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|"There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk." CommonApp Transfer
5 - Thanks for the feedback everyone! How about the revisions I did? Tried to focus more on the progression, less...
UndergraduatePeaKay - Jan 3, 2015 / PeaKay - Jan 4, 2015
|Cooking for family - it means the world to me, I won't let that opportunity pass.
7 - Thanks for letting me know that you had already discussed your mom's situation in other essay prompts. That makes...
Undergraduatecosag96 - Jan 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 4, 2015
|A time when I had to tutor a teenager of different background
4 - Alright, the way I see it, then answer you have written for the prompt is quite shallow and does...
Undergraduatesampunk9494 - Dec 17, 2014 / vangiespen - Jan 4, 2015
|'Supersize Me' - I spent days digesting information on health policies around the world
4 - Yes, this is definitely a better version than the first draft that you wrote. You were able to successfully...
Undergraduatestretchthelimit - Jan 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 4, 2015
|One Idea Question for Application to Architectural Studies in UBC
2 - The biggest problem with your essay is that you are talking about an event in the past using present...
Undergraduatekrisfsy - Jan 4, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 4, 2015
|Tell us about an experience, in school or out, that caused you to rethink or change your perspective
UndergraduateJichengwen - Jan 4, 2015 / Jichengwen - Jan 4, 2015
|I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect - UBC Essay
Undergraduatesaifsre - Jan 3, 2015 / Jichengwen - Jan 4, 2015
|If I had one super power, it would be the ability to control time. Hotchkiss Essay
Undergraduatenarryotp - Jan 3, 2015 / narryotp - Jan 4, 2015
|Common Core-major domestic issue in the U.S - Sophie Davis Supplement
2 - Considering that the United States is lagging behind the other nations of the world in terms of educational attainment...
Undergraduatewai019 - Jan 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 4, 2015
|My first orthodontic appointment was the time when I realized I want to pursue a career in dentistry
5 - Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions! I revised one of the paragraphs to hopefully describe the reason dentistry appeals...
Undergraduatewai019 - Jan 2, 2015 / wai019 - Jan 3, 2015
|The old physics teacher and his life lesson...
2 - You can explain how despite his illness he still appeared strong and happy, and then say how that is...
Undergraduatemaximu5 - Jan 3, 2015 / wai019 - Jan 3, 2015
|I unknowingly steered myself into despicable people and lost myself in the crowd.
2 - I am not sure if you really want to be discussing the fact that you previously plagiarized an essay...
Undergraduatekristinaaj2 - Jan 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2015
|Developing new kinds of materials is a significant part of a chemical engineers job
2 - Your essay is quite effective in the way that it answers the prompt. You have provided us with a...
Undergraduatesamkazmi - Jan 3, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2015
|Firstly, I would look to get a job at a renowned chemical company such as DuPont
4 - Changed it completely. How do you plan to use your engineering degree to benefit society? As a...
Undergraduatesamkazmi - Jan 2, 2015 / samkazmi - Jan 3, 2015
|Diligent, temperate, open-minded, scrupulous thinker, crossover of East and West. Short answers
2 - in the events part, cut off the "there happened to be 2 events" waste of words. "Summer 2013" instead...
Undergraduatemaximu5 - Jan 3, 2015 / cosag96 - Jan 3, 2015
|One "Personal" Word - UChicago Supplement
21 - As I recall, we already edited this essay in the past. Why are you asking to have it reviewed...
UndergraduateAlinaSkripets - Oct 11, 2014 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2015
|Unique Flavor to NYU - NYU AD Prompt - What can NYU offer you and what can you offer NYU
7 - Thank you, Vangiespen. I really appreciate all the feedback you've given me. I did shorten the first two paragraphs...
Undergraduatezeeconomist - Dec 29, 2014 / zeeconomist - Jan 3, 2015
|The secret: on the 8th floor of the Michigan University is a place only children are privy to.
4 - I have the same thoughts as Regina on this. However, while we feel confused by the imagery of the...
UndergraduateKasamira - Dec 23, 2014 / stretchthelimit - Jan 3, 2015
|Common App; The word suicide -- as I later found out -- is passed around in hushed voices
Undergraduatejayunch - Dec 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Jan 3, 2015
|Singapore's MRT train - really all you could do is to wait patiently for your destination.
2 - It is good that you can reflect with such detail upon the learning experience that you have on the...
Undergraduatestretchthelimit - Jan 2, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2015
|Jade Bracelet - "It's not even modern! Why should I ever wear that!"
7 - Well this certainly paints a clear picture of the central development of your identity. While I still feel that...
UndergraduateDinoRules - Dec 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2015
|A computer engineering degree will enable me to explore much of the world; Life Goals APPLY TEXAS
9 - The new conclusion works very well with the earlier parts of the essay. You have managed to create a...
Undergraduateciennalongwood - Dec 22, 2014 / vangiespen - Jan 2, 2015
|Dreams about a medical profession - I'm ambitious to expanding my knowledge about biology at Queen's
2 - Is there a word limit? If you have extra space maybe you can research the program you are interested...
UndergraduateDcousins - Jan 2, 2015 / wai019 - Jan 2, 2015
|The life of a middle class family is like a roller coaster - my 1st essay for transfer application.
5 - Thanks for your suggestions on my essay. I agree on the previous comment. This is the question of University...
Undergraduatedash - Dec 26, 2014 / veronica1 - Jan 2, 2015
|I'm from southern suburbia bless your heart's and country music blasting from the muddy pickup truck
Undergraduateclamalva33 - Dec 31, 2014 / clamalva33 - Jan 2, 2015
|Stanford Short Answers: So they can get to know me better.
7 - For books and publications, I think you still have the ability to add some names so that you let...
Undergraduatemartin16 - Dec 18, 2014 / TheBestK - Jan 2, 2015
|Stanford roommate Essay-With me, you will never enter the wrong room
2 - Very good selection of words. You can also add , that you can learn somethings from your rommie. As...
Undergraduateveronica1 - Jan 2, 2015 / dash - Jan 2, 2015
|As I matured I experienced increasing stress in combination with a lack of sleep. CommonApp
UndergraduateElaschanzky - Nov 21, 2014 / gsikka - Jan 2, 2015
|"Akari" - "Do you like Japanese boys?"
Undergraduatetaura - Dec 30, 2014 / taura - Jan 1, 2015
|Rice University never crossed my mind at any point when I imagined myself in college
Undergraduateben_may440 - Jan 1, 2015 / maximu5 - Jan 1, 2015
|My interest in SU ignited when my twin sister and I resided with my elder sister in her house.
UndergraduateLunarEclipse - Jan 1, 2015 / ben_may440 - Jan 1, 2015
|Digging deeper beneath the surface opens a pathway to innovation. Cornell's College Application
Undergraduatekeylijosselyn - Jan 1, 2015 / keylijosselyn - Jan 1, 2015
|Can't choose essay; 3 supplement prompts are asking me to evaluate on an extra curricular activity
Undergraduateben_may440 - Jan 1, 2015 / machyjoy - Jan 1, 2015
|Some individuals spend their entire lives struggling with their personal identity - UWC Application
Undergraduatecvega - Jan 1, 2015 / cvega - Jan 1, 2015
|Wanting to escape the news of my parents splitting up, I went to get the only that can cheer me up.
UndergraduateRantahu - Jan 1, 2015 / Rantahu - Jan 1, 2015
|You're drinking Starbucks? Stereotypical ignorant white girl. It's probably not even actual coffee.
UndergraduateElaschanzky - Jan 1, 2015 / Elaschanzky - Jan 1, 2015
|Feeling sheltered is not the worst thing in the world, but it definitely isn't the best. Why NYU?
2 - Yes, indeed you only answer the first half of question. I think that you need to discuss what you...
Undergraduatetakinwe124 - Jan 1, 2015 / Boa503 - Jan 1, 2015
|From 2015 ability to buy or sell unhealthy snacks and drinks at school has been removed
3 - Good topic but this seems way too expository, like you're just listing off something. I agree with nkp28 that...
Undergraduatekamen15 - Jan 1, 2015 / takinwe124 - Jan 1, 2015
|Camp Nou. It was the first time when I watched the Spanish national football derby, "El Clásico".
2 - I really think you get a clear understanding of your personality from this and you are able to clearly...
UndergraduateShannonLin - Jan 1, 2015 / nkp28 - Jan 1, 2015
|C for commitment (Lehigh University-if your name were an acronym)
5 - I could be wrong, but I was under the impression (having just read the prompt) that each letter was...
Undergraduatecpme1997 - Dec 31, 2014 / Elaschanzky - Jan 1, 2015
|Lego retailer at Ebay; "Would you like to place your order?" "Yes" - Stern business school
4 - Thanks! However, my essay is still around 60 words extra. Can you or someone help me delete any sentences...
UndergraduateDslash - Jan 1, 2015 / Dslash - Jan 1, 2015
|The Fashion of Business - 'some atypical decisions could spark a change for the better'
3 - Thanks so much for the advice! The actual essay is going to be explaining how my journey in fashion...
UndergraduateRP27 - Jan 1, 2015 / RP27 - Jan 1, 2015
|"I don't feel you're well suited for the role of the King"; essay about a time I experienced failure
3 - I like this, but you need to focus more on your transformation rather than setting the scene on your...
Undergraduatebathunter3 - Jan 1, 2015 / nkp28 - Jan 1, 2015
|'resource limitation has always been a problem for me' - New York City - Why Columbia
8 - New York City. I had to self-train my debate team by finding private sponsors to conduct activities because...
Undergraduatemelramadhani - Dec 27, 2014 / Dslash - Jan 1, 2015
|Princeton Supplement: Liberation from the Social Machine
Undergraduatebasicb - Jan 1, 2015 / grcpark7 - Jan 1, 2015
|'Just as an artist' - my vision is to bring a new style of business to NYU and then the world
UndergraduatePinoyPride97 - Jan 1, 2015 / PinoyPride97 - Jan 1, 2015
|A Film - How I lead a film project and what I have learnt
UndergraduateName - Jan 1, 2015 / ben_may440 - Jan 1, 2015
|Few years passed with no significant improvement in the language of Mongolian.
2 - This sentence is repetitive. You say you spent days and night reading, and then add 'without end' I...
Undergraduatemaximu5 - Jan 1, 2015 / Name - Jan 1, 2015
|Acronym for me - R.E.D has been a wild roller coaster of indescribable experiences.
Undergraduateben_may440 - Dec 31, 2014 / leiya0920 - Jan 1, 2015
|I was different because I had a sister - Identity essay.
UndergraduateBoa503 - Dec 30, 2014 / leiya0920 - Jan 1, 2015
|Books for pleasure / Eragon's impact - CMU
UndergraduateGuessit - Dec 31, 2014 / Guessit - Jan 1, 2015
|SmartCase of any color or any print, the back made out of durable gorilla glass-like material
3 - thank you! I was considering doing something like that for the second essay, but I wasn't sure where to...
Undergraduatetech_girl - Jan 1, 2015 / tech_girl - Jan 1, 2015
|When you meet someone for the first time, what you want them to know about you? Dartmouth Supplement
6 - Actually now that i read it again i can see the three sections. But yes make it more clearer,...
Undergraduateedajtm - Dec 31, 2014 / ciennalongwood - Dec 31, 2014
|"The study of mathematics, like the Nile, begins in minuteness but ends in magnificence"
3 - Great and clear writing! In the second paragraph, I think you could change all the "I would.." into...
UndergraduateBoa503 - Dec 31, 2014 / edajtm - Dec 31, 2014
|Heavy use of photoshopped images can cause serious emotional, mental and physical health issues
6 - Thanks! That's a relief. And in regards to the "99%", I read that stat online but I couldn't find...
Undergraduatecvega - Dec 31, 2014 / cvega - Dec 31, 2014
|A CREATIVE RESPONSE TO POMONA SUPP. - A MOCK SYLLABUS
Undergraduatekeavdarapper - Dec 31, 2014 / HopefulHoya2015 - Dec 31, 2014
|My inspiration board - "English at Vassar" was displayed under a picture of Anne Hathaway
2 - I like your essay! It's just unclear what your realization concerning Meryl Streep is. Did she also go to...
Undergraduatemelissae - Dec 31, 2014 / clamalva33 - Dec 31, 2014
|I had started taking Acting for Film class at the Walnut street theatre - Vassar application
Undergraduatemelissae - Dec 31, 2014 / keavdarapper - Dec 31, 2014
|I've always found the term Alien offensive not because it's malicious
5 - Thanks it did have a big impact on me. I attempted to make my Brown supplement different, but could...
Undergraduateben_may440 - Dec 31, 2014 / ben_may440 - Dec 31, 2014
|Eradicating Misogyny One School at a Time
3 - wowo this is a really good essay! i love how you connected everything in a fluid manner. You kept...
Undergraduateclamalva33 - Dec 31, 2014 / ciennalongwood - Dec 31, 2014
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