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|Cornell Supplement essay - College of Agriculture & Life Sciences; Animal Sci
2 - I noticed you've been helping others here with their essays, thank you! My passion for all things equine...
UndergraduateIvy_Equestrian - Dec 23, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 25, 2009
|Cornell Arts&Sciences Supplement - cultural studies and social work
3 - Yes, thank you sadhvi010!! Your comments DEFINITELY helped a lot. Cutting down a few words here and there also...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 24, 2009 / swuvvy - Dec 25, 2009
|University of Pennsylvania Academic/Social Communities Essay-Supplementary
8 - I changed my essay up a little bit. If anyone could check for grammar it would be great (commas,...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 20, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 24, 2009
|Misconceptions: the best way to fight them is to prevent them from being formed in the first place.
6 - Well, the essay is not really about misconceptions. Your point about misconceptions will be most impressive if you...
Undergraduatemmmargarita - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Why Chicago? Supplement - how does UChic satisfy desire for learning =)
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Pratt Personal Statement - Design
3 - This is an essay that seems like it could be improved by switching the first and last paragraphs. Try...
Undergraduatelaurel_ltt - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|'hurdles at their full race height' - Common Application - Short Answer - Hurdling
5 - I like the essay, and think it does a good job considering the subject matter. The only think I'd...
Undergraduatemrwonderr - Dec 24, 2009 / pmurray62 - Dec 24, 2009
|A Personal Dream: Yale Supplemental
2 - I thought a Tower of Babel was a bad thing. Before the tower of babel, everyone spoke the same...
Undergraduatejwrc5 - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|Pomona Essay prompt: fun extracurricular event
4 - Okay thanks for the advice I will try to change the first paragraph. Although I'm not that great...
Undergraduateleslery - Dec 24, 2009 / leslery - Dec 24, 2009
|trivial video game - Pomona supplement-What I do for fun
4 - Ohhhh hahah ok thank you! Is my essay long enough though? Should I include more about myself?...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|Cornell College of Human Ecology Supplement--
4 - Yes, it is tough to give the 2 different responses and still have one memorable "main idea" that will...
Undergraduatesbdaiquiri - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App: Evaluate a significant experience -getting lost in an airport
3 - As we made our farewells to the city and walked into the San Francisco Airport, I reluctantly thought (choose...
Undergraduatemissioncontrol - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|My name and it's influences on me: COMMON APP ESSAY:
5 - Though your original is gone, this revision appears to be almost identical, so my earlier comments stand. Sorry I...
Undergraduatejuesewang - Dec 21, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 24, 2009
|Challenging,stimulating,or provocative boook - Michigan essay help
Undergraduatecser315465327 - Dec 23, 2009 / cser315465327 - Dec 24, 2009
|UVA Engineering Prompt-
4 - I also agree, u need to write about UVA's engineering program. But I can see the effort u put...
Undergraduatetimtebow - Dec 24, 2009 / Nasir2009 - Dec 24, 2009
|Doodling Over Calculus- Emerson Essay
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Dec 21, 2009 / caisson22 - Dec 24, 2009
|"'curious and open' - Why Emory
Undergraduategeo20040334 - Dec 24, 2009 / geo20040334 - Dec 24, 2009
|Cornell Supplemeent - Intellectual Interests at College of Arts and Sciece =)
4 - I actually got rid of that in general haha...it suited better for another essay and if I included that...
Undergraduatetimeturner36 - Dec 21, 2009 / timeturner36 - Dec 24, 2009
|Lehigh Supplement Question- Why Lehigh? and Define Equity and Community?
7 - Furthermore the passion and devotion that one has for their community will in turn make said community stronger. --->...
Undergraduatechristmastree - Dec 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|"independent person"- family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
3 - My family's culture has given me the confidence to overcome every obstacle that has been presented to me. ---->...
Undergraduateejiro - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|"Stronger" - Name an influential person: My Father (Common app essay)
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 21, 2009 / daisyx3 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App Short Essay- My experience in FIRST Robotics!
Undergraduatezain12qa - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Maybe the Christians are right. Or the Muslims. Or the Buddhists. - Stanford
9 - ok thank you...
Undergraduatewhitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|My New "Job" / Odyssey of the Mind - Being A Big Sister, common apps essay (own topic)
5 - thanks so much for your feedback :D i had been editting them in the mean time and trying very...
Undergraduateamyhr0311 - Dec 22, 2009 / amyhr0311 - Dec 24, 2009
|Williams "Looking through a window" Essay
3 - The essay would read more interestingly if you have dialogue that would be between you and your friend about...
UndergraduateEkooo - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Stanford-Tutoring the Tudors-Intellectual Vitality
UndergraduateNeoGeo - Dec 24, 2009 / whitepolarbear - Dec 24, 2009
|Williams essay; looking through a window at a significant environment
7 - I think elaboration would be helpful. It would make second to third paragraph transition more smooth if there was...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 24, 2009 / Ekooo - Dec 24, 2009
|INSPIRE & SURE - Emory Univeristy Supplemental
7 - Instead of stating that it is one of the best research universities you should comment on one of Emory's...
UndergraduateTictac8 - Dec 22, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|Brown Supplement - how a book influenced you (le petit prince)
3 - It's a great essay! :D I only have one suggestion, the most part of your essay is talking about...
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 23, 2009 / gumdrop41 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common app short answer; teaching assistant
2 - Interesting read that is interesting to read. Add more specific events, don't talk about things such as the main...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 24, 2009 / zain12qa - Dec 24, 2009
|"Growing up and the medical field" - UIC GPPA essay
2 - But work on rewording this essay, it could be written in more, eloquent language. I'd also say that emphasize...
Undergraduateumrily181 - Dec 24, 2009 / Juniper_Jumper - Dec 24, 2009
|Listening or Speaking? - Common App essay
8 - Thanks for all the inputs guys...please feel free to add more. And for those who told me that my...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 22, 2009 / pbhat - Dec 24, 2009
|I am planning to study development sociology and try also to do apply economics and management
3 - Faisal P, hey I corrected som grammatical mistakes I had, I dont know ir there is anymore and if...
Undergraduatenik12 - Dec 21, 2009 / nik12 - Dec 24, 2009
|Am I Doing this Right? Additional Information Essay to Harvard College.
6 - Hah, an entire essay about a fart in an elevator. Its actually really good. It reminds me of the...
UndergraduateDevataa - Dec 24, 2009 / AbhijeetS - Dec 24, 2009
|Personal Statement for commonapp - A lesson
3 - wow I couldnt help feeling touched by your essay! the last paragraph was empowering and you showed your resolve...
Undergraduatejelly - Dec 23, 2009 / amyhr0311 - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App short answer about theatre
5 - Wow! SO muchhh bettterrrr! =) The only thing now that caught my attention was "Actors must become their...
Undergraduateinsomnia - Dec 23, 2009 / RabiaG - Dec 24, 2009
|Cornell(College of Arts and Science)-Your intellectual interest.
UndergraduateHarmonSa - Dec 16, 2009 / batmankiller - Dec 24, 2009
|"elaborate on one of your activities" - UVA short answer
12 - The third person seems odd, I also suggest first person. Any strong example will prove valuable to the essay....
Undergraduateerinhcho - Dec 18, 2009 / molecule - Dec 24, 2009
|NCSSM admissons essay: adversity
Undergraduatekatielady108 - Dec 20, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|Princeton-write about a person you admire & how they have influenced your life
4 - "Because of the book, I have kept the desire to become a cardiologist close to my heart regardless of...
Undergraduateace - Dec 23, 2009 / Devataa - Dec 24, 2009
|Common App Essay: Carl Sagan
UndergraduateMpx - Dec 23, 2009 / nc08dkia - Dec 24, 2009
|University of Rochester supplement. Short Answer, Individuality and independence
Undergraduatekda013 - Dec 23, 2009 / kda013 - Dec 24, 2009
|"my Japanese classes" - Why Swarthmore Essay
Undergraduateswuvvy - Dec 23, 2009 / swuvvy - Dec 24, 2009
|Macalester College - WHY MACALESTER?! Why do you believe it may be a good match
2 - I have always wanted to study in the States, as I had lived there for a significant fraction of...
Undergraduatekrazzikittie - Dec 23, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|"being a trilingual Egyptian and Palestinian" - Michigan diversity essay
Undergraduateraezzat - Dec 23, 2009 / raezzat - Dec 24, 2009
|A Quantum Amateur-MIT World Essay
2 - Most kind kindest You have not really written about him here. You said he influenced you, but then...
UndergraduateNeoGeo - Dec 22, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 24, 2009
|World beyond my village; "Memorable experience in high school"
4 - Remove "all" and insert a comma: ".. around the village, obstructing..." Otherwise it sounds as if the...
Undergraduatesupten - Dec 24, 2009 / goldeneye98 - Dec 24, 2009
|Confused about John Nash, Barnard Short Answer
4 - thats why i became confused. i based my response off of the character i saw from the movie not...
Undergraduatejuliasharp - Dec 24, 2009 / juliasharp - Dec 24, 2009
|"My second family" - Northwestern Supplement Essay
Undergraduateahc0212 - Dec 20, 2009 / ahc0212 - Dec 24, 2009
|Violin Concerto, Jade -questions for University essays for University of Virgina
3 - Thank you for your quick reply! Your point is really good! But I am kind of struggling with my...
Undergraduatezhuzhe53 - Dec 24, 2009 / zhuzhe53 - Dec 24, 2009
|regional Science Olympiad - "How Did You Get Caught?" Essay
4 - Hey, answering your posted question: So, I believe that this essay focuses greatly upon personal ambitions (sorry if the...
Undergraduatefahdh2 - Dec 15, 2009 / ganadara000 - Dec 24, 2009
|Stanford Supplement Suggestions: Describe something intellecutally stimulating
6 - You should elaborate more on how this influenced you. I feel like I'm reading an explanation. It's a good...
Undergraduatejwrc5 - Dec 23, 2009 / gynn92 - Dec 24, 2009
|to study journalism - Northwestern Supplement
7 - Hi! Your introduction needs some work. Many people start their intro like that. You wrote how NU will help...
Undergraduatekimmi - Dec 23, 2009 / gynn92 - Dec 23, 2009
|Common app essay, free topic "The Beauty of Translation"
10 - Lyolya, thank you for reading my essay over 3 times!! :) Your comments really helped. Harshil, thank you...
Undergraduatesportybluei - Dec 21, 2009 / sportybluei - Dec 23, 2009
|Cornell Arts and Sciences- History Major
3 - I liked your essay. You described your evolution pretty well. The essay isn't boring. It kept me entertained. I...
Undergraduatepbhat - Dec 23, 2009 / gynn92 - Dec 23, 2009
|Essay on making observations -Common app essay (just looking for a quick review)
4 - THANKS a bunches fellow applicants. i revised my essay quickly based on what you said and this is my...
Undergraduatejabbsdht - Dec 22, 2009 / jabbsdht - Dec 23, 2009
|Personal Issue - The Language English
Undergraduateyaasha275 - Dec 22, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 23, 2009
|"a passion for accounting" - UCONN - Transfer Essay
4 - Please check out the TOS about having your posts deleted essayforum.com/disclaimer-privacy-tos/. I have started several internet based websites...
Undergraduatebstastny - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
|"Are you ready to learn?" - Common App Personal Essay?
12 - Oh my gosh, my mother would LOVE for me to have the same plans as you...she keeps hinting about...
Undergraduatedizzydaydreams - Dec 23, 2009 / Ivy_Equestrian - Dec 23, 2009
|Neurosurgery Issue of National Concern- Harvard and Yale Commonapp essay
3 - This essay is so powerful and appropriate, you did a great job with it. Eric noticed some important things,...
Undergraduateneuro - Dec 21, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 23, 2009
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