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|I had never been so sure of myself in my whole life. Rutgers essay
Undergraduatebelle9ja - Dec 3, 2014 / belle9ja - Dec 3, 2014
|Syracuse University - I knew that this school was everything and more than what I dreamt of.
6 - I agree with Vangiespan in that it is generic. "I knew that this school was everything and more...
Undergraduatejohn17 - Dec 2, 2014 / zeeconomist - Dec 3, 2014
|The road less traveled challenged me because i hate it - common app supplement
3 - I agree with the previous response. How did the poem's idea/ concept/ theme impact you? Did it stir something...
UndergraduateMayaAngelou - Nov 30, 2014 / leiya0920 - Dec 3, 2014
|Enjoying the summer in my Gramma's house
5 - Adrea, I agree that you wrote a very good essay that unfortunately, does not address the prompt in the...
Undergraduateandreak1022 - Dec 2, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 2, 2014
|my opinion on abortion - murdering a child cold-blooded
2 - The paper is good, just some grammatical errors. And I apologize if everything I've added is not completely...
Undergraduateicherio - Dec 2, 2014 / briannalottchea - Dec 2, 2014
|'joyous heart' - A Student's Plea of Character - Common App extra info
4 - Thank you for the feedback. I believe that was my foremost concern regarding the style of this essay, both...
UndergraduateHerrenshire - Dec 1, 2014 / Herrenshire - Dec 2, 2014
|My classmate Chen with language barrier, due to the brain damage, caused by car accident
5 - Thanks a lot. Sorry I didn't reply you promptly since I've been working on filling out the application. Following...
Undergraduatedominic_jiang - Nov 23, 2014 / dominic_jiang - Dec 2, 2014
|My Chinese name - Yueqiao, brings my weapons to make me grow and my bridges across the world!
6 - Amanda, I definitely misunderstood some parts of your essay. Thanks for clarifying those parts for me. That said, you...
UndergraduateAmanda Yueqiao - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 2, 2014
|Educational goal ; Engineering interests ; Waterloo AIF
2 - Michael, in my opinion, your response to the first essay prompt is not applicable to the question being asked....
UndergraduateExiaSR - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 2, 2014
|"Of My Own Will"; 'sickening smell of isoform, antiseptics, and the scent of "Get Well" flowers'
2 - If you want to tie this essay into a business major, you should not be discussing such a highly...
Undergraduatecollegekid - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|'Problems are an inherent component of any society' - Princeton Common Application Supplement Essay
3 - I would agree with cutting out the excess details in relation to Kokesh's journey. I should probably try to...
UndergraduateTh25cc - Dec 1, 2014 / Th25cc - Dec 1, 2014
|Eating dinner alone is a catalyst for growth. Mentally and physically. Common App Essay - Prompt 1
2 - This is not a bad essay. A few things that I'd recommend is shortening this whole section about your...
Undergraduateashluu - Dec 1, 2014 / FullofSeoul - Dec 1, 2014
|I have always hated waiting and yet here I was sticked around for judges verdict. UC Essay prompt 2
8 - Hey! I decided to submit yesterday as I didn't want to take any chances. However, I decided to...
UndergraduateProBoundz - Nov 29, 2014 / ProBoundz - Dec 1, 2014
|She's the one that gave me life, she is the person who helps me a lot - my mom.
8 - The person i admire most is my mother.she is a hardworking person and she is very close to me...
Undergraduatesalma21 - Nov 29, 2014 / salma21 - Dec 1, 2014
|I truly embraced service to my community throughout high school and will continue to do so
2 - Marcus, do not offer information that is not being asked for in the essay. You are only allotted 150...
Undergraduateblazetrailer - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|"Curious" was the mostly used adjective in reference to me - personal essay
4 - In that case, write this personal essay without any reference to your chosen major. Any writing supplements relating to...
Undergraduatexandera - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|Business is something I have had a vast attachment and curiosity towards for as long as I remember
2 - Zaheen, aside from needing to divide your essay into paragraphs, your narration has successfully answered the prompt and presented...
Undergraduatetzaheen - Dec 1, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|NYUad nomination essay - Linguistic scenario in Nepal
Undergraduatenischal18 - Nov 27, 2014 / Amanda Yueqiao - Dec 1, 2014
|To me UWC, is transformational education at its best; Why UWC? International high school application
Undergraduatealbidealist9 - Nov 30, 2014 / albidealist9 - Dec 1, 2014
|'Look mommy - a scorpion!' - UC Application Essay (my world I came from)
2 - This first paragraph does not help establish anything about the world that you come from and the influences that...
UndergraduateLifeHacker - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|I was going to follow in my grandfather's footsteps and pursue a degree in Business Administration
2 - - Try avoid cliche statements like "since i was little". In fact, you should skip this paragraph altogether....
Undergraduatesgilbert - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Dec 1, 2014
|'I was born in Mombasa, Kenya and lived with my mother and father' - UC college entrance essay
4 - Much better. However, I believe that you should explain how the lack of education on your mother's part hindered...
Undergraduatehari11296 - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|Smaller class is what I'm looking for; nurse career - VCU ESSAY PROMPTS - PRIMARY GOAL - WHY VCU
Undergraduatecaccardi7 - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|'We are all walking advertisements' - Advertising and Marketing Communications Major Essay
2 - Elizabeth, your essay suffers from an identity crisis. Either you write an essay regarding your qualifications as a FIT...
Undergraduateesherb - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|I'll cherish every minute to experience distinctive life and try my best to be a better person.
2 - Cora, your SOP sounds more like a college application and creative essay more than a forma statement of purpose.Are...
Undergraduatecorachang - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|"Were pH an expression of personality, what would be your pH and why?"
UndergraduateSafree - Nov 28, 2014 / Safree - Nov 30, 2014
|The Function Defined as P = Math - College Essay
UndergraduateSineFine - Nov 18, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|From electrical to Industrial - my SOP for review
2 - Mohammed, you have to understand that when you apply for higher learning, more weight is given to your professional...
UndergraduateMaddy2291 - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|With my little Fisher Price cassette player I interviewed family members about their favorite things
4 - It will work. But you need to mention each organization, what you learned from your participation there, and how...
Undergraduatekatlissette - Nov 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|I generally have the values of an introvert; School of Visual Arts (500 Words) General College Essay
4 - You have presented a good discussion in response to the prompt Devon. However, you can use some improvement with...
UndergraduateOllomod - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|I am many things, but a public speaker is not one of them. UC PROMPT #2
3 - Gosh Thank you so much, I always doubt my writing so that was extremely motivating , thank you :)...
Undergraduatecharlieejune - Nov 29, 2014 / charlieejune - Nov 30, 2014
|Studying history allows us to understand the growth of "humanity"... Lehigh Essay
7 - This is great! Thank you. I sometimes struggle with condensing my own writing in fear that I might cut...
Undergraduatedhizzy - Nov 28, 2014 / dhizzy - Nov 30, 2014
|'open mind and the willingness to think creatively' - CIVIL ENGINEERING UC PERSONAL STATEMENT
Undergraduatejoshtsou - Nov 28, 2014 / ericaaxox3 - Nov 30, 2014
|UC Personal Statement # 1 Describe the world you come from
5 - I suggest that you cut out the following paragraph from your essay: The essay just works better...
UndergraduateYanagawa - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|Diversity has no bounds, Diversity can be made up of all creatures or all matter - Boulder answer
2 - Aaron, you actually wrote a lot of words but still ended up not answering the prompt questions properly. You...
UndergraduateCow5215 - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 30, 2014
|This is an essay with a lot of painful memories - Describe how the world shaped you.
4 - Revised my essay. It was night. With a loud pound my bedroom door was flung open. The intruder...
Undergraduatezuxy - Nov 29, 2014 / zuxy - Nov 30, 2014
|UC Econ Major Transfer Prompts Fall 2015
2 - I think you have answered all the aspects of the primary question. You have included what was asked for...
Undergraduatewhyteavenger945 - Nov 27, 2014 / Felly - Nov 29, 2014
|'it is a joy to be in school' - CU- Boulder Background Essay
9 - Perfect thank you so much Jazmin! I will definitely change before monday, my deadline is Dec 1 haha. :-)....
UndergraduateCow5215 - Nov 28, 2014 / Cow5215 - Nov 29, 2014
|Sibling. Apart from the similarity in facial structures, I can see how else people could compare us.
UndergraduateJazH2015 - Nov 29, 2014 / Cow5215 - Nov 29, 2014
|I was daydreaming about a typical, everyday routine of a high school student - Homeschool Background
Undergraduatejmjsoccer12 - Nov 23, 2014 / jmjsoccer12 - Nov 29, 2014
|Healing and helping people through a healthy diet - college application essay
2 - Jennifer, I think your essay will benefit better from the mention of your wish to become a dietician early...
UndergraduateJennez90 - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|One kid is all it takes - common app
2 - This is a very interesting essay Tristan. However, you need to make the beginning clearer to the reader. Instead...
Undergraduateleetristan13 - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|I was born inside the Chinese community in Italy. Short essay for University of Washington, Prompt 2
2 - Andrea, you need to explain the kind of mentality that your parents were trying to make you develop. What...
Undergraduatea402099719 - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|The Little Dash that Could UC Prompt #1
2 - I really love the bus metaphor! One advice I would give is that your hospital paragraph feels out of...
Undergraduatecervantesydney - Nov 29, 2014 / zuxy - Nov 29, 2014
|Reaching the rank of Eagle Scout - Intended Major: Business Administration. UC Prompt #1!
Undergraduateaduong - Nov 28, 2014 / aduong - Nov 29, 2014
|I consider myself extremely lucky to have stumbled upon two things that fuel my passion. UC personal
2 - Try not directly say "My dream is" show the reader do not tell, but overall great job! Good luck....
UndergraduateAHussain - Nov 29, 2014 / cervantesydney - Nov 29, 2014
|Impact of nature and nurture on child development
3 - This is a very intriguing paper. A few areas of weakness are that your point of view changes here...
UndergraduateKatiepark22 - Nov 29, 2014 / lesliepalik - Nov 29, 2014
|Cognitive science is the path where I want to continue my education - UC Transfer PROMPT #1
Undergraduatessuen - Nov 29, 2014 / AHussain - Nov 29, 2014
|Chance at self discovery | Boston University supplement
3 - Edited: Coming from a very small town and tight-knit school community, I have always dreamt of the opportunity...
Undergraduatesaiai24 - Nov 29, 2014 / saiai24 - Nov 29, 2014
|I can contribute to the diverse culture of the University more than other typical Korean-Americans
3 - Nice essay. Beginning needs some working on. I would also suggest adding how you managed to get along in...
Undergraduateamkorchi - Nov 29, 2014 / ProBoundz - Nov 29, 2014
|What seemed like a curse at first, it was truly a blessing in disguise; personal statement for UW
4 - Try to review the essay for content and redundancies. Find out which portions seem to have repeated information and...
Undergraduateamkorchi - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|Hi my paper is on Ebola and this is an English class. This is mla format
Undergraduatefahadalharam - Nov 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|Riding my life on smiles
Undergraduateciennalongwood - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|I grew up in heaven that nurtured me into an aspiring young man who is eager to pursue his dreams
2 - Logan, in my opinion, you should make the following paragraph your opening paragraph: That paragraph immediately draws...
Undergraduateloganwicker - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|Surviving limited resources in Madiun
2 - This is an excellent essay Melati. You clearly describe the world you come from and the trials and tribulations...
Undergraduatemelramadhani - Nov 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|UC Prompt 1 - Majoring in Computer Science to help the working industry
3 - Hi. The moment I was determined to learn computer science was actually a past experience, but maybe a present...
Undergraduateanthonysw - Nov 28, 2014 / anthonysw - Nov 29, 2014
|Fascination for the human body and a career in medicine - UC Prompt 1
3 - Genesis, the latter part of your essay works very well. It is the first part that you have to...
UndergraduateLitleG - Nov 28, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 29, 2014
|Children have more opportunities in big cities rather than in countryside
2 - i was told that in a persuasive essay you shouldn't be saying "well they both have their benefits" stick...
Undergraduatekevin11tw - Nov 29, 2014 / Steph_cast - Nov 29, 2014
|The expectations that my parents have tried to impress upon me seem archaic and unreasonable
UndergraduateAvelys - Nov 29, 2014 / ProBoundz - Nov 29, 2014
|Any factors that you believe are important / pertinent to the consideration of your application
2 - I think you gave great detail about the situations. However, i do not like your dreadful words about how...
Undergraduatetzaheen - Nov 28, 2014 / Kelvinz888 - Nov 29, 2014
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