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|Invent a Past for a Present - UChicago Supplement
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 27, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Intellectually-rich culture and traditions such as the Scav Hunt - Why UChicago Essay
6 - This essay is much better than your first, but still somewhat lacking. For instance, I can kind of...
Undergraduatesummer222 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|"I really hate my hair" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateeg55 - Oct 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 28, 2015
|Emerson College/ Attraction to Major/ Marketing Communications - Public Relations
2 - Great comparison with the puppeteer! However, as a publicist, I think using the word control sounds a little sinister....
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 27, 2015 / summer222 - Oct 27, 2015
|Academic Statement for Study Abroad - Intentions & Goals for Studying at University of Edinburgh
2 - Don't worry about that one essay cannot show all your perspectives. We have supplements. You can further narrow down...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 27, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 27, 2015
|Dissonance Debates. College faculty will be judging.
3 - @katevb, thanks for the feedback. I agree with you on your first point. As for the prompt, this is...
UndergraduateH2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015 / H2SbF7 - Oct 27, 2015
|CHESS; MY LOVE, MY LIFE
2 - I think your essay is excellent mainly due to the multiple metaphors between life and the chess pieces. Can...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Oct 27, 2015 / kayanabdou - Oct 27, 2015
|READMISSION ESSAY - why did you leave NYU, what were you doing then, how you finish your course now?
7 - Thank you guys so much for the feedback. @justinivy03 I know...I very much regret that I wasted valuable money...
Undergraduatepey94 - Oct 19, 2015 / pey94 - Oct 26, 2015
|Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay- ED Environmental Science & Sustainability Major
3 - Duncan, I first did a quick read of your essay and found a few sentences on the 3rd paragraph...
Undergraduateduncan2016078 - Oct 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 26, 2015
|U Mich Essay #1 on a community where I belong
9 - Chris, one way that you can lower your word count is by using only simple words to describe events...
Undergraduatesuperazusa - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|GTown Acitvities Essay- Summer Shadowing
2 - dBres, while you got busy discussing the world of surgery that you entered, you started to fall off in...
Undergraduatedanbrespadkit - Oct 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 26, 2015
|A person want to meet - my grandfather. Personal Statement.
Undergraduatepoloniumx - Oct 22, 2015 / EF_Carol - Oct 26, 2015
|Just overnight, the family I was familiar with has disappeared, leaving only me and my father...
14 - Thank you so much! Sorry for being 'retarded' these days, I will try to combine all these and make...
UndergraduateFrank22 - Oct 19, 2015 / Frank22 - Oct 25, 2015
|The flight lessons to become a pilot - common app with the convenience prompt
6 - John, your essay is quiet amazing to read, taking up flying lessons knowing all your phobia is such a...
Undergraduatejohnjr121 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|I was born in Guangzhou, China and I moved to the United States when I was three years old. UC essay
Undergraduatelxuan - Oct 18, 2015 / lxuan - Oct 25, 2015
|'I was forced to think for myself' - UCF Undergraduate Personal Statment on a 'bump in the road'
UndergraduateJesus11 - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"Terps are diverse" University of Maryland-College Park/Diversity Essay/Outsider
5 - Kerry, I agree that the revision you made is a well written one. However, I have a few inputs...
Undergraduatekerry2654 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Common App Essay Rough Draft - 'meaningful identity'
Undergraduatequatranglette - Oct 23, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|Macaron Process for Common App Essay 2015 Prompt 1?
4 - Zachery, what you have written is your eagerness to try what people look at as a very daunting task...
Undergraduatezson0123 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|"How is service to others important in your life?" Virginia Tech Application Essay
4 - - The 4H club introduced me to manya lot of new opportunities-, the most important being community service. ...
Undergraduatecsell97 - Oct 22, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|The Big Move to Jordan at the age of eight. Common App 2015-2016 Prompt College Essay.
3 - Well, tacolol, since this particular college gave you a topic to write about, you have to abide by it,...
Undergraduatetacolol - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 25, 2015
|My Love for Law and Economics - USC Writing supplement
4 - Thanks so much for your feedback, guys! I will definitely work on it. I realize that my essay lacks...
Undergraduateaddvya - Oct 24, 2015 / addvya - Oct 25, 2015
|'My eyes sparkled as I looked at the body' University of California essay
2 - Ashwini, this is certainly an essay with unexpected content. It is not often that one will find a woman...
Undergraduatealexlestrange - Oct 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 25, 2015
|DEFINE RATHER THAN DEFEND
5 - Just a few tweaks with the last sentence. I was also instrumental in establishing a biogas plant in...
UndergraduateMensa418 - Sep 17, 2015 / alexlestrange - Oct 25, 2015
|What did I wrong? I will never be perfect - common app essay
3 - Jeffyt, this is a very interesting essay. You actually took it full circle starting with your failure at the...
Undergraduatejeffyt - Oct 25, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 25, 2015
|What Disney taught me. Divorce brings not solely a dismay - also the gift of realization. Common App
2 - Hey Jessica :-) I know that divorce is something that clearly affects the life of a child. It causes...
Undergraduatejeffyt - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 24, 2015
|Princeton BSE Essay: "Why Princeton Engineering?"
6 - If you can find a way to relate the first paragraph to your first experience in Engineering, that would...
UndergraduateTheKMaster - Oct 24, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 24, 2015
|Penn State Activities Essay! Tell me if I should include more or revise it!
Undergraduatemarcod14 - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 24, 2015
|Race, Time, Competition - the common app main essay topic 1 2015
Undergraduateaolafu - Oct 18, 2015 / aolafu - Oct 23, 2015
|A dream reflects one's unconscious emotional state and life goal - VT personal statement
3 - - Many people have a dreams while they are sleeping. - The dream has wide range of nature from...
Undergraduatewnsgml0530 - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|Motivation Myself to Live Stronger in Life
4 - - MotivationMotivate Myself to Live Stronger in Life Tiffany, as you can see the first hit of your...
Undergraduatetiffany tran - Oct 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|I finally knew I was done searching; I was going to be a Hokie.
4 - Courtney, I believe you did your research and here on EF, a lot of students seek for constructive criticism...
Undergraduatecsell97 - Oct 20, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 23, 2015
|Top Architecture school, so prideful that simply creates a palpable electricity - why to be a Hokie?
4 - I agree with all the comments above. As someone that graduated from Architecture School I think it would be...
Undergraduatesedgerton - Oct 19, 2015 / liliesandivory - Oct 22, 2015
|Sleep Paralysis - Essay on having a meaningful 'thing' which completes you as a person
6 - Josh, as I read through your essay, I believe the first 4 paragraphs are already good and we have...
Undergraduatejoshcruz428 - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 22, 2015
|"Sky Poo" PERSONAL STATEMENT My dream to assist people in finding happiness.
2 - Hi Angel Since you are applying for Hong Kong's university I believe your story at the beginning will certainly...
Undergraduateangelwu - Oct 22, 2015 / bonboncase - Oct 22, 2015
|Mount Holyoke College "never fear / change " essay! International student!
3 - Hi Rebecca :-) You have written a pretty good essay that embodies a woman who does not have fears...
Undergraduateita_int97 - Oct 22, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 22, 2015
|Nerd Camp Changing my Life - PSU Undergrad Application
3 - Taking these recommendations and those from other people, I have rewritten the statement. Hopefully, it is an improvement on...
UndergraduateCTYhuskerSaint - Oct 20, 2015 / CTYhuskerSaint - Oct 22, 2015
|"Describe yourself" - brief paragraph for Undergraduate Study Abroad Program Application
3 - Thank you Louisa! I've tried to make it much shorter since it is actually only supposed to be one...
Undergraduatekatevb - Oct 21, 2015 / katevb - Oct 21, 2015
|I AM NOT AN OUTSIDER. I'm not a typical Egyptian. Common app essay
5 - Kayan, I read your essay and here's my observation. - the prompt was partly answered, partly because you...
Undergraduatekayanabdou - Oct 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|At times Blood is not thicker than water
UndergraduatePhatuu - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|The Scary 11ft Swimming Test PERSONAL NARRATIVE
11 - The kind of grade that you will get will really depend upon how your teacher will view your written...
UndergraduateConnie31124 - Oct 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 21, 2015
|Volunteering and tutoring - my contribution to the UIC Honors College community
5 - - I will helped contribute to the UIC Honors College Program in countless ways. - I am passionate...
UndergraduateEssayist2 - Oct 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|"Curious to know all of it." - Essay on choice of CS as a Major for Undergraduate
5 - Thank you very much for the reply! I agree a lot with your opinions, you make some really good...
UndergraduateHellXWar - Oct 20, 2015 / HellXWar - Oct 21, 2015
|'great programs for pre-medical studies' - My interest to study in Illinois Institute of Technology
4 - - I was continuously searching and searching - Finally, I sawfound it. - I was intrigued by thewith these...
UndergraduateEssayist2 - Oct 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 21, 2015
|College to master the Japanese language - conclusion revision...
Undergraduatequrfy - Oct 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 20, 2015
|Honor Game -- "we are unique no matter what" life motto (Personal Essay)
Undergraduateayaelsaka95 - Oct 19, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 19, 2015
|I love.... fish tanks -- Columbia Essay
Undergraduateaparsons - Oct 16, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2015
|Personal Statement for Tulane! I'm struggling with coming up with something engaging!
UndergraduateKsmith123 - Oct 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2015
|My Dinosaur Bone Essay for Caltech - I don't think I am expressing myself well enough (help!)
3 - Marcelo, as I read through your essay, I felt your interest in things that can bring a lot of...
UndergraduateJetninja - Oct 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2015
|Eternal Happiness. A choice from the activities section of a Common Application
4 - Alaina, with the restrictions of the word count, I suggest that you go straight to the point of what...
Undergraduateasinch - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2015
|Proclaiming Myself as a Red Fox (Marist Supplement Essay)
3 - - I find that Marist is highly invested - in their students'( an apostrophe is not needed in the...
UndergraduateRthayer623 - Oct 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 19, 2015
|HKU Personal Statement: If I could have one superpower, I would want to read other people's minds
2 - Angel, I like the slant that you have about "reading people's minds". It is something that resonates with people...
Undergraduateangelwu - Oct 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 19, 2015
|The fate of a nation lies in their diet! - Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay - Needs Help in Reviewing
2 - Jeremy, this essay is quite good. But the introduction is too long and needs to be cut down. The...
UndergraduateJJREDICK - Oct 17, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 17, 2015
|Required 'Lifetime goals and extracirricular activities' essay
2 - Michael, what is the maximum word count for your response? The reason I ask is because you don't really...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 17, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 17, 2015
|"Shortcomings in Mental Healthcare" UW Madison Application
3 - 1st paragraph - attention to the media circus 3rd paragraph - Around 25% of ourthe homeless community suffer...
UndergraduateMzimo - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 17, 2015
|Why Georgia Tech? - An aspiring entrepreneur and engineer
6 - Well, I quickly run into your essay, first of all, do not abbreviate or shorten the words specially if...
UndergraduateTheJainMan - Oct 12, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 16, 2015
|I thought I could take on Chuck Norris, and I'm the pure reincarnation of Bruce Lee - Common App
Undergraduatellama24 - Oct 13, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 16, 2015
|Georgia Tech acceptance essay (Max: 150 words) - such a great college that's so close to my home
Undergraduatejoshuav523 - Oct 13, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 16, 2015
|Religion holds a lot of mysteries where the world would never know - CommonApp Essay Prompt 3
6 - I'm really sad to hear that Andrew. While I understand your mother's point of view, I also know, from...
Undergraduatealtran16 - Oct 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 15, 2015
|SHOPPING IN THE GROCERY STORE - tortured by choice dillemmas
Undergraduateshjeong - Oct 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 15, 2015
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