|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 38 of 429|
|Brief Abroad Application paragraph. What do you hope to achieve academically & personally?
4 - Well Kate, I'd like to share my thoughts in the dilemma that you're going through. You remember the lesson...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|'My eyes sparkled as I looked at the body' University of California essay
4 - - This wasn't the first TV remote I'd broken open. - brought home convolutedcomplex machinery - as a...
Undergraduatealexlestrange - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Her face looks funny... Common App essay prompt 1
5 - Thanks for all your corrections. Below is the revised version of the essay. Can you please tell me if...
Undergraduatekayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 30, 2015
|What motivates me? I love CHOCOLATES!!-- Common App prompt 1
Undergraduatesavch - Oct 30, 2015 / savch - Oct 30, 2015
|Pursue a career in medicine after witnessing woman go into full cardiac arrest - Personal Statement
Undergraduategracechen31 - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Who you are? The general picture of what you represent - UC Personal Statement #2
Undergraduatekingkon18 - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Common App/ Challenged A Belief/ "If my child was gay, then I would put them up for adoption."
7 - Kerry, the revision of your essay is so much better. However, I have a few remarks that can hopefully...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Being the future successor of Herry Group, I was always the envy of others.
UndergraduateJayley - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|The Magician's Apprentice; The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success
Undergraduateahnafy - Oct 27, 2015 / ahnafy - Oct 30, 2015
|"Man creates art; art creates man." Theatre geek. Transition from a child to an adult.
4 - Here is my REALLY rough second draft. Thank you for helping me out! "Man creates art. Art creates...
Undergraduateryanmichel - Oct 29, 2015 / ryanmichel - Oct 30, 2015
|UF Admissions essay prompt 2015 - Why I am the Villain, not a movie hero?
2 - This is a very good analogy of the roles you were presented with Nicholas. Your reasons for opting to...
UndergraduateTheEngineer - Oct 29, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2015
|I am a well-known pioneer in my high school - How you contribute to life at Rice / First learn Rice
8 - I am in charge of campus events. you know submit the plans to school, find sponsors and supervise the...
Undergraduateaolafu - Oct 28, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 29, 2015
|Personal interraction with objects, images and spaces- essay for UT
5 - Thanks! This was my last essay I needed to write and you've helped me extraordinarily with all three, I...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 28, 2015 / theninjacrab - Oct 29, 2015
|Storytelling and Media Class - COLLEGE ESSAY
7 - Hi Sasha, take your time in revising your essay. As long as your deadline for submission is still far,...
UndergraduateiSasha - Oct 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2015
|We are a community with quirks... - University of Virginia (UVA) Supplemental Essay
Undergraduatetaufiqi - Oct 28, 2015 / taufiqi - Oct 28, 2015
|"COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD
Undergraduatecassitylys - Oct 26, 2015 / cassitylys - Oct 28, 2015
|RICE UNIVERSITY (Early Decision applicant): Supplemental Essay Criticism
4 - Thanks guys. Louisa, your contribution to this site has been incredible and I can't thank you enough for your...
Undergraduatebobobobo214 - Oct 28, 2015 / bobobobo214 - Oct 28, 2015
|Common App - Loss of Father - we have shared the "special thing"
Undergraduatealysshi - Oct 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 28, 2015
|Undergraduate Application - Why essay for Duke Trinity College of Arts and Sciences
5 - :) Pretty thank you all !!!!! I'll soon revise my essay based on your suggestions~ Thanks again !!!...
UndergraduateSaraaaaaaah - Oct 26, 2015 / Saraaaaaaah - Oct 28, 2015
|Invent a Past for a Present - UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 27, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Intellectually-rich culture and traditions such as the Scav Hunt - Why UChicago Essay
6 - This essay is much better than your first, but still somewhat lacking. For instance, I can kind of...
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|"I really hate my hair" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateeg55 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Emerson College/ Attraction to Major/ Marketing Communications - Public Relations
2 - Great comparison with the puppeteer! However, as a publicist, I think using the word control sounds a little sinister....
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 27, 2015 / summer222 - Oct 27, 2015
|Academic Statement for Study Abroad - Intentions & Goals for Studying at University of Edinburgh
2 - Don't worry about that one essay cannot show all your perspectives. We have supplements. You can further narrow down...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 27, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 27, 2015
|Dissonance Debates. College faculty will be judging.
3 - @katevb, thanks for the feedback. I agree with you on your first point. As for the prompt, this is...
UndergraduateH2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015 / H2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015
|CHESS; MY LOVE, MY LIFE
2 - I think your essay is excellent mainly due to the multiple metaphors between life and the chess pieces. Can...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015
|"Sky Poo" PERSONAL STATEMENT My dream to assist people in finding happiness.
6 - thank you! :)...
Undergraduateangelwu - Oct 22, 2015 / angelwu - Oct 27, 2015
|READMISSION ESSAY - why did you leave NYU, what were you doing then, how you finish your course now?
7 - Thank you guys so much for the feedback. @justinivy03 I know...I very much regret that I wasted valuable money...
Undergraduatepey94 - Oct 19, 2015 / pey94 - Oct 26, 2015
|Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay- ED Environmental Science & Sustainability Major
3 - Duncan, I first did a quick read of your essay and found a few sentences on the 3rd paragraph...
Undergraduateduncan2016078 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 26, 2015
|U Mich Essay #1 on a community where I belong
9 - Chris, one way that you can lower your word count is by using only simple words to describe events...
Undergraduatesuperazusa - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|GTown Acitvities Essay- Summer Shadowing
2 - dBres, while you got busy discussing the world of surgery that you entered, you started to fall off in...
Undergraduatedanbrespadkit - Oct 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|A person want to meet - my grandfather. Personal Statement.
Undergraduatepoloniumx - Oct 22, 2015 / EF_Carol - Oct 26, 2015
|Just overnight, the family I was familiar with has disappeared, leaving only me and my father...
14 - Thank you so much! Sorry for being 'retarded' these days, I will try to combine all these and make...
UndergraduateFrank22 - Oct 19, 2015 / Frank22 - Oct 25, 2015
|The flight lessons to become a pilot - common app with the convenience prompt
6 - John, your essay is quiet amazing to read, taking up flying lessons knowing all your phobia is such a...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|I was born in Guangzhou, China and I moved to the United States when I was three years old. UC essay
Undergraduatelxuan - Oct 18, 2015 / lxuan - Oct 25, 2015
|'I was forced to think for myself' - UCF Undergraduate Personal Statment on a 'bump in the road'
UndergraduateJesus11 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"Terps are diverse" University of Maryland-College Park/Diversity Essay/Outsider
5 - Kerry, I agree that the revision you made is a well written one. However, I have a few inputs...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Common App Essay Rough Draft - 'meaningful identity'
Undergraduatequatranglette - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Macaron Process for Common App Essay 2015 Prompt 1?
4 - Zachery, what you have written is your eagerness to try what people look at as a very daunting task...
Undergraduatezson0123 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Mount Holyoke College "never fear / change " essay! International student!
6 - Hi Rebecca, I agree that your revision is absolutely better than the first one and it helped that you...
Undergraduateita_int97 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"How is service to others important in your life?" Virginia Tech Application Essay
4 - - The 4H club introduced me to manya lot of new opportunities-, the most important being community service. ...
Undergraduatecsell97 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|The Big Move to Jordan at the age of eight. Common App 2015-2016 Prompt College Essay.
3 - Well, tacolol, since this particular college gave you a topic to write about, you have to abide by it,...
Undergraduatetacolol - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|My Love for Law and Economics - USC Writing supplement
4 - Thanks so much for your feedback, guys! I will definitely work on it. I realize that my essay lacks...
Undergraduateaddvya - Oct 24, 2015 / addvya - Oct 25, 2015
|DEFINE RATHER THAN DEFEND
5 - Just a few tweaks with the last sentence. I was also instrumental in establishing a biogas plant in...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Sep 17, 2015 / alexlestrange - Oct 25, 2015
|What did I wrong? I will never be perfect - common app essay
3 - Jeffyt, this is a very interesting essay. You actually took it full circle starting with your failure at the...
Undergraduatejeffyt - Oct 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 25, 2015
|What Disney taught me. Divorce brings not solely a dismay - also the gift of realization. Common App
2 - Hey Jessica :-) I know that divorce is something that clearly affects the life of a child. It causes...
Undergraduatejeffyt - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 24, 2015
|Princeton BSE Essay: "Why Princeton Engineering?"
6 - If you can find a way to relate the first paragraph to your first experience in Engineering, that would...
UndergraduateTheKMaster - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 24, 2015
|Penn State Activities Essay! Tell me if I should include more or revise it!
Undergraduatemarcod14 - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 24, 2015
|Race, Time, Competition - the common app main essay topic 1 2015
Undergraduateaolafu - Oct 18, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 23, 2015
|A dream reflects one's unconscious emotional state and life goal - VT personal statement
3 - - Many people have a dreams while they are sleeping. - The dream has wide range of nature from...
Undergraduatewnsgml0530 - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|Motivation Myself to Live Stronger in Life
4 - - MotivationMotivate Myself to Live Stronger in Life Tiffany, as you can see the first hit of your...
Undergraduatetiffany tran - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|I finally knew I was done searching; I was going to be a Hokie.
4 - Courtney, I believe you did your research and here on EF, a lot of students seek for constructive criticism...
Undergraduatecsell97 - Oct 20, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|Top Architecture school, so prideful that simply creates a palpable electricity - why to be a Hokie?
4 - I agree with all the comments above. As someone that graduated from Architecture School I think it would be...
Undergraduatesedgerton - Oct 19, 2015 / liliesandivory - Oct 22, 2015
|Sleep Paralysis - Essay on having a meaningful 'thing' which completes you as a person
6 - Josh, as I read through your essay, I believe the first 4 paragraphs are already good and we have...
Undergraduatejoshcruz428 - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 22, 2015
|Required 'Lifetime goals and extracirricular activities' essay
6 - 1st paragraph - extracurricular activities where you can apply hands on learning hands-on . 2nd paragraph - This...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 22, 2015
|Nerd Camp Changing my Life - PSU Undergrad Application
3 - Taking these recommendations and those from other people, I have rewritten the statement. Hopefully, it is an improvement on...
UndergraduateCTYhuskerSaint - Oct 20, 2015 / CTYhuskerSaint - Oct 22, 2015
|"Describe yourself" - brief paragraph for Undergraduate Study Abroad Program Application
3 - Thank you Louisa! I've tried to make it much shorter since it is actually only supposed to be one...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 21, 2015 / katevb - Oct 21, 2015
|I AM NOT AN OUTSIDER. I'm not a typical Egyptian. Common app essay
5 - Kayan, I read your essay and here's my observation. - the prompt was partly answered, partly because you...
Undergraduatekayanabdou - Oct 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|At times Blood is not thicker than water
UndergraduatePhatuu - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE
11 - The kind of grade that you will get will really depend upon how your teacher will view your written...
UndergraduateConnie31124 - Oct 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 21, 2015
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