|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 59 of 429|
|I investigate people. Why major- Statistics
2 - I think that your first paragraph about the leaflet is too long. I think you need to talk more...
UndergraduateRainyZhang - Nov 1, 2014 / AlyssaAbbate - Nov 1, 2014
|I'm a green butterfly - it symbolizes a sense of gentleness, serenity, and warmth; William and Mary
5 - So vangiespen, I took your advice and tried to incorporate the stages from a caterpillar to a butterfly. Tell...
Undergraduatejjj90 - Oct 31, 2014 / jjj90 - Nov 1, 2014
|"Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution" - An essay about Failure
6 - I think the first two paragraph about the experiment is long-winded. Maybe you should talk more about what you...
UndergraduateRainyZhang - Nov 1, 2014 / Frangiepanie - Nov 1, 2014
|Sustainability, Entrepreneurship, Marketing, and Global Business - U of Michigan Ross Business Essay
2 - Opportunities There are two attributive clauses that may be cumbersome. My prefer one is "this critical,...
UndergraduateAlyssaAbbate - Nov 1, 2014 / RainyZhang - Nov 1, 2014
|As my motto is "never settle", I'm looking for strength and power to go forward direct to my goal
3 - Hi asem, is this a scholarship essay? If yes. Please focus on your financial burden, little of your academic...
UndergraduateAsem - Nov 1, 2014 / Modewap - Nov 1, 2014
|"Asking questions make you stupid" was a belief I always had, but I challenged it - COMMONAPP ESSAY
UndergraduateFrangiepanie - Oct 28, 2014 / RainyZhang - Nov 1, 2014
|When you catch a glimpse of your potential, that's when passion is born
2 - Ansh, you seem to be addressing two different essay prompts in this paper. Can you provide me with the...
Undergraduateanshysahani - Oct 31, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2014
|Caltech ethics and challenge prompt
4 - I'll add in your suggestions, Mismak. Louisa, I'd thought about that when I started writing, and I figured...
Undergraduateicaruswalks - Oct 31, 2014 / icaruswalks - Nov 1, 2014
|A day in 'the good life' begins with waking to the sound of jazz
2 - Taylor, this is a very good flash forward into the good life that you envision. However, the essay is...
UndergraduateTaylorInc - Oct 31, 2014 / vangiespen - Nov 1, 2014
|Expression Through Hair - Common App Essay
7 - Okay, I made about 1 or 2 changes in word choice, and organized my new paragraphs into the essay....
Undergraduatexeber_97 - Oct 30, 2014 / xeber_97 - Oct 31, 2014
|A woman, carrying her newborn on her shoulders, was selling utensils - Making a difference essay
10 - Pranu, you spend too much time reflecting on the story of the woman selling utensils and your friend instead...
UndergraduatePranu - Oct 15, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2014
|I will not sacrifice - Why BU is a good fit for me.
Undergraduatexeber_97 - Oct 31, 2014 / xeber_97 - Oct 31, 2014
|"Stop ladies pray!" - The importance of music throughout my life Yale Admissions essay
3 - This is a very interesting piece of work Megan. Your depiction of learning how to play the violin over...
UndergraduateMegan642 - Oct 31, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2014
|Admittedly, I was nervous: What would they think of me?
Undergraduatejjj90 - Oct 31, 2014 / jjj90 - Oct 31, 2014
|Whenever I went to summer camp we always played fish bowl - Penn supplement
3 - thanks!...
Undergraduatejayj - Oct 31, 2014 / jayj - Oct 31, 2014
|"Sobremesa" - UChicago; untranslatable, personal word
6 - In your first paragraph in Spanish, there are some things you need to change. I don't know if the...
Undergraduateshannonnmm - Oct 30, 2014 / AndrewT97 - Oct 31, 2014
|Diversity is a beautiful thing. Imagine how boring the world would be if it were homogenous
UndergraduateAndrewT97 - Oct 30, 2014 / AndrewT97 - Oct 31, 2014
|A truly effective leader must be visionary - North Carolina State
4 - Thank you. I have changed the second sentence to: Therefore, I believe that a truly effective leader must be...
UndergraduateSeabelle05 - Oct 31, 2014 / Seabelle05 - Oct 31, 2014
|A Secret Worth Sharing
Undergraduatezhuzhu08 - Oct 30, 2014 / restinpizza - Oct 31, 2014
|I hated ballet- Common App Essay
5 - Thank you! You're comment seriously made me tear up. I feel very confident in submitting this essay, thank you...
UndergraduateMegan642 - Oct 30, 2014 / Megan642 - Oct 31, 2014
|GAP year essay for common app required explanation. Mount Holyoke College Applicant
Undergraduateenashley13 - Oct 28, 2014 / enashley13 - Oct 31, 2014
|Nigerian - I have always felt like an outcast - Wisconsin Unnoticed essay
4 - I believe that you can also use this essay for your central identity prompt but you will have to...
UndergraduateDapocalypse7 - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 31, 2014
|'sitting on the steps of the Low Memorial Library' - Columbia University essay
6 - I just remembered an anecdote that would connect architecture and my desire for liberal arts! (with your help) Thanks...
Undergraduatesenpenguin - Oct 29, 2014 / senpenguin - Oct 30, 2014
|"choose career you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life" - FIT admission essay
Undergraduateryleeclark - Oct 23, 2014 / heyitsrylee - Oct 30, 2014
|For the past 10 years of my life, I have been deeply involved with my district's 4-H Program
Undergraduatearfieldsy - Oct 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 30, 2014
|I had never expected that Economics would become my dream major - UIUC essay
4 - A few sentences of whole paragraphs about it, either way will work. What is important is that you are...
Undergraduatekkkkkrypton - Oct 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 30, 2014
|The word "Ethiopian" over the years have been manipulated to mean so many things nowadays
6 - i really don't know which parts to shorten but i understand it being too long and cutting out unnecessary...
UndergraduateMismak17 - Oct 27, 2014 / Mismak17 - Oct 30, 2014
|The sky flamed like an overripe mango; vivid reds and oranges spilling into the horizon.
3 - Sarah, I agree with Shannon in this case. You just need to revise the introduction to the paragraph. I...
Undergraduatesingah - Oct 30, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 30, 2014
|If I'd follow the path of what society thinks about ways to become successful, I would fail.
Undergraduateqweralokd - Oct 30, 2014 / qweralokd - Oct 30, 2014
|Essay on swimming - it's part of my life - Babson
8 - Louisa, thanks for helping me with this! Below is my final version. I've always thought that being short...
UndergraduateCharphil - Oct 28, 2014 / Charphil - Oct 30, 2014
|Home is Where Honduras is - some things are best when together - my goal and passion
5 - Hey Andrew, Your essay looks fine and I really liked the ending. However, as I read through it,...
UndergraduateAndrewT97 - Oct 29, 2014 / Charphil - Oct 30, 2014
|Leaving everyone I know in my small circle of friends and family (in Egypt)
4 - In my opinion, you should not include the part where Cyber Security is highly sought out by employers. I...
UndergraduateMrfuzz - Oct 30, 2014 / AndrewT97 - Oct 30, 2014
|For the past 17 years of painful transitions I have gained great understanding of different cultures
3 - I can't thank you enough for your detailed and well developed feedback and I agree with you on most...
UndergraduateMrfuzz - Oct 30, 2014 / Mrfuzz - Oct 30, 2014
|Self realization - satisfaction breeds complacency and propels the mindset of mediocrity
Undergraduatenanaakosah - Oct 29, 2014 / nanaakosah - Oct 30, 2014
|Let your life speak! Living in Saudi Arabia I became accustomed to acting with stoic reservation
2 - Danah, since you have written you want to be a doctor, univeristies may enroll you as a medical freshman,...
UndergraduateDanah96 - Oct 30, 2014 / kkkkkrypton - Oct 30, 2014
|Life Amidst Death - Saturdays in the garden are my weekly treasures (Common App prompt 4)
5 - This is a beautiful essay, definitely shows that you're such an ardent wordsmith. Just a minor grammatical error :...
Undergraduatelightjade - Oct 29, 2014 / melramadhani - Oct 30, 2014
|Half of a Whole (death of twin brother) Personal Statement
3 - Mireya, this is a very good topic for your Central ID essay. However, I feel that there is in...
Undergraduatemirrrrr - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|The decision of what career I would like to pursue is a very difficult and stressful time for me
Undergraduatetm71207 - Oct 27, 2014 / mirrrrr - Oct 29, 2014
|"vegetarian manner of living would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind" Ignorance = Bliss
3 - Rebecca, this is not an essay that answers the prompt. You are being asked to address an issue that...
Undergraduatebeccagrapevines - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|"A life marked by a high standard of living" - The Good Life Essay for University of Florida
2 - I really like your concept about the good life just being life. However, you have some grammar issues and...
UndergraduateDJ2015 - Oct 29, 2014 / mirrrrr - Oct 29, 2014
|My first job at a fast food restaurant in an amusement park when I truly began to mature
Undergraduatedumbnerd123 - Oct 26, 2014 / dumbnerd123 - Oct 29, 2014
|'I spent plenty of time watching television' - your major and your school; why did you choose it?
UndergraduateSire - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|"Do what you love"; "what do I love to do though?" -- my family
Undergraduatejayj - Oct 25, 2014 / jayj - Oct 29, 2014
|'I have learnt to draw a distinction between passion and interest' - Agriculture and Life Sciences
Undergraduatemyming - Oct 29, 2014 / lightjade - Oct 29, 2014
|'the amenities the school has to offer' - University of North Carolina Wilmington
Undergraduatebeccagrapevines - Oct 29, 2014 / beccagrapevines - Oct 29, 2014
|I make "to do" lists (I love organization) - UVA essay on Quirks
4 - Very creative. Where you say "English Essay: done, cross that off. " and "Thank you note: written, scratch through...
Undergraduateannelb97 - Oct 29, 2014 / beccagrapevines - Oct 29, 2014
|Fixing connectedness - UM Pre-Essay
2 - M. Riley, your first essay is quite good. However, the idea of teaching at Sunday school depicts an image...
UndergraduateUMhopeful - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|"Across the Bridge" Prompt 1 Central ID Story - Common APP essay
2 - Jesus, this is admirable essay. However, I believe that you need to develop the voices that you hear in...
UndergraduateMartinez - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|I cannot wait to proudly call myself a member of the Ram family. VCU Admission Essay
2 - Kobina, I have some notes for you to consider regarding your essay. These are important so please take note...
Undergraduaterg33gr - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|Design an academic course Emory Prompt 1 essay
UndergraduateMismak17 - Oct 28, 2014 / Mismak17 - Oct 29, 2014
|Patience, dedication and motivation are three traits I stand by.
5 - I took your advice and change a lot throughout the essay. Please continue with the feedback and edits. Thank...
Undergraduatecson722 - Oct 27, 2014 / cson722 - Oct 29, 2014
|This journey isn't a simple road trip that you sometimes get lost in - UF APPLICATION
Undergraduatetrinity1 - Oct 26, 2014 / trinity1 - Oct 29, 2014
|ITT Entrance Essay - "What subjects inspire you?"
2 - Danyal, the essay is asking you to discuss an academic area that inspires you. In this case, the academic...
UndergraduateSire - Oct 29, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|Large, swivelly computer chair in front of my laptop, headphones on, glass of milk - it's my place
Undergraduatemongy910 - Oct 29, 2014 / mongy910 - Oct 29, 2014
|The first place that comes to mind is the toddler classroom of my church - Perfectly Content?
2 - This essay seems pretty good but I think it could be better. You should try to explain some of...
UndergraduateCommonapp - Oct 29, 2014 / Sire - Oct 29, 2014
|UM- Originality in why I choose their school
UndergraduateUMBound15 - Oct 29, 2014 / rg33gr - Oct 29, 2014
|'born between my loving mother and my grandparents' - UPenn Personal Essay
3 - Thank you so much for the suggestions vangiespen I appreciate your suggestions. I have rewritten the essay and tried...
UndergraduateUPenn2015 - Oct 28, 2014 / UPenn2015 - Oct 29, 2014
|"Tell me what happened" - VCU Struggle Essay
Undergraduaterestinpizza - Oct 28, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 29, 2014
|I was five years of old when my whole world collapsed - UF "good life" essay
5 - Thanks for the help so much!!! The deadline is November 1 but i was advised to submit my application...
UndergraduateVTP77 - Oct 28, 2014 / VTP77 - Oct 29, 2014
|UVA-Work of literature that has inspired me-Fast Food Nation
Undergraduateestherh - Oct 28, 2014 / estherh - Oct 29, 2014
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