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|An Experience that has been particularly meaningful to me is when I gave birth to my son. FAMU Essay
3 - Hi, everthing in my life error and at you, that you should still finish what you started no need...
Undergraduateayee_vis - Mar 10, 2015 / Freelanson - Mar 11, 2015
|I spent most of my adolescence reviewing literature about flight principles
3 - Thank you for your contribution, I will consider your corrections for sure! Any further critics will be welcome!...
Undergraduateismaelmatamoros - Mar 9, 2015 / ismaelmatamoros - Mar 10, 2015
|SCAD - Importance of Writing on My Life - My Statement of Purpose!
2 - I loved it. Though I think you should add something about what you would do during college, something like...
Undergraduatemwaldrop101 - Mar 9, 2015 / jakelly - Mar 10, 2015
|19th century novels, knitting patterns from the 1930s; Applicant Statement for Living History Museum
2 - I am writing in response to the S ummerI nterpretation I nternship at Old Sturbridge Village. Since childhood, I...
Undergraduatecollegebound28 - Mar 9, 2015 / Lbernal11 - Mar 9, 2015
|"I am a psychopath" Psychiatry dep. accepting essays from people with disorders on their experiences
2 - Hello, So I suppose I don't need to tell you your essay is well written. However, I would make...
Undergraduateanonymous137 - Mar 9, 2015 / lynzee22 - Mar 9, 2015
|NYU Poly Tech Second Bachelor's in Computer Science (Personal Statement)
Undergraduatemiqbal06 - Mar 7, 2015 / — -
|Career and life goals - architect's dream
2 - Since I was a kid, I dreamed of being an architect because buildings, highways always caught my attention. As...
Undergraduatejdlr96 - Mar 4, 2015 / anhminh3105 - Mar 5, 2015
|UC Prompt #1 A single mother in my world - the world you come from
Undergraduatetylerseals - Oct 23, 2012 / jdlr96 - Mar 4, 2015
|Growth of Resilience - UC Personal Statement 2
4 - Sdelicana, you provide excellent details about your challenges growing up, but I think paragraphs 2, 3, and 4 could...
Undergraduatesdelicana - Nov 28, 2012 / dquinlan11 - Mar 4, 2015
|South Asian cultures typically emphasize that the only career choice for students is in medicine.
4 - Thank you to both EF_season and EF_Jasmine for taking the time to edit my personal statements! I really appreciate...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / zasif326 - Mar 4, 2015
|Senioritis - a term used to describe the lack of motivation displayed by students
Undergraduateaikoashiya - Feb 25, 2015 / aikoashiya - Mar 4, 2015
|We all care what the "world" thinks of us, and deny that - I have gone through this phase.
2 - People are often moved by powerful questions such as "What would she think of me?" and phrases such aslike...
Undergraduateamasso - Mar 4, 2015 / lightfox - Mar 4, 2015
|Georgetown Transfer Essay: Asian American Identity Crisis
2 - Hello dendenkim, pretty good essay but as EF_Sheri said do not over use the humor on your essay otherwise...
Undergraduatedendenkim - Feb 25, 2015 / Barrera77 - Mar 2, 2015
|That day was shocking to many people, everything happened so slowly
2 - Hi Cmcontin! I'm EF_Season and I'm here to help you with your Descriptive essay today. First, I'd love to...
Undergraduatecmcontin - Mar 2, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 2, 2015
|Reach an outstanding employment prospect to major financial institutions - liberal arts colleges
8 - It means a short introduction, such as a personal experience. BTW, I just posted my edited version, could you...
UndergraduateLoveNYU - Feb 28, 2015 / LoveNYU - Mar 1, 2015
|Procrastination is a terrible, terrible technique for self induced anxiety. Would not recommend.
Undergraduatedendenkim - Mar 1, 2015 / dendenkim - Mar 1, 2015
|My mom is my real teacher; "If you grow up what will you do?"
UndergraduateInaa_e - Mar 1, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Mar 1, 2015
|My first escapade in the realm of psychology was unintentional - UT Major Transfer Essay
2 - HI sousuke! I hope I'm not too late to help. I'm EF_Season. I'll respond now... Even if it is...
Undergraduatesousuke - Feb 28, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 1, 2015
|I see many opportunities to achieve my end goal of learning all I can. Brown Univ.
2 - As a woman who has just started experiencing the world, I see many opportunities to achieve my end goal...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / EF_Season - Mar 1, 2015
|I am not afraid of the future anymore. I fell in love instantly with graphic design; admission essay
Undergraduatesardigt - Feb 28, 2015 / sardigt - Mar 1, 2015
|Interest in particle physics lead me to decision to apply to University of Glasgow - transfer essay
2 - In the second class of high school (not exactly sure what this means, do you mean your second year...
UndergraduateShilay - Feb 28, 2015 / dendenkim - Mar 1, 2015
|Brown University carries my top choice of major: Development Studies.
3 - Brown University carries my top choice of major I think "meets " is a better word. Although it is...
Undergraduatezasif326 - Feb 28, 2015 / vahid11 - Feb 28, 2015
|It is agonizing to watch such a beautiful country crumble because of the rising violence. UT Austin.
3 - You have very good use of imagery; your essay was captivating throughout. I agree with TJLuschen's suggestions....
Undergraduateyoungfolk2 - Feb 27, 2015 / zasif326 - Feb 28, 2015
|"Your account has been deleted. We hope you come back soon," Facebook said
2 - This was an interesting read but also very generic and predictable. People know pretty much exactly what happens when...
Undergraduateamei_mei - Feb 27, 2015 / zasif326 - Feb 28, 2015
|FROM 4 LEGS TO 2! How Veterinary medicine led me to Nursing.
Undergraduatelelooloo - Feb 26, 2015 / lelooloo - Feb 27, 2015
|Where words or actions are not able to produce. Parsons The New School Artist Statement revision.
5 - I am not a native speaker, and I'm far from painting, so very carefully I'll try to discuss your...
UndergraduateWDantigua - Jan 29, 2015 / autumn_waltz - Feb 27, 2015
|No two persons ever read the same book - TEXAS A&M topic A essay
Undergraduatedwwiratama - Feb 26, 2015 / WDantigua - Feb 26, 2015
|the prestigious learning environment - Temple University's excellent resources
2 - Hello! My edits and revisions are below: When I think of Temple University, the aspect that (is the...
UndergraduateRawoyera - Feb 26, 2015 / EF_Jasmine - Feb 26, 2015
|'genetics is the subset of biology' - why Columbia? "Broadening scientific horizons"
2 - Hi junersol194! Yes, overall the response is great--only a few areas that can be improved. I've made suggestions below....
Undergraduatejungersol194 - Feb 24, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Feb 26, 2015
|Peace Corps Essay "Most Likely to Live in Another Country - 8th Grade Me"
2 - Hi macook3! I'm EF_Season and I'm here to help you with your essay today. First, I LOVE the way...
Undergraduatemacook3 - Feb 24, 2015 / EF_Season - Feb 24, 2015
|Hospitality Entrance Essay - What Qualities needed to succeed.
Undergraduateblah87 - Feb 23, 2015 / blah87 - Feb 24, 2015
|Practical exercise is necessary to reduce a gap between industry and educational institution
4 - Hi again, Masktaz. When EF_Jasmine, writes "run-on," she means a sentence that needs punctuation (or needs to be...
Undergraduatemasktaz - Feb 21, 2015 / EF_Season - Feb 23, 2015
|Helping an Old Man; College Admissions- Better Person
Undergraduatekgarneau21 - Sep 11, 2013 / tantadedanaan - Feb 22, 2015
|"I thrive where I am constantly inspired" - UT Austin TRANSFER APP - Lifelong friendships
3 - Thanks so much for the critique! I'll definitely revise my essay taking your points into consideration!...
UndergraduateAnumeha - Feb 21, 2015 / Anumeha - Feb 21, 2015
|She stared at the mirror intently; CHALLENGE ESSAY
2 - The question is to state a challenging experience I have faced and explain what I have learned from it....
Undergraduatedlwjd - Feb 15, 2014 / EF_Jasmine - Feb 21, 2015
|'Over the metal door, there is a world of darkness and silence' - describe your place essay
Undergraduatejeon - Feb 20, 2015 / jeon - Feb 20, 2015
|Shortcomings is not a limit / Geophysical Engineering - Student Conference Application
4 - Great job expanding on what you've learned! Just a quick tweak, and I think you'll be in good...
Undergraduatemasktaz - Feb 20, 2015 / EF_Alyssa - Feb 20, 2015
|Exploration Manager is my way to contribute in global energy issues
Undergraduatemasktaz - Feb 19, 2015 / masktaz - Feb 20, 2015
|I have learned not to give up, keep trying and learn from my mistakes
Undergraduatebillythegoat - Sep 5, 2013 / Vns9x - Feb 19, 2015
|I was working as a Supervisor of Information Unit in the training and community service center
3 - Thank you Dear Vns9x I updated your suggestions: "I am one of those who interested and aspiring to get...
Undergraduatesami201 - Feb 19, 2015 / sami201 - Feb 19, 2015
|I was always taught to write what I know and put my experiences in a way others could relate to
4 - as far as i know, you can put a powerful quote (from an important figure) that relates to the...
Undergraduatedisaacs38 - Feb 18, 2015 / karchkarch - Feb 18, 2015
|"Inventories can be managed, but people must be led." Essay on Leadership
3 - Hi, I agree with Vns9x's comments. Here are some other comments: "Inventories can be managed, but people must...
Undergraduatemasktaz - Feb 16, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 18, 2015
|Bard College Berlin transfer - how becoming bilingual changed my life
2 - Hello! First, to answer your question about the length. If the minimum is 250 words, ideally I would try...
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Feb 13, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Feb 17, 2015
|Embrace anything and everything - even unexpected
2 - Hello Dear, I would like to take the opportunity to provide you feedback on your answer. First of all,...
Undergraduatewonderland - Feb 15, 2015 / budhesh28 - Feb 17, 2015
|Disappointment with an initial dream school, a dreary social life, homesickness, and pricey colleges
2 - Hi there! I think your essay was very good. You elaborate your reasons and objectives very well. As...
Undergraduatelacy - Feb 16, 2015 / tantadedanaan - Feb 16, 2015
|'I always perceive the grass was greener on the other side' - UW-Madison
2 - Overall, the tone of the essay is unlikely to resonate well with the person who will be reviewing. It...
Undergraduatewertypoiuys - Feb 13, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Feb 15, 2015
|The transition is frightening, really. However, I remain unchanged.
Undergraduatewonderland - Feb 14, 2015 / Dev4444 - Feb 15, 2015
|"Inquiry and knowledge have always guided me..." - Queen's PSE Engineering
2 - "At Queen's University, I will expand upon these skills further inwith the help of my academic and extracurricular activities."...
Undergraduatejcamp - Feb 14, 2015 / wonderland - Feb 15, 2015
|Becoming the Girl I've Always Wanted To Be--Common App Transfer Essay
2 - Your essay should have opening paragraph and ending one to show the readers what you want to say and...
UndergraduateSparkle5506 - Feb 13, 2015 / hunhann - Feb 14, 2015
|Switzerland is the place where I want to study. Study plan for Glion Higher School of Education.
2 - Hi, overall your essay sounded a little unorganized. You seem to go back and forth from topic to topic...
UndergraduateSamSegal - Feb 11, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 14, 2015
|Time is my biggest fear. It goes but never comes. It flies but never slows SCAD Statement of Purpose
2 - Your story is quite touching Davies. It is enough to tug on the heart strings of the admissions officers...
UndergraduateSadieLady - Feb 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Feb 13, 2015
|Everything started from computer for my eldest brother - My Devotion to technology
UndergraduateMisael - Feb 11, 2015 / Vns9x - Feb 11, 2015
|A Responsible Citizen - Creative Personal Statement
Undergraduateaber96crombie - Feb 11, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 11, 2015
|Sparky - the friend that changes the way I perceive things. University of Wisconsin-Madison essay
3 - Alright, thanks for your honest opinion, I'm also hesitating whether to submit this essay or not, time to revamp...
Undergraduatewertypoiuy - Feb 8, 2015 / wertypoiuy - Feb 11, 2015
|"You've got a great road ahead, sweetheart" - Transfer essays for MIT
3 - Thank you very much! I've edited the first one a bit: "You've got a great road ahead, sweetheart," my...
UndergraduateKaterynaPS - Feb 9, 2015 / KaterynaPS - Feb 11, 2015
|Why Don't I Have Baby Pictures? - essay about experience in my life
2 - Hi I enjoyed reading your essay :) and the following just represents my own opinion: On that Thursday morning,...
UndergraduateDavieThao - Feb 9, 2015 / Anonymous630 - Feb 11, 2015
|Taekwondo has changed my life completely!
2 - Hello Daniel, its nice to see a foreigner so devoted in my countries sport! (Yes, I am Korean) I...
Undergraduatemrdanny090 - Feb 10, 2015 / kibz95 - Feb 10, 2015
|An Unbreakable Bond - the loss of a friend can destroy a life and change someone's perspective
Undergraduateuhlizza - Feb 10, 2015 / uhlizza - Feb 10, 2015
|Be ambitious in my dreams and daring in my actions -- Queen's Commerce SE
3 - Hi Jennifer, I appreciate your suggestions very much!:） The thing is that I find it hard to describe the...
UndergraduateAnonymous630 - Feb 10, 2015 / Anonymous630 - Feb 10, 2015
|Exploring the hills of Himalayas in the North to vast beaches of the south - undergraduate course
NEW - In a 400-500 word essay, please describe how your personal experience and your cultural heritage have shaped the person...
Undergraduatehscmeinme - Feb 10, 2015 / — -
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