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|The University of San Diego fulfills my 'college wishlist' completely.
3 - SBC, the first question I will ask you is, what is the word count related to this prompt? The...
Undergraduatesbc6 - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 2, 2015
|'my mom discuss her experiences at the LSA School' - U of M, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO HERE ESSAY
2 - Katie, I think that there is a discrepancy in your essay. You cannot claim to be unsure of your...
Undergraduatemia89 - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 2, 2015
|When we die... - NYU Tisch Supplemental Essay
2 - Life is peculiar. As such, we makecreatesome disasters but it gain blessings from them. For once in my life,...
Undergraduatequinnoconnell - Oct 30, 2015 / irhame - Nov 2, 2015
|'Grades can influence many things.' - Columbia early admission Common App essay
Undergraduatehelp_me_123 - Nov 1, 2015 / Hanan125 - Nov 2, 2015
|Essay for UIUC: Explain your interest in the major you selected.
7 - Thank you, Ms. Louisa. My application has been submitted successfully. The polish based on you advice is really helpful....
Undergraduatexanthorapedia - Oct 28, 2015 / xanthorapedia - Nov 1, 2015
|How I discovered my Korean-American identity through my experiences outdoors - COMMON APP ESSAY
2 - Lauren, you wrote a very insightful essay that has clearly depicted a unique background for yourself. It was excellent...
Undergraduatelololaurenn - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|I dont need force to keep moving - extra-curricular activities
6 - Devin, change the perspective of the whole essay and you will be more prompt compliant. Don't get imaginative with...
Undergraduatebuddythebear - Oct 11, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|Life Anime; chemistry teacher as a goal - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
UndergraduateLilBuddha - Oct 31, 2015 / LilBuddha - Nov 1, 2015
|"Why Marquette" - Marquette Essay - A diverse community that strives for academic excellence.
2 - Hi andrea, what you want to tell us in the first paragraph? because, honestly i have no idea about...
UndergraduateAndreaV - Oct 30, 2015 / Clark Kent - Nov 1, 2015
|Attitude Change: when opportunities arise, don't wait until it's too late - ED Princeton Pers. Essay
8 - Again I have incorporated your incredibly helpful commentary. It did make my essay more than 650 words, so I...
Undergraduategoingforgold - Oct 31, 2015 / goingforgold - Nov 1, 2015
|"And is in our DNA" - I am applying Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences; Northwestern as my home
UndergraduateMpberyl - Oct 30, 2015 / Mpberyl - Nov 1, 2015
|Why do I want pursue a career in nursing? 'They are nice and give lollipops.'
2 - Yasmin, I think we need to consider a different direction for your essay. At this point, the factors that...
Undergraduateyasminxx - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|STORYTELLING COLLEGE ESSAY - academic programs focused on communication and the arts
2 - While the content of the second essay itself is good and interesting, there are parts that can be omitted...
UndergraduateiSasha - Oct 29, 2015 / imacoolkid - Oct 31, 2015
|VEX Robotics tournament - I gained better programming and design skills, engineering interest
2 - The essay can use a little clarification in terms of content and there are some references that can be...
Undergraduateimacoolkid - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2015
|'interact with people from different walks of life' - Terps bring differences to a community; essay
6 - Hi Martina, if you don't mind, I'll be tweaking your essay for further improvements and making comments along the...
UndergraduateYoursTrulyLina - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2015
|Living place / chosen community - University of Brown Application - Supplement Writing Questions
4 - I'm having trouble getting that last sentence perfect... I came up with "There's no other group that I would...
UndergraduatePopeye - Oct 30, 2015 / Popeye - Oct 31, 2015
|Full Sail Ahead - venturing into auspicious tomorrows. Personal essay on interest.
4 - @vangiespen Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely be shortening it, changing content, etc. I titled it full sails ahead...
Undergraduatebaerrito - Oct 31, 2015 / baerrito - Oct 31, 2015
|Problem I have solved--fighting my own demon. Essay on how I dealt with an obstacle in my life.
Undergraduategraceqw - Oct 31, 2015 / graceqw - Oct 31, 2015
|TAMU ESSAY TOPIC B - a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people
Undergraduatejoystar17 - Oct 25, 2015 / joystar17 - Oct 30, 2015
|Common App Essay: The Morning of Foamy Tears
6 - JP, I agree with the other EF contributors, you are one writer with great humor and take on entertaining...
Undergraduatedesigirl16 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Brief Abroad Application paragraph. What do you hope to achieve academically & personally?
4 - Well Kate, I'd like to share my thoughts in the dilemma that you're going through. You remember the lesson...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Her face looks funny... Common App essay prompt 1
5 - Thanks for all your corrections. Below is the revised version of the essay. Can you please tell me if...
Undergraduatekayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 30, 2015
|What motivates me? I love CHOCOLATES!!-- Common App prompt 1
Undergraduatesavch - Oct 30, 2015 / savch - Oct 30, 2015
|Pursue a career in medicine after witnessing woman go into full cardiac arrest - Personal Statement
Undergraduategracechen31 - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Who you are? The general picture of what you represent - UC Personal Statement #2
Undergraduatekingkon18 - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Common App/ Challenged A Belief/ "If my child was gay, then I would put them up for adoption."
7 - Kerry, the revision of your essay is so much better. However, I have a few remarks that can hopefully...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Being the future successor of Herry Group, I was always the envy of others.
UndergraduateJayley - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|The Magician's Apprentice; The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success
Undergraduateahnafy - Oct 27, 2015 / ahnafy - Oct 30, 2015
|"Man creates art; art creates man." Theatre geek. Transition from a child to an adult.
4 - Here is my REALLY rough second draft. Thank you for helping me out! "Man creates art. Art creates...
Undergraduateryanmichel - Oct 29, 2015 / ryanmichel - Oct 30, 2015
|UF Admissions essay prompt 2015 - Why I am the Villain, not a movie hero?
2 - This is a very good analogy of the roles you were presented with Nicholas. Your reasons for opting to...
UndergraduateTheEngineer - Oct 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2015
|I am a well-known pioneer in my high school - How you contribute to life at Rice / First learn Rice
8 - I am in charge of campus events. you know submit the plans to school, find sponsors and supervise the...
Undergraduateaolafu - Oct 28, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 29, 2015
|Storytelling and Media Class - COLLEGE ESSAY
7 - Hi Sasha, take your time in revising your essay. As long as your deadline for submission is still far,...
UndergraduateiSasha - Oct 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2015
|We are a community with quirks... - University of Virginia (UVA) Supplemental Essay
Undergraduatetaufiqi - Oct 28, 2015 / taufiqi - Oct 28, 2015
|"COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD
Undergraduatecassitylys - Oct 26, 2015 / cassitylys - Oct 28, 2015
|Personal interraction with objects, images and spaces- essay for UT
2 - Michael, as an overview of your interest in computers, this essay really works well. However, I believe that it...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 28, 2015
|RICE UNIVERSITY (Early Decision applicant): Supplemental Essay Criticism
4 - Thanks guys. Louisa, your contribution to this site has been incredible and I can't thank you enough for your...
Undergraduatebobobobo214 - Oct 28, 2015 / bobobobo214 - Oct 28, 2015
|Common App - Loss of Father - we have shared the "special thing"
Undergraduatealysshi - Oct 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 28, 2015
|Undergraduate Application - Why essay for Duke Trinity College of Arts and Sciences
5 - :) Pretty thank you all !!!!! I'll soon revise my essay based on your suggestions~ Thanks again !!!...
UndergraduateSaraaaaaaah - Oct 26, 2015 / Saraaaaaaah - Oct 28, 2015
|Invent a Past for a Present - UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 27, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Intellectually-rich culture and traditions such as the Scav Hunt - Why UChicago Essay
6 - This essay is much better than your first, but still somewhat lacking. For instance, I can kind of...
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|"I really hate my hair" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateeg55 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Emerson College/ Attraction to Major/ Marketing Communications - Public Relations
2 - Great comparison with the puppeteer! However, as a publicist, I think using the word control sounds a little sinister....
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 27, 2015 / summer222 - Oct 27, 2015
|Academic Statement for Study Abroad - Intentions & Goals for Studying at University of Edinburgh
2 - Don't worry about that one essay cannot show all your perspectives. We have supplements. You can further narrow down...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 27, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 27, 2015
|Dissonance Debates. College faculty will be judging.
3 - @katevb, thanks for the feedback. I agree with you on your first point. As for the prompt, this is...
UndergraduateH2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015 / H2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015
|CHESS; MY LOVE, MY LIFE
2 - I think your essay is excellent mainly due to the multiple metaphors between life and the chess pieces. Can...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015
|READMISSION ESSAY - why did you leave NYU, what were you doing then, how you finish your course now?
7 - Thank you guys so much for the feedback. @justinivy03 I know...I very much regret that I wasted valuable money...
Undergraduatepey94 - Oct 19, 2015 / pey94 - Oct 26, 2015
|Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay- ED Environmental Science & Sustainability Major
3 - Duncan, I first did a quick read of your essay and found a few sentences on the 3rd paragraph...
Undergraduateduncan2016078 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 26, 2015
|U Mich Essay #1 on a community where I belong
9 - Chris, one way that you can lower your word count is by using only simple words to describe events...
Undergraduatesuperazusa - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|GTown Acitvities Essay- Summer Shadowing
2 - dBres, while you got busy discussing the world of surgery that you entered, you started to fall off in...
Undergraduatedanbrespadkit - Oct 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|A person want to meet - my grandfather. Personal Statement.
Undergraduatepoloniumx - Oct 22, 2015 / EF_Carol - Oct 26, 2015
|Just overnight, the family I was familiar with has disappeared, leaving only me and my father...
14 - Thank you so much! Sorry for being 'retarded' these days, I will try to combine all these and make...
UndergraduateFrank22 - Oct 19, 2015 / Frank22 - Oct 25, 2015
|The flight lessons to become a pilot - common app with the convenience prompt
6 - John, your essay is quiet amazing to read, taking up flying lessons knowing all your phobia is such a...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|I was born in Guangzhou, China and I moved to the United States when I was three years old. UC essay
Undergraduatelxuan - Oct 18, 2015 / lxuan - Oct 25, 2015
|'I was forced to think for myself' - UCF Undergraduate Personal Statment on a 'bump in the road'
UndergraduateJesus11 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"Terps are diverse" University of Maryland-College Park/Diversity Essay/Outsider
5 - Kerry, I agree that the revision you made is a well written one. However, I have a few inputs...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Common App Essay Rough Draft - 'meaningful identity'
Undergraduatequatranglette - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Macaron Process for Common App Essay 2015 Prompt 1?
4 - Zachery, what you have written is your eagerness to try what people look at as a very daunting task...
Undergraduatezson0123 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"How is service to others important in your life?" Virginia Tech Application Essay
4 - - The 4H club introduced me to manya lot of new opportunities-, the most important being community service. ...
Undergraduatecsell97 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|The Big Move to Jordan at the age of eight. Common App 2015-2016 Prompt College Essay.
3 - Well, tacolol, since this particular college gave you a topic to write about, you have to abide by it,...
Undergraduatetacolol - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|My Love for Law and Economics - USC Writing supplement
4 - Thanks so much for your feedback, guys! I will definitely work on it. I realize that my essay lacks...
Undergraduateaddvya - Oct 24, 2015 / addvya - Oct 25, 2015
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