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|Intern in Washington D.C under Congressman Duncan Hunter - Common App Essay
2 - You've got a good subject idea here; this is obviously an experience that has made an impact on you....
Undergraduateprivater_ryan - Oct 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 6, 2008
|"Dance is what I love to do" - Vires, Artes, Mores
2 - You do need a conclusion here to wrap this essay up; something to connect the end with the beginning,...
Undergraduateskrocki09 - Oct 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 6, 2008
|Jigsaw puzzles / Singaporean experience - Diversity Essays
5 - Sure; I think the flow of the two essays is fine, as well as the transitions between paragraphs. Both...
Undergraduatekids_jessy - Oct 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 6, 2008
|Cross-country / Nano Research Facility - one of your activities Help
NEW - In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words...
Undergraduateprivater_ryan - Oct 5, 2008 / — -
|Moved from California to a humid town in Mississippi - UF Essay
NEW - I moved from a sunny city in California to a humid town in Mississippi when I was the awkward...
Undergraduatejkrusemark1 - Oct 5, 2008 / — -
|FSU-"Vires, Artes, Mores": have found these balanced within my life
NEW - "Vires, Artes, Mores" or "Strength, Skill, Character" has been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State Seminoles for over one...
UndergraduateJayDMDM09 - Oct 5, 2008 / — -
|Growing up in Miami - multicultural "Melting Pot" - UF college essay
2 - I have done community service in a few tourist locations, Monkey Jungle for one, and I observed numerous new...
UndergraduateAngelinaaa - Oct 5, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 5, 2008
|Winter break in my sophomore year / Ronald Regan - UF Admissions essay
Undergraduateandii1018 - Oct 5, 2008 / — -
|Nameless Girl - An essay about someone who has made an impact on...
12 - calend4r, I agree; it's much nicer when we've got the whole picture. Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com...
Undergraduateeric0060 - Sep 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 5, 2008
|"I spent 5 years in prison" - Experience that is meaningful for me
2 - Great essay. Be careful of the format of your dialogue; each speaker gets his/her own line; that's how your...
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Oct 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 5, 2008
|outside of the bubble that I live,good choice of topic and first paragraph?
2 - Good morning. I think this is a very good topic choice and your introductory paragraph lays the groundwork...
Undergraduatebully - Oct 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 5, 2008
|Victoria Junior College "Talents & Achievements" Section
NEW - In not more than 300 words, describe the talents and skills you have which you think set you apart...
Undergraduateabbiebubble - Oct 5, 2008 / — -
|my ability to do a wide variety of things successfully - UCF Essays
NEW - These are my first admission essays so I could really use some help. Thanks. 4.What qualities or unique...
UndergraduatePadave - Oct 4, 2008 / — -
|Qualities or unique characteristics do you possess. Not only fingerprints..
3 - Thank you for your corrections and comments. It means a lot to me that you liked it. Thank you....
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Oct 4, 2008 / 4ever2bleed - Oct 4, 2008
|The hardworking and successful person - UCF application
NEW - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? "The University of Central Florida is one of the best universities...
Undergraduatejthehawkman699 - Oct 4, 2008 / — -
|'enthusiastic, mature, hardworking individual' - my personal statement on my cv
2 - Good afternoon. What is the prompt/requirements for this essay? Thank you. Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com...
UndergraduateAngel123456 - Oct 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 4, 2008
|Boston University Essay - I have always dreamed abou this school
2 - Good afternoon. Please see my grammatical and mechanical comments on the Carnegie Mellon essay, because the same issues...
Undergraduatemihirmj - Oct 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 4, 2008
|Top Rank, Medicine, Infrastructure; why I have chosen Carnegie Mellon?
2 - This reads like a one-page ad for the university. While singing the praises of your school of choice is...
Undergraduatemihirmj - Oct 4, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 4, 2008
|"Soprano, alto, tenor, bass!" - Davidson Essay (for Common App)
NEW - I am using the Common App for Davidson College, and my essay topic is choice #1 (Identify a significant...
Undergraduatebhangra369 - Oct 3, 2008 / — -
|"my mother couldn't support all of us financially" - Obstacles in my life
NEW - Please describe in detail you have faced in your life. If your adversity is strictly financial need, please describe...
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Oct 3, 2008 / — -
|Common App Writing - local baseball field crew membership
2 - I think this is a very honest and honorable essay. You describe what you have done and how you...
Undergraduatebully - Oct 2, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 2, 2008
|The World I Come From - College required essay
3 - It is where discovery and logic are tools waged to create understanding. I reside at the nexus of these...
UndergraduateJustJoshinbyJ - Oct 2, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 2, 2008
|FU essay - people could just let their lives fall to piece
UndergraduateInvidious - Oct 2, 2008 / — -
|"I have never had a musical bone in my body" - common app essay
6 - You are right, and while "I" did not write the paper, "I" do not know what the prompt/requirements were,...
Undergraduateupa - Sep 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 2, 2008
|Helping people is my passion ; NEOUCOM - what would you contribute?
UndergraduateSchoubey - Sep 30, 2008 / Schoubey - Oct 1, 2008
|"the horrible quasi-suicide incident"; /Common App
2 - Excellent essay. Grammatically and mechanically pretty clean, and your point is very poignantly made. It flows well, is organized,...
UndergraduateWankmaster - Oct 1, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 1, 2008
|"I am unique" - UCF admission; UCF community
3 - erotondo09 has a good point; you could leave the sentence as "I will do everything in my pwoer to...
UndergraduateYellowRoses - Sep 22, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 1, 2008
|"I have been in that very arena many times" - FSU admissions essay
3 - It is absolutely a good thing. The more secure and confident you are in your writing, the more confident...
Undergraduatepnkpolkadottz - Sep 30, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 1, 2008
|Stanford - not believing in evolution
NEW - I also wanted some advice on the supplement essays for stanford for the first question: Stanford students are...
Undergraduateupa - Oct 1, 2008 / — -
|'Neal bhai' - your activities (150 words or less) common app
4 - It's a great essay, but the question says 'elaborate'. It tells a nice story but doesn't actually tell what...
Undergraduatekotak07 - Sep 27, 2008 / j4ckieee - Sep 30, 2008
|Will take great pride in wearing the garnet and gold - FSU admissions essay
NEW - For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State...
Undergraduatecaneslax - Sep 30, 2008 / — -
|Narrative Essay about a personal experience in which impacted your life
5 - Good afternoon. The essay is currently successfully written in present tense. The times when you are thinking back...
UndergraduateFissionMailed - Sep 29, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 30, 2008
|"The Melting Pot" - Common app Main essay
Undergraduatealeinad - Sep 28, 2008 / aleinad - Sep 30, 2008
|I love the campus, student life, and school - UCF essays
NEW - No longer than 500 words or a total of 7000 characters for both statements. How has your family...
Undergraduateashcakes - Sep 30, 2008 / — -
|"Project Big Dipper changed my mindset" - Common apps short question
Undergraduatewongxy - Sep 29, 2008 / wongxy - Sep 30, 2008
|"There is a trace of each of these old values" - FSU Essay Evaluation
4 - Just that; relaxed "can't", "won't", etc. These are things we use because we are linguistically lazy. Formal academic writing,...
Undergraduateking723 - Sep 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 30, 2008
|"Can we make a difference in the world?" Notre Dame
Undergraduatepandolfi91 - Sep 28, 2008 / pandolfi91 - Sep 29, 2008
|My high school career is drawing to an end - UF Admissions Essay
3 - I believe your essay answers the prompt effectively. You use good examples and have a good intro as well...
UndergraduateBZellars09 - Sep 28, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 29, 2008
|Adolescence is the precursor to adulthood. - UF Admission Essay
NEW - Prompt: Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life. Adolescence - My essay: Adolescence is...
Undergraduatejohnny5 - Sep 29, 2008 / — -
|"I am not able to isolate one of three Latin words" - FSU admission essay
NEW - Looking back on my life, I realized that I am not able to isolate one of three Latin words....
Undergraduatemdfmas499 - Sep 29, 2008 / — -
|FSU Essay: Family is more than one word to me.
NEW - "Vires, Artes, Mores" are words that are both a guiding philosophy for Florida State University and for my life....
Undergraduatea1ex682 - Sep 29, 2008 / — -
|'more than trained physician, dentist or veterinarian' - essay about being a doctor
Undergraduatemihirmj - Sep 19, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 28, 2008
|I have a close relation to the Latin word "Mores" - FSU Admission Essay
NEW - In comparison to the motto of Florida State, "Vires, Artes, Mores", I believe I have a close relation to...
Undergraduatejordanelizabeth - Sep 28, 2008 / — -
|Addictive tendencies - family history, culture, or environment
NEW - For UCF. I think it sounds really awkward and I have already had to rewrite it a few times....
UndergraduateKillings - Sep 28, 2008 / — -
|Miami Rowing Club; MY activities
NEW - 154 words, help!! also,***please edit**** A thousand and one doubts floated through my head as I anxiously sat...
Undergraduatealeinad - Sep 28, 2008 / — -
|Cultural diversity is important to our American culture; UofM diversity
NEW - ok, i have most of it written...this stupid liberal diversity essay (sorry if i offend anyone in that). I...
UndergraduateLedPorcupineToo - Sep 28, 2008 / — -
|Intern for Barack Obama's campaign ; EXTRACURRICULAR
UndergraduateDamselfly - Sep 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 27, 2008
|Personal Statement- meaningful experience ("Antonio stung my heart")
2 - You've got a unique premis here, but it could use some more personal details from you to really make...
Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Sep 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 27, 2008
|"strong morals are necessary in today's society" - FSU Admission Essay
2 - I think you have a great essay here. You explain how this characteristic affects your life and give great...
Undergraduatejkrusemark1 - Sep 27, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 27, 2008
|'multifaceted culture' - Rutgers Undergraduate Admission; a vibrant community
7 - By "showing" you use adjectives, metaphors, and similies frequently but not too frequently in your writing. By being concise,...
Undergraduatekotak07 - Sep 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 27, 2008
|Palm beach County's Zero Tolerance policy - UF essay
Undergraduateredfishh2 - Sep 27, 2008 / — -
|Orlando's beauty/internship and employment opportunities; WHY CHOOSE UCF?
Undergraduateekinkler90 - Sep 27, 2008 / — -
|"Next up, from New Jersey" - do you think I've answered the question?
2 - Good evening. Grammatically and mechanically the essay is clean. If the word count allows, I suggest adding a...
Undergraduateekinkler90 - Sep 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 26, 2008
|'pelagic domain' / 'white uniform' / 'Russian math' - 3 UC Essays - Comment
2 - Good evening. In regards to the first essay, I believe your text answers the prompt effectively. You use...
Undergraduatesgrockergirl - Sep 26, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 26, 2008
|the gregarious young man to be - admission essay
UndergraduateJaguarKing100 - Sep 25, 2008 / JaguarKing100 - Sep 26, 2008
|Accomplishment essay (skiing Tiger the most difficult slope @ Boston Mills)
Undergraduatemihirmj - Sep 25, 2008 / — -
|FSU essay---desire to major in pre-law. suggestions for improvement?
3 - thank you thank you thank you!!! i really appreciate your help :) but i do have one more question......
Undergraduateccw_20 - Sep 25, 2008 / ccw_20 - Sep 25, 2008
|Education and my parents - Ucf admissions essay
2 - My parents' influences in my academics is personified through me everyday; however, my loving sisters are responsible for my...
Undergraduatemcsmike - Sep 24, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 25, 2008
|"traditions which I can relate to as a student" - fsu essay
2 - I'm not really sure if your essay answers the prompt. You define tradition very nicely and illustrate examples of...
Undergraduatejaw7000 - Sep 24, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Sep 25, 2008
|Obstacle, family history, uniqueness - UCF essay
NEW - UCF We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer...
Undergraduateccw_20 - Sep 25, 2008 / — -
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