Stony Brooks? "USB is the ideal school for me."
4 - This sentence sounds a little too much like a brochure... like you had to look at the website...
UndergraduateJd87rh - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|My year as a foreign exchange student in the US, Common Application / own topic
4 - My year as an exchange student in the U.S. was an amazing experience that changed my way of ......
Undergraduateknutschfleck - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|UNC prompt: Stinsonitis
Undergraduatelowcal - Dec 20, 2009 / lowcal - Dec 21, 2009
|Lehigh supplement essay about community and equity
Undergraduateguga23 - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Brown supplement: Education and what don't you know
3 - In middle high school, I studied in a lower-level class -whats middle high school? middle school? I really...
Undergraduatezsjdanny - Dec 18, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 21, 2009
|"Intelluctual interest, evolution,and excitement" Cornell collegeof Arts&Science
3 - 1.) I think you should tell where you come from in that first paragraph so that the reader knows...
Undergraduatekatilope - Dec 18, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 21, 2009
|Michigan essay your favourite book
6 - I think the pace is little bit fast, and you should reduce this telling, and increase the showing. ...
Undergraduategvranurag - Dec 20, 2009 / ldh8504 - Dec 21, 2009
|Harvard supplement- Books that have affected you the most
Undergraduateeyo - Dec 21, 2009 / qianmeimei - Dec 21, 2009
|media group, artists - Application Essay
Undergraduatechaichihyi - Dec 17, 2009 / chaichihyi - Dec 21, 2009
|"Chapter 28" - Penn Supplement - one page from my autobiography
5 - You could turn it into one of those events you'll look back to when you become a professional...
Undergraduatebluekleenexx - Dec 9, 2009 / l3goals12 - Dec 21, 2009
|Essay for entering into SCAD: selected major Photography and film/television
UndergraduateJenn1124 - Dec 19, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 21, 2009
|" I wanted my own disposable income" - Tutoring & cognitive science (ACTIVITY)
6 - Oy......
UndergraduateLgolos - Dec 17, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 21, 2009
|Cornell; intellectual interests - new journey in life
3 - I don't think your essay is as personal as it could be. Maybe you could add a short, meaningful...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 21, 2009 / ZBurf - Dec 21, 2009
|Brown Supplement - "Why Brown?" and "Anticipated Degree"
4 - Thanks for the comment. Yeah, you can figure out your interested in it from that but still you don't...
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 20, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 21, 2009
|Why Yale Supplement essay - (community is dynamic and eclectic)
10 - muchhh better...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 20, 2009 / ekfoong - Dec 20, 2009
|MIT short answer: something you do for the pleasure of it
8 - you have the overall idea but may be you should consider expanding. i know its a word limit, but...
UndergraduateNBAhmed - Dec 10, 2009 / lowcal - Dec 20, 2009
|'no competition among students' - Swarthmore supplement: 'Why Swarthmore?' essay
Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 19, 2009 / kda013 - Dec 20, 2009
|Tennis, MATCH POINT - Common app essay of your choice
Undergraduateolawunmi8 - Dec 16, 2009 / olawunmi8 - Dec 20, 2009
|Common Application-Genunine leader : Evaluate a significant experience
5 - This is just technical, but in the sentence, "No specific spotlight directed me but more glaring eyes fell on...
Undergraduateappletree12 - Dec 20, 2009 / sbrooks10 - Dec 20, 2009
|"I study physics during my free time" - MIT
7 - Oh, no problem, I understand. I hate it when I start writing and it sounds like someone else's work....
Undergraduateekfoong - Dec 20, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 20, 2009
|Franklin W. Olin College of Engineering Essays. :)
4 - haha life of a procrastinator... tell me about it. I really do think the second one is great. Most...
Undergraduateekfoong - Dec 20, 2009 / sbrooks10 - Dec 20, 2009
|'The scent of chamomile' Amherst essay on kindness
7 - I'm so glad I could help! And don't worry, I have my own moments of pretentiousness too- I couldn't...
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 19, 2009 / Vulpix - Dec 20, 2009
|Who you are and how you could contribut to Boston University Admissions essay
6 - Your essay is great. Once again, the only thing I would recommend is revising the first/third person. I've been...
UndergraduateNickJ - Dec 12, 2009 / cpeel12 - Dec 20, 2009
|The Dream Addict-Boston University Supp.
3 - Determined, hard-working, leader, smart, innovative, sociable, reliable -- the perfect scholar. I recommend addng that dash in order...
Undergraduateseivert9 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Emmanuel "a person who has had a significant influence on you"-CommonApp
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 17, 2009 / loveyelledno - Dec 20, 2009
|turned to basketball to help clear my head, Penn State personal statement
3 - Never start with a statement of the obvious. It is better to skip it. Start like this: Throughout...
Undergraduatetimmy11803 - Nov 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|I've got my game face on, and I'm ready for the pitch--Mt. Holyoke Essay
10 - If asked what the most significant thing about me was, you would be hard pressed to hear me say...
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|common app feedback - a topic of your choice - i prefer choirs
3 - After this sentence, you should add one more before ending the first paragraph. Part of the experience you...
Undergraduatehwei91 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|"How music transformed me, my future".. Common application Essay
8 - Hi mmwatchusay, I notice that the feedback you give other people is not helpful at all!!Please put some more...
Undergraduatemmwhatchusay - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Personal Statement involving medicine
3 - No starting essays with statements of the obvious! That sentence is not powerful. Now here is a...
Undergraduatetchonis05 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Cornell AAP Supplement, why your chosen major?
4 - Until fairly recently, my answers to the frequently asked "What-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up" question were always inconsistent. ---> cut out unhelpful words....
Undergraduatethecirclegame - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|"to give back to the community and make friends" -Lehigh Supplement Short Answer
3 - I quickly became immersed in Lehigh's accomplishments, and how these accelerations in the engineering field can assist me with...
Undergraduatequiggyxpop15 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|I was one of the only two Asian-Americans in our academy, CommApp Personal Essay
2 - Use a comma after "school" in this compound sentence. In order to make this clearer, I suggest...
Undergraduateessayxkrasti - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|"How on earth did you get interested in opera?" Common app essay (option 4)
9 - I entertained the usual stereotypes; (after the semi-colon I added here, specify what stereotypes you are talking about. You...
UndergraduateAemilia - Aug 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Medicine + Piece of Advice - Brown Supplement Essays
3 - I recommend six instead of 6, but more importantly, my first words were doctor is wrong. One of...
UndergraduateDemolitionX - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|Determined; Passionate; Open-minded - boston: three word that describe you best
Undergraduateginny2345 - Dec 20, 2009 / lowcal - Dec 20, 2009
|"Daunting, isn't it?", significant experience and its impact on you..
UndergraduateChelBelle - Dec 6, 2009 / ChelBelle - Dec 20, 2009
|Best piece of advice: "never, never, never give up" (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Undergraduatesmileypeace10 - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|An Intellectual Experience:Stanford Short Essay
8 - Add an apostrophe to nature's!! seven year-old mind The perpetual hysteria it stirred within me accrued...
Undergraduateore4thebetter - Dec 17, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 20, 2009
|In my free time, I trawl the net, looking for physics problems.
6 - I agree with Nick, as great as Feynman's quotes are, this one is just too edgy. Not to mention...
Undergraduatefeynmanfan - Dec 12, 2009 / AbhijeetS - Dec 20, 2009
|Supplement Essay Emory Univ. knowledge and expertise
5 - *** Okay here is my revision. I added a bunch of other stuff to it. Unfortunately I definitely went...
Undergraduateadanne1990 - Dec 19, 2009 / adanne1990 - Dec 20, 2009
|My love for music....Stanford Short essay 2
Undergraduateore4thebetter - Dec 18, 2009 / ore4thebetter - Dec 20, 2009
|Chubby Charm - MY COMMON APP ESSAY
UndergraduateScheherazade19 - Nov 28, 2009 / Logical_Fella_C - Dec 20, 2009
|The day that I would become the New York City champion in the 1000-meter race. Common app essay
10 - i agree with jael...i think that u should change your sentence structures. u say so many things in one...
Undergraduatepapulin23 - Dec 3, 2009 / gemma2345 - Dec 20, 2009
|Of all the activities, in our outside of school, soccer holds the most meaning to me
9 - first of all ,I think that this essay wont be accepted since it is more than 150 words.Even I...
Undergraduatedannyfwk - Dec 8, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 20, 2009
|Notre Dame Supplement Essay--Make a difference
Undergraduatepeterhanprc - Dec 19, 2009 / peterhanprc - Dec 20, 2009
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