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|I've got my game face on, and I'm ready for the pitch--Mt. Holyoke Essay
Undergraduatecaisson22 - Dec 13, 2009 / meisj0n - Dec 17, 2009
|Question about Umich's Diversity.. Modern Art
10 - I always grunted disdainfully at modern art. It was not objective, like fields I was accustomed to, such as...
Undergraduatebatmankiller - Nov 3, 2009 / batmankiller - Dec 17, 2009
|Why biomedical engineer? Why Johns Hopkins?
8 - I'm sorry I don't have to time to give more detailed comments, but I would suggest that you vary...
Undergraduatefearless9 - Dec 13, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 17, 2009
|Art Institute of Charleston
Undergraduateartist737 - Dec 16, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 17, 2009
|Extra-curricular essays for UVA
UndergraduatePrincess Daisy - Dec 14, 2009 / Princess Daisy - Dec 17, 2009
|Princeton Supplemental Essay: Transforming Stones into Diamonds
8 - This essay has a great start... way to hypnotize the reader! In your final draft, you should probably use...
Undergraduatehiddenoasis - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|Personal Essay- Carmen, a person of significant influence
Undergraduatethecirclegame - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|"My parent's divorce" - UCF prompt
5 - ...been living with my mother in a single-parent household ever since . There was no alimony or child support,...
Undergraduatelilminkzmayb - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|Essay about myself for Georgetown-feedback
7 - Awesome, this is good stuff. Here is my challenge for you: Can you take that excellent first paragraph and...
Undergraduateniblickz - Dec 12, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|Rice University, Supplement, cradle of its field
Undergraduategsnwp - Nov 27, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|My grandfather --a person or event that has had a profound effect upon your life
2 - So, be careful of those unnecessary capital letters: After Spending spending a lot of time with such an...
Undergraduaterowen_4 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 17, 2009
|"I am clean, but not tidy" - Stanford roomate essay
6 - Hello, First of all, I like your essay. It surely is concise and deliver clear thoughts. I agree...
Undergraduatethephoebster - Dec 13, 2009 / Hadiqa - Dec 17, 2009
|How did you get caught long version
2 - it seems that I failed to adress the topic appropriately, because I did not clearly understand meaning of the...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Dec 15, 2009 / birzhanfm - Dec 16, 2009
|'Education and student ratio' - Lehigh supplement question-why Lehigh
2 - i don't think it delivers your strong desire to go to Leigh. maybe some more specific programs in Leigh...
Undergraduatebhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009 / Christie - Dec 16, 2009
|Challenge in my life- short paragraphs
4 - i think it would be more personal...i think...not sure about anything right now, especially concerning a MIT prompt :(...
Undergraduatecollegebound1 - Dec 16, 2009 / yang - Dec 16, 2009
|Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences Supplement-- What Should I Fix?
3 - Good job! I really liked this essay...it's both concise and interesting. "The power of words"- nothing wrong with...
Undergraduatekskclub01 - Dec 16, 2009 / shannon92 - Dec 16, 2009
|UT@Austin Topic A: my sister, Helen
UndergraduateHerb_107 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|JHU supplement.. needs some fine tuning
3 - It sounds like you want to pursue international studies because you enjoyed traveling. I wonder if there is...
Undergraduatesneha17 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Columbia University & Yale University (Admissions essays)
4 - I like this essay the best, and prticularly this insight. It is a unique perspective, and I think...
Undergraduategladwise13 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Writing an essay on a diverse experience?
7 - I think you're right. Actually, one of my teachers said the very same thing. Thanks again! :)...
Undergraduatealejbatista - Dec 9, 2009 / alejbatista - Dec 16, 2009
|Common Application essay + short answer: [ a spelling bee and artistry.]
UndergraduateKatsch - Dec 12, 2009 / Katsch - Dec 16, 2009
|MIT spare time essay and appealing major
5 - My father inspired me to read newspaper daily, and today I have switched to the use of online news...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|'It seems pretty simple' - Vires, artes, mores - Florida State Admissions
3 - i think it's a little too simple. you should have more eye catching characteristics and more details good...
Undergraduatepackersrule522 - Dec 15, 2009 / collegebound1 - Dec 16, 2009
|UCF "How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are"
UndergraduatePatelJ - Dec 14, 2009 / collegebound1 - Dec 16, 2009
|Common Application Long Answer : Changes - Operation Smile Vietnam
Undergraduatenagaking - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Global energy crisis affecting my generation- UT Austin Prompt B
3 - No, it was thrust upon us by a previous epoch, as industrialization took stride, efficiency and innovation becoming top...
Undergraduatedavid2010 - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|Symphony - Williams Admission Essay
3 - ...same fondness that I afford a well-executed performance-with pride and knowledge that I have done that best that I...
Undergraduatekoldingi - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Temple essay - about me in 10 years from now; career in pharmacy
5 - As I reflect upon my personal and professional life, I can proudly tell you that my resume is filled...
UndergraduateEGLC - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|BROWN- my dream university; 'My interest in the international community'
7 - In the summer after grade 11, I interned During an internship at Aditya Sondhi Law Chambers, Bangalore, through which...
UndergraduateIntlIndian - Dec 10, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|My Personal Statement for University entry to study Accounting.
3 - Add a comma: I have always had this passion for business and calculation, and that... Life is always...
Undergraduateobistaiwo - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|George Washington U. professional, communicative politician
Undergraduatephhusm2000 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|An Accident - Yale supplement, is effective to convey a sense of adventure?
4 - Okay, you are leading my attention all over the place. You begin talking about an injury, and then...
UndergraduateEddy92 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Bowdoin College Supplement Essay-How have you prepared for Bowdoin?
Undergraduatexugx29 - Dec 8, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Common application (my IT skills)
5 - During summer 2008 I have developed a hotels administration system. Later that year I had already sold ten copies...
Undergraduategkuizinas - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Tutoring Spanish students - Why Northwestern University Transfer Essay?
2 - All this material, starting with the moment of your birth, is a very roundabout way of getting to...
UndergraduateJholton247 - Dec 14, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern (opportunities and Nobel prize-winning professors)
2 - The whole first paragraph is so general that it could be said of almost any school. I recommend starting...
UndergraduateNatalie391 - Nov 19, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|[Princeton] My conquered walls
4 - "Trial and error" is an expression to refer to a haphazard way of figuring something out. It does...
Undergraduateseongwoomama3 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|dance programs in private studios, Macaulay Essay
Undergraduatemr_turtle - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|UC Prompt #2: My Future as a Comedian
Undergraduatenikhurs - Nov 29, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Acting and being onstage, Williams Prompt... any suggestions?
3 - You mentioned the butterflies twice, and it is probably better to only mention them once. Also, tis prompt...
Undergraduateburntaquaflame - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|How has a piece of art changed your life/evaluate a significant risk
2 - Years went by before I encountered my first taste of art education in elementary school, where the assignments... ...
Undergraduateconquistadori - Dec 15, 2009 / EF_Susan - Dec 16, 2009
|"A book that changed the way you see the world" - Les Misérables Macaulay Honors
UndergraduatePetitPicpus - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|'Math, constructing and designing models' - Lafayette Supplement Essay Help
7 - Though this essay clearly convey your interest and your strength, I think you need to reorganize your essay since...
Undergraduatelycjack - Nov 7, 2009 / yf8651 - Dec 16, 2009
|Cornell University (College of Arts and Sciences Supplement)
3 - I'm excited about your future in politics! I noticed in another of your essays that you write very well,...
Undergraduateedgardz21 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Macaulay Honors Essay- Local/National/International Concern
5 - You have a sentence fragment above: not to be confused... is an incomplete sentence. You seem to be...
UndergraduateDmarte92 - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|NYU Supplement Personal Statements -- Looking for Constructive Criticism!
Undergraduateloveyelledno - Dec 13, 2009 / EF_Kevin - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Northwestern-Why do you want to attend this university?
NEW - Hello, guys! please help me proofread this essay. Any comment and critique is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance! ...
Undergraduateyf8651 - Dec 16, 2009 / — -
|volunteer job at Almaty stuttering foundation, Commonapp short essay
2 - Grammatical errors: "During the financial crisis the foundation..." ".. started a new fund raising campaign." "everyone contributed a lot...
Undergraduatebirzhanfm - Dec 16, 2009 / trosky2000 - Dec 16, 2009
|Lehigh Supplement Essay. Critique and give me a helping hand.
3 - It's a well written essay since you have put your personal life in it as well.But according to me,you...
Undergraduatebaboozled - Nov 29, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|Why Lehigh University + Equity and Community - Supplement
6 - Even I m writing this essay.You should probably research more and include atleast two specific communities of the University...
Undergraduatejsdginger - Dec 10, 2009 / bhan_msm - Dec 16, 2009
|"Farewell to My Concubine" - Experience: Leave the Comfort Zone
7 - I really liked this essay :-) It's humorous, self-deprecating and yet positive and upbeat. There are a few grammatical...
Undergraduateayida365 - Dec 13, 2009 / Moonshadow0302 - Dec 16, 2009
|The most unhappy day in my life ("my father was in bed for ever")
5 - Thank you Kim Creawell, you are probably teacher, aren't you? I feel your ideal is authentic! One more...
Undergraduateautumnwave - Dec 9, 2009 / autumnwave - Dec 16, 2009
|undergraduate course at SVA, Writing Statement of intent!
Undergraduatefourplustwo - Dec 14, 2009 / fourplustwo - Dec 16, 2009
|About gratitude I have learned (common application main essay)
8 - Thanks for mention that, Katie. I am still working on other awkward sentences. I will read your essay....
Undergraduatethcays - Dec 13, 2009 / thcays - Dec 16, 2009
|Eating roti canai - common application long answer
3 - Thank you so much Jeannie!!! I really appreciate the help!! I totally agree with you about the tenses. I'll...
Undergraduatebluemenon - Dec 14, 2009 / bluemenon - Dec 16, 2009
|"my love for psychology" - Is my essay too objective?
Undergraduatekeilinger - Dec 6, 2009 / keilinger - Dec 15, 2009
|'tremendous opportunities' - Brown: Interest and Appeal to Brown
3 - that creates an infatuation...Hmmm, I think you can do better with this description. Being infatuated with a...
Undergraduateallathlete5 - Dec 14, 2009 / Jeannie - Dec 15, 2009
|'I have three very close friends'; an ethical dilemma that challenged you.
Undergraduatehern255 - Dec 9, 2009 / hern255 - Dec 15, 2009
|'I successfully founded an electronics club' - MIT creativity essay
4 - My interest in sciences (which ones? chem? physics?) when I was in boarding school. try to make this...
Undergraduatemrgzg1 - Dec 14, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
|Studying in Poland and being caught by the emigration to the U.S.A. University of Chicago essay.
Undergraduaterafaltrus - Dec 13, 2009 / yang - Dec 15, 2009
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