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|I have learned not to give up, keep trying and learn from my mistakes
Undergraduatebillythegoat - Sep 5, 2013 / Vns9x - Feb 19, 2015
|I was working as a Supervisor of Information Unit in the training and community service center
3 - Thank you Dear Vns9x I updated your suggestions: "I am one of those who interested and aspiring to get...
Undergraduatesami201 - Feb 19, 2015 / sami201 - Feb 19, 2015
|I was always taught to write what I know and put my experiences in a way others could relate to
4 - as far as i know, you can put a powerful quote (from an important figure) that relates to the...
Undergraduatedisaacs38 - Feb 18, 2015 / karchkarch - Feb 18, 2015
|"Inventories can be managed, but people must be led." Essay on Leadership
3 - Hi, I agree with Vns9x's comments. Here are some other comments: "Inventories can be managed, but people must...
Undergraduatemasktaz - Feb 16, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 18, 2015
|Bard College Berlin transfer - how becoming bilingual changed my life
2 - Hello! First, to answer your question about the length. If the minimum is 250 words, ideally I would try...
Undergraduateseaweed77 - Feb 13, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Feb 17, 2015
|Embrace anything and everything - even unexpected
2 - Hello Dear, I would like to take the opportunity to provide you feedback on your answer. First of all,...
Undergraduatewonderland - Feb 15, 2015 / budhesh28 - Feb 17, 2015
|Disappointment with an initial dream school, a dreary social life, homesickness, and pricey colleges
2 - Hi there! I think your essay was very good. You elaborate your reasons and objectives very well. As...
Undergraduatelacy - Feb 16, 2015 / tantadedanaan - Feb 16, 2015
|'I always perceive the grass was greener on the other side' - UW-Madison
2 - Overall, the tone of the essay is unlikely to resonate well with the person who will be reviewing. It...
Undergraduatewertypoiuys - Feb 13, 2015 / EF_Sheri - Feb 15, 2015
|The transition is frightening, really. However, I remain unchanged.
Undergraduatewonderland - Feb 14, 2015 / Dev4444 - Feb 15, 2015
|"Inquiry and knowledge have always guided me..." - Queen's PSE Engineering
2 - "At Queen's University, I will expand upon these skills further inwith the help of my academic and extracurricular activities."...
Undergraduatejcamp - Feb 14, 2015 / wonderland - Feb 15, 2015
|Becoming the Girl I've Always Wanted To Be--Common App Transfer Essay
2 - Your essay should have opening paragraph and ending one to show the readers what you want to say and...
UndergraduateSparkle5506 - Feb 13, 2015 / hunhann - Feb 14, 2015
|Switzerland is the place where I want to study. Study plan for Glion Higher School of Education.
2 - Hi, overall your essay sounded a little unorganized. You seem to go back and forth from topic to topic...
UndergraduateSamSegal - Feb 11, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 14, 2015
|Time is my biggest fear. It goes but never comes. It flies but never slows SCAD Statement of Purpose
2 - Your story is quite touching Davies. It is enough to tug on the heart strings of the admissions officers...
UndergraduateSadieLady - Feb 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Feb 13, 2015
|Everything started from computer for my eldest brother - My Devotion to technology
UndergraduateMisael - Feb 11, 2015 / Vns9x - Feb 11, 2015
|A Responsible Citizen - Creative Personal Statement
Undergraduateaber96crombie - Feb 11, 2015 / TJLuschen - Feb 11, 2015
|Sparky - the friend that changes the way I perceive things. University of Wisconsin-Madison essay
3 - Alright, thanks for your honest opinion, I'm also hesitating whether to submit this essay or not, time to revamp...
Undergraduatewertypoiuy - Feb 8, 2015 / wertypoiuy - Feb 11, 2015
|"You've got a great road ahead, sweetheart" - Transfer essays for MIT
3 - Thank you very much! I've edited the first one a bit: "You've got a great road ahead, sweetheart," my...
UndergraduateKaterynaPS - Feb 9, 2015 / KaterynaPS - Feb 11, 2015
|Why Don't I Have Baby Pictures? - essay about experience in my life
2 - Hi I enjoyed reading your essay :) and the following just represents my own opinion: On that Thursday morning,...
UndergraduateDavieThao - Feb 9, 2015 / Anonymous630 - Feb 11, 2015
|Taekwondo has changed my life completely!
2 - Hello Daniel, its nice to see a foreigner so devoted in my countries sport! (Yes, I am Korean) I...
Undergraduatemrdanny090 - Feb 10, 2015 / kibz95 - Feb 10, 2015
|An Unbreakable Bond - the loss of a friend can destroy a life and change someone's perspective
Undergraduateuhlizza - Feb 10, 2015 / uhlizza - Feb 10, 2015
|Be ambitious in my dreams and daring in my actions -- Queen's Commerce SE
3 - Hi Jennifer, I appreciate your suggestions very much!:） The thing is that I find it hard to describe the...
UndergraduateAnonymous630 - Feb 10, 2015 / Anonymous630 - Feb 10, 2015
|Exploring the hills of Himalayas in the North to vast beaches of the south - undergraduate course
NEW - In a 400-500 word essay, please describe how your personal experience and your cultural heritage have shaped the person...
Undergraduatehscmeinme - Feb 10, 2015 / — -
|"Being different to make a difference"-U of Washington Int. Transfer Personal Statement
3 - Hi Jenny, thank you for your helpful feedback. 1. Honestly, my statement should be "I used to dread...
Undergraduateanthonysw - Feb 4, 2015 / anthonysw - Feb 10, 2015
|I was probably one of the most timid person in high school. UCLA Supplement Essay #2
2 - From reading this, you have an "OK" essay so far as to submit for your special circumstances. But if...
Undergraduatebbennett97 - Feb 8, 2015 / DavieThao - Feb 9, 2015
|It is an honor if I can give a hand to celebrate 100 years establishment ceremony of business school
Undergraduatelnguyen67 - Feb 7, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Feb 7, 2015
|I'm particularly interested in quantum physics - Summer Science Program Short Answers
4 - Thank you so much!!!! Sorry to tag this thread as Graduate. This is actually an application for a high...
Undergraduate970146hc - Feb 5, 2015 / 970146hc - Feb 6, 2015
|My Father taught me the meaning of generosity, the importance of excellence and the value of honesty
UndergraduateBenzerk - Feb 5, 2015 / Benzerk - Feb 5, 2015
|Gymnastics and I - 'Lunch never failed to make my stomach ache with butterflies'
Undergraduatesrose - Feb 3, 2015 / srose - Feb 4, 2015
|Everyone has a strength and a weakness - a superpower (mine is perseverance) and a kryptonite
3 - You don't really provide support for your opening paragraph. I would recommend adding more specific examples. Over all, it...
Undergraduatemarissa - Jan 23, 2015 / srose - Feb 3, 2015
|Making the world a better place, even for the underprivileged drives - why I chose this program?
Undergraduatealiredha - Feb 2, 2015 / aliredha - Feb 3, 2015
|'early desire to visit beautiful places' - Study Abroad Personal Expectations, and why Hong Kong?
NEW - Please address the following in an approximately 750 word personal statement: - What are your personal expectations for study...
Undergraduatexnightly - Feb 3, 2015 / — -
|Johns Hopkins additional essay: Why JHU? - because of it fame and its industrious envrionment
3 - Thank you for your last comment. I have just revised my essay. Please take a look Johns Hopkins University...
Undergraduatemyngoc311 - Jan 29, 2015 / myngoc311 - Feb 2, 2015
|'countless educational programs offered' - Education among the American society - UT Transfer essay
7 - here is a revision of the opening paragraph and the fourth paragraph (states what needs to be changed): ...
UndergraduateAndrewB - Jan 23, 2015 / AndrewB - Feb 2, 2015
|Chemistry sparked my first friendship - Johns Hopkins University essay
6 - Ngoc, there is just something uncomfortable about the way your essay reads. It seems like it is trying too...
Undergraduatemyngoc311 - Jan 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Feb 2, 2015
|I survived a storm (CommonApp Essay about self transformation - prompt #5)
Undergraduateaziz9507 - Jan 15, 2015 / aziz9507 - Feb 1, 2015
|Flex Path submission for WPI - I have created a portfolio exhibiting my artwork and sewing projects
3 - Thank you for your suggestions. I was having a hard time adding details because the common app had a...
UndergraduateKatiepegasus - Feb 1, 2015 / Katiepegasus - Feb 1, 2015
|I started out strong academically but later developed anxiety took a huge toll on my attendance
UndergraduateKatiepegasus - Feb 1, 2015 / Katiepegasus - Feb 1, 2015
|When I was college hunting, I put my eyes out for liberal arts colleges. Knox supplemental essay.
2 - Okay, it was a bad idea to simply cut and paste the mission, vision, and objectives of the university...
UndergraduateIbukun - Feb 1, 2015 / vangiespen - Feb 1, 2015
|'problem solving puzzles and mathematical problems' - Waterloo AIF SOFTWARE ENGINEERING program
2 - I think it's a great essay. But the part where you said 'I have always participated in technical projects...
Undergraduatedalvesta_a07 - Feb 1, 2015 / Ibukun - Feb 1, 2015
|I Love Coding - until the 8th grade my passion for computing started its journey
UndergraduateROYSRC - Jan 31, 2015 / ROYSRC - Feb 1, 2015
|The importance of human body for the mankind -My biomedical / biomaterial S.O.P
5 - Hello. here is another request . would you please reviewing my essay because I've been inform that my personal...
UndergraduateShima97 - Jan 23, 2015 / Shima97 - Feb 1, 2015
|"Here's your winner and new state champion" - Common app #2 Prompt
4 - Wow great essay! One grammar suggestion for you. When it says not smarter or biologically different, I believe...
UndergraduateTheBestK - Jan 29, 2015 / Katiepegasus - Feb 1, 2015
|Doing the Undoable - AMINEF - GLOBAL UGRAD U.S. Student Exchange Program.
NEW - AMINEF - GLOBAL UGRAD U.S. Student Exchange Program. Prompt:Essay Choice B: Using one or more examples, please describe...
Undergraduategfullbuster - Feb 1, 2015 / — -
|Instead of stylistic, I'm opting for a really realistic approach here - UIUC Essay
3 - The first essay was too direct and in your face in approach. It covered topics and reasons that are...
Undergraduateacewashere - Jan 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Feb 1, 2015
|"Plan ahead", "Better time management", "Always read the instruction first" - UBC personal profile.
2 - Depending upon the maximum word count for your response to the prompt, this is a very short essay. In...
UndergraduateEreec - Jan 31, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 31, 2015
|University of Minnesota (Twin cities) Why am I applying for chemical engineering?
3 - You need to answer the question specifically what your career goals are. Like what you hope to accomplish with...
Undergraduatemyngoc311 - Jan 27, 2015 / smunoz23 - Jan 31, 2015
|Describe a group project or experience that required collaboration - Soccer
2 - My obsession with soccer taught me a lot of real life lessons. For the past few years have played...
Undergraduatedulguun - Jan 30, 2015 / Vns9x - Jan 31, 2015
|Acting altruistic has allowed me to make the decision of making selflessness into a career.
4 - I can't afford to give any more advice away for free, other than this: Do you want the tired,...
Undergraduatebaileywashere2 - Jan 31, 2015 / bshieldsnc - Jan 31, 2015
|Nursing my way back to school - University of Washington Transfer Personal Statement
3 - New Version (Unfinished) Good design has to do more than just meticulously shaping the outside; rather it has...
Undergraduatejeffoh93 - Jan 19, 2015 / jeffoh93 - Jan 31, 2015
|U of M essay; After I graduate from high school, I had a 9 months term before entering to college.
2 - tenses are used incorrectly. You should begin with after I graduated (because you are talking about your past,...
Undergraduategksrnrdls11 - Jan 30, 2015 / confusee123 - Jan 31, 2015
|I close my eyes and see blue skies and luxuriant trees.I see sunlight and a sense of vitality...
3 - Thank you!!!!...
Undergraduateash__sin - Jan 7, 2015 / ash__sin - Jan 29, 2015
|Social Media and reflection - my stand on it and why university prompt
3 - Hopefully this answers the prompt, as the deadline is in 2 days. Any help on grammar, sentence structure,...
UndergraduateArachnid - Jan 26, 2015 / Arachnid - Jan 29, 2015
|'Chemistry and Psychology' - Waitlist Essay for UC Davis
Undergraduatepttash16 - Mar 25, 2012 / eftekharizade - Jan 29, 2015
|The older I become, the more I realize how attitude has an impact on life. Perfect for FIT
2 - On you third paragraph I would focus more on specifics. Give examples of (fashion show, or others you listed)...
Undergraduatemiltride - Jan 28, 2015 / bpierron67 - Jan 28, 2015
|"In the beginning was the boy" - CommonApp (too informal/ironic?)
2 - Brilliant approach but what prompt are you answering? It's great and i hope it answers the question being asked....
UndergraduateDerpina357 - Jan 1, 2012 / Prinz18 - Jan 27, 2015
|Despite the wide selection of universities, my choice was The American University in Cairo.
3 - Your first two paragraphs sound more like a brochure trying to sell the university than an insightful look into...
Undergraduateomarsamahy - Jan 27, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2015
|After I graduate, I will go back to my country and assist my aunt in managing her company.
2 - Yang, please consider revising your essay to cover the prompt in a more proper manner. The essay is not...
Undergraduatebilibili - Jan 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 27, 2015
|College Vs Career in Music: Why TRANSFER?
2 - There is information in your essay that should not be there at the moment. Trivia about the connection between...
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Mar 18, 2013 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2015
|My dad met with an accidents; Cornell/ Related experiences influenced my major
2 - Overall an effective essay in the sense that it clearly states the life experiences that you have head which...
Undergraduatej814wong - Jan 1, 2013 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2015
|Youths against Racism Conference. I decided to be the answer to the problem.
2 - JJ, what prompt are you trying to respond to with this statement? It would help me get a better...
UndergraduateJJLee - Jan 26, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 26, 2015
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