|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 53 of 429|
|Mayo anecdote explaining a challenging situation
5 - It would be very possible to convert or redirect the essay into a response for a different essay prompt....
Undergraduatemiraheta - Dec 14, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 22, 2014
|An odd group of friends- Brown University Supplement Essay
8 - Thank you everyone for helping me out! Now I can place a tick next to "Brown" on my supplement...
Undergraduateleiya0920 - Dec 20, 2014 / leiya0920 - Dec 22, 2014
|Taking a risk and moving to Michigan - it teaches deeper knowledge than other universities
2 - OK. The first rule of application essay writing is, never repeat information about the university that they already know....
UndergraduateDethaiya - Dec 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 21, 2014
|"...what else makes you unique and colorful?" William and Mary Essay
4 - really just the very first paragraph about "the dreaded college essay" i like "but that's too dramatic, and dramatic...
Undergraduatedhizzy - Dec 21, 2014 / acrogirl5 - Dec 21, 2014
|Why Gun Rights Are a Huge Problem In Society
Undergraduatelkj6778 - Dec 21, 2014 / lkj6778 - Dec 21, 2014
|'serious familial event that occurred in my life' - I am writing a "what I overcame" essay.
UndergraduateMastodon97 - Dec 21, 2014 / Mastodon97 - Dec 21, 2014
|"This is my best friend, she's going to the Olympics" - I'm lost without gymnastics NYU Supplemental
3 - No corrections to the 1st paragraph, I pretty much see your connection between gymnastics and NYU. Use online thesauruses...
Undergraduateacrogirl5 - Dec 21, 2014 / lkj6778 - Dec 21, 2014
|New York bustles with millions of lives, each contributing to the city's own little universe
6 - It's very good, I would just give a little more about what you can offer NYU. Telling stories is...
Undergraduatekevpang - Dec 17, 2014 / acrogirl5 - Dec 21, 2014
|"The road that lead me to Brandeis University", Originally
UndergraduateTONYTIAN9 - Dec 21, 2014 / TONYTIAN9 - Dec 21, 2014
|"He who stays near vermilion gets stained red; he who stays near ink gets stained black" - My Story
UndergraduateSakifarhan - Dec 21, 2014 / acrogirl5 - Dec 21, 2014
|Cultural shock in Dubai; teach myself a new skill or concept
7 - Dear Vangiespen, I really appreciate for your help. Is there any grammar errors that I should correct in...
Undergraduatenicolezmh1997 - Dec 19, 2014 / nicolezmh1997 - Dec 21, 2014
|'the invention studio' - Georgia Tech Supplement: Why am I interested
3 - Wow! You actually managed to respond quite clearly, concisely, and accurately to the prompt in a mere 150 words....
Undergraduatesmm816 - Dec 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 21, 2014
|Intramurals. Amateur Astronomers Association. Theater. The question is, what can't NYU offer me?
3 - Your essay sounds more like the brochure for the university than a well thought out response essay. Here is...
UndergraduateSakifarhan - Dec 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 21, 2014
|NYU. A reality come true or just a dream school?- Help on my NYU supplement
5 - Hey, so firstly: I got rejected from NYU-Stern in ED. and secondly, "As a student, my most promising...
Undergraduatespyr0xs - Dec 17, 2014 / am291x - Dec 21, 2014
|"Hey, grandma, I've got something to tell you. I'm going to apply to US universities." Common App.
Undergraduatevlad7777 - Dec 21, 2014 / Maxbradley - Dec 21, 2014
|"Why Odd Numbers are Odd?" - Odd is sublime!
Undergraduatertan05 - Dec 20, 2014 / rtan05 - Dec 21, 2014
|'stop thinking unrealistically' If it's still on your mind, then it's worth taking the risk; Barnard
Undergraduateshnoobidoox3 - Dec 21, 2014 / shnoobidoox3 - Dec 21, 2014
|Glitter (Dance and Culture) - Princeton Supplement Essay
2 - Sheridan, your essay is quite informative and effective. I am just at a loss as to what cultural value...
Undergraduatesinkclap101 - Dec 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 21, 2014
|One particular incident changed me from being self-centered to being sensitive to others.
10 - Rhea, any of the essays can work for you. I cannot and should not choose the essay version that...
UndergraduateRhea97 - Dec 5, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 20, 2014
|"Attention to Detail" - the little things make up the picture - UW Madison
2 - Gabriela, you have written an essay response that would have worked if the prompt asked you to "Write an...
Undergraduategaby720946 - Dec 20, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 20, 2014
|"For every force there is a reaction force that is equal in size but opposite in direction"
2 - Udensi, you have not answered the prompt in the correct manner. You are supposed to specifically mention the subjects...
UndergraduateUdensi - Dec 20, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 20, 2014
|"Allowing you to travel on your own is the last sliver of the cake of childhood"; Failed trip to NYC
3 - No. Absolutely not. Please do not use this essay as your coming of age story. A coming of age...
Undergraduatesage28 - Dec 16, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|Humility leads people to fulfillment in the most authentic way possible - Transition into Adulthood
7 - Philipe, I happen to know someone who had a Bar mitzvah and I believe that aside from this actual...
UndergraduateCharphil - Dec 16, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|The sincerest of gestures can bring about the simplest of pleasures: a smile
Undergraduateasdfghjklyeah - Dec 15, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|Whenever someone asks me why I want to pursue medicine, I always reply that it's part of who I am
5 - This is a definite improvement Danah. You have managed to show us the contrasting worlds that you come from...
UndergraduateDanah96 - Dec 16, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|During my junior year in high school, I volunteered at an orphanage to teach English to the children
3 - Adonay, it is unfortunate that the final act that you chose to take in this particularly compelling and quite...
Undergraduateatothez1000 - Dec 17, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|IELTS writing task 1 - Main energy sources for Burnland, 2006
Undergraduatemkthanh - Dec 13, 2014 / ruwchii - Dec 19, 2014
|An idea that has been important to my intellectual development - multidisciplinary nature of subject
6 - This is certainly a tremendously well developed answer when your word count is taken into consideration. Please, feel free...
Undergraduatevoocatcher - Dec 15, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 19, 2014
|Vietnam seemed to be an atypical summer vacation destination - Common App Essay
10 - No problem! I actually think I may just scrap this essay all together. would you mind looking at my...
Undergraduatesage28 - Dec 9, 2014 / sage28 - Dec 19, 2014
|10 years reunion essay - Finding passion and happiness in a different country
NEW - Prompt. Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni...
Undergraduatewbasbc - Dec 18, 2014 / — -
|From the Window Seat; the train was a capsule that served an emotional and physical role in my life
Undergraduatemelissae - Dec 18, 2014 / melissae - Dec 18, 2014
|When I was a young boy, my grandfather used to say.....MIT supplement essay
UndergraduateMagmar00000 - Dec 17, 2014 / Magmar00000 - Dec 18, 2014
|What are you supposed to focus on in "10 years after graduation" essays?
2 - Hello, You should just talk about the various aspects of your life that you consider successful and how...
Undergraduatewbasbc - Dec 18, 2014 / admission2012 - Dec 18, 2014
|"The Wakeup Call"; I grew up in a house that values education and hard work. Common App essay
Undergraduateatothez1000 - Dec 14, 2014 / atothez1000 - Dec 17, 2014
|One glance out of the window, I saw the cornfields and palm trees speeding by - Women rights issue
2 - A very intriguing and strong story I feel that the link between your background and aspirations is very clear...
UndergraduateGhfdw17 - Dec 16, 2014 / sampunk9494 - Dec 17, 2014
|Give me a lever long enough, and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world; Why NWU
3 - Thanks a lot for your suggestion! I am thinking of mainly talking about the idea of whole-brain engineer. Cuz...
Undergraduateilovesam - Dec 16, 2014 / ilovesam - Dec 17, 2014
|One thing I can offer NYU is motivation for future students - NYU application essay
Undergraduateandrianna - Dec 16, 2014 / Anfalia - Dec 16, 2014
|'Struggling is what paves the golden path to success'; bring beliefs in the Sikh religion; NYU essay
2 - I really liked the first sentencie, but you only reconnected to it in the last paragraph when you simply...
Undergraduatetrod58 - Dec 16, 2014 / Charphil - Dec 16, 2014
|I have always been eager to go out and meet the world - To inspire and be inspired - FIT essay
33 - It is pretty much ready at this point. In my opinion, you can already submit this essay for consideration....
Undergraduateivnk - Dec 4, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2014
|"Peter Pan" - Piece of literature that has inspired you - UVA Supplemental Essay
4 - Thank you both for your lovely suggestions! I incorporated them both and now here is the new draft ...
Undergraduatesage28 - Dec 15, 2014 / sage28 - Dec 16, 2014
|The Power of Powerlessness application essay
4 - Alina, I am not a medical professional so I cannot advice you on those medical terms. If you used...
UndergraduateAlinaSkripets - Dec 15, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 16, 2014
|Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it - MIT ESSAY; BUSY LIFE AND ACTIVITY
7 - The essay you edited it good for the limited word count, but I have rearranged a few sentences to...
Undergraduatejagdeep5171 - Dec 14, 2014 / sage28 - Dec 16, 2014
|Carleton is powered my wind turbines. What empowers you? supplement essay
Undergraduategia - Dec 15, 2014 / gia - Dec 16, 2014
|I was waiting to fall in love, and my visit to Duke flipped me head-over-heels; supplement essay
5 - I think you need to be more specific. If you can replace the word duke with another colleges name,that...
Undergraduatetaura - Dec 15, 2014 / Ghfdw17 - Dec 16, 2014
|Collaborative Residential Community - how it inspires and draws me to Bates
5 - Thank you for helping me proofread! I appreciate your feedback and it really has been valuable to me!...
Undergraduatesampunk9494 - Dec 14, 2014 / sampunk9494 - Dec 15, 2014
|Why Swarthmore - commitment for diversity of opinions
Undergraduatesampunk9494 - Dec 15, 2014 / sampunk9494 - Dec 15, 2014
|Briefly describe a non-academic pursuit that best illustrates who you are, and why it is important
6 - Vanika. you actually have an interesting non-academic pursuit. The problem, is that most of the essay dealt with the...
UndergraduateVee15 - Dec 14, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 15, 2014
|Yale - reflect on something you would like us to know about you
4 - Hi, your grammar is fine throughout the essay. When you explained the deliberate steps you've taken after you...
Undergraduatefrodosb - Dec 14, 2014 / sampunk9494 - Dec 15, 2014
|I was never interested in college because I had no aim in life. Common App Transfer Essay
5 - Another way of writing this essay, in order to place a positive spin on your community college experience would...
UndergraduatePanda29 - Dec 13, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 14, 2014
|"Duality". The 'Why Columbia?' Supplement Essay Tips?
13 - Wow, thank you so much. Really, I couldn't have done it without your guidance. Don't apologize for coming...
UndergraduateFullofSeoul - Dec 1, 2014 / FullofSeoul - Dec 14, 2014
|Education has always been a bit of a delicate matter in the Aziz household; Common App prompt 1.
2 - Proper feedback and scoring may only be provided one you supply the essay prompt. Right now we can't offer...
Undergraduateezraclay - Dec 14, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 14, 2014
|MIT Cultural Background Essay || INDIA || SIKH
5 - As an Indian, I am always proud of its Rich and Diversified Culture.Ours Our culture is an amalgamation of...
Undergraduatejagdeep5171 - Dec 11, 2014 / Panda29 - Dec 14, 2014
|I learned the sport all by myself - Skating - Extracurricular Activities essay
Undergraduategia - Dec 6, 2014 / gia - Dec 13, 2014
|I wondered how humans could prove their existence after reading the "brain-in-a-vat" - 'Why' Essay
4 - Coco, you have a very well developed essay that addressed the prompt in a highly detailed and articulate manner....
Undergraduatezkc19 - Dec 6, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 13, 2014
|In pain and tired, but happy - the gym has become one of the most meaningful places for me
2 - There are quite a number of grammatical errors in the essay that I am currently refraining from correcting as...
UndergraduatePereirar23 - Dec 12, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 13, 2014
|I strive to balance my identity between iPads and Cow Pies
4 - tehreem, your article is good written and draws a comparision between city and village life . but the way...
Undergraduatetehreem - Dec 12, 2014 / anees - Dec 13, 2014
|My educational goal is PhD of engineer - Waterloo's Computer Engineer Admission Information Form
6 - Pereira is right. You need to dig deeper and try to reflect the development of your interest in computer...
UndergraduateMasonvo - Dec 9, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 13, 2014
|Science, Mathematics is the backbone of any country, it can't be exchanged by History and Literature
Undergraduategautam007 - Dec 12, 2014 / gautam007 - Dec 12, 2014
|Apart from studies, University of Pennsylvania has abundance of sources and activities to explore
19 - thank you so so much for all the help..I'm confident about this version and will submit it. Thanks again...
Undergraduategia - Dec 4, 2014 / gia - Dec 12, 2014
|Participation in the Smart Scholars program - challenge that brought out the best and worst from me
2 - Try to convey to the reader that you yourself implemented this change instead of attributing it all to the...
Undergraduateduedateguy - Dec 12, 2014 / tehreem - Dec 12, 2014
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