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|mistakes in foreign policy and planning - admission essay
NEW - Discuss a cultural, social, political, or intellectual topic that you have explored beyond school and explain how it has...
Undergraduatejasonwiesenthal - Oct 29, 2008 / — -
|150 words short answers, my goal and perseverance
2 - I am assuming you are seeking technical assistance: The comma after "time" should be removed and "disagreeably" should...
Undergraduatelikeyapper - Oct 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|very short essay- family opbligations
2 - I'm assuming you are seeking technical assistance: First, make sure that if you use a period the first...
Undergraduatelecokr - Oct 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|Short answer - should it be merely descriptive?
2 - Good afternoon. The content of pieces like these are pretty much up to you. Choose something that will...
UndergraduateNaj127 - Oct 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|A new program to promote peace in our school -memorable experience...
NEW - A. Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has special meaning to you. I was sitting at the...
Undergraduateroger chavez - Oct 29, 2008 / — -
|My grandmother - Uf admission essay; 'I have always idolized my grandmother'
2 - Good afternoon. "citizen" should be capitalized, as it is a proper noun in this case. Avoid using...
Undergraduatesuraju91 - Oct 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|My parents receiving Citizenship of the USA - Admissions Essay
2 - ... of America was particularly moving and inspirational to me. Please see my comments as to mechanical errors in...
UndergraduateMIKERAND - Oct 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|the horror of my dreaded alarm clock - Common App Essay
2 - Good afternoon. First, a few mechanical comments. 1. Avoid using contractions in your academic writing as they...
Undergraduateazianpinoy - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|PSU Schreyers Honors Essay. NEED HELP
2 - Good afternoon. Mechanically, watch your use of excessive and inappropriate use of commas. Perhaps a quick refresher on...
Undergraduatejusanglee91 - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|Duquesne University essay; You never know what event in your life is going to change your life.
UndergraduateSturz15 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|Doodles - Undergrad Admission Essay for Cornell....not finished yet!
2 - Good afternoon. Just a couple of thoughts. First, avoid contractions in your formal academic writing, as they...
Undergraduatespazzed_azn - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|Going to a public school - uf essay
2 - "Removed; this is too much background that really doesn't have anything to do with the rest of your piece....
Undergraduateccw_20 - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|U of Miami Getting Started on inspiration
2 - Good afternoon. A couple of mechanical suggestions. First, avoid contractions in formal academic writing, as they are inappropriate....
Undergraduateroger chavez - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 29, 2008
|Rutger undergraduate essay - learning throughout life
Undergraduaterock07081 - Oct 29, 2008 / — -
|I'm from Hong-Kong - common app essay!
Undergraduateflickeringlight - Oct 28, 2008 / Devotion - Oct 29, 2008
|School of Visual Arta - statement of intent
NEW - hello!! here is my statement of intent for the School of Visual Arts. I was wondering if you could...
UndergraduateGuinny - Oct 29, 2008 / — -
|Learning from failure - CommonApp essay
7 - Oh, thanks! I didn't catch that! And I was wondering about the naive thing, too. I wasn't sure...
Undergraduatedocument1 - Oct 26, 2008 / document1 - Oct 28, 2008
|University of Pennsylvania: most interest you / favorite Penn professor
2 - Good afternoon. First, a few mechanical concerns. Make sure you are only capitalizing proper nouns and the...
UndergraduateAleksey - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|'the gruesome scene in summer' - Life Experience Common App. Essay
2 - Excellent essay. Very organized, good flow, very descriptive. You stay on topic and answer the prompt very well. You...
UndergraduateAleksey - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|My research project Common APP 150 words extra-curricular commitment
2 - Good afternoon. It is probably this browser, but I can't tell what is at the beginning of the...
Undergraduatecloudone - Oct 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|Why I applied to Molloy - I need some help with my admission essay
2 - Good afternoon. I would discuss the specific aspects of Molloy that drew you to it. What is it...
Undergraduatennelson07 - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|Our volleyball team - Short Answer on Common App
2 - I think this is a good response to the short answer prompt. It is difficult to make an impact...
Undergraduatelinzroz18 - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|Penn Admissions Essay - having a hard time finishing ..
Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|How will college ed. help you achieve personal+professional goals? [Purdue]
8 - You're very welcome. Sure. "House Captain," "Annual Day, Sports Day," Computer Engineering." It's really up to you...
Undergraduatemrhohoha - Oct 22, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|holding my flute tightly - Common App: elaborate your activity
4 - Thanks for advices, I really appreciated them. I wrote my essay again but I'm still not sure whether I'm...
Undergraduateahpahf723 - Oct 27, 2008 / ahpahf723 - Oct 28, 2008
|Drawing Guinness - 150 words or less work experience (common app)
6 - Good evening. It's really up to the admissions board. Some times they won't even consider something that exceeds...
Undergraduatelburgess88 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|I owe everything to my family - it has greatly influenced who I am today. UCF essay
Undergraduatefawnbolak591 - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|Two children / Orlando Knight - Two UCF essays
2 - Good evening. You've got two good pieces here, so I'm going to give you some suggestions to help...
Undergraduatesaragreen - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|My Exchange Year--elaborate on one of your activities
2 - I like the conclusion of this piece, but I'm not sure the beginning and middle match it. For instance,...
Undergraduategracetm - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|My beloved island of Puerto Rico - UF Admission Essay
4 - Yes, I was originally leaning more towards the first one too. Thank you so much for your time!...
Undergraduatejessyalm - Oct 26, 2008 / jessyalm - Oct 27, 2008
|Ramapo Essay - React to a crisis or critical moment in your life...
5 - You're very welcome. I don't think writing a new piece is necessary, just add a little bit more to...
Undergraduatexf0olishf0ry0u - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|Passion for the sport of basketball - UF - Admissions Essay
NEW - TOPIC: Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college...
UndergraduateMIKERAND - Oct 27, 2008 / — -
|Parkour, Short Answer- 150 Words>
UndergraduateJSFlash - Oct 26, 2008 / JSFlash - Oct 27, 2008
|"I love to deal with numbers" ..Another GTown essay..
4 - Good afternoon. Much more organized. I have a few corrections in the last paragraph though: "The third...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|I love music and sports; A High-Tech Forte - U of I essay
9 - Again, with some fine tuning in regards to the specifics of this prompt, this piece would be a good...
UndergraduateBeast53 - Oct 20, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|"Do you play basketball?" - Trying to get into UF.
5 - Once again, you are amazing. : P Once implementing your revisions, I will submit my essay and my application...
UndergraduateAutogazim - Oct 21, 2008 / Autogazim - Oct 27, 2008
|Music, a new way to communicate and relate - Commonapp essay
NEW - Hope that members and moderators could critique my essay. Thanks in advance. "Beautiful..." an evocative word whispered, soft...
Undergraduatecloudone - Oct 27, 2008 / — -
|'no longer felt like a foreigner' - a setback you have faced - UMich and Purdue
NEW - Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If...
UndergraduateBeast53 - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|The problem of balancing family priorities and education -Admissions Essay
UndergraduateZatt - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|our sixth loss in a row - Common App. 150 word short answer.
NEW - 150 words exactly. Our football team had just suffered our sixth loss in a row. A winning season...
Undergraduatederricktv - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|I have faced many obstacles to overcome - Personal Statement
NEW - Below is my personal statement for admission to UCF. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks! Personal Statement: ...
Undergraduatexlogan7 - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|'How much does the Smokey Jack's Burger cost me?' Dissect my essay... ED to UPenn
Undergraduatelikaitai - Oct 26, 2008 / likaitai - Oct 26, 2008
|Significant school activity
NEW - Discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved. ...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|"more valuable than winning a contest" - a significant experience, its impact on you
7 - Well, go through it carefully and look for things such as "can't" and "won't." If you see any of...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity My UF admissions essay
5 - You're very welcome. An admissions board is looking for a bit more than an one-liner as to how this...
Undergraduatemimi101 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|UF Admissions Essay - Overcoming Rejection
2 - I am concerned that the second half of the prompt is not addressed in your essay. You've done a...
Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|the activites you mentioned - Short Answer Common App
2 - There is so much emphasis placed on kids getting involved in sports that people overlook the importance of the...
Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 26, 2008 / Chink - Oct 26, 2008
|Mock Trial - 250+ common app essay any revisions would be a great help
2 - Good afternoon :) This is a good subject for this type of essay. Mechanically, make sure you are...
Undergraduategokhalea09 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|Marlboro First Aid Squad/ Real parental Support/ Goal; RUTGERS U- 3Essays
2 - Good afternoon. In regards to the first essay, it seems that your point is that one must allow...
Undergraduateto91 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|UPenn, why Penn essay 1 page, need input applying ED
NEW - Hi I need some help with the Why Upenn essay, the actualy question is. Describe your course of study...
Undergraduatelorinajdzin - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|Question- Evaluate the influence your family has had on you.
3 - Wow. I am really surprised you think my essay is that great. You really lifted a huge amount of...
Undergraduatenikokoskinas - Oct 26, 2008 / nikokoskinas - Oct 26, 2008
|'being dismissed from class' - Emory University Supplement
2 - Good morning. A couple of suggestions: "One needs to imagine oneself at the..." Since you stayed...
Undergraduatesreekar - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|my mother made a decision that would change my life forever - admission UF
5 - thank you!...
Undergraduatejellison09 - Oct 20, 2008 / jellison09 - Oct 26, 2008
|Guzheng (Chinese Zither) - Commonapp short answer, revision
NEW - Please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer). Here is...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|Georgetown question: disscussion of "Significance"
3 - I just finished an essay responding to this prompt. Now I'm pretty sure I have got way off the...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / Echo - Oct 26, 2008
|Brown Early Decision Essay-any advice and constructive criticism welcome
UndergraduateScannerDarkly - Oct 25, 2008 / ScannerDarkly - Oct 26, 2008
|Interest in math and science essay...caltech
3 - Thank you for your time! It's been really really helpful. One more essay sometime tomorrow, and I'll be done!...
Undergraduatejangoc44 - Oct 26, 2008 / jangoc44 - Oct 26, 2008
|150 Word essay about violin learning is 154
2 - Good evening. Mechanically and grammatically the piece is clean; the paragraphs are well structured and nicely organized. You...
Undergraduategokhalea09 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|Finding the college of my dreams is not a simple task; why transfer?
2 - Good evening. I think your response is truthful while still being respectful, a very good response to their...
Undergraduatelburgess88 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|MIT World I come from essay - a whirlwind of emotions and cultures
2 - My first encounter with change was at age four. Born and brought up in Nagoya, Japan, I learned the...
Undergraduatejangoc44 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
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