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|Being a Korean immigrant - ApplyTexas Essay Topic A
3 - 1st paragraph; - "I'll never get be able to fit into the American culture". -.. I feared most of...
UndergraduateKilleener - Jul 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 26, 2015
|USNA Candidate essay - to achieve my dreams of serving in the navy
3 - - Growing up with Nepali parents of Nepali descent who.. - devote my life and to onebe of service....
UndergraduateCandidate - Jul 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 24, 2015
|Windows on Williams - My Neighborhood and its impact
UndergraduateYvette12 - Jul 12, 2015 / masaji - Jul 23, 2015
|'The pain is temporary' - David's United States Naval Academy Personal Statement Essay
4 - Your essay is just two paragraphs, each one answering a question. What you need is proper form. You could...
Undergraduatedavidsrosario0 - Jul 17, 2015 / EF_Carol - Jul 20, 2015
|Naval Academy Senator letter
3 - - I believe that my contagious fervorundying commitment in ( I choose this words because "contagious" seemed like a...
Undergraduateryanj928 - Jul 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 19, 2015
|Among the Very Few; Why do you wish to participate in Semester at Sea as a gap year student?
Undergraduatemichaelaowen - Jul 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 17, 2015
|Selflessness - I hope I would make my papa proud. Common Application
Undergraduatedam22 - Jul 12, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jul 16, 2015
|STELLAR ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE IN THE AISSE - Penn State Application Personal Statement
3 - I revised it and changed the conclusion and excluded the details you told me to. Still, its 650 words....
UndergraduateNilesh99 - Jul 15, 2015 / Nilesh99 - Jul 16, 2015
|Escaping the labyrinth-college application essay
Undergraduatedevyanisawant - Jul 15, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jul 15, 2015
|Because of a video game someone's online and off-line social life may be ruined. College Admission.
2 - Hi Alleged, first you did not introduce your topic properly-- you can introduce like- Integrating with people...
UndergraduateAlleged - Jul 13, 2015 / Junisha111p - Jul 13, 2015
|'Who is the person you dream of becoming'; Syracuse Newhouse Common app supplement prompts
3 - - I dream of becoming a better leader, a better innovator, a better intellectualindividual ( I believe you mean...
Undergraduateqcstudent - Jul 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 9, 2015
|Common App essay - My story of escaping persecution and moving to the USA
UndergraduateOutlooker - Jul 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 9, 2015
|Reflection of my internship experience
NEW - Please check for my grammar usage and also the awkward expression. I would appreciate greatly for every comment and...
UndergraduateSpecialOne - Jul 8, 2015 / — -
|'my sense of needing to give back to the community I live in' - PEACE CORPS Motivation Statement
3 - - Whether it was rescuing them from spiders in the back of their bunk or cheering them on when...
UndergraduateCarrieG - Jul 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 6, 2015
|So why would I pick the University of Texas? Simple. Because of the computer science program.
3 - KnightofGondor, WELCOME to EssayForum!!! Let me try to help out; - "As a homeschooled individual, I've always...
UndergraduateKnightOfGondor - Jul 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 6, 2015
|Encounter with the slums - Significant Experience Essay
3 - ThatFilipinoKid, WELCOME to EssayForum, it's nice to hear that our EF Family is growing and you as a member...
UndergraduateThatFilipinoKid - Jun 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 2, 2015
|Stepping stone - help looking over my Motivation Statement for the Peace Corps.
3 - Okay, this paragraph is not bad in terms of content. In fact, I really like this paragraph. Good job!...
Undergraduatemkiflai - Jun 30, 2015 / lightfox - Jun 30, 2015
|"Psychology wasn't my first choice" - UC transfer personal statement
3 - Deftpunk, WELCOME to Essayforum Family!!! Here's my help on your application. - To tell the truthHonestly ,...
UndergraduateDeftpunk - Jun 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 28, 2015
|Regretful moment when you chose not to speak up
UndergraduateAvyrene - Jun 27, 2015 / Avyrene - Jun 27, 2015
|Why go to university? A great environment for us to learn and grow up.
3 - Water Buffalo, I think wadpk had some great suggestions for you. I'm going to add to his/her assessment by...
UndergraduateWater Buffalo - Jun 27, 2015 / ChristineB - Jun 27, 2015
|The recipe for NYU, a missing ingredient which bring back this school on track to its future success
Undergraduategiasilahian - Jun 25, 2015 / giasilahian - Jun 26, 2015
|I was enthralled by the things I saw in the USA for the first time in my life - Personal Statement
2 - I can help suggest some changes you can make to your essay. When you begin the essay, you should...
UndergraduateThenewimmigrant - Jun 26, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jun 26, 2015
|I do believe in the evolution theory which may contrast with my religion voices - personal statement
Undergraduateesahn9405 - Jun 25, 2015 / shintacandrade - Jun 25, 2015
|Notre Dame 'good story' essay: 150 eye-catching words.
3 - -A shame, really, to transition from pansophical I'm not sure what you'd like to say but I'm guessing you...
Undergraduateodall9876 - Jun 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 23, 2015
|The job you like when you finish your education.
2 - - Of all the jobs I have known, marketermarketing is perhaps the one I think about after my graduation....
Undergraduateennyug - Jun 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 17, 2015
|English is a key to open the door to the outside world - essay with reasons why learn this language.
4 - cultural and economic exchanges between countries causes us have to learnt= cultural and economic exchanges between countries lead to...
Undergraduateennyug - Jun 13, 2015 / M19O09F11 - Jun 15, 2015
|TASK 2: Children are supposed to start their schools at the age of four
2 - - Education is the first aspect to create human's quality. This sentence puzzled me a bit, what do you...
UndergraduateAdhisti - Jun 13, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 13, 2015
|What can the study of animals tell us about ourselves and the world we live in? Improvements seeking
5 - Thank you!...
UndergraduateWaz147 - Jun 12, 2015 / Waz147 - Jun 13, 2015
|Camden, a city of poverty, violence.. - PERSONAL STATEMENT
4 - Dear Jailene1026, have 1 note for you: Growing up in Camden, a city of poverty, violence, teen pregnancies...
UndergraduateJailene1026 - Jun 7, 2015 / Anna Davis - Jun 11, 2015
|Seeking admission to one of the best Computer Science undergraduate programs in India - SOP
3 - kaushal21, i think that in the first paragraph instead of which is to be a software engineer , you...
Undergraduatekaushal21 - May 30, 2015 / Anna Davis - Jun 11, 2015
|Assignment about Culture Shock when you come to America.
Undergraduatevchau254 - May 12, 2015 / juanmarman - Jun 10, 2015
|My trip to the land of opportunities! I am not afraid of challenges anymore.
Undergraduatealialkhazragi - May 25, 2015 / alialkhazragi - Jun 7, 2015
|George Washington High School Drum Corps - personal quality, talent
Undergraduatehahaha - Nov 28, 2008 / thutyedaniel - May 29, 2015
|One thing I learned from our band - Dont be ugly Wallpaper - C. Gottesman 2015
3 - Thank you I'm still learning as a writer. I wrote it shorter than usual because the prompt said it...
UndergraduateMayaAngelou - May 25, 2015 / MayaAngelou - May 26, 2015
|My most memorable holidays
UndergraduateNatyAC - May 19, 2015 / ChristineB - May 20, 2015
|'Continuation of family legacy' - AUC, American University Of Cairo
Undergraduateislamtorky - May 19, 2015 / ChristineB - May 19, 2015
|'my Filipino ethnicity' - Culture and a Central Identity - CommonApp Essay
UndergraduateNJBorst - May 17, 2015 / justivy03 - May 19, 2015
|Biology and the single child in my Chinese Family; The world I come from
2 - I have made some suggestions. I looked at each sentence and paragraph to see what changes needed to be...
Undergraduatett6746690 - Oct 30, 2013 / lcturn87 - May 18, 2015
|Resiliency is something I've had to learn quickly growing up
2 - JenniferB, The fundamentals of your essay are great. You've selected some very big challenges to highlight your resiliency,...
UndergraduateJenniferB - May 17, 2015 / ChristineB - May 17, 2015
|The breakout of the civil war - the time my life has changed
3 - thanks jasmine for the corrections and the advice. it is good to know your weaknesses so that you can...
Undergraduatelee boy - May 13, 2015 / lee boy - May 14, 2015
|How I became interested in becoming a Physician Assistant-Saint Francis application essay
2 - - Rephrasing last 2 sentences; This experience furthered my interest in becoming a Physician Assistant because of the...
Undergraduatemadilyn123 - Oct 31, 2013 / justivy03 - May 13, 2015
|The beauty in numbers like the beauty in art frames - Texas A&M Transfer Essay A
UndergraduateAlexMenendez - May 10, 2015 / justivy03 - May 10, 2015
|'Going The Extra Mile' - Sophie Davis Essay #1
2 - I am new to UnderGrad Essays but one thing I learned is: The Admission Committee asks the essay so...
Undergraduateegpctim - Jan 8, 2012 / AlexMenendez - May 10, 2015
|What is the distinctness between a traditional Vietnamese family and a modern one?
Undergraduatepnanh - May 7, 2015 / pnanh - May 7, 2015
|Peace Corps Volunteer Essay Statement; how to overcome the various challenges associated?
2 - Although, I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to move to a country where I was able...
UndergraduateBlack_Beauty381 - May 5, 2015 / confusee123 - May 6, 2015
|I discovered the core of strength within myself that survived all hurt. My childhood.
4 - I had to rearrange you paragraphs again, because adding the other information about the neighborhood should not be placed...
Undergraduatesherricecharles - May 1, 2015 / lcturn87 - May 2, 2015
|My uncommon path - I'm ready to return to UCF now
4 - Continued... After my disqualification in 2012, I got married, and, with the help of my dear husband, slowly...
Undergraduatebluefleed - Apr 30, 2015 / ChristineB - Apr 30, 2015
|Nowadays, it cannot be avoided that the number of people gets the weight increase in many countries
3 - Hello Amelia, I might sound very rude, but your essay is quite... confusing. Befuddling. First, I would like to...
UndergraduateAdhisti - Apr 29, 2015 / kibz95 - Apr 30, 2015
|'My friend forever' - give some words about someone you know well
2 - I think your essay is basically well written, but you need to pay more attention to word choice. ...
Undergraduateamit agrawal - Apr 29, 2015 / EF_Carol - Apr 29, 2015
|"Why do you choose Pharmacy?" - Personal Statement for Monash Uni
3 - Thank you so much, ChristineB. Your correction really helps me while editing my personal statement....
UndergraduateGiantonia - Apr 27, 2015 / Giantonia - Apr 28, 2015
|'joining the band as a percussionist' - it is how I solved my conflict
2 - Hi, notblake. I'm going to rearrange things a little to improve your essay: Throughout my life as a...
Undergraduatenotblake - Apr 26, 2015 / ChristineB - Apr 26, 2015
|"the world gets a lot bigger when you're living small" - Peace Corps Essay
2 - I think you did a good job summing up your experience that would make you good candidate. Your work...
Undergraduatetempledc - Apr 25, 2015 / EF_Carol - Apr 26, 2015
|Acceptance to my dream career. I am extremely excited and ready for this new chapter in my family.
Undergraduateperlamartinez5 - Apr 23, 2015 / perlamartinez5 - Apr 23, 2015
|I AM A LEADER - it's my best trait
3 - I think you should add more or state specific examples. When I read this, I think that you have...
Undergraduatetonythatrican - Apr 23, 2015 / lcturn87 - Apr 23, 2015
|UC Davis' resources and research opportunities will give me a solid foundation in programming.
UndergraduateGModesto - Apr 22, 2015 / lcturn87 - Apr 22, 2015
|Is cheating wrong? Quotes of Sophocles and Susannah Centlivre
2 - Therefore, is cheating acceptable as just a normal way of life or is it plain out wrong and never...
UndergraduateKprizzy - Apr 22, 2015 / EF_Carol - Apr 22, 2015
|The public library (contemporary issue/problem) Richmond Scholar Semifinalist essay
2 - 1) 1st paragraph: I think there is too much information in the second sentence. Although there is little that...
Undergraduatebeccaleelee - Jan 16, 2011 / lcturn87 - Apr 20, 2015
|Combination of intellectual and professional growth; Vassar Colleg Supp/Why Vassar?
2 - Hi, orlaendoe. Here are my corrections to your essay: HOW DID YOU LEARN ABOUT VASSAR AND WHAT ASPECTS...
Undergraduateorlaendoe - Dec 26, 2012 / ChristineB - Apr 19, 2015
|Why do you wish to study Computer Science? What influenced your decision?
Undergraduatekimtot - Apr 17, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Apr 17, 2015
|SVA Statement of Intent - Getting out of the Shadows
4 - 1) What are you referring to when you state that your cousin is better than you? Does the rivalry...
Undergraduatethebadguy - Apr 16, 2015 / lcturn87 - Apr 17, 2015
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