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|Core Curriculum and location within the heart of New York - Columbia Supplment Essay: Why Columbia??
Undergraduateminjuo1 - Nov 9, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 10, 2015
|'Tell us about your college career to date ...' - UW Seattle Personal Statement - Academic Elements
5 - Muhammad, I would like to commend you on the way that you have revised the essay. You really have...
Undergraduatemnh78614 - Nov 8, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 9, 2015
|Blurred Vision among American adults - Common App Personal Essay
6 - Julia, honestly, the revised essay is far better than the original one. The paragraphs you made out of the...
Undergraduatejuliab00lia - Nov 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 9, 2015
|NYU Tisch (majoring in filmmaking) - "why us" essay
4 - Hello @Fahmisaja and @justivy03, thank you for you valuable feedback! My essay was indeed very lacking... I took on...
UndergraduateKyonabelle - Nov 5, 2015 / Kyonabelle - Nov 9, 2015
|Risking it all: UC Personal Statement
3 - Working hard for your future- UC Personal Statement Prompt Hello everyone, I would like some feedback on my...
Undergraduateel_jerry16 - Nov 8, 2015 / dodgers99j - Nov 9, 2015
|"Fashion to me means how one expresses themselves in a creative way..." FIT admissions essay
3 - Jessica, I would like to call your attention to the final part of your essay where you discuss why...
Undergraduatefashiongirl02 - Nov 8, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 8, 2015
|Destroy and Build the Word with Scissors - CommonApp Essay about Personal Dilemma
10 - Alright, thank you. I will focus on the scissor mentality more in my revisions tomorrow. Thanks for all the...
UndergraduateZebroGodilla - Nov 8, 2015 / ZebroGodilla - Nov 8, 2015
|Out of the few universities that I visited and applied for, UCF stood out the most. COLLEGE ESSAY!
10 - Vineeth, no, the paragraph about how you felt at home when you visited UCF is not at all condescending....
Undergraduatevineeth10 - Nov 5, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 8, 2015
|Development trajectories of Indian economy since Independence - correcting errors in the SoP
7 - Once again thanks a lot @justivy03 and@vangiespen, your team has always helped me so a big hug to you...
UndergraduateHargun003 - Nov 6, 2015 / Hargun003 - Nov 7, 2015
|"Jonathan, you're just not good enough" - Benchwarmer: The Power of Perseverance - Personal Essay
4 - 1st paragraph - my prior confidence and enthusiastic sparkenthusiasm were replaced by 3rd paragraph - I earned a...
Undergraduatejlee246 - Nov 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 7, 2015
|"Great East Japan Earthquake" - it changed the whole my life
Undergraduatejlee246 - Nov 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 7, 2015
|'dreams as big as oceans'; I wrote this statement of purpose for an exchange application
UndergraduateAilia_Z - Nov 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 7, 2015
|A Place That Makes You Dream
2 - Brittney, first of all, it would be helpful if you posted the prompt as well so that the contributors...
Undergraduatebrittneyakey - Oct 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|'failure to audition for drum major'. Common App - "The Major Goal"
Undergraduateqwertii - Oct 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|'A girl with depression, anxiety and without any self-confidence' My experience in helping others
Undergraduatedanielll - Oct 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON: Tell us a story from your life... (Personal Statement Criticism)
Undergraduatejyeonju - Oct 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|"If you can't find happiness, then just create your own" - How I built my Happiness
UndergraduateFieryNyan - Oct 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|Carleton first caught my attention, because of its size, location, and beautiful campus
5 - Anna, I'm afraid I have to agree with the other contributors, the essay doesn't correspond with the prompt. To...
Undergraduateannackellam - Oct 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 5, 2015
|ApplyTexas Essay: Conflict in life
3 - - Then there's the ones who live a mixturemixed life . - MaturingBeing a Mature individual meansis taking those...
Undergraduatechickenpiemary - Oct 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|UW Short Response. How would you contribute to this community?
Undergraduatedanhvu2212 - Oct 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, world citizen...
UndergraduateTheButcha - Oct 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|I am the master of my body and mind, I am no longer a "spoiled single child" transition to adulthood
Undergraduatemileshuang32 - Oct 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|Shooting monkeys or saving food - Common App
3 - Hi Avishka, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - Carefully heHe would carefullywould place a...
Undergraduateavishkas - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania?
4 - - which couldthat will lead to amazing research opportunities. - At Penn, I fully intend to take my academic...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 4, 2015
|'small round scars on my arms' - "Abuse" - Common App Prompt #5 essay
2 - Taylor, this is a timely, eye opening, and heartfelt topic that you chose to discuss. The fact that you...
Undergraduatetmhxc - Nov 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 3, 2015
|TRANSFERRING HIGHSCHOOL, solving problems mainly through a trial and error.
3 - Michael, first of all, it's good that you already have a topic, regardless of how broad it is, it's...
Undergraduatemaxima - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 3, 2015
|Common App Essay #4: How Whistling Changed My Perspective On Life
NEW - For University of Virginia : Word Count range(250-650 words) Here is my essay: I was not born a genie...
Undergraduatepdjr43dm - Nov 3, 2015 / — -
|'math within a field of computer science' - Mathematics Essay for Governor's School Program
Undergraduaterpeopler - Nov 2, 2015 / anfernee - Nov 3, 2015
|The Socks and Uniform - VA Quirks Essay
5 - dBres, the first essay is definitely quirky. I had fun reading it. It was worth my time of de-...
Undergraduatedanbrespadkit - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 2, 2015
|Keep Moving Forward - my coach words encouraged me. Common Application Essay Prompt 2
Undergraduateshuto - Nov 2, 2015 / admission2012 - Nov 2, 2015
|My Response for Gtown Essay on activities
4 - - Since early childhood, I have loved sports. - The chance to be able to enjoy sports with different...
Undergraduatehann12 - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 2, 2015
|The University of San Diego fulfills my 'college wishlist' completely.
3 - SBC, the first question I will ask you is, what is the word count related to this prompt? The...
Undergraduatesbc6 - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 2, 2015
|'my mom discuss her experiences at the LSA School' - U of M, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO HERE ESSAY
2 - Katie, I think that there is a discrepancy in your essay. You cannot claim to be unsure of your...
Undergraduatemia89 - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 2, 2015
|When we die... - NYU Tisch Supplemental Essay
2 - Life is peculiar. As such, we makecreatesome disasters but it gain blessings from them. For once in my life,...
Undergraduatequinnoconnell - Oct 30, 2015 / irhame - Nov 2, 2015
|'Grades can influence many things.' - Columbia early admission Common App essay
Undergraduatehelp_me_123 - Nov 1, 2015 / Hanan125 - Nov 2, 2015
|Essay for UIUC: Explain your interest in the major you selected.
7 - Thank you, Ms. Louisa. My application has been submitted successfully. The polish based on you advice is really helpful....
Undergraduatexanthorapedia - Oct 28, 2015 / xanthorapedia - Nov 1, 2015
|How I discovered my Korean-American identity through my experiences outdoors - COMMON APP ESSAY
2 - Lauren, you wrote a very insightful essay that has clearly depicted a unique background for yourself. It was excellent...
Undergraduatelololaurenn - Nov 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|I dont need force to keep moving - extra-curricular activities
6 - Devin, change the perspective of the whole essay and you will be more prompt compliant. Don't get imaginative with...
Undergraduatebuddythebear - Oct 11, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|Life Anime; chemistry teacher as a goal - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
UndergraduateLilBuddha - Oct 31, 2015 / LilBuddha - Nov 1, 2015
|"Why Marquette" - Marquette Essay - A diverse community that strives for academic excellence.
2 - Hi andrea, what you want to tell us in the first paragraph? because, honestly i have no idea about...
UndergraduateAndreaV - Oct 30, 2015 / Clark Kent - Nov 1, 2015
|Attitude Change: when opportunities arise, don't wait until it's too late - ED Princeton Pers. Essay
8 - Again I have incorporated your incredibly helpful commentary. It did make my essay more than 650 words, so I...
Undergraduategoingforgold - Oct 31, 2015 / goingforgold - Nov 1, 2015
|"And is in our DNA" - I am applying Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences; Northwestern as my home
UndergraduateMpberyl - Oct 30, 2015 / Mpberyl - Nov 1, 2015
|Why do I want pursue a career in nursing? 'They are nice and give lollipops.'
2 - Yasmin, I think we need to consider a different direction for your essay. At this point, the factors that...
Undergraduateyasminxx - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2015
|STORYTELLING COLLEGE ESSAY - academic programs focused on communication and the arts
2 - While the content of the second essay itself is good and interesting, there are parts that can be omitted...
UndergraduateiSasha - Oct 29, 2015 / imacoolkid - Oct 31, 2015
|VEX Robotics tournament - I gained better programming and design skills, engineering interest
2 - The essay can use a little clarification in terms of content and there are some references that can be...
Undergraduateimacoolkid - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2015
|'interact with people from different walks of life' - Terps bring differences to a community; essay
6 - Hi Martina, if you don't mind, I'll be tweaking your essay for further improvements and making comments along the...
UndergraduateYoursTrulyLina - Oct 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2015
|Living place / chosen community - University of Brown Application - Supplement Writing Questions
4 - I'm having trouble getting that last sentence perfect... I came up with "There's no other group that I would...
UndergraduatePopeye - Oct 30, 2015 / Popeye - Oct 31, 2015
|Full Sail Ahead - venturing into auspicious tomorrows. Personal essay on interest.
4 - @vangiespen Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely be shortening it, changing content, etc. I titled it full sails ahead...
Undergraduatebaerrito - Oct 31, 2015 / baerrito - Oct 31, 2015
|Problem I have solved--fighting my own demon. Essay on how I dealt with an obstacle in my life.
Undergraduategraceqw - Oct 31, 2015 / graceqw - Oct 31, 2015
|TAMU ESSAY TOPIC B - a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people
Undergraduatejoystar17 - Oct 25, 2015 / joystar17 - Oct 30, 2015
|Common App Essay: The Morning of Foamy Tears
6 - JP, I agree with the other EF contributors, you are one writer with great humor and take on entertaining...
Undergraduatedesigirl16 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Brief Abroad Application paragraph. What do you hope to achieve academically & personally?
4 - Well Kate, I'd like to share my thoughts in the dilemma that you're going through. You remember the lesson...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Her face looks funny... Common App essay prompt 1
5 - Thanks for all your corrections. Below is the revised version of the essay. Can you please tell me if...
Undergraduatekayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 30, 2015
|What motivates me? I love CHOCOLATES!!-- Common App prompt 1
Undergraduatesavch - Oct 30, 2015 / savch - Oct 30, 2015
|Pursue a career in medicine after witnessing woman go into full cardiac arrest - Personal Statement
Undergraduategracechen31 - Oct 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Who you are? The general picture of what you represent - UC Personal Statement #2
Undergraduatekingkon18 - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Common App/ Challenged A Belief/ "If my child was gay, then I would put them up for adoption."
7 - Kerry, the revision of your essay is so much better. However, I have a few remarks that can hopefully...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|Being the future successor of Herry Group, I was always the envy of others.
UndergraduateJayley - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 30, 2015
|The Magician's Apprentice; The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success
Undergraduateahnafy - Oct 27, 2015 / ahnafy - Oct 30, 2015
|"Man creates art; art creates man." Theatre geek. Transition from a child to an adult.
4 - Here is my REALLY rough second draft. Thank you for helping me out! "Man creates art. Art creates...
Undergraduateryanmichel - Oct 29, 2015 / ryanmichel - Oct 30, 2015
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