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|How will college ed. help you achieve personal+professional goals? [Purdue]
8 - You're very welcome. Sure. "House Captain," "Annual Day, Sports Day," Computer Engineering." It's really up to you...
Undergraduatemrhohoha - Oct 22, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 28, 2008
|holding my flute tightly - Common App: elaborate your activity
4 - Thanks for advices, I really appreciated them. I wrote my essay again but I'm still not sure whether I'm...
Undergraduateahpahf723 - Oct 27, 2008 / ahpahf723 - Oct 28, 2008
|Drawing Guinness - 150 words or less work experience (common app)
6 - Good evening. It's really up to the admissions board. Some times they won't even consider something that exceeds...
Undergraduatelburgess88 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|I owe everything to my family - it has greatly influenced who I am today. UCF essay
Undergraduatefawnbolak591 - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|Two children / Orlando Knight - Two UCF essays
2 - Good evening. You've got two good pieces here, so I'm going to give you some suggestions to help...
Undergraduatesaragreen - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|My Exchange Year--elaborate on one of your activities
2 - I like the conclusion of this piece, but I'm not sure the beginning and middle match it. For instance,...
Undergraduategracetm - Oct 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|My beloved island of Puerto Rico - UF Admission Essay
4 - Yes, I was originally leaning more towards the first one too. Thank you so much for your time!...
Undergraduatejessyalm - Oct 26, 2008 / jessyalm - Oct 27, 2008
|Ramapo Essay - React to a crisis or critical moment in your life...
5 - You're very welcome. I don't think writing a new piece is necessary, just add a little bit more to...
Undergraduatexf0olishf0ry0u - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|Passion for the sport of basketball - UF - Admissions Essay
NEW - TOPIC: Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college...
UndergraduateMIKERAND - Oct 27, 2008 / — -
|Parkour, Short Answer- 150 Words>
UndergraduateJSFlash - Oct 26, 2008 / JSFlash - Oct 27, 2008
|"I love to deal with numbers" ..Another GTown essay..
4 - Good afternoon. Much more organized. I have a few corrections in the last paragraph though: "The third...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|I love music and sports; A High-Tech Forte - U of I essay
9 - Again, with some fine tuning in regards to the specifics of this prompt, this piece would be a good...
UndergraduateBeast53 - Oct 20, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 27, 2008
|"Do you play basketball?" - Trying to get into UF.
5 - Once again, you are amazing. : P Once implementing your revisions, I will submit my essay and my application...
UndergraduateAutogazim - Oct 21, 2008 / Autogazim - Oct 27, 2008
|Music, a new way to communicate and relate - Commonapp essay
NEW - Hope that members and moderators could critique my essay. Thanks in advance. "Beautiful..." an evocative word whispered, soft...
Undergraduatecloudone - Oct 27, 2008 / — -
|'no longer felt like a foreigner' - a setback you have faced - UMich and Purdue
NEW - Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If...
UndergraduateBeast53 - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|The problem of balancing family priorities and education -Admissions Essay
UndergraduateZatt - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|our sixth loss in a row - Common App. 150 word short answer.
NEW - 150 words exactly. Our football team had just suffered our sixth loss in a row. A winning season...
Undergraduatederricktv - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|I have faced many obstacles to overcome - Personal Statement
NEW - Below is my personal statement for admission to UCF. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks! Personal Statement: ...
Undergraduatexlogan7 - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|'How much does the Smokey Jack's Burger cost me?' Dissect my essay... ED to UPenn
Undergraduatelikaitai - Oct 26, 2008 / likaitai - Oct 26, 2008
|Significant school activity
NEW - Discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved. ...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|"more valuable than winning a contest" - a significant experience, its impact on you
7 - Well, go through it carefully and look for things such as "can't" and "won't." If you see any of...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity My UF admissions essay
5 - You're very welcome. An admissions board is looking for a bit more than an one-liner as to how this...
Undergraduatemimi101 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|UF Admissions Essay - Overcoming Rejection
2 - I am concerned that the second half of the prompt is not addressed in your essay. You've done a...
Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|the activites you mentioned - Short Answer Common App
2 - There is so much emphasis placed on kids getting involved in sports that people overlook the importance of the...
Undergraduatex3racha3l - Oct 26, 2008 / Chink - Oct 26, 2008
|Mock Trial - 250+ common app essay any revisions would be a great help
2 - Good afternoon :) This is a good subject for this type of essay. Mechanically, make sure you are...
Undergraduategokhalea09 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|Marlboro First Aid Squad/ Real parental Support/ Goal; RUTGERS U- 3Essays
2 - Good afternoon. In regards to the first essay, it seems that your point is that one must allow...
Undergraduateto91 - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|UPenn, why Penn essay 1 page, need input applying ED
NEW - Hi I need some help with the Why Upenn essay, the actualy question is. Describe your course of study...
Undergraduatelorinajdzin - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|Question- Evaluate the influence your family has had on you.
3 - Wow. I am really surprised you think my essay is that great. You really lifted a huge amount of...
Undergraduatenikokoskinas - Oct 26, 2008 / nikokoskinas - Oct 26, 2008
|'being dismissed from class' - Emory University Supplement
2 - Good morning. A couple of suggestions: "One needs to imagine oneself at the..." Since you stayed...
Undergraduatesreekar - Oct 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|my mother made a decision that would change my life forever - admission UF
5 - thank you!...
Undergraduatejellison09 - Oct 20, 2008 / jellison09 - Oct 26, 2008
|Guzheng (Chinese Zither) - Commonapp short answer, revision
NEW - Please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer). Here is...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / — -
|Georgetown question: disscussion of "Significance"
3 - I just finished an essay responding to this prompt. Now I'm pretty sure I have got way off the...
UndergraduateEcho - Oct 26, 2008 / Echo - Oct 26, 2008
|Brown Early Decision Essay-any advice and constructive criticism welcome
UndergraduateScannerDarkly - Oct 25, 2008 / ScannerDarkly - Oct 26, 2008
|Interest in math and science essay...caltech
3 - Thank you for your time! It's been really really helpful. One more essay sometime tomorrow, and I'll be done!...
Undergraduatejangoc44 - Oct 26, 2008 / jangoc44 - Oct 26, 2008
|150 Word essay about violin learning is 154
2 - Good evening. Mechanically and grammatically the piece is clean; the paragraphs are well structured and nicely organized. You...
Undergraduategokhalea09 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|Finding the college of my dreams is not a simple task; why transfer?
2 - Good evening. I think your response is truthful while still being respectful, a very good response to their...
Undergraduatelburgess88 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|MIT World I come from essay - a whirlwind of emotions and cultures
2 - My first encounter with change was at age four. Born and brought up in Nagoya, Japan, I learned the...
Undergraduatejangoc44 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|"favorite quotation from an essay or book" - Princetone University (needs revision)
UndergraduateTLaw88 - Oct 18, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|'Tears falling from eyes' - common--personal essay: my own topic
2 - "...often say this to awaken us students. I would then look more closely on the music piece in an...
Undergraduateahpahf723 - Oct 25, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 26, 2008
|Mrs. Lois Hirshkowitz, my principle for nine years; Inspirational Figures
NEW - hii!! here is another essay that i wrote that i was wondering if needs some revision and correction.. the...
UndergraduateTLaw88 - Oct 25, 2008 / — -
|Thanksgiving experience, the coming of fall - Common essay
NEW - Please give your comments on this common essay Thanksgiving experience When I sit by the window and...
Undergraduatesamamani1965 - Oct 25, 2008 / — -
|Key Club international; Extracurricular Short Essay (COMMON APP)
2 - "As an officer of Key Club international, I learned integrity and compromise . Integrity is always with me, except...
Undergraduateshc4ever - Oct 24, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 24, 2008
|my first two years of high school - Another UF Essay
2 - Good afternoon. This is an excellent essay. Mechanically it is clean; it is well organized, with tightly structured...
UndergraduateLiist - Oct 23, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 24, 2008
|I was ranked 1,569 in Maharashtra; Personal Statement - Physics&Math
6 - Good afternoon. I hope, as Sarah suggested, that you have read the terms of service for the site,...
Undergraduatemerocksjigar - Feb 11, 2007 / EF_Team5 - Oct 24, 2008
|Sunflower-yellow rice,green peas,red peppfood&black shells of mussels; Culture UC
2 - Good afternoon. I really like your essay, but it is somewhat disconnected. I am not sure what the...
Undergraduatevivalamariani51 - Oct 23, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 23, 2008
|PS for Common App: Breaking Out. or cont. father's influence on me
2 - Good afternoon. I think your first essay is a good one. It's a good story that illustrates your...
Undergraduatejamieex - Oct 23, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 23, 2008
|Encounter with myself; Florida State University - "Vires, Artes, Mores"
NEW - For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State...
Undergraduateroger chavez - Oct 23, 2008 / — -
|Essay to gain sponsorship for Honours degree in Business Studies
UndergraduateTizzy - Oct 23, 2008 / Tizzy - Oct 23, 2008
|Short Essay Answers: Books, Interests, Why Occidental
2 - Good morning. Just a couple of mechanical corrections, all to do with capitalization. Remember to only capitalize proper...
Undergraduatedocument1 - Oct 23, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 23, 2008
|situations that were extremely challenging to overcome - UF admission
NEW - Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or...
UndergraduateIgnacio1407 - Oct 22, 2008 / — -
|Working for My Family's Business - UF application essay
3 - Good morning :) Mechanically, I do have a few suggestions. First, make sure you are capitalizing only proper...
Undergraduatenicolle18 - Oct 21, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 22, 2008
|Extracurricular activities; MECD organization in Nicaragua
Undergraduatermdc25 - Oct 21, 2008 / rmdc25 - Oct 22, 2008
|Our families have a major influence on who we are as a person - UCF essay!
Undergraduatexoxoheartx3 - Oct 20, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 22, 2008
|illness had most profound effect upon my life- UConn
NEW - - Describe a person or event that has had a profound effect upon your life. I immigrated to...
Undergraduatembhong - Oct 21, 2008 / — -
|Common app answer "Elaborate on one activity": the Bible Study teacher
NEW - Hello, I need help on the commonapp short answer(see title for prompt) I'm not sure if mine is in...
Undergraduateluv4evr - Oct 21, 2008 / — -
|Giving back: College Essay- Common App and Direct School Application
NEW - Forum, I would like to use this essay for the Common App (...experience impacts your life) as well as...
Undergraduatemscott - Oct 21, 2008 / — -
|The Confidence Stone - Personal Statement!
NEW - The Confidence Stone It is well known that stones are hard and lasting, but have you heard of...
Undergraduatehelenalqy - Oct 20, 2008 / — -
|most noticeable are of my body when I was born - UC Prompt
NEW - i need help on grammar and structure of my essay. and also is my essay kind of offtopic, because...
Undergraduatesteph - Oct 20, 2008 / — -
|I have wanted to attend The University of C Florida - Personal statement.
3 - Thank you so much for your time and suggestions! I will work on expanding the areas you mentioned and...
Undergraduatebjervis - Oct 19, 2008 / bjervis - Oct 20, 2008
|"awakened to Lonnie Liston Smith's 'A Gift of Love'" - UF Entrance Essay
Undergraduatehazardouz10 - Oct 19, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 20, 2008
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