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|Troubles in a middle school and how to deal with them - USAFA Writing Sample
2 - - ..I begunbegan to associate with the troublemakers.. - My counselor sat me down and(this is unnecessary) was very...
UndergraduateUSAFAapplicant7 - Aug 19, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 20, 2015
|'To thine own self be untrue' - Common App Prompt #2
Undergraduatekingdraco89 - Aug 18, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 20, 2015
|Riverbend Retreat Camp - Apply Texas B, "Describe a conflict, how you resolved it?"
2 - - This has made getting.. - The most frustrating situation at the camp for me was when - ...one...
UndergraduateAubreythefruit - Aug 18, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 20, 2015
|Thoughts per day - my personal essay describes me and shows my uniqueness
3 - 1st paragraph - ...was a cycle of never ending thoughts;, (be mindful of your punctuation marks) thoughts - In...
UndergraduateaaliyahS - Aug 18, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 20, 2015
|What makes us survive is not because the life never getting easier, yet we are getting stronger.
5 - There are still some errors but the meaning is becoming clearer. I will focus on the 4th paragraph but...
Undergraduatemasktaz - Aug 17, 2015 / lcturn87 - Aug 20, 2015
|Why Georgia Tech? - scientific skills further development, legion of extracurricular activities
3 - - ...problems easily and thus, enhance my -ThoughBesides the fact that I am member of a science community... -...
Undergraduatenathansp98 - Aug 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 19, 2015
|Indonesian student in SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY: CommonApp Questions
3 - Proof reading; 1. Briefly describe how you learned about Santa Clara University. (150 words maximum) - I want...
Undergraduatejlskinner2 - Aug 17, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 19, 2015
|I look back at my 'misfortune' and smile. One of the prompts in Texas application.
2 - - Among the other topics that would come up atto the table - was my dad's talk oflitany about...
Undergraduatejustbelieve - Aug 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 19, 2015
|Movie role choice question - University of Florida 2016 Undergraduate Essay
3 - - ...and be an advocate for those who are lacking advocatesself esteem . - Thus, beganThis is the beginning...
Undergraduatemadymonzon - Aug 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 18, 2015
|What are the most important qualities in becoming a successful USMA cadet? 250-500 words
2 - - An USMA cadet is... - ...live bywith the basic concept... - ...commitment that a cadet has to the...
UndergraduateCandidate - Aug 11, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 18, 2015
|Visas to America - obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life
3 - - Arriving to American , -...words carefully;, ( be careful of your punctuation marks, this is minor remarks but...
Undergraduatevanngoc3598 - Aug 12, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 18, 2015
|My whole life I've beaten the odds; Fsu essay
UndergraduateAlterdn - Oct 15, 2013 / justivy03 - Aug 18, 2015
|'to be a leader in the colossal shark tank of the corporate world' - Texas A&M 2016 application
2 - Hello, I would like to help you with the first paragraph of your essay. When I read the first...
Undergraduateabbyjonesss - Aug 16, 2015 / lcturn87 - Aug 16, 2015
|Challenging transition - College essay/personal statement
Undergraduatep13p3ng - Aug 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 15, 2015
|Low self esteem and insecurity - 'obstacles in your life' essay
3 - - ...one often only considers the external conflicts faced. - Low self esteem and insecurity are common to many...
Undergraduatecocowing - Aug 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 15, 2015
|How you see your future - your goals and ambitions? Predicting can be difficult due to many factors.
3 - - Predicting one's future can be difficult considering the many factors that can affect.. - ...typical answer:, to get...
Undergraduatejohnnygu - Aug 5, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 15, 2015
|Clash of different experiences. Essay for college admissions.
2 - -...was accompanied by the wondrous possibility of a job. - I don't mean every other Tuesday he would offer...
UndergraduateBreanne1398 - Aug 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Aug 15, 2015
|Don't Dwell on things out of your control. Common app prompt #2.
2 - 1. sports are VERY overdone. of course, stick with what you believe in. But i'd also consider other alternatives...
UndergraduateCVN - Aug 14, 2015 / soniap55 - Aug 14, 2015
|I qualified for the DECA International Career Development Conference in Atlanta - transition essay
Undergraduatedecakid - Aug 5, 2015 / decakid - Aug 7, 2015
|List of questions. Could anyone correct my study plan?
2 - Hello, I will help you with some of your essay. I will focus on your first question. Question...
UndergraduateAnkur_112 - Aug 6, 2015 / lcturn87 - Aug 6, 2015
|UT Austin Transfer - Statement of Purpose (Topic A) - "For a Short While, We Were Legion"
2 - Your first sentence should be a hook like : "While everyone was walking the row to get their diploma,...
UndergraduateThedarkestdawn - Aug 4, 2015 / krobledo226 - Aug 5, 2015
|Goal - to explore the great big world that lies around us; University of Oregon application essay
3 - Ever since I can remember I have been fascinated by the idea of exploring the great big world that...
UndergraduateAlphabitch - Aug 5, 2015 / krobledo226 - Aug 5, 2015
|Stanford short ECA Essay: Musical Passion
Undergraduatelazycuriosity - Aug 4, 2015 / lazycuriosity - Aug 4, 2015
|Think about the person you admire. What qualities does that person have that are admirable?
Undergraduatechibichan - Jul 28, 2015 / lcturn87 - Aug 4, 2015
|My contribution to Pomona College's comes from my own life experiences.
5 - I agree with @MSP1998 You should completely delete 1st para. Also, additionally, instead of diversifying your essay...
Undergraduatekrobledo226 - Jul 30, 2015 / Xuraj - Aug 1, 2015
|How my activities can allow me to become a great enginner - applytexas topic c
UndergraduateKilleener - Aug 1, 2015 / ChristineB - Aug 1, 2015
|Awkward relationship with my uncle - ApplyTexas Essay Topic B
4 - Thank you guys for the feedback. Based on the feedback, I revised my third paragraph in a completely different...
UndergraduateKilleener - Jul 28, 2015 / Killeener - Aug 1, 2015
|University reinstatement letter after 10+ years
UndergraduateEEBound - Jul 31, 2015 / EEBound - Jul 31, 2015
|Mexican and Arabian - two best friends. Diversity from a different perspective. College APP
4 - Hi, krobledo226 again !! Actually, I focused on grammar because I felt that it's exhausting to consider the...
Undergraduatekrobledo226 - Jul 30, 2015 / Dawn01 - Jul 30, 2015
|My reflection on My Brilliant Life; the supplement essay for Boston College
3 - I can help you with you writing. When I looked at the first word, I noticed a misspelling. The...
Undergraduatethaisontrinh - Jul 29, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jul 29, 2015
|Acceptance essay to the Illinois Art Institute of Chicago
3 - thank you justivy03! that was very helpful. how should i detail my strengths though? im not even sure what...
Undergraduatedreamerowl - Jul 29, 2015 / dreamerowl - Jul 29, 2015
|Common App Question: What problem you'd like solved and steps to get solution
5 - Thank you so much @justivy03! Do you think the introduction is a little bit too much or is it...
Undergraduatehashwindersingh - Jul 28, 2015 / hashwindersingh - Jul 28, 2015
|College expectations, before attending it
4 - My reccommendation is to not use the term "things" as often. I mean, you can't always find a substitution...
Undergraduateclarinesukamto - Jul 27, 2015 / hashwindersingh - Jul 28, 2015
|Being a Korean immigrant - ApplyTexas Essay Topic A
3 - 1st paragraph; - "I'll never get be able to fit into the American culture". -.. I feared most of...
UndergraduateKilleener - Jul 25, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 26, 2015
|USNA Candidate essay - to achieve my dreams of serving in the navy
3 - - Growing up with Nepali parents of Nepali descent who.. - devote my life and to onebe of service....
UndergraduateCandidate - Jul 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 24, 2015
|Windows on Williams - My Neighborhood and its impact
UndergraduateYvette12 - Jul 12, 2015 / masaji - Jul 23, 2015
|'The pain is temporary' - David's United States Naval Academy Personal Statement Essay
4 - Your essay is just two paragraphs, each one answering a question. What you need is proper form. You could...
Undergraduatedavidsrosario0 - Jul 17, 2015 / EF_Carol - Jul 20, 2015
|Naval Academy Senator letter
3 - - I believe that my contagious fervorundying commitment in ( I choose this words because "contagious" seemed like a...
Undergraduateryanj928 - Jul 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 19, 2015
|Among the Very Few; Why do you wish to participate in Semester at Sea as a gap year student?
Undergraduatemichaelaowen - Jul 14, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 17, 2015
|Selflessness - I hope I would make my papa proud. Common Application
Undergraduatedam22 - Jul 12, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jul 16, 2015
|STELLAR ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE IN THE AISSE - Penn State Application Personal Statement
3 - I revised it and changed the conclusion and excluded the details you told me to. Still, its 650 words....
UndergraduateNilesh99 - Jul 15, 2015 / Nilesh99 - Jul 16, 2015
|Escaping the labyrinth-college application essay
Undergraduatedevyanisawant - Jul 15, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jul 15, 2015
|Because of a video game someone's online and off-line social life may be ruined. College Admission.
2 - Hi Alleged, first you did not introduce your topic properly-- you can introduce like- Integrating with people...
UndergraduateAlleged - Jul 13, 2015 / Junisha111p - Jul 13, 2015
|'Who is the person you dream of becoming'; Syracuse Newhouse Common app supplement prompts
3 - - I dream of becoming a better leader, a better innovator, a better intellectualindividual ( I believe you mean...
Undergraduateqcstudent - Jul 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 9, 2015
|Common App essay - My story of escaping persecution and moving to the USA
UndergraduateOutlooker - Jul 6, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 9, 2015
|Reflection of my internship experience
NEW - Please check for my grammar usage and also the awkward expression. I would appreciate greatly for every comment and...
UndergraduateSpecialOne - Jul 8, 2015 / — -
|'my sense of needing to give back to the community I live in' - PEACE CORPS Motivation Statement
3 - - Whether it was rescuing them from spiders in the back of their bunk or cheering them on when...
UndergraduateCarrieG - Jul 3, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 6, 2015
|So why would I pick the University of Texas? Simple. Because of the computer science program.
3 - KnightofGondor, WELCOME to EssayForum!!! Let me try to help out; - "As a homeschooled individual, I've always...
UndergraduateKnightOfGondor - Jul 2, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 6, 2015
|Encounter with the slums - Significant Experience Essay
3 - ThatFilipinoKid, WELCOME to EssayForum, it's nice to hear that our EF Family is growing and you as a member...
UndergraduateThatFilipinoKid - Jun 30, 2015 / justivy03 - Jul 2, 2015
|Stepping stone - help looking over my Motivation Statement for the Peace Corps.
3 - Okay, this paragraph is not bad in terms of content. In fact, I really like this paragraph. Good job!...
Undergraduatemkiflai - Jun 30, 2015 / lightfox - Jun 30, 2015
|"Psychology wasn't my first choice" - UC transfer personal statement
3 - Deftpunk, WELCOME to Essayforum Family!!! Here's my help on your application. - To tell the truthHonestly ,...
UndergraduateDeftpunk - Jun 26, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 28, 2015
|Regretful moment when you chose not to speak up
UndergraduateAvyrene - Jun 27, 2015 / Avyrene - Jun 27, 2015
|Why go to university? A great environment for us to learn and grow up.
3 - Water Buffalo, I think wadpk had some great suggestions for you. I'm going to add to his/her assessment by...
UndergraduateWater Buffalo - Jun 27, 2015 / ChristineB - Jun 27, 2015
|The recipe for NYU, a missing ingredient which bring back this school on track to its future success
Undergraduategiasilahian - Jun 25, 2015 / giasilahian - Jun 26, 2015
|I was enthralled by the things I saw in the USA for the first time in my life - Personal Statement
2 - I can help suggest some changes you can make to your essay. When you begin the essay, you should...
UndergraduateThenewimmigrant - Jun 26, 2015 / lcturn87 - Jun 26, 2015
|I do believe in the evolution theory which may contrast with my religion voices - personal statement
Undergraduateesahn9405 - Jun 25, 2015 / shintacandrade - Jun 25, 2015
|Notre Dame 'good story' essay: 150 eye-catching words.
3 - -A shame, really, to transition from pansophical I'm not sure what you'd like to say but I'm guessing you...
Undergraduateodall9876 - Jun 21, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 23, 2015
|The job you like when you finish your education.
2 - - Of all the jobs I have known, marketermarketing is perhaps the one I think about after my graduation....
Undergraduateennyug - Jun 15, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 17, 2015
|English is a key to open the door to the outside world - essay with reasons why learn this language.
4 - cultural and economic exchanges between countries causes us have to learnt= cultural and economic exchanges between countries lead to...
Undergraduateennyug - Jun 13, 2015 / M19O09F11 - Jun 15, 2015
|TASK 2: Children are supposed to start their schools at the age of four
2 - - Education is the first aspect to create human's quality. This sentence puzzled me a bit, what do you...
UndergraduateAdhisti - Jun 13, 2015 / justivy03 - Jun 13, 2015
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