|Undergraduate [25,622] - page 59 of 428|
|Challenging Religion to Become a Better Person (I'm 50 words over the limit)
3 - Thanks! My biggest issue is the word count so I'm going to have to work on condensing some parts....
Undergraduateswdasa - Oct 24, 2014 / swdasa - Oct 24, 2014
|UCHICAGO Essay - DARK SKY, ROOFTOP, AND A CUP OF WARM CHOCOLATE
2 - wow...After reading your essay, I realize that as a foreigner, I really couldn't understand some phrases and expression. Maybe...
Undergraduatealiefmoulana - Oct 24, 2014 / nicolezmh1997 - Oct 24, 2014
|The silence was deafening. Tennis court - Common App Essay
4 - This is very good liomio..but take Lucy's advice,and your essay will be polished.I think you're a good writer.Can you...
Undergraduateliomio - Oct 23, 2014 / Atom007 - Oct 24, 2014
|My Father's Dedication - my values and principles were altered because of him
3 - There are a lot of grammatical errors you should watch out for. e.g here are some suggestions: ...
Undergraduatemelramadhani - Oct 23, 2014 / Dapocalypse7 - Oct 24, 2014
|"Observe the Global Warming " - An intellectual experience. Dartmouth supplement
4 - Adding personal experience is a good tactic. In your conclusion try to incorporate your teacher. What part does...
Undergraduatedominic_jiang - Oct 23, 2014 / RawrKiwiz - Oct 24, 2014
|My Mothers Accident- A Common Application
UndergraduateKarlyC - Oct 24, 2014 / aliefmoulana - Oct 24, 2014
|Campus Construction - Renovation of the UET Peshawar building
2 - To guarantee qualitative improvement of UET Peshawar building, all departments' buildings will be renovated within 3 years, s o...
UndergraduateMudassir - Oct 23, 2014 / aliefmoulana - Oct 24, 2014
|MIT Supplements: Culture/Activity for Pleasure/Department/Attribute/Challenge
Undergraduatecollegeplease - Oct 23, 2014 / collegeplease - Oct 24, 2014
|industrial and interaction design / grown man who is doing what he loves - Syracuse Questions
UndergraduateKevstevbot - Oct 21, 2014 / Kevstevbot - Oct 23, 2014
|No Goodbye - I had to accept the inevitable occurrence and move on with life - Commonapp
UndergraduateAllotey - Oct 23, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Oct 23, 2014
|Family of doctor and geophysicist - international student/ penn state personal statement
UndergraduateDapocalypse7 - Oct 23, 2014 / YULIS - Oct 23, 2014
|When does narrative cross into wordiness?
UndergraduateHan1 - Oct 22, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Oct 23, 2014
|Going outside my "bubble" - Common App Essay
Undergraduateeugene_611925 - Oct 23, 2014 / bratt99 - Oct 23, 2014
|Being the only South Asian child in the australian neighborhood - USF UNDERGRADUATE COLLEGE ESSAY
6 - Firstly , well done! Secondly, attempt utilizing more academic vocabulary instead of using get , good, bad......
Undergraduateshamrazaman - Oct 19, 2014 / Vns9x - Oct 23, 2014
|The sights! The smells! The sounds! The atmosphere! - VCU admission essay
4 - I agree with the above statement. Northern Virginia, and that's experiences. Making experience, making ins and...
UndergraduateAmirahxr - Oct 22, 2014 / collegeplease - Oct 23, 2014
|"A dreamer" - Personal essay about directions for the future
11 - Sorry for the extremely late reply :( I have been busy with my IB Course work. Anyways, thank...
Undergraduatecommunity - Oct 6, 2014 / community - Oct 23, 2014
|"What do you want to become in the future?" Anything but Engineering
5 - Marky8, thank you so much for ALL of these sweeeeet grammar checks and comments! Yes they are definitely helping....
Undergraduatedowotyyyyy - Oct 22, 2014 / dowotyyyyy - Oct 22, 2014
|'Medical Spelling and Medical Reading - topics I studied constantly'; Accelerated Health Professions
2 - It wasn't until my second year of high school that I walked into the biology lab and knew that...
UndergraduateIHaile - Oct 22, 2014 / dominic_jiang - Oct 22, 2014
|College Essay - "I need to go find my parents. My dad is looking for me"
Undergraduate16chauc - Oct 14, 2014 / 16chauc - Oct 22, 2014
|Public speaking was never my forte. Disappointment and Failure of a school assignment.
4 - Hi Andrew, in answer to your question, yes, there are grammar corrections to be fixed in the essay and...
UndergraduateHumanMan - Oct 19, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 22, 2014
|Almost dead - A ruff lesson; interesting interaction you've had with someone different than yourself
16 - Alina, rejection from colleges and universities does not always happen because of a lack of writing skills. There are...
UndergraduateAlinaSkripets - Oct 18, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 22, 2014
|As I progressed through Fur Elise, I reflected on everything that had happened in the past months.
2 - Your topic is a little ambiguous. What was happening at the beginning of the essay? Maybe focus on a...
Undergraduatemayradio0508 - Oct 22, 2014 / rarghal - Oct 22, 2014
|Legos -- MIT Significant Challenge Essay
2 - Hi Dibya! It's a very good essay. Through this essay I can see your interest on biology and your...
Undergraduatedjgvolt - Oct 21, 2014 / dominic_jiang - Oct 22, 2014
|My dad's journey to his new liver - it has inspired and shaped me into the person I am today.
3 - I think you should give less background info and write more on how the experience affected you and show...
UndergraduateKelley - Oct 21, 2014 / mayradio0508 - Oct 22, 2014
|I grew up to become an adolescent who had fallen deeply in love with science - Reasons & Objectives
3 - Thank you very much for your help and ositive feedback. I will work on the point mentioned. ;-)...
Undergraduatemarky8 - Oct 20, 2014 / marky8 - Oct 22, 2014
|UNIVERSITY COLORADO BOULDER. (How you could increase our diverse and inclusive community?)
2 - They think your essay is great, you seemed to briefly address each aspect. Your story is very important, as...
UndergraduateCaptainCook - Oct 22, 2014 / fordeja1 - Oct 22, 2014
|"Remains of War: Capitalists. Communists. War." - Common App Essay
Undergraduateegn711 - Oct 19, 2014 / egn711 - Oct 21, 2014
|'I hate trade-offs': why Barnard?
2 - I like your essay! However, the beginning "first and foremost, I would require more than 250 words," sounds a...
Undergraduatemgirl - Oct 21, 2014 / estherh - Oct 21, 2014
|Life in Pictures and Shapes - Common App Essay
Undergraduatefwei15 - Oct 21, 2014 / estherh - Oct 21, 2014
|'I represented my country at the highest level' - University of California Prompt
UndergraduateCaptainCook - Oct 20, 2014 / gbekil - Oct 21, 2014
|My stay at a boarding school in Eastern Nigeria (a symbol of my coming of age)
Undergraduatejjj90 - Oct 17, 2014 / Vns9x - Oct 21, 2014
|Describe your notion of "the good life."
3 - Recognizing that this is a very new rough draft, one thing you can do to make your essay stand...
Undergraduateastew5 - Oct 20, 2014 / djgvolt - Oct 21, 2014
|Common App- Describe a place or environment essay!! Advice?
3 - You can develop the essay a little further by trimming the content. The general substance of the essay is...
Undergraduateaimank - Oct 20, 2014 / djgvolt - Oct 21, 2014
|UF admissions essay, my notion of 'the good life'
5 - I think is a pretty good essay, but you should write more about the outcome you expect to gain...
UndergraduateKsinger - Oct 20, 2014 / fp2014 - Oct 20, 2014
|Everyone is in his or her own "little world" - COMMON APP ESSAY
5 - In middle school, hormones are rampant in the hallways and excessive fumes of body spray in the locker rooms...
Undergraduatesaiplayer1 - Oct 1, 2014 / saiplayer1 - Oct 20, 2014
|The Gulf of Mexico, engulfed in black oil - Prelude - Texas A&M
2 - This is excellent, inspired writing. I bet you will go through quite a process in the way you think...
UndergraduateDuncanDonut - Oct 19, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Oct 20, 2014
|'Outside is cold and dry' - Common App Essay - childhood to adulthood transformation
3 - OMG Thanks for your suggestion vangiespen! But rewrite the whole essay is not a good news at all....ugh...
Undergraduatedowotyyyyy - Oct 20, 2014 / dowotyyyyy - Oct 20, 2014
|I created an imaginary friend named Oliver - Undergraduate College Essay
3 - Ellen, you have one confused essay here. You need to pick only one of the topics that you have...
UndergraduateEllenF - Oct 20, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 20, 2014
|You Are what you give - University of Florida essay ''The good life''
2 - your last paragraph is a little too vague maybe extend on how you are going to contribute to the...
Undergraduatejuligp97 - Oct 20, 2014 / Ksinger - Oct 20, 2014
|My drawer; Shalwar kameez's, Pakistani dresses, rainbow of colors and designs - admission for U of M
3 - thanks so much! I wasn't actually born in Pakistan but I have a better idea of what to include...
Undergraduaterafiquso - Oct 19, 2014 / rafiquso - Oct 20, 2014
|Michigan State University, volunteering, significant experience, Volunteers of America, life lesson
2 - Hey Danielle, I like your essay, but it needs a little bit of work. In your second sentence instead...
Undergraduatedaniellelp13 - Oct 20, 2014 / juligp97 - Oct 20, 2014
|'I live by the Iguana Rule' - Stanford roommate letter
5 - Sorry for taking such a long time to reply, I was busy taking SAT Subject Tests, and started preparing...
Undergraduateoriyanh - Oct 16, 2014 / oriyanh - Oct 20, 2014
|Before I could across the Civilization I was not sure which path to choose in life
UndergraduateAlinaSkripets - Oct 15, 2014 / AlinaSkripets - Oct 20, 2014
|Activities / vacations / values - (Princeton University Supplemental)
3 - Thanks a lot! Whenever you have the time, I'd love for you to edit and give me more feedback....
UndergraduateZero_II - Oct 17, 2014 / Zero_II - Oct 20, 2014
|Significance of fashion - FiT applicant
2 - Mark, your essay is not really answering the prompt. You should have slanted the essay towards giving the admissions...
Undergraduatemarkcastillo27 - Oct 19, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 20, 2014
|I hate keeping a diary. I record what I actually go through, rather than empty talk.
Undergraduatedominic_jiang - Oct 19, 2014 / dominic_jiang - Oct 20, 2014
|My art speaks for me. As an artist, words are sometimes too inadequate. SAIC Statement
Undergraduatetakeyuki13 - Oct 17, 2014 / takeyuki13 - Oct 20, 2014
|'not wasting lot of time attending classes' - I support of building a new high school near our home
4 - Vns, yes, you can write a 3 paragraph essay. That is the minimum paragraph count for any standard essay....
UndergraduateVns9x - Oct 18, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 20, 2014
|'I began learning a C++' - An admission essay to The University of Texas for Computer Science
3 - I think you use the word "I" so much that make your essay unsmooth. "Recently i've enrolled in math...
Undergraduatemccoyboy22 - Oct 19, 2014 / boo2601 - Oct 20, 2014
|Include an image, share its story with us.
2 - I think you should change the "attitude" of your essay. After reading it, what impresses me is only that...
Undergraduatesiyuan12345 - Oct 19, 2014 / boo2601 - Oct 20, 2014
|The feeling I get while reading a good book is unparalleled - I could even go on reading for a 24hrs
Undergraduatesaugat91 - Oct 13, 2014 / saugat91 - Oct 19, 2014
|At stressful moments, I sit anxiously at my desk, turn my candle on, and peer at this flame
2 - This is very interesting! For your last word, maybe say "fire" instead of "firestorm". It is more simple and...
Undergraduatediana147 - Oct 19, 2014 / Lucy2457 - Oct 19, 2014
|Fourth grade was finally over and it was a hot, June day - bad or unlucky at first, but good later
2 - This is a very good event to write about. In this quote here, I would recommend a few things....
UndergraduateIndianboy - Oct 19, 2014 / Lucy2457 - Oct 19, 2014
|Vast amounts traditions, extracurricular activities, and research opportunities; reasons for apply
2 - Tyler, you seem too focused on the extra curricular activities of Madison. There is no balance between your extra...
Undergraduate3mcs1dj - Oct 19, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 19, 2014
|'inspiring chat with a Syracuse Admissions Officer' - What influenced you to apply?
Undergraduatekjudge15 - Oct 18, 2014 / vangiespen - Oct 19, 2014
|"The Clintons just want a dynasty." - Common App Essay Transition to adulthood
3 - Thank you for your comments. "The Clintons just want a dynasty was actually the first line of the essay...
Undergraduaterarghal - Oct 19, 2014 / rarghal - Oct 19, 2014
|High In the Sky--Common App: An environment where I'm perfectly content and what it means to me
4 - I really enjoyed reading this! Your word choice is very good. When you are talking about meeting strangers, I...
UndergraduateWowzy - Oct 17, 2014 / Lucy2457 - Oct 19, 2014
|Tea with Pancakes - Story that changed my life
13 - Thanks as always, Vangiespen! Some of the mistakes I made are so basic... However, I have some questions to...
UndergraduateAlinaSkripets - Oct 8, 2014 / AlinaSkripets - Oct 19, 2014
|'Carrots. I don't like them.' - "Who are you?" - Georgetown personal statement
3 - Thank you!...
Undergraduateshannonnmm - Oct 18, 2014 / shannonnmm - Oct 19, 2014
|In Israel I found a type of spirituality and gratefulness that has remained with me to this day
5 - Because I am applying early action to my top schools by November 1st I want to work with what...
Undergraduatelnf - Oct 18, 2014 / lnf - Oct 19, 2014
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