Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate [26,496] - page 435 of 442

Undergraduate

Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays (page 435)

Replies | Threads
"I am a fencer." -Common App essay: is it any good?

4 - You could add more analysis on how deeply these skills have effected you a bit more; other than that,...

Undergraduatelexlavender - Oct 13, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 16, 2008
'the beauty of mathematics' - California exchange student

4 - Thank you very much for your suggestions!~...

Undergraduatemickeygirl - Oct 15, 2008 / mickeygirl - Oct 15, 2008
Doctor of Pharmacy Degree in less than three years; Why University of the Pacific?

2 - Why is this program better than all of the others? What is it specifically about this institution that is...

Undergraduatewendywu - Oct 15, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 15, 2008
'Teachers and student relations' - Common App - elaborate on one of your activity

2 - Good afternoon. In regards to flow, at the end of the first section you could put in a...

Undergraduategbtl - Oct 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 15, 2008
Super Powers Hero - FSU Essay

NEW - "Vires represents strength in its many forms. Whether it is physical, emotional, or intellectual, it is something that can...

UndergraduateLimaEm - Oct 15, 2008 / — -
"my strong moral and intellectual ability" - Last Minute Essay. (FSU)

NEW - Throughout my entire life the Latin word Vires has been my guiding philosophy. Vires embodies my moral and intellectual...

UndergraduateAnthony - Oct 14, 2008 / — -
'difficulty learning' - UCF ESSAY - BUMPS IN THE ROAD

2 - Good evening. You've got a fine piece here, but I'm not sure how it fulfills the prompt. The...

Undergraduatelecokr - Oct 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 14, 2008
COMMON APP - the importance of diversity to you

3 - Good evening. Your response does answer the prompt, with well thought out examples and good description. It flows...

Undergraduatecalend4r - Oct 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 14, 2008
I am passionate about each activity which I am apart of - Elaborate on one of your activities...

2 - Good afternoon. I am not involved in every club, b ut I am passionate about each ... As...

Undergraduatebeingryanjude - Oct 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 14, 2008
'Better grades' - Common Application - Significant Achievement

3 - I agree with calend4r's comments about the last paragraph; it is important to make sure that you are relating...

Undergraduategbtl - Oct 14, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 14, 2008
'I have no body, I'm stuck' - Why do you want to attend Pratt?

3 - I agree that the pieces definitely need more expansion. "Intro I have been interested in all sorts of arts...

Undergraduatekobedatnext - Oct 13, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 14, 2008
'giving up my time to help my uncle' - personal statement

NEW - TELL US A PERSONAL QUALITY,TALENT,ACCOMPLISHMENT, CONTRIBUTION OR EXPERIENCE THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU. WHAT ABOUT THSI QUALITY OR ACCOMPLISHMENT...

Undergraduatenickymicky - Oct 14, 2008 / — -
About my youth and my first visit to the USA - some suggestion pls

NEW - Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how...

Undergraduateawakenlion - Oct 13, 2008 / — -
a multitude of unforgettable memories - common application essay

NEW - Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on...

Undergraduatethebobert - Oct 13, 2008 / — -
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their streng - FSU essay help

4 - Yes; elaboration and specifics will save these essays, because as they are here they are still a bit vague....

UndergraduateCydiona - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 13, 2008
University of Pennsylvania courses / characteristics

6 - Great point! Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com...

Undergraduatezhangyi - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 13, 2008
Common Application; Help with "Elaborate on one of your activities"

2 - Good afternoon. My first concern is capitalization; make sure that you are capitalizing proper nouns and words at...

Undergraduatecubs72191 - Oct 13, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 13, 2008
Essay supporting an issue about which you are particularly passionate.

6 - You have some great ideas in it, but I would suggest trying to focus on just one event, just...

Undergraduatemickeygirl - Oct 12, 2008 / cubs72191 - Oct 13, 2008
Unique characteristics - ability to mentor new students and to tutor underclass-men

5 - One suggestion that I had was that rather than list your accomplishments and say that they made you a...

Undergraduateshinoda10920 - Oct 11, 2008 / cubs72191 - Oct 13, 2008
"I am an artist." FSU essay...I need help...Is it too out of the box?

2 - Good evening. As the prompt for this essay was not included in this posting, I can give suggestions...

Undergraduatejane6272 - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
CARE program essay. The palm of my hand sweats as he holds my hand.

4 - I can give you an example of what I see, but it is up to you to make your...

UndergraduateChrisloveT - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
How I can enhance the community around me? - UCF ESSAY

3 - Thank You so much and yes that was the one that I was responding to...

UndergraduateCydiona - Oct 10, 2008 / Cydiona - Oct 12, 2008
"I had a rough start to my high school career" - FSU Essay

3 - Thanks what you said it really helps alot...

UndergraduateJCox2009 - Oct 12, 2008 / JCox2009 - Oct 12, 2008
Thank you Ms. Steward =) fsu essay

3 - Ohkay Thank you...

UndergraduateChrisloveT - Oct 12, 2008 / ChrisloveT - Oct 12, 2008
Strenght, football team - FSU Admissions Essay (Suggestions?)

5 - Yeah, I have been known to abuse commas. I've added a couple things to it and I think it's...

Undergraduateiambubbathedog - Oct 12, 2008 / iambubbathedog - Oct 12, 2008
"motivation, fashion, and compassion"; Florida State University philosophy

3 - Good evening. I have a few concerns for this piece. You have a good essay but I am...

Undergraduatemandy - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
"in today's world values & goals are a must" FSU essay Vires, Artes, Mores

2 - Good evening. My main concern here is your mechanics; you have a good essay but I am afraid...

Undergraduatealexispaige - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
For Conell, intellectual interests, their evolution

2 - Good evening. My main concern here is your mechanics; you have a good response, but I am afraid...

Undergraduatemickeygirl - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
the "Golden Knight" Palace - need to add some details in my ucf essay

NEW - Why do i want to apply to ucf 3.The moment I stepped onto the "Golden Knight" Palace, I...

Undergraduateronald12345 - Oct 12, 2008 / — -
Personal Statement- (Victoria Junior College).

6 - I will keep those mind! Thanks so much!...

Undergraduateabbiebubble - Oct 5, 2008 / abbiebubble - Oct 12, 2008
A person's values - FSU admisions essay; Vires symbolizes a variety of strengths

3 - Good morning. I agree with the above comment, and have a few others as well: Make sure...

Undergraduatedurr135 - Oct 12, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
Still Part of the Team - I need my essay to be cut for Temple University!

2 - Good morning. Here are my changes; they get you down to 399 words, without the title: I...

Undergraduatepjoseph09 - Oct 11, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
Family history + my qualities or unique traits - UCF Admission Essay

2 - Good morning. A few things: first, the list of characteristics is a bit ostentatious; shorten it up a...

Undergraduatenayr - Oct 11, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
"...today's world with the turmoil" - FSU ADMISSION ESSAY

2 - Good morning. Your introduction needs a little bit of work as it has a couple run-on sentences in...

Undergraduatenayr - Oct 11, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 12, 2008
"I thought long and hard about where to spend 4 years" - UCF Essays

4 - You're very welcome, and thank you for the encouragement! Regards, Gloria Moderator, EssayForum.com...

Undergraduatehockeyplyr1034 - Oct 9, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 11, 2008
For UR, what makes you a good fit? Give suggetions for my work.

4 - I suggest that you definitely include the publication information (at least one source) and remove any "filler" from the...

Undergraduatejunma314 - Oct 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 11, 2008
"Circle of Love" - Univ of Florida admission essay review on a meaningful event, experience ...

2 - Good evening. I only have one comment: "...enjoyed the day's festivities; for a brief moment, I was..."...

Undergraduatenayr - Oct 11, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 11, 2008
"I'm mentally ready" - FSU ESSAY HELP

4 - I think this is a good response to the prompt; you may not be happy with it because you've...

Undergraduate4ever2bleed - Oct 7, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 11, 2008
"I've been a musician for eight years.." - FSU admission essay

6 - i decided to just delete the last part. "along with the help of my role models: my band director,...

Undergraduateliljay9083 - Oct 9, 2008 / liljay9083 - Oct 11, 2008
UCF: "How has family/culture influenced who you are?

NEW - Work in progress, just wrote this from scratch. I'm having some trouble with word choice though, and on how...

UndergraduateSweed - Oct 11, 2008 / — -
"...this power exists" - FSU essay on three famous Latin words

2 - Great response to the prompt; a few mechanical errors, but overall a strong essay. Nice opening and conclusion; the...

Undergraduatefloridagirl - Oct 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 11, 2008
"many different points of view" - UR promt 2

NEW - Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an independent study and research plan. Describe what...

Undergraduatejunma314 - Oct 10, 2008 / — -
Upenn short question - "explain why"?

2 - In regards to the prompt, it seems like they want you to name a specific professor that you want...

Undergraduatewongxy - Oct 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 10, 2008
An experience through which you have gained respect for you differencies.

2 - Good afternoon. The middle paragraph seems a bit too stiff for my liking; how about softening it? Something...

Undergraduateelthano - Oct 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 10, 2008
What led you to choose the area of academic interest you chose?

2 - Your content provides a good reply to the prompt, but your mechanics need some work. I suggest a refresher...

Undergraduateelthano - Oct 10, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 10, 2008
"Life can be full of many obstacle and surprises" - Admission essay

5 - Ok, thanks a lot for your help! I appreciate your time and effort....

UndergraduateSammy - Oct 9, 2008 / Sammy - Oct 10, 2008
Live a life that is pleasing to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, FSU essay

5 - wow like your essay a lot good ideas, nice flow good luck...

Undergraduatebeccaboo3290 - Oct 8, 2008 / pilla2008 - Oct 10, 2008
FSU essay: "Vires", has been forefront in my life

2 - Just a general comment: perhaps refreshing yourself with the rules of comma usage could benefit you; you seem to...

Undergraduatebailey - Oct 9, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 9, 2008
personal history - FSU to get accepted in college

2 - I'm not sure what the prompt is, so I am not sure how you would like me to proceed....

Undergraduatelecokr - Oct 9, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 9, 2008
Describe a setback that you have faced (brother) - essay

7 - beccaboo3290's tips are excellent! Good job guys! The main thing about formality in academic writing is to stay...

Undergraduateelthano - Oct 8, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 9, 2008
Luncheon to honor the winners of the Boca Delray Music Society - UF

NEW - Any feedback is appreciated. I have a concern with my middle section. I'd like to make the middle...

Undergraduatesimpleterms - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
"Wings of Wax" - Emerson College Admissions Essay

NEW - We understand that the college application process often feels stressful, when it should be an opportunity for self-reflection. Stop...

UndergraduateBostonbound - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
"... becoming Superman" - FSU Essay..last one I promise

NEW - And last but not least the FSU essay. Like before, all help most appreciated. Thank you! As a...

Undergraduatebeckerb33 - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
passion for a particular subject or a cause Univerity of Delaware APP essay

NEW - Have you discovered your passion for a particular subject or a cause? I walked into the exhibit early,...

Undergraduateoxomelissaoxo91 - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
"million thoughts to pressure me" - FSU essay intro comments/suggestions

2 - That's cool you're a Christian too! I'm applying to FSU as well. It's my top choice. :) That's so...

Undergraduatepilla2008 - Oct 9, 2008 / beccaboo3290 - Oct 9, 2008
"...constant fighting of my parents" - UCF essay number two

NEW - This is my second UCF essay on How my family history, culture or environment influenced me. As before, please...

Undergraduatebeckerb33 - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
Your activities - common app personal statement - 3 to choose from

NEW - In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words...

UndergraduateBD26 - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
"My mother's diagnosis" - admission essay --Vires

NEW - The Florida State University motto "Vires, Artes, Mores" focuses on strength, the arts, and tradition. Each of these values...

Undergraduatehannah45 - Oct 9, 2008 / — -
My moral strength: parents and my Catholic education -FSU application essay

3 - Thanks so much for your feedback. I really appreicate it!...

Undergraduatepencil - Oct 8, 2008 / pencil - Oct 8, 2008
"The Treble and the Bass" - No prompt, just me rambling

6 - I think it would be a good thing to hand in as an extra; I don't think it's appropriate...

UndergraduateJustJoshinbyJ - Oct 6, 2008 / EF_Team5 - Oct 8, 2008

Home / Undergraduate

Writing
Editing Help?
✖
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳