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|Chance. When you get one, you're going to want to use it wisely. Why the UMTC PSEO Program?
2 - I think it's easier on the reader's mind when you use "I" instead of "you". Using "you" is subtly...
Undergraduatemohamtes000 - Mar 30, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Apr 1, 2015
|'I was building robots' - UMASS Mechanical Engineering Common App Transfer Essay
Undergraduateshermama96 - Mar 30, 2015 / johnsenong - Apr 1, 2015
|Motivation letter for International Business Administration at Rotterdam School of Management
Undergraduatesamaskarkapac - Mar 29, 2015 / samaskarkapac - Mar 30, 2015
|The people I see nearly every day are unable to access the education that they deserve
2 - It's interesting, the teachers would complain that they have to let their ideals and curricula conform to the...
UndergraduateCollegeBoy - Mar 28, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Mar 30, 2015
|I can offer NYU my patient perspective because of my experience in Xiamen, not so big city in China.
6 - Thank you again for your quick response! So you suggest I should stick to the new version and...
UndergraduateChenchenchen - Mar 27, 2015 / Chenchenchen - Mar 28, 2015
|DePauw has helped me progress, but now I want to move even further. Transfer main essay to NYU!
Undergraduatechan94 - Mar 28, 2015 / harveyross - Mar 28, 2015
|Engineering in supporting my financial issues - Personal statement correction
UndergraduateIraj33 - Mar 27, 2015 / ah_zafari - Mar 27, 2015
|Being a president of English club I organized a summer exchange trip to Lithuania; cultural exchange
2 - Hi there! I know you're excited about the possibilities with NYU. It's an amazing institution. :) One of...
Undergraduatenazmarta - Mar 25, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Mar 25, 2015
|My mother's dedication inspired me to set high goals to make her proud. My international background.
NEW - Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can...
Undergraduatenazmarta - Mar 25, 2015 / — -
|LIBRARY: SECOND HOME (QUESTBRIDGE SHORT RESPONSE)
Undergraduaterettabby - Mar 25, 2015 / rettabby - Mar 25, 2015
|Through medicine people's lives are prolonged - Career Goals of an Emergency Room Physician
Undergraduatejaylon - Mar 23, 2015 / jaylon - Mar 24, 2015
|'Academics, bookwork, school' - Quest Bridge Biographical Essay
3 - After seeing the struggles my mother goeswent through in order for me to have a better future, I made...
Undergraduatek9chilly - Sep 24, 2012 / lynzee22 - Mar 23, 2015
|'scientific research is strongly promoted here' - Macalester supplement
3 - Hello, This is a very good start. Below are some suggestions For a liberal arts college with high...
Undergraduatecordyceps - Jan 15, 2012 / lynzee22 - Mar 23, 2015
|Korean universities, culture, and technology. My passion to continue my study.
Undergraduatetian lee - Mar 23, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Mar 23, 2015
|Motive for exchange program in Japan - to broaden my horizon
2 - Hello! I hope you get to have excellent, rewarding experiences when you apply your art for ECE. That is...
Undergraduateerinwu - Mar 22, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Mar 23, 2015
|What type of work would you like to do once you finish school? Short essay
Undergraduatemaiphuong29 - Mar 18, 2015 / maiphuong29 - Mar 21, 2015
|"The Dreams About a Perfect World" - motivation statement
2 - Overall, this was a well-written essay. Good work. Just be careful with sentence structure and wording. Sometimes you word...
Undergraduatedcdm13 - Mar 19, 2015 / lynzee22 - Mar 19, 2015
|It will help me have a clear picture in my career and become a good person. STAAR Summer CAMP
Undergraduatetrantuan1471 - Mar 19, 2015 / — -
|My reason for becoming a nurse is the passion in my heart and soul for helping others
2 - This was a very touching essay. Great job. I just made some corrections above and made some suggestions for...
Undergraduatejdawdy9 - Apr 13, 2013 / lynzee22 - Mar 19, 2015
|Process Analysis rough draft "Filling Physician Orders"
2 - I think your conclusion can be a bit stronger. Focus more on improving quality of life with medications. Make...
Undergraduatesherelle04 - Sep 18, 2012 / lynzee22 - Mar 19, 2015
|Activity- Junior Red Cross, or we usually call it "PMR" or Palang Merah Remaja with 17 of my friends
2 - Hi Royalitas, I cannot comment your content as you did not mention in what occasion you write such an...
Undergraduateroyalitas - Mar 19, 2015 / fadlanmuzakki - Mar 19, 2015
|Science is a wonderful and amazing subject that helps us to explain the world. My favorite class
6 - This is my correction!!!! Please !! help me! Short essay: What is your favorite class? Why? During a...
Undergraduatekhonglong - Mar 15, 2015 / khonglong - Mar 18, 2015
|Painting I did; Brown/ Something I created and it makes me proud
Undergraduatejs65438 - Jan 3, 2013 / lynzee22 - Mar 18, 2015
|Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park experience - Applying for Japanese Studies and Sociology
4 - Thank you very much for spending your time reviewing my essay, lynzee22! :D I really do appreciate your help!...
Undergraduateishikawayayoi - Mar 16, 2015 / ishikawayayoi - Mar 17, 2015
|One name became the center of my world - Haruki Murakami; Hamilton Sup
2 - Your conclusion has very little to do with the rest of the essay. For the conclusion, summarize your main...
Undergraduaterainneil - Dec 30, 2012 / lynzee22 - Mar 17, 2015
|It was my junior and senior high school. My most memorable childhood at Woranari Chaloem.
2 - I had a memorable childhood at Woranari Chaloem School which is located in Songkhla province . It was my...
UndergraduateMylovelyteddy - Mar 16, 2015 / gauravwalia1988 - Mar 16, 2015
|"We spent so much money on you and this is how you repay us?" Since your last application- Stanford
3 - Thank you! I actually wrote a couple of essays on my academic achievements, So I just wanted to write...
Undergraduatesumitsadawarti - Mar 15, 2015 / sumitsadawarti - Mar 15, 2015
|I decided to learn something practical, technical and capable of creating huge material
3 - Hello my edits and suggestions are below: When I was about to choose a major to specialize in,...
UndergraduateAshley_W - Mar 13, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Mar 14, 2015
|I started clicking all the different tabs; My Stanford "Intellectual Vitality"
2 - Hello, your story is very well written and very interesting. You start off very well, but the end is...
UndergraduateSilverKnight - Nov 4, 2013 / lynzee22 - Mar 14, 2015
|"Arguments of Affection"; dinner with my family. UC Prompt #1
3 - Prompt: Describe the world you come from. For example your family, community, or school. Hello! My edits and...
Undergraduate4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 14, 2012 / EF_Jasmine - Mar 13, 2015
|'pull myself back together'- exceptional achievement that highlights your academic experience gained
2 - Hello my edits and suggestions are below: No One can not achieve victory without facing any challenges at...
UndergraduateFiqG95 - Mar 13, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Mar 13, 2015
|"We are not like white people - she can endure this." NYU Supplement (Transfer student)
3 - You may want to look over at some grammatical errors. A few I found within the first few sentences...
Undergraduaterochellew18 - Mar 13, 2015 / aikoashiya - Mar 13, 2015
|Essay : an incident or set of incidents in your life that had the most profound influence on you !
5 - With some help from his colleagues, [When] we got to the hospital which was two hours away, butThe journey...
Undergraduatethe_batfan - Mar 12, 2015 / rochellew18 - Mar 13, 2015
|Our first computer program, "Hello world"; Essay for English class
4 - I read through the essay and overall its pretty good. The concepts there it just needs a little work...
Undergraduatecal23 - Nov 20, 2012 / Zakarh1 - Mar 13, 2015
|"Gay man of color"; It is imperative for me to be a sinner - Stanford essay
7 - I think this is really good topic and beautifully portrayed. If there your essay has not exceeded the word...
Undergraduatesumitsadawarti - Mar 9, 2015 / rochellew18 - Mar 13, 2015
|Educational Goals and Interests; Biochemistry/Forensic Science; Waterloo Essay
2 - Content-wise, I believe that your introduction is much too long. You've spent nearly half your word/character limit talking about...
Undergraduateshreyaad - Mar 12, 2015 / aikoashiya - Mar 12, 2015
|My name is John, I'm a technology lover ..
Undergraduatedinah20 - Mar 12, 2015 / shreyaad - Mar 12, 2015
|An Experience that has been particularly meaningful to me is when I gave birth to my son. FAMU Essay
3 - Hi, everthing in my life error and at you, that you should still finish what you started no need...
Undergraduateayee_vis - Mar 10, 2015 / Freelanson - Mar 11, 2015
|I spent most of my adolescence reviewing literature about flight principles
3 - Thank you for your contribution, I will consider your corrections for sure! Any further critics will be welcome!...
Undergraduateismaelmatamoros - Mar 9, 2015 / ismaelmatamoros - Mar 10, 2015
|SCAD - Importance of Writing on My Life - My Statement of Purpose!
2 - I loved it. Though I think you should add something about what you would do during college, something like...
Undergraduatemwaldrop101 - Mar 9, 2015 / jakelly - Mar 10, 2015
|19th century novels, knitting patterns from the 1930s; Applicant Statement for Living History Museum
2 - I am writing in response to the S ummerI nterpretation I nternship at Old Sturbridge Village. Since childhood, I...
Undergraduatecollegebound28 - Mar 9, 2015 / Lbernal11 - Mar 9, 2015
|"I am a psychopath" Psychiatry dep. accepting essays from people with disorders on their experiences
2 - Hello, So I suppose I don't need to tell you your essay is well written. However, I would make...
Undergraduateanonymous137 - Mar 9, 2015 / lynzee22 - Mar 9, 2015
|NYU Poly Tech Second Bachelor's in Computer Science (Personal Statement)
Undergraduatemiqbal06 - Mar 7, 2015 / — -
|Career and life goals - architect's dream
2 - Since I was a kid, I dreamed of being an architect because buildings, highways always caught my attention. As...
Undergraduatejdlr96 - Mar 4, 2015 / anhminh3105 - Mar 5, 2015
|UC Prompt #1 A single mother in my world - the world you come from
Undergraduatetylerseals - Oct 23, 2012 / jdlr96 - Mar 4, 2015
|Growth of Resilience - UC Personal Statement 2
4 - Sdelicana, you provide excellent details about your challenges growing up, but I think paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 could...
Undergraduatesdelicana - Nov 28, 2012 / dquinlan11 - Mar 4, 2015
|South Asian cultures typically emphasize that the only career choice for students is in medicine.
4 - Thank you to both EF_season and EF_Jasmine for taking the time to edit my personal statements! I really appreciate...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / zasif326 - Mar 4, 2015
|Senioritis - a term used to describe the lack of motivation displayed by students
Undergraduateaikoashiya - Feb 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Mar 4, 2015
|We all care what the "world" thinks of us, and deny that - I have gone through this phase.
2 - People are often moved by powerful questions such as "What would she think of me?" and phrases such aslike...
Undergraduateamasso - Mar 4, 2015 / lightfox - Mar 4, 2015
|Georgetown Transfer Essay: Asian American Identity Crisis
2 - Hello dendenkim, pretty good essay but as EF_Sheri said do not over use the humor on your essay otherwise...
Undergraduatedendenkim - Feb 25, 2015 / Barrera77 - Mar 2, 2015
|That day was shocking to many people, everything happened so slowly
2 - Hi Cmcontin! I'm EF_Season and I'm here to help you with your Descriptive essay today. First, I'd love to...
Undergraduatecmcontin - Mar 2, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 2, 2015
|Reach an outstanding employment prospect to major financial institutions - liberal arts colleges
8 - It means a short introduction, such as a personal experience. BTW, I just posted my edited version, could you...
UndergraduateLoveNYU - Feb 28, 2015 / LoveNYU - Mar 1, 2015
|Procrastination is a terrible, terrible technique for self induced anxiety. Would not recommend.
Undergraduatedendenkim - Mar 1, 2015 / dendenkim - Mar 1, 2015
|My mom is my real teacher; "If you grow up what will you do?"
UndergraduateInaa_e - Mar 1, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Mar 1, 2015
|My first escapade in the realm of psychology was unintentional - UT Major Transfer Essay
2 - HI sousuke! I hope I'm not too late to help. I'm EF_Season. I'll respond now... Even if it is...
Undergraduatesousuke - Feb 28, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 1, 2015
|I see many opportunities to achieve my end goal of learning all I can. Brown Univ.
2 - As a woman who has just started experiencing the world, I see many opportunities to achieve my end goal...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 1, 2015
|I am not afraid of the future anymore. I fell in love instantly with graphic design; admission essay
Undergraduatesardigt - Feb 28, 2015 / sardigt - Mar 1, 2015
|Interest in particle physics lead me to decision to apply to University of Glasgow - transfer essay
2 - In the second class of high school (not exactly sure what this means, do you mean your second year...
UndergraduateShilay - Feb 28, 2015 / dendenkim - Mar 1, 2015
|Brown University carries my top choice of major: Development Studies.
3 - Brown University carries my top choice of major I think "meets " is a better word. Although it is...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / vahid11 - Feb 28, 2015
|It is agonizing to watch such a beautiful country crumble because of the rising violence. UT Austin.
3 - You have very good use of imagery; your essay was captivating throughout. I agree with TJLuschen's suggestions....
Undergraduateyoungfolk2 - Feb 27, 2015 / zasif326 - Feb 28, 2015
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