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|I'm an enlisted sailor - USNA Personal essay question
7 - We need to adjust the content of the following paragraph so that it does not sound like you are...
UndergraduateYNnope - Nov 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Dec 4, 2015
|The Fashion business has always been in my plans. Advertising and Marketing Communications - FIT
2 - Elena, I remember there were a few students rooting for FIT and I believe they did well in this...
UndergraduateECalv001 - Dec 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 3, 2015
|How are you and St. Olaf a good fit for each other? (100 words)
3 - HI Roshan, I'd like to share my views on your supplement essay. - would helpwill assist me to...
Undergraduatenepal1 - Nov 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 3, 2015
|What do you do? Why do you do it? (20-200 words).
6 - I think your answer properly answers the prompt. I think there will be different answers because the prompt gives...
Undergraduateellaak - Nov 27, 2015 / JamieB - Dec 3, 2015
|Not all hardships in life come with warning signs. Common App Essay - Overcoming a hardship
2 - Brooke, as I finish reading your essay, I believe it's written quiet well. You have answered the prompt properly...
Undergraduatebrooke4679 - Dec 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 2, 2015
|UPENN undergrad application. Prompt: Exploring intellectual and academic interested at UPenn
5 - You probably want to focus more on your academic, you wrote too much on your interest. You will need...
UndergraduateKyonabelle - Nov 26, 2015 / ashleen - Dec 2, 2015
|'lucky to be introduced to computers' - UC Prompt 1 - Transfer Essay and Prompt 2 - Computer Science
8 - I have already finished my application but I need to make this clear and give you an advice about...
Undergraduatenetlev - Nov 25, 2015 / netlev - Dec 1, 2015
|USC application - leadership club as my non-academic pursuit
2 - Hi Abby, I'm pleased to read your essay. While you can explain well your experience in your family,...
Undergraduateskigirl343 - Dec 1, 2015 / fahmisadja - Dec 1, 2015
|Building a bridge from my visions to my reality - Claremont McKenna Short Essay Question
3 - This is some impressive feedback from justivy. I'll share a few thoughts, too. Usually, it is a great practice...
Undergraduatehus4144 - Dec 1, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Dec 1, 2015
|FAMILY HISTORY ESSAY - very wise and ambitious grandmother
3 - Sasha, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay. - However,I share the same love my grandmother...
UndergraduateiSasha - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|How will your Semester at Sea voyage create (or enhance) your personal global perspective?
Undergraduatelidorf - Nov 30, 2015 / jdsada98 - Dec 1, 2015
|'the smell of arroz con pollo and freshly made lumpia' - Different Experiences Essay
3 - Calvin, as I finish proof reading your essay, I conclude that it's quiet premature to submit your essay at...
Undergraduatecalvincruz - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|UT Essay Topic C: Coloring in my Character
6 - That's good to hear that we were able to help, so Alisha, below are my remarks for the conclusive...
Undergraduatekibawa - Nov 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|Motivation letter for bsc Economics. Can someone check it if its good or not?
4 - Gzsofi, as I proofread your essay, here's my remarks. - the essay is quiet weak, very premature for...
Undergraduategzsofi - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|Standing Alone/ Common App challenge a belief/idea
3 - Dawson, first things first on your essay. The segmented or small paragraphs on your essay does not work very...
Undergraduatehoreyd - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|The Beauty of Equality, my religious pilgrimage to Saudi Arabia (Personal Statement for UW)
Undergraduaterahman786 - Dec 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Dec 1, 2015
|"What if this truck ran me over?" - UC Personal Statement about Overcoming Depression
2 - - I have struggled with depression and anxiety for the majority of my teenage years. Because of, with the...
Undergraduatesarahann98 - Nov 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 30, 2015
|The day I was born, my parents immediately had tremendous aspirations for me - UC Application
5 - Parker, as I finish reading your essay, I conclude that you did a good job in responding to the...
Undergraduateloopywaffle - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 30, 2015
|My background and how the passing of a parent has shaped me today as a student/person.
Undergraduatekaldenjorkhang - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 30, 2015
|'overwhelmed with emotion' - Transfer Applicant - George Washington University
10 - Thank you for the help! If ever there's something I'd like to add to the essay, I'll post it...
Undergraduatedaisylad - Nov 25, 2015 / daisylad - Nov 30, 2015
|I am a culprit of identity theft. Personal Statement for UW
2 - Hi, as to me, I think this essay is well-written. And here are some advice (I'm only a rookie...
Undergraduatecaseychong98 - Nov 30, 2015 / LucasLiu - Nov 30, 2015
|UC PROMPT 2- Battling depression and anorexia
2 - Hi Alice.. Your story give me motivation to fight always in all kinds conditions This writing is very good...
Undergraduatealicer333 - Nov 30, 2015 / akbarmappiare - Nov 30, 2015
|The experience which I feel shaped my character the most was the Duke of Edinburgh Award.
Undergraduatejon4659 - Nov 29, 2015 / jon4659 - Nov 30, 2015
|Help with University of Washington Cultural Essay? What Would I Contribute to the Community?
4 - Hi Ardhaser.. This writing is very good to grammar and explanation. Your eagerness is described clearly in your writing....
UndergraduateSilotolis - Nov 29, 2015 / akbarmappiare - Nov 30, 2015
|Admission essay into accelerated PA program
Undergraduatekitkat - Nov 29, 2015 / pbhutiani - Nov 30, 2015
|Contributing to the community! I am American-Chinese. I lived experiencing different cultural values
Undergraduatebestgio - Nov 29, 2015 / fahmisadja - Nov 29, 2015
|Lifetime goals - pursuing a career in the medical field
2 - very good intro! very unique! your essay shows a lot of personality which is great!! only thing that stands...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / kitkat - Nov 29, 2015
|How my abandonment at 13 has influenced who I am today
NEW - Please help me out! thank you! Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so...
Undergraduatekitkat - Nov 29, 2015 / — -
|Disneyland vacation - Short response based on culture
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 28, 2015 / katiedirt4 - Nov 29, 2015
|For or Against Embryonic Stem Cell Transplants?
2 - Marlayna, I read through your essay and I believe it's written quiet well, at first I thought you were...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|My failures are my Successes- Nervous Applicant. Personal Statement UW
Undergraduateshubh - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|AP classes, UIL events, Academic Decathlon - these activities helped me achieve goals - Essay C
5 - Dustin, the revised essay is indeed shorter than the first one and absolutely better than the first one too....
Undergraduatedustinthewind - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Finding Myself in Sierra Leone
3 - Marlayna, I believe you have a good essay here, you were able to properly incorporate your experience and serve...
UndergraduateMarlyk - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|This is two different parts of my essay for UC application, can you give me some advice?
UndergraduateShangjing - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|I had a round table discussion assignment on current supreme court cases the following week.
UndergraduateSamm22 - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|UC Personal Statement: The Hope to Survive
5 - Alexis, it's good that you're rooting for the medical world as a career, there's not much students these days...
Undergraduatesimonelex - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Common App Essay- Living in Spain as a Christian Missionary....
3 - Rebecca, as much as I loved reading your essay, I see that it lacks the smooth transition of events...
Undergraduatemiamarie - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|4 Questions, 400 Words - Where to start? / NYU Supplemental Essay
3 - Brittany, you are very lucky to have Louisa take on the challenge of meeting the word count for your...
Undergraduatebrittanyaog - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|"USC students are known to be involved." - USC Writing Supplement Short-Answer #1
3 - Charlotte, I believe your essay responded very well to the prompt. It has all the elements needed to entice...
Undergraduatedance88 - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Experience with someone whose beliefs differ from mine
3 - Daysi, I must say, you nailed what is asked of the prompt. You made questions that are the exact...
Undergraduatetenwavess - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|Collage Application Essay " What I learned from experience in CANADA "
3 - - I loved to experience new things and makingmake new friends. - I had difficulty dealing with Chinese studentsat...
UndergraduateKAZUKICHI - Nov 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 29, 2015
|American way of life - UC prompt 1 personal statement - My dream school is UC Berkeley!
10 - I love the imagery you invoked with a lot of your word choices...very well done! I only have...
Undergraduatekalagang - Nov 22, 2015 / jenamenifer - Nov 29, 2015
|The absolute destruction of my life developed into a desire to succeed. 'Obstacle' essay
2 - Veronica, you need to make the essay less about your parents and more about the conflict that you faced...
Undergraduateplebs98 - Nov 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 28, 2015
|US childhood and citizenship, although origins and heritage resides in India - Texas admission essay
UndergraduateSriramK - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|I am finsishing my college essays and I am having a hard time would some tell me how mine is!
3 - Katlyn, I can see that you have a following here already, it's not so good feedback but at least...
Undergraduatekatiedirt4 - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|Common App Essay - "You're pretty, for a fat girl."
4 - Destinee, it's good that you call this essay a rough draft, this essay needs absolutely a lot of help....
Undergraduatedesi__d - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|Personal Essay for Film Major Supplemental Application
3 - Lynn, I believe your essay can be revised to make is stronger, the interest and willingness to study and...
Undergraduatethilvnn - Nov 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|I am incredibly proud of my AP scores - UC Personal Statement [Freshman] Prompt #2
Undergraduatewonderland562 - Nov 28, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 28, 2015
|"aha!" moment - Intended Major: Biology - UC Transfer Prompt 1
UndergraduateWombatWill - Nov 26, 2015 / andyis - Nov 28, 2015
|Bad Spaghetti - Stanford Supplement (Intellectual Vitality)
5 - Thank you for the critique all. I did post this before but then removed it after deciding I wouldn't...
Undergraduatebamabhai - Nov 28, 2015 / bamabhai - Nov 28, 2015
|My "best" friend - panic disorder. UC Personal Statement
7 - Hi Rachel, sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I wanted to make sure that the revision...
Undergraduatecodbfl12 - Nov 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 28, 2015
|PROUD TO OVERCOME AND BE ME UC TRANSFER PERSONAL STATEMENT
2 - Phoebe, your story is one that will definitely shock the reviewer. If he ever gets to the part about...
Undergraduatepeepsielu - Nov 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Nov 28, 2015
|UC Personal Statement! Prompt 1- Me as an unique cultural mixture Prompt 2- What I learned in Mexico
4 - Hi Ko, I'd like to share my thoughts on your essay, first essay first. Describe the world you...
Undergraduaterh346 - Nov 24, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|Computers and Me - computer science, mathematics, programming languages, the Linux terminal - for UC
Undergraduatewonderland562 - Nov 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|I thought she was DEAD - [UC Prompt 2]
14 - Thank you so much vangiespen! Your insight and constructive criticism was really pivotal to me writing this essay the...
Undergraduatehalokenisis - Nov 22, 2015 / halokenisis - Nov 27, 2015
|GPPA Program: Why direct to medical school?
Undergraduatechotu9 - Nov 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Nov 27, 2015
|The sky is the limit? No, it's just the beginning! University of Illinois Undergraduate Admission
4 - I think you have answered the question well, however I think the conclusion should be more written about your...
UndergraduateSriramK - Nov 27, 2015 / codbfl12 - Nov 27, 2015
|My grandma and a coup of chicken soup - UC prompt 1
2 - hi...Sarah,.. you writing not too bad. here my advice. in the first paragraph you talk about your grandmother...
Undergraduatevs321 - Nov 27, 2015 / hasbi - Nov 27, 2015
|'You can't create experiences, experiences create you' - Washington Univ. undergraduate application
3 - Let me give you some feedback. As far as I concern to your personal statement, It is impressive experience....
UndergraduateFreakingtall - Nov 27, 2015 / Nofrinorman - Nov 27, 2015
|It took me a lot of years to realize that the person influencing me the most was my father. Intro.
5 - Hi..Joshua.. Here are some general pointers you can follow to write the best introduction letter the world has...
Undergraduatejoshuapradhan - Nov 24, 2015 / hasbi - Nov 27, 2015
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