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|Common App Essay - "You're pretty, for a fat girl."
4 - Destinee, it's good that you call this essay a rough draft, this essay needs absolutely a lot of help....
Undergraduatedesi__d - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|Personal Essay for Film Major Supplemental Application
3 - Lynn, I believe your essay can be revised to make is stronger, the interest and willingness to study and...
Undergraduatethilvnn - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|I am incredibly proud of my AP scores - UC Personal Statement [Freshman] Prompt #2
Undergraduatewonderland562 - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|"aha!" moment - Intended Major: Biology - UC Transfer Prompt 1
UndergraduateWombatWill - Nov 26, 2015 / andyis - Nov 28, 2015
|Bad Spaghetti - Stanford Supplement (Intellectual Vitality)
5 - Thank you for the critique all. I did post this before but then removed it after deciding I wouldn't...
Undergraduatebamabhai - Nov 28, 2015 / bamabhai - Nov 28, 2015
|My "best" friend - panic disorder. UC Personal Statement
7 - Hi Rachel, sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I wanted to make sure that the revision...
Undergraduatecodbfl12 - Nov 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 28, 2015
|PROUD TO OVERCOME AND BE ME UC TRANSFER PERSONAL STATEMENT
2 - Phoebe, your story is one that will definitely shock the reviewer. If he ever gets to the part about...
Undergraduatepeepsielu - Nov 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 28, 2015
|UC Personal Statement! Prompt 1- Me as an unique cultural mixture Prompt 2- What I learned in Mexico
4 - Hi Ko, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay, first essay first. Describe the world you...
Undergraduaterh346 - Nov 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|Computers and Me - computer science, mathematics, programming languages, the Linux terminal - for UC
Undergraduatewonderland562 - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|I thought she was DEAD - [UC Prompt 2]
14 - Thank you so much vangiespen! Your insight and constructive criticism was really pivotal to me writing this essay the...
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Nov 22, 2015 / halokenisis - Nov 27, 2015
|GPPA Program: Why direct to medical school?
Undergraduatechotu9 - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|My grandma and a coup of chicken soup - UC prompt 1
Undergraduatevs321 - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|The sky is the limit? No, it's just the beginning! University of Illinois Undergraduate Admission
4 - I think you have answered the question well, however I think the conclusion should be more written about your...
UndergraduateSriramK - Nov 27, 2015 / codbfl12 - Nov 27, 2015
|'You can't create experiences, experiences create you' - Washington Univ. undergraduate application
3 - Let me give you some feedback. As far as I concern to your personal statement, It is impressive experience....
UndergraduateFreakingtall - Nov 27, 2015 / Nofrinorman - Nov 27, 2015
|It took me a lot of years to realize that the person influencing me the most was my father. Intro.
5 - Hi..Joshua.. Here are some general pointers you can follow to write the best introduction letter the world has...
Undergraduatejoshuapradhan - Nov 24, 2015 / hasbi - Nov 27, 2015
|Studying abroad had enabled my to take in and learn about new cultures - Topic A) answer
Undergraduatecote - Nov 26, 2015 / anggicaroot - Nov 27, 2015
|Interest in Computer Science - UIUC Undergrad Essay
8 - Hi Fahad, I edited the content of your essay online just so it would become more streamlined, offer more...
Undergraduatefshaikh - Nov 23, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 26, 2015
|My lifetime goal is to go a good school and secure my future so I can help my parents and family
4 - hi, after I read your essay, it is really impressive. But, you need to rearrange your firts paragrph or...
UndergraduateGabbyCano - Nov 26, 2015 / hasdymath - Nov 26, 2015
|My fencing world teaches me to work diligently on things that I am passionate about - UC prompt 1
Undergraduateabc81012 - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 26, 2015
|Saving "My World" & Piano Plateaus - UC Personal Statement (Freshman applicant)
5 - Ivana, I'm back for the second prompt, it's good that you were able to maintain that fascinating way of...
Undergraduateivyzhou - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 26, 2015
|How does USD stand out among all of the other colleges to which you are applying? San Diego Uni.
4 - Daniel, your response to the prompt is too cut and dried. There is no personal connection nor true interest...
Undergraduatedaniel_garcia55 - Nov 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 26, 2015
|Dartmouth College Supplement Essay- Link Crew Leadership
2 - Zhang, this Link Crew experience is something that will definitely help you with your college application. It is an...
UndergraduateJackZhang898 - Nov 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 26, 2015
|I had the opportunity to experience Latin American culture - University of Washington short response
4 - Julian, you need to rethink your approach to the prompt. You need to revise your opening statement to reflect...
Undergraduatejskar - Nov 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 26, 2015
|Track and Field is now an important routine in my day - The University of Washington essay
5 - Sara, I'd like to share my insights on your essay, you seem to have a following already and I...
Undergraduatesakimminji1004 - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 25, 2015
|The moment I opened up myself. -overcoming autism-
5 - Shuto, I definitely believe that the essay that you wrote would fit the background story more than the original...
Undergraduateshuto - Nov 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 25, 2015
|My contributions to CU-Boulder's 2030 Plan
6 - Hi, Here is my rewrite. I have tried to make it talk more directly about how the moves enriched...
Undergraduatekunaal - Nov 23, 2015 / kunaal - Nov 25, 2015
|Dance Relationship - intended major; 1st UC prompt
Undergraduatekkatagi - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 25, 2015
|Wilsonville - for me it's all the world I've ever known
Undergraduatesakimminji1004 - Nov 24, 2015 / sakimminji1004 - Nov 25, 2015
|USC APPLICATION (I don't really have an idea of what I specifically want to pursue)
3 - Madison, as an undeclared major student, you should consider making an impact in your statement sans identifying your actual...
Undergraduatemalabami - Nov 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 25, 2015
|Habit of Eating Local Food Shaped My Attitude Towards Life - Prompt 1 Common App
13 - Hi Louisa, Thanks for the great output you provided. I've decided to heavily rewrite the first essay, but...
UndergraduateJJREDICK - Oct 23, 2015 / JJREDICK - Nov 25, 2015
|"Wow, I can't wait to be a grown up" Transfer Essay... transition from childhood to adulthood
2 - Gabrielle, I am afraid that your "transition" story does not really reflect the kind of attitude and abilities that...
Undergraduategabriellen - Nov 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 25, 2015
|All my life, I was compared to my brother. (Personal Statement) - Is it good enough? Do I need more?
2 - I touched when i read your essay. Maybe that is the first impression of people when they read you...
Undergraduatergamboa - Nov 25, 2015 / Bayuwibowo - Nov 25, 2015
|Spitting as a way of sending message to "The Thing" - UC #2 personal statement
Undergraduateeegii0123 - Nov 24, 2015 / anggicaroot - Nov 25, 2015
|UC Prompts: Prompt #1- My Experience in the Coffin & Prompt #2- Perfect Moment
NEW - I would really appreciate if this could be reviewed before tomorrow since I am leaving town tomorrow and would...
Undergraduatesienna89 - Nov 24, 2015 / — -
|UIUC PROMPT-describe an incident that lead to your love for your major (COMPUTER PROGRAMMING)
3 - - Nevertheless,M uch to my aversion, - words I hadn'thaven't had the faintest idea of. - and thus forming...
UndergraduateMITHALI - Nov 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 24, 2015
|Essay of UIUC : From a film editor to a computer scientist.
5 - Thanks a lot, but could you be more specific on the "academic side" you mention? Do you mean my...
UndergraduateEdward Feng - Nov 22, 2015 / Edward Feng - Nov 24, 2015
|Chemical engineering, my aim and my passion - SOP for undergraduate degree
3 - Abhay, I agree that what you have does not really correspond it's purpose. You definitely need to write a...
Undergraduateabhaykhattar - Nov 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 24, 2015
|Growing up, I was raised in a conservative home and was sheltered for much of my early life. Texas
4 - Chad, your essay is way too long. As a reviewer, I found myself wondering as to when you would...
Undergraduatechaddonohoe - Nov 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 24, 2015
|'to break through, no matter what' - Me vs Me - Lessons from failure
4 - Kunaal, I believe your essay is written well, it depicts the struggle, I would not call it a failure...
Undergraduatekunaal - Nov 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 24, 2015
|UIUC Transfer - Life is a like a game of cards
4 - Hi Malik, Let me give you some comments.. In my opinion your style how you answer the questions...
Undergraduatepretzelbun - Nov 23, 2015 / fahmisadja - Nov 23, 2015
|Loving museums. I want to pursue a career in Museum Studies - Common App Personal Essay
9 - hai.. let me give you some advice For me your essay it's good telling your story, but please read...
Undergraduateauapeterson - Nov 15, 2015 / anggicaroot - Nov 23, 2015
|New Education, New chance. UC Prompt #1
4 - Caroline I would like to share that however your essay is written well, it doesn't help that you don't...
Undergraduatekarenhwu - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|College Essay: Painting a Pot to Perfection
3 - JP, I'd like to share my insights on your essay and hopefully shorten the essay to abide by the...
Undergraduatedesigirl16 - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|I want to study the Earth and learn how it can help us in the future through its gifts - Texas essay
UndergraduatePetrichor - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|USC undergraduate admissions - business, with a focus on finance and entrepreneurship
Undergraduatechaddonohoe - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|'everything gets better with time' - moving from Mexico to the U.S. - UT Austin Topic A
4 - Juan, I'd like to address the needed corrections on your essay. - However, I however didn't react that...
Undergraduatejdsada98 - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|Life map--common application essay-background story-help with my structure and details
4 - where we could not evenfind a path to place our feet . You might be translating literally from another...
UndergraduateExitmusic - Nov 16, 2015 / kunaal - Nov 23, 2015
|"Closed Doors" personal statement: describe an obstacle in life that you solved or want to solve
5 - Basil, my thought on your essay is that, it is written well, there's no doubt on that, you have...
UndergraduateBigbasel - Nov 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 23, 2015
|Attracted to mathematics - U Michigan essay emergency (need more words)
4 - hello james, you have to be careful with your comment for the next step. Do not give a simple...
UndergraduateJames123 - Oct 27, 2015 / irfan727 - Nov 23, 2015
|USC Undergraduate Admissions Supplement Essay- Major: Applied Mathematics, Intended Minor: History
5 - hi JackZhang898, let me help you out regarding your essay. After reading it, I have met two mistakes. ...
UndergraduateJackZhang898 - Nov 17, 2015 / hasdymath - Nov 23, 2015
|My time in debate has made me more aware and tolerant of other people's views - ApplyTexas Topic A
Undergraduatemaggienowlin - Nov 22, 2015 / irhame - Nov 23, 2015
|NYU Tisch School of the Arts - Review "How We Define Creative Entrepreneur"
Undergraduatedrzyszn - Oct 7, 2015 / irfan727 - Nov 23, 2015
|'calculating definite integrals' - Rhetorical Analysis in a STEM World; [UC Prompt 1]
3 - Hey Robby, this is really a unique essay. You did not go for the normal and expected route when...
Undergraduatesnobbyrobby831 - Nov 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 23, 2015
|UC Prompt #1: Your World (thirty eight) - I've grown to become a programming "nerd"
7 - Joe, the essay is an easy read but it doesn't really reflect the kind of response that would touch...
Undergraduatesukhtheduke1 - Nov 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 23, 2015
|Through this experience I have learned that I am stronger than I would have ever deemed myself to be
4 - Madison, I know that you are practicing or preparing a response to a college application prompt. While I can...
Undergraduatemadisonmalaga1 - Nov 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 22, 2015
|If you had the opportunity to establish a club at the university what would it be and why ?
4 - Basil, I agree that the club you would like to establish in the university is something that interests the...
UndergraduateBigbasel - Nov 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 22, 2015
|I need to enjoy my time being alone won't help. I changed my old view about the people.
4 - Fwaz, I believe your essay is quiet weak and does not really correspond to the prompt, what you did...
UndergraduateFoz - Nov 18, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 22, 2015
|College Essay for Ringling! Unsure of what I have is good enough or not.
5 - hello lilly, let me try to give some recommendations on your passage A scenic Japanese film that inspired...
UndergraduateXiewin - Nov 12, 2015 / irfan727 - Nov 22, 2015
|'From coding programs in BASIC to playing football': persistence and hard work is the key to success
4 - Hardik, your essay actually presents a very good premise for the obstacle that you faced and no, I am...
Undergraduategreenlantern - Nov 20, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 22, 2015
|My perception of Buddhism and how it has changed - Apply Texas Topic A
4 - Thanks everyone for the compliments and criticisms! I'll keep everything in mind when editing the essay. If anyone else...
Undergraduateavishkas - Nov 20, 2015 / avishkas - Nov 21, 2015
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