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|HKU Personal Statement: If I could have one superpower, I would want to read other people's minds
2 - Angel, I like the slant that you have about "reading people's minds". It is something that resonates with people...
Undergraduateangelwu - Oct 18, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 19, 2015
|The fate of a nation lies in their diet! - Cornell CALS Supplemental Essay - Needs Help in Reviewing
2 - Jeremy, this essay is quite good. But the introduction is too long and needs to be cut down. The...
UndergraduateJJREDICK - Oct 17, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 17, 2015
|Required 'Lifetime goals and extracirricular activities' essay
2 - Michael, what is the maximum word count for your response? The reason I ask is because you don't really...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 17, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 17, 2015
|"Shortcomings in Mental Healthcare" UW Madison Application
3 - 1st paragraph - attention to the media circus 3rd paragraph - Around 25% of ourthe homeless community suffer...
UndergraduateMzimo - Oct 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 17, 2015
|Why Georgia Tech? - An aspiring entrepreneur and engineer
6 - Well, I quickly run into your essay, first of all, do not abbreviate or shorten the words specially if...
UndergraduateTheJainMan - Oct 12, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 16, 2015
|I thought I could take on Chuck Norris, and I'm the pure reincarnation of Bruce Lee - Common App
Undergraduatellama24 - Oct 13, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 16, 2015
|Georgia Tech acceptance essay (Max: 150 words) - such a great college that's so close to my home
Undergraduatejoshuav523 - Oct 13, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 16, 2015
|Religion holds a lot of mysteries where the world would never know - CommonApp Essay Prompt 3
6 - I'm really sad to hear that Andrew. While I understand your mother's point of view, I also know, from...
Undergraduatealtran16 - Oct 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 15, 2015
|SHOPPING IN THE GROCERY STORE - tortured by choice dillemmas
Undergraduateshjeong - Oct 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 15, 2015
|Transfer Essay for the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign " All of the most successful..."
2 - Prong, you need to focus your essay equally on your academic goals and professional aspirations. Therefore, you will need...
UndergraduateProngolman - Oct 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 15, 2015
|I AM STARING AT INFINITY - Essay for Film Studies
Undergraduatealimf95 - Oct 2, 2015 / alimf95 - Oct 15, 2015
|With ardor and devotion - Amore ac Studio. Bates supplement essay
4 - For one, the grammar is a little sloppy. i.e: try not to start the sentence with But and instead...
Undergraduatesamriddhakc - Oct 13, 2015 / aikoashiya - Oct 13, 2015
|Oliver! - my treasured jeep patriot who gets my credit for facilitating my transition into adulthood
4 - Janice, the opinion of your teacher may be that your topic is arrogant. However, not all people share the...
Undergraduatejs0116 - Oct 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 13, 2015
|A Reflection Across History
5 - Well Kevin, since you decided to incorporate this essay to your other application, bear in mind the following; ...
Undergraduatekev46p - Oct 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 13, 2015
|UChicago Essay Prompt: "Find X". (Wrote about my passion for computers and patterns)
4 - Mohammad, your essay is such a good read, you were able to mix two worlds together, the "X" as...
UndergraduateOutlooker - Oct 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 13, 2015
|My intended major is Informatics and I hope to focus on Human Computer Interaction. UC Irvine essay
4 - Muhammad, as much it is stated in the first sentence of your essay that Informatics id indeed your target...
Undergraduatemnh78614 - Oct 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 13, 2015
|Busy and the most sensitive summer 15 when something had been changed - Personal Essay
9 - thank you...
Undergraduatealimf95 - Oct 3, 2015 / alimf95 - Oct 12, 2015
|An activist of veganism - College Application Essay / Following The Prompt?
Undergraduatemack1738 - Sep 28, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 12, 2015
|Non-Academics That I Have Learned Through Academics University of Texas at Austin App Essay
4 - If I did not have this competitiveness I do not think I would have excelled so much in academics...
Undergraduatemack1738 - Sep 28, 2015 / harshini elath - Oct 12, 2015
|pb&j's - Peanut butter jelly! Common app essay
2 - Janice, you are way off the mark with this essay. The prompt wants you to discuss a specific moment...
Undergraduatejs0116 - Oct 12, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 12, 2015
|"Study for the benefit of others. Why not change the world?" Boston College Supplement
2 - Janice, what is the word count limit on this essay? There is actually a whole portion of the essay...
Undergraduatejs0116 - Oct 12, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 12, 2015
|Why Georgia Tech? As a student who values hard work and ingenuity, challenges don't frighten me.
UndergraduateTDavenport - Oct 11, 2015 / TDavenport - Oct 12, 2015
|Why Yale? I am instantly welcomed into what will become my future support system.
UndergraduateEnnArr - Oct 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 12, 2015
|To envision a great space and create an atmosphere to better the overall health and the safety
8 - @carol, with the collaboration of EF contributors and your initial article, I believe you should be able to submit...
Undergraduatecarolaphlaka - Oct 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 12, 2015
|To be a Mandarin Language Teaching Volunteer abroad
3 - Bian, before any grammar corrections are made to your essay, we first need to know what it is that...
UndergraduateChelseablq - Oct 12, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 12, 2015
|I'm proud of my accomplishments because I know that I have made a difference in people's lives.
Undergraduatemissheart - Oct 10, 2015 / missheart - Oct 11, 2015
|Fixing the US Education System (Entrance essay)
4 - Sam, the first thing I wanted to know when I started reading your essay was, what is your position...
Undergraduatesdenby - Oct 10, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 11, 2015
|Why GIT short response max 150 words - Georgia Tech is the perfect school for me.
4 - Lucy, I think that you can have a more focused response to essay prompt. I believe you are going...
UndergraduateCC98 - Oct 9, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 11, 2015
|'tough road filled with temptations' - UW-Madison Statement one
Undergraduatejm7685 - Oct 10, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 10, 2015
|My performance in the Talent Show and further competitions - meaningful talent essay
11 - @davidy, the word "suddenly" is fine, it's an addition to your essay and it makes it feel urgent and...
Undergraduatedavidy - Oct 8, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 10, 2015
|If you had one do-over in life, what would it be? UNC ESSAY.
Undergraduateharrisong - Oct 10, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 10, 2015
|My junior year - "This is it. Chemistry is going to be my major." But then I changed my mind...
2 - @user23, junior year is one of the crucial years, this is where you have to be very decisive and...
Undergraduateuser23 - Oct 10, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 10, 2015
|I wasn't entirely sure about what type of engineer I want to be - Statment two for UW-Madison
4 - Thanks for all helpful comments i really appreciate it. I will be posting my revised version on here...
Undergraduatejm7685 - Oct 8, 2015 / jm7685 - Oct 9, 2015
|While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty and integrity are sometimes puzzling. Caltech 2
3 - - ButHowever, he was adamant - and warned that if not complied toI don't comply , - Initially...
Undergraduatesmartyp - Oct 8, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 9, 2015
|How glasses have shaped my world - UC Prompt 1
UndergraduateJacmob - Oct 8, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 9, 2015
|There are a million and one different things to consider when choosing what college to attend.
3 - - Growing upTaking care of animals has.. - ...always been my passion; - ever since I wasas a little...
Undergraduatexo_mayaa - Oct 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 8, 2015
|NYU Tisch School of the Arts - Review "How We Define Creative Entrepreneur"
4 - - Being an artist nowadays require beingsomeone to be intricate... - ...and multi-layeredmult- dimensional . - At this point...
Undergraduatedrzyszn - Oct 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 8, 2015
|A new perspective: Priveleged vs. Unprivileged...PENN STATE Personal Statement
4 - - ...the United States all of my life. - ...my parents never let me forget thefail to remind me...
Undergraduatejvc1632 - Oct 7, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 8, 2015
|Why GIT (beyond rankings, location, and athletics) & Your Future after GIT - Georgia Tech
3 - Thank you so much! Do you think that after the grammar correction, the two short essays are ready to...
Undergraduateanfernee - Oct 8, 2015 / anfernee - Oct 8, 2015
|I have always had difficulty expressing myself. I had to be sure that every my word was perfect.
5 - Thanks so much for the feedback everyone, I'm really glad I got some new perspectives on my essay...
Undergraduatefireball - Oct 7, 2015 / fireball - Oct 8, 2015
|These are the few experiences that have motivated me to develop a career in STEM - 1st Caltech essay
Undergraduatesmartyp - Oct 8, 2015 / smartyp - Oct 8, 2015
|Why I can't eat my waffles like pizza anymore
6 - I enjoyed reading this essay. There are a few grammar and spelling errors that have been touched upon by...
Undergraduatehrgawlik - Sep 23, 2015 / Jacmob - Oct 8, 2015
|It all started with a workbook my mom ordered for me - My interest in Japanese language and culture
5 - Thanks for your suggestions! I'd love to meet the fellow Japanese student interested in attending UVA, hopefully we'll both...
Undergraduateamyo_98 - Oct 4, 2015 / amyo_98 - Oct 7, 2015
|"Shall we Dance" - a Japanese movie. UVA College of Arts and Sciences Essay
6 - I actually have a word limit to this essay (no more than 250 words), but I would definitely add...
Undergraduateamyo_98 - Oct 4, 2015 / amyo_98 - Oct 7, 2015
|What would you fight for? & Describe yourself, Honors Program Application
6 - Jize, does the fight that you are discussing relate in some way to your chosen college major? If it...
Undergraduateanfernee - Oct 5, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 6, 2015
|Intellectual vitality Essay for Stanford -- sisters v. pilgrimage (250 words)
5 - - Not only did this experience reveal, within me, resilient curiosity within me but also courage. - Being that...
Undergraduatehgawlik8 - Oct 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|Growing up in Poland and then after 17 years applying to the US colleges - Tufts Supplement Essay #2
4 - - ...most influential factor onin the person I am today. - ...was at my grandparents'( an apostrophe is not...
Undergraduatekarol16688 - Oct 4, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|Villanova Supplement Writing - My Grandmother and Genuineness
5 - Hi @Csar, I hope my suggestions is not too late. Kindly find them below. - ...Sweet and generous...
UndergraduateCsarbeng - Oct 4, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|Dropping grades and then recovery - to overcome my procrastination and the lazy lifestyle
4 - Well Michael, initially running through your essay, I kind of grasping for air, as your sentences lacks a few...
Undergraduatetheninjacrab - Oct 4, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|Mom motivates to succeed in life
4 - @rmaxena, at first I was not sure what you're aim in writing this quiet short essay and I believe...
Undergraduatermaxena - Oct 4, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|Right now, what is uniquely you?--Absence and knowledge--my story
UndergraduateMcClungE - Oct 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 6, 2015
|SOCIAL MEDIA - Blessing & Curse; Undergraduate Essay-Challenging a Belief or Idea
Undergraduatemdr18 - Oct 29, 2013 / justivy03 - Oct 5, 2015
|Key Club - UC Prompt 2 - Talk about your achievement and talent
Undergraduatekhoifish1297 - Oct 4, 2015 / khoifish1297 - Oct 4, 2015
|Learning Systems - Critique my Why Caltech essay? Intellectual curiosity in a scientific exploration
UndergraduatedeezNuts4Prez - Oct 4, 2015 / deezNuts4Prez - Oct 4, 2015
|Unforgettable quotes from the literature - Amherst essay
3 - Well, @schang, I believe you delivered what is asked of the prompt. The points are met to be able...
Undergraduateschang2016 - Oct 1, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|Important life lessons from Panera Bread
3 - - ...to very many othera lot of people... - aside fromother than my family and friends, - ...of my...
Undergraduateogessays - Sep 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|Why U Chicago - polymath education for an aspiring critic
6 - Hi, I would like to further the help you receive from other EF contributors, I hope this helps. ...
Undergraduatewhipsnade97 - Sep 29, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 4, 2015
|International Relations - statement of purpose (undergraduate program)
3 - Actually, I had a much more intriguing experience as how I got introduced to International Relations. I was doubtful...
UndergraduateJustineMahone12 - Oct 3, 2015 / JustineMahone12 - Oct 3, 2015
|More than what they expected - Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, etc.
2 - Italy, you have a very informative essay. It really depicts your circumstances in life and how you overcame them....
UndergraduateItalyCerda - Oct 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Oct 3, 2015
|'hectic and busy life' - Challenges/Hardships That Affected You (Personal Statement!)
4 - - At the beginning - theof summer before tenth grade, - StartingIt started with a slight - I knew...
Undergraduatehollykey97 - Sep 27, 2015 / justivy03 - Oct 3, 2015
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