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|Being a native born Salvadorian has automatically injected diversity into my being
2 - Monica, my opinion is that you should go withe the second essay. The one that discusses diversity and offers...
Undergraduatemiraheta - Jan 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2015
|Assigned homework; My mark was awful! I felt like crying but I held myself.
4 - i tried to show how much the conflict affected me and contributing to the failure.. in other words,...
UndergraduateAbidK00 - Jan 15, 2015 / AbidK00 - Jan 15, 2015
|Unforgeteful Driving Experience - similar with an episode of spongebob squarepants
2 - The essay lacks a proper reflection upon the way the driving tests affected you. There is a disconnection in...
Undergraduateanwar akmal - Jan 15, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2015
|I crave to pop this suburban bubble, leave my familiar environment, and experience change
2 - Okay. The essay does not really offer the answer that prompt requires. Have you given any thought to further...
Undergraduatesgm0328 - Jan 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2015
|The eighth and ninth years of my life were plagued with walkers, canes, and hospital visits.
2 - The story about how your father survived and your family was changed by the accident and the recovery of...
Undergraduatenhasan215 - Jan 14, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 15, 2015
|"Earth to Nicole! Are you there?" - My love and appreciation for music
2 - Okay, when the essay asks you to consider something that you perceive goes unnoticed, what that means is that...
Undergraduatestretchthelimit - Jan 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 14, 2015
|Contributing to the Bryn Mawr Community - college with rigorous intellectual stimulation
2 - What you have given are simple introductions to your academic and extra curricular interests. As introductions, these are alright,...
UndergraduatePtiwari - Jan 13, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 14, 2015
|I've spent my time seeing what's happening in the world from different perspectives. Why Lang?
3 - Thanks Kevin! i fixed some of the issues, but please take notice that i didn't abound too much because...
UndergraduateCamilabido - Jan 13, 2015 / Camilabido - Jan 14, 2015
|There came a time in my life when I absolutely hated my mother.
Undergraduatemiraheta - Jan 12, 2015 / miraheta - Jan 14, 2015
|My primary goal is to major in mass communications and get involved in the field of journalism
2 - I don't think your stated primary goal is really the primary goal. : ) What is the real goal?...
Undergraduatebriannaasalways - Jan 12, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Jan 14, 2015
|I founded my first own company at age 15; my main inspiration was the gray city I live in
2 - only the clashing of beliefsthe contrast in beliefs will set forth new ideas While other universities may as...
Undergraduatejbuddenberg - Jan 13, 2015 / miraheta - Jan 14, 2015
|'Computer Science Major'; Co-op program for student internships - Georgia Tech Short Essay
2 - Hi, I think I don't like the word 'boasts' in that first sentence because it has negative connotations. Maybe...
Undergraduaterfmoon - Jan 10, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Jan 14, 2015
|4 feet 10 inches faced, black eyes, brown hair, slender body and a little sense of humor
Undergraduatesohail110 - Jan 13, 2015 / sohail110 - Jan 14, 2015
|Studying in Japan, one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, is my dream
Undergraduateoui3280 - Jan 13, 2015 / miraheta - Jan 13, 2015
|Why Chapman? Because Leia likes it.
UndergraduateEmelyMorales - Dec 31, 2014 / miraheta - Jan 13, 2015
|A 500-word biography that outlines your educational and extracurricular interests.
2 - Ever since I can connect with reality, my fascination for the Arts was unlimited. If you are referring...
Undergraduateharold404 - Jan 11, 2015 / marissa - Jan 13, 2015
|Imagination - lazing around or dozing off at my grandmother's home
4 - hi @vangiespen, sorry for the long period of absence. i have read your comments and they make a lot...
Undergraduatejacko1985 - Jan 7, 2015 / jacko1985 - Jan 13, 2015
|Linkedin Statement - determination and drive to excel inside and outside the classroom
Undergraduatejuanmarman - Jan 10, 2015 / juanmarman - Jan 13, 2015
|Leadership is one of those qualities that everyone possesses - UGA: Admissions Philosophy Statement
NEW - The UGA faculty has determined that the student body should demonstrate the qualities listed in the Admissions Philosophy Statement....
Undergraduatesouthernbelle - Jan 13, 2015 / — -
|A Reed education will transform me into a more erudite person - Why Reed Essay
UndergraduateJYKHSH - Jan 10, 2015 / jbuddenberg - Jan 13, 2015
|Why Computer Science? (USC). All you do is sit in your room, type "ifs" and "elses", and compile.
Undergraduatemysteryswaggyp - Jan 12, 2015 / mysteryswaggyp - Jan 13, 2015
|I couldn't believe I was getting eyeliner put on me, never had I imagined this would happen.
Undergraduatedfulleriii - Jan 11, 2015 / dozazgirl - Jan 12, 2015
|Where did Highschool go? I feel as if my high school years passed me by in a blink of an eye
3 - I am already aware of what my major goals are that i plan to accomplish during my college experience....
Undergraduatemiraheta - Jan 12, 2015 / dozazgirl - Jan 12, 2015
|From running a company to a yearbook committee - my leadership abilities outshine the rest
2 - ... could not have done it alone. From operating graphic design workshops to giving constructive criticism to proofreading...
Undergraduateacupofcoffee - Jan 12, 2015 / Camilabido - Jan 12, 2015
|Having pink hair for the past two years has changed my outlook on life
4 - You have good ideas but I think they need to be more elaborated on. For instance, how was the...
Undergraduatemelaetu - Jan 12, 2015 / southernbelle - Jan 12, 2015
|Progress in one's life gives a person the caliber to do something for the others.
3 - The prompt is Georgia Tech motto is "Progress and Service". What does that means to you? I want...
Undergraduatehighschoolin - Jan 11, 2015 / highschoolin - Jan 12, 2015
|Someone influential in America - I chose John A. Lejeune. Experience and Initial Interest essay
2 - Your essay is very good so far. perhaps you could explain what it is about John A, Lejeune that...
UndergraduateCSchrout - Jan 12, 2015 / miraheta - Jan 12, 2015
|Dietetics major - "I was no R.D. I was just a daughter concerned for my father's obesity problem."
2 - I really like this, I think this is very well written and keeps the reader engaged and interested. Few...
Undergraduatestretchthelimit - Jan 12, 2015 / briannaasalways - Jan 12, 2015
|I was in a cheering sea of red - my first football game - essay about challenging situation
Undergraduatebriannaasalways - Jan 11, 2015 / briannaasalways - Jan 12, 2015
|"People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public."
2 - The smell of the new dyed walls thatfreshly painted walls conquered my nose, and the massive green garden which...
Undergraduatefs21 - Jan 11, 2015 / miraheta - Jan 12, 2015
|"No In Between", "I want to be different" I prayed - College Essay
3 - thanks for your input! i'm very aware that my essay sounds condescending and pretentious. Any suggestions as to how...
Undergraduatekennedymlhs - Jan 12, 2015 / kennedymlhs - Jan 12, 2015
|5 reasons why VT; study in a foreign country while working in research projects with professionals
Undergraduatestart47 - Jan 10, 2015 / admission2012 - Jan 12, 2015
|While studying at Queen's University, I hope to learn, live, and grow as a student.
2 - Whenever you are asked to discuss your time at a particular program and beyond, you should always try to...
Undergraduatemarissa - Jan 12, 2015 / admission2012 - Jan 12, 2015
|"worst mistakes" - at november 6, 1996 two twins were born
3 - Hi! This is a very moving story. It took an emotional turn in the middle part, which I didn't...
Undergraduatejatochi12 - Jan 9, 2015 / stretchthelimit - Jan 12, 2015
|Borderless World. Globalization is playing an increasingly important role in our lives these days.
Undergraduatekrokus - Jan 8, 2015 / krokus - Jan 12, 2015
|My involvement with MUN. Describe the highlights of your most important achievements, contributions.
2 - To condense this, take out unhelpful words. Writing is always improved when the same ideas are expressed in fewer...
Undergraduateanmay_dhanuka - Jan 8, 2015 / EF_Kevin - Jan 11, 2015
|I seek to be ready and primed for the next big chapter of my life - Common App Essay - VCU
Undergraduateaveiz100 - Jan 10, 2015 / briannaasalways - Jan 11, 2015
|Learning is what advances me throughout my life. Each day I learn more and more.
Undergraduatespencerkane - Jan 8, 2015 / huzefaa - Jan 10, 2015
|Wrote about Trip to Italy, made me want to be independent.. Common app essay - Background story
Undergraduatehuzefaa - Jan 8, 2015 / huzefaa - Jan 10, 2015
|My best friend, whom I love dearly, felt ashamed of being himself. He admitted to me that he is gay.
2 - The essay contains a number of punctuation issues that you must address. I would like you to review the...
UndergraduateRaissaLima - Jan 9, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 9, 2015
|I wake up everyday in the morning hoping to fulfill my desire to progress as a human being
Undergraduatedigvijaymore - Jan 9, 2015 / Trinity - Jan 9, 2015
|Family in Atlanta? Then upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is.
12 - The highly praised program of aerospace engineering is probably what inclined me towards Georgia tech the most. I had...
Undergraduatehuzefaa - Jan 7, 2015 / huzefaa - Jan 9, 2015
|Duke's campus, combined with Gothic-style and Georgian-style architecture, is unparalleled in beauty
Undergraduatecfes - Jan 8, 2015 / cfes - Jan 9, 2015
|At DubHacks my peers and I developed an application that helped drivers focus on their driving.
2 - Hello, halcyoncxd, Overall, excellent job on your essays. You utilized the terms which accompany CS and programming fields to...
Undergraduatehalcyoncxd - Jan 8, 2015 / tpannell77 - Jan 9, 2015
|Big cities are where you can see many people, cars, hospitals etc - there are many good universities
Undergraduateessaywriter123 - Jan 7, 2015 / essaywriter123 - Jan 8, 2015
|The key to a successful performance by a group depends largely on its dynamic and chemistry.
Undergraduatedeadpoolguy - Jan 8, 2015 / huzefaa - Jan 8, 2015
|Write about your personal and education background and what you expect from a university education
4 - Vangiespen Alright I understood what you meant to say, that I should write about MY idea of a college...
UndergraduateH_Abbasi97 - Jan 8, 2015 / H_Abbasi97 - Jan 8, 2015
|As a child my first favorite big word was paradox. The word offered both understanding and confusion
Undergraduatecollegevzd - Jan 8, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 8, 2015
|I know for sure that I will be a hard worker just like all the current Hokie students.
Undergraduatekevfigueroa - Jan 7, 2015 / rex32 - Jan 8, 2015
|'plethora of times where I thought that I couldn't go any further' - UCF application, influences?
2 - You didn't talk about your successes and why you know yourself a successful person till this last...
Undergraduatekatherine97 - Jan 7, 2015 / ssaallaamm - Jan 7, 2015
|"The beautiful diversity of multicultural enviroment" APU essay #1
2 - The first part of your essay sounds a lot more like a student brochure selling you on the positive...
Undergraduateindonesiaapu - Jan 7, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 7, 2015
|I had few matchpoints. How I met a failure in my tennis career
3 - Your essay comes across as very self-centric and shows the bruising of your ego very well. Letting the admissions...
Undergraduateind1900 - Jan 6, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 7, 2015
|A business degree is safe, right? That was my logic for deciding to study business at Adrian College
2 - The essay is very good. You transitioned between your ideas very well. I personally don't see anything really wrong...
UndergraduateDharrisGBC - Jan 7, 2015 / AndrewB - Jan 7, 2015
|Why Colgate - academic programs and diverse community
Undergraduatesampunk9494 - Jan 5, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 7, 2015
|"One never stops learning until one dies" USC academic interests essay by "Undeclared" major student
5 - Thank you so much for your insightful comments and suggestion! I really appreciate it and I will definitely look...
Undergraduatejinlin18 - Jan 6, 2015 / jinlin18 - Jan 7, 2015
|When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change
2 - Camila, you need not constantly introduce yourself in every common essay prompt that you write. You are not writing...
UndergraduateCamilabido - Jan 7, 2015 / vangiespen - Jan 7, 2015
|Change started to take place in my life when my father had to close his lifelong business.
6 - I think you can paint a very vivid picture of the kidnapping, and that may better illustrate the effect...
Undergraduateericpons - Dec 30, 2014 / nkp28 - Jan 7, 2015
|Why UChicago? Curiosity has always been the driving force in my life.
UndergraduateYithian - Jan 4, 2015 / Yithian - Jan 7, 2015
|defying the stereotypes or conforming to new ones?
14 - I think this essay is good, but you definitely can rephrase your words so that it is more effective....
Undergraduatelynn1997h - Jan 4, 2015 / Yithian - Jan 7, 2015
|Georgia Tech's motto is: "Progress and Service." What does that mean to you?
4 - It looks better now. Just one thing: you mentioned that service people are in the mind of making the...
UndergraduateBoa503 - Jan 6, 2015 / jacko1985 - Jan 7, 2015
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