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|Hospitality management - Yet another FSU undergraduate admisssions essay
1 - Can you help me with mechanical and grammatical errors, please! The guiding words to Florida State University, "Vires,...
UndergraduateBrynnD - Sep 8, 2008 / — -
|'Have values and individuality' - Florida State (Vires, Artes, Mores)
2 - Nice work! Only a few mechanical corrections, and your content is very well thought out and organized. Your essay...
Undergraduatetheblackmaria6 - Sep 8, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 8, 2008
|Florida State's motto - completed FSU essay...
4 - You posted this essay and I edited that one for you as well. This is why multiple postings of...
Undergraduatesgcomas - Sep 7, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 8, 2008
|'senior year was supposed to be easy' - ucf essay - bump in the raod
Undergraduatevirgo66 - Sep 7, 2008 / virgo66 - Sep 7, 2008
|How should i describe how this value is reflected in my life - admission FL
Undergraduatecollegeicntwait - Sep 7, 2008 / collegeicntwait - Sep 7, 2008
|Uf essay about me and my friend Rodrigo.
3 - Although I have been a Christian for over a year now, the thought of arriving as a newcomer filled...
Undergraduatejlcisternas - Sep 7, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 7, 2008
|'working at Dunkin' Donuts' - commonapp essay
1 - I literally just finished this and condensed it to exactly 500 words. It was originally 650ish words--do you think...
Undergraduatejessmel - Sep 7, 2008 / — -
|'ehad, shtayim' / 'I am a Jewban' - two essays... which one do I use?
2 - Good evening. I really like the second essay better. It speaks of similarities and differences, and shows that...
UndergraduateAlexandraSusi - Sep 7, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 7, 2008
|Breast cancer walks and research - vires, mortes essay
Undergraduatelidlmissblonde - Sep 7, 2008 / — -
|'Great ride, my high school career' - FSU essay..advice, edit
1 - My high school career has been a great ride. Those years are years I will never forget no matter...
UndergraduateBrianOchuko - Sep 6, 2008 / — -
|'Helping a woman' - an event that has changed your life - app essay
UndergraduateDantheman100 - Sep 6, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 6, 2008
|"Objection Overruled" - Elaborate on one of your extracurricular activites.
2 - Depending on your word count restrictions, you could talk a little bit more about why it is you choose...
UndergraduateDantheman100 - Sep 6, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 6, 2008
|Working not only gave me a paycheck, but it allowed me greater independence. Extracurricular essay
Undergraduatejenrik2714 - Sep 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 6, 2008
|"Doctor's passion" - UF, meaningful event
3 - Wow, thank you for the corrections! I appreciate the time you put into correcting this... you all are wonderful...
Undergraduatekola - Aug 20, 2008 / kola - Sep 6, 2008
|Stonewall riots -how a historical event has impacted you - English 101
2 - Good afternoon. It sounds like your professor wants something of a personal impact essay. Has the Stonewall riot...
Undergraduatenickatron - Sep 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 5, 2008
|The world of design; M.Arch Statement of Purpose
2 - Good afternoon. A statement of purpose is generally designed to give you the opportunity to tell the admissions...
Undergraduateklmoyn - Sep 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 5, 2008
|UCF - 'Accepting the challenge' - bump in the road, explain circumstances
2 - Good job. This is an unusual subject to answer this question with, which makes it stand out; this is...
Undergraduatedlb1670 - Sep 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 5, 2008
|"One should never stop learning" / KOREAN ART- US college app
1 - "One should never, never, never stop learning" I used to hear of it during entire of my life time...
UndergraduateShin80 - Sep 4, 2008 / — -
|'favorite art class' - College of Lake County - My application essay
3 - Thank you so much Your suggestions on my essay was excellent you are so kind I thank you again...
Undergraduatekye009 - Sep 4, 2008 / kye009 - Sep 4, 2008
|past year of school - admission essay
1 - "In this past year of high school, many things have taken place and they have changed me for the...
Undergraduatedlvspw08 - Sep 3, 2008 / — -
|'Colombia and the efforts of my parents' Meaningful event, experience, etc.-Narrative
3 - I believe there is one error, a comma in your first paragraph. I think you have answered the prompt...
UndergraduateNena011 - Sep 2, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 3, 2008
|STOP HURTING YOURSELF; FSU essay - "Vires, Artes, Mores"
1 - Please tell me what you think. Please be brutal and blunt, this whole essay thing is making me very...
Undergraduatenicextoxnoxyou - Sep 3, 2008 / — -
|Digital Film making & Video Production ; Career goals/ Education@AI
Undergraduatejabbajuice - Sep 2, 2008 / — -
|Hingham, the meadow; Meaning of MY NAME
4 - Good Afternoon Gloria. Yesterday my friends and I read an English book and it showed us how to...
Undergraduatebiggirl - Sep 2, 2008 / biggirl - Sep 2, 2008
|Family history, culture, or environment influenced - essay admissions
1 - How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are? As I came helplessly out of...
Undergraduatekuk1234 - Sep 2, 2008 / — -
|"yes Sir and no Sir" - UCF. How has your environment influenced who you are?
1 - Is this what admission officers are looking for? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! As I pulled into...
Undergraduatedlb1670 - Sep 2, 2008 / — -
|UF about my father and ulcerative colitis
Undergraduatebailey - Aug 31, 2008 / bailey - Sep 1, 2008
|'Each of them applied to me' - FSU admission essay
3 - Good evening. I looked at the second essay and edited it here because your editing process is ...
Undergraduatetgn15 - Aug 30, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 31, 2008
|'Towards studying pharmacy' - concise narrative - Undergrad Admission essay
4 - I really like the second, revised essay. It is much more descriptive and your personal energy is showcased very...
Undergraduatemary - Aug 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 31, 2008
|the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" - Florida State University
1 - Please review my essay for both content and technical errors. Thanks so much for your help! Essay Prompt:...
Undergraduatemnowak17 - Aug 31, 2008 / — -
|'An Erases' Essay for Early Decision to Cornell Uni
1 - Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community, of school - and tell us...
UndergraduateWabbit - Aug 29, 2008 / — -
|'academic studies is a pleasure, not a chore' - UF, meaningful event
1 - Please review my essay and give me suggestions on how to improve it... I also think my last paragraph...
Undergraduatewhitmire09 - Aug 26, 2008 / — -
|'A problem solving person' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
1 - I am glad i found this site; it seems pretty helpful. Please let me know what you guys think....
Undergraduateextremedew - Aug 26, 2008 / — -
|Family history, culture, environment influence - UCF essay
2 - okay here is a more revised version. take the liberty to change it, expand it, and organize it better....
Undergraduatejasonw - Aug 25, 2008 / jasonw - Aug 26, 2008
|Unique qualities - UCF essay; I am loyal, dependable, and hard-working
2 - Good job. Just a few mechanical errors, but I do like the ending much better. Keep up the nice...
Undergraduatesportzgrrrl - Aug 24, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 25, 2008
|STAGE,Excite staff; UF admission - Experience, event, possible contributions, etc.
2 - Your first and second paragraphs are not very well connected. I am unsure if in the first paragraph you...
Undergraduateseniors09 - Aug 23, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 23, 2008
|'Healthcare Documentation Integrity' - essay for admission into an Art School
UndergraduateKWM - Aug 10, 2008 / KWM - Aug 22, 2008
|'Forget the presence and look at the future' - another FSU admissions essay
2 - Good job. Your essay is very confident and spirited. You explain clearly why this motto applies to you and...
UndergraduateRunyen - Aug 21, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 21, 2008
|'Computer discovery' - essay for acceptance in Computer related field
1 - [current date aligned to right] [my name aligned to left] [my address aligned to left] Title: How...
Undergraduatepenner - Aug 21, 2008 / — -
|'Introducted to Jesus Christ' / 'Varsity soccer' - where you come from and your world
UndergraduateFor3v3r - Aug 20, 2008 / — -
|LOOSING THE BEST FRIEND- Life obstacle!
Undergraduatebeebee - Aug 19, 2008 / beebee - Aug 20, 2008
|"changing experiance" UF admission essay
UndergraduateDiiyah - Aug 18, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 19, 2008
|'My popularity' - college experience, your contribution UF admission essay
5 - As I stated before, your focus should be on your thoughts and feelings after the scare. Remove as much...
Undergraduatedman0227 - Aug 6, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 18, 2008
|'medicine and future hard work' - essay (with star wars), applying to pre-med
Undergraduatetorchamp - Aug 9, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 18, 2008
|'her husband, my father, has died' - UF - meaningful event
UndergraduateBrianOchuko - Aug 16, 2008 / — -
|"Jennifer Lim" - College Application Essay
1 - I was just starting fourth grade when I met Jennifer Lim. Then, I had just moved to the Philippines...
Undergraduateop2607 - Aug 16, 2008 / — -
|'A dream come true' - Vires, Artes, Mores - FSU admissions essay
2 - I believe that it is. You explain how these values have impacted your life, and how you interpret them....
Undergraduatezaz - Aug 13, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 14, 2008
|'the barracades blocking' - FSU Admissions Virfes, Artes, Mores
2 - You've got a good start here, and some opportunities where you can expand upon how these values have impacted...
Undergraduateoliviasimon - Aug 13, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 14, 2008
|'How could I have Epilepsy' - FSU admissions essay:
6 - I agree with you; the second one is more focused and thus more appropriate. I was fortunate enough...
Undergraduatecollege_girl - Aug 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 13, 2008
|'The Youngest' - Question about main common app essay.
Undergraduatewwr - Aug 12, 2008 / wwr - Aug 12, 2008
|"Yes, Your Honor" - College Essay for Common Application
8 - OK, so you've been writing in a passive voice. For instance: "Until I joined the Long Island City...
Undergraduateiyagabre91 - Aug 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 12, 2008
|Do you think that you are going to be successful business in the future?
2 - You meaning was not clear at many points in this essay, so if my corrections are not what you...
Undergraduatezoh - Aug 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 11, 2008
|Essay about what I want to apply for (University of Central Florida)
2 - It would be good to mention what program you are interested in enrolling in, what career path you would...
Undergraduatenikkixoo - Aug 8, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 9, 2008
|HELPING OTHERS; Past and future goals and decisions
Undergraduatecarolina24 - Aug 6, 2008 / carolina24 - Aug 8, 2008
|Qualities and Characteristics: Independence, drive, and leadership
1 - Independence, drive, and leadership; three important qualities that can help any person when living a life away from home....
Undergraduatenikkixoo - Aug 7, 2008 / — -
|Coach David glanced at me; Person who had a significant influence on me
3 - This is much better. There are more details and it flows more fluidly. "At the beginning of the...
Undergraduatejasonwiesenthal - Aug 1, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 6, 2008
|'helping Grandpa Bernie' - event, experience, accomplishment in life - UF
2 - Good morning. Your essay is very moving. You are very descriptive, but not overwhelmingly so. It is relevant...
Undergraduatejasonwiesenthal - Aug 1, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Aug 1, 2008
|'Hope for jobs, mentoring and learning opportunities' - Why did I choose to aply to UCF?
1 - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? I choose to apply to University of Central Florida because...
Undergraduatejasonwiesenthal - Aug 1, 2008 / — -
|"EXPERIENCES THAT HELPED YOU DEFINE AS A PERSON" COLLEGE ADMISSION ESSAY.
1 - I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU'D HELP ME WITH MY ESSAY. THANKS! :D Being the youngest in the family,...
Undergraduatemynameisjoy - Aug 1, 2008 / — -
|Valuable knowledge/ Socializing - UC Prompt # 2 Essay.
1 - I gained valuable knowledge of the ways how human societies relate to each other and to the planet that...
UndergraduateAries - Jul 31, 2008 / — -
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