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|Experiences / difficult situation / way of fun / contributing - STEM Application
3 - Honestly, from a view of non-native English speaker, I cannot really comment on grammar. But about contents, For the...
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 27, 2014 / psm9619 - Sep 28, 2014
|"Limitless" - MIT Essay; I come from a family who thinks a human limit exists
3 - You have actually written a very interesting essay. However, you need to clarify what you mean by a human...
UndergraduateMMUTHIAA - Sep 28, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 28, 2014
|The trip to a football stadium turned out to be more than an exciting experience; Common app prompt
UndergraduateCaptainCook - Sep 21, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 28, 2014
|'As any self-made man, I am man of work, and my entire world is built on it'; MIT essay
2 - There are some punctuation errors : before and you need a comma(,) when counting more than 2 things. The...
Undergraduateironhand - Sep 28, 2014 / sa1na - Sep 28, 2014
|"Wrong but Right" - a memoirs about your experience in the past and its effect on you today
5 - thank you...
UndergraduateTbontb - Sep 27, 2014 / Tbontb - Sep 28, 2014
|Moving to another state - my parents sent me to California to live with my grandma and uncle
5 - Hey, i feel like these sentences sound repetitive. you are constantly saying that you have to leave everything...
Undergraduatekev80 - Sep 27, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 27, 2014
|'I want to gain a great experience for the future' - Why USA? Why Global UGRAD?
UndergraduateHusniya - Sep 27, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|Change for the better - melting pot adventure
7 - Vinny, I have a suggestion for the content that I hope you will consider. I am stating it below...
Undergraduatevinnymj - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|Among the academic cream of American universities the University of Chicago is most convincing to me
2 - first paragraph should be about you, not about the school. it's a narrative essay, so talk about something about...
Undergraduateprofes - Sep 14, 2014 / kev80 - Sep 27, 2014
|Fashion Institute of Technology Admissions Essay - Breaking Expectation
2 - I think that we need to create a focus for your essay in order to remove the redundancies and...
Undergraduateveb080 - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 27, 2014
|I Am a Mirror-Questbridge Biographical Essay
Undergraduatesummerlilac - Sep 21, 2014 / summerlilac - Sep 26, 2014
|'journalism and media' - USC Supplement for Academic Interests in Journalism
6 - What do you mean by this? Absolutely they have. Journalism is not my field, but I worked on it...
Undergraduateemilyc28 - Nov 25, 2012 / peyman_np - Sep 26, 2014
|Body Twist - extracurricular activity under 75 words - Bryn Mawr essays
Undergraduatejojo159 - Sep 26, 2014 / jojo159 - Sep 26, 2014
|Little People & Little Things - QuestBridge Essay
3 - Linda, I really like the way you presented the part of the essay about your cousin and his experience...
Undergraduatelindabrown1997 - Sep 26, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 26, 2014
|Using Engineering to design and build machines which transform the way we live - Automotive Eng. SOP
2 - There are some commas problems revise it .For instance I would like to continue my learning process further in...
UndergraduateYatish - Sep 26, 2014 / Vns9x - Sep 26, 2014
|'I signed up to volunteer for the Special Olympics' - Common App Essay
2 - - This portion of the essay prompt clearly indicates that the place must be somewhere that you frequent...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|Father in jail - UCF Personal Statement: Overcoming an Obstacle
Undergraduatenairobi01 - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|A New Journey - leaving behind the very lax live in Philippines
Undergraduateenzomentos - Sep 25, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014
|The best day of my life. Virginia Tech Essay
5 - It would be good if you kind of explained somewhere in the essay exactly what you were doing or...
Undergraduategum101 - Sep 25, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 25, 2014
|'I have always been self-reliant' - First Draft Undergrad CommonApp Personal Statement
2 - This is a wonderfully written personal statement. Your sentiments, thoughts, and emotions are perfectly represented within the paper. I...
Undergraduatenaomimartinez - Sep 25, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|Seizing the future! ~UC Freshman Prompt
2 - SeniorPeach, while I like the hook that you created by using the story that your mother was reading...
UndergraduateSeniorPeach2015 - Sep 24, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 25, 2014
|The Importance of Diversity - Cultural Food Day (Questbridge Prompt 2)
6 - I think the essay is good overall. There are a few grammatical errors but the ending sentence- "And it's...
Undergraduatesummerlilac - Sep 21, 2014 / BlueRose99 - Sep 24, 2014
|'emulate every aspect of my mother' - UC Personal Statement: the world I come from
6 - I can't seem to find a coupon code anywhere on the internet, but I really wish this post could...
Undergraduatemsi - Sep 24, 2014 / msi - Sep 24, 2014
|ApplyTexas Essay B - Circumstance / Conflict In My Life
4 - I like that your essay is personal however I feel it's a little debbie downer in the beginning, so...
UndergraduateNightTimeRain - Sep 23, 2014 / texasbreed13 - Sep 23, 2014
|The little boy- Stanford Supplement
8 - It will help you demonstrate that you are really serious about this but you will need to tie everything...
Undergraduategodlover - Sep 21, 2014 / admission2012 - Sep 23, 2014
|Since its opening, I have always considered Snow Mountain as a place of comfort; common app essay
Undergraduateasi677 - Sep 14, 2014 / asi677 - Sep 23, 2014
|"Life's a Gas" - this song really affected me in an unsettling way
2 - One nice thing is that the vanishing you mentioned can be considered the only real salvation. Here we are...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 23, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Sep 23, 2014
|Acidity/ pH Williams Special Supplement Essay:
3 - it's an application essay (Williams Suplement) has nothing to do with IELTS. Please give some ideas to deal with...
UndergraduateRevtZ_hh - Sep 22, 2014 / RevtZ_hh - Sep 23, 2014
|Technology Addiction - University of North Carolina
2 - Dubby, you have created a very interesting essay here. It is a discussion about a theme that is very...
UndergraduateDubby - Sep 22, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 23, 2014
|The computer's world does not show its power until you start to understand it; Collage Application
4 - Sa1na, content wise, the essay is alright. So let's just work on cleaning up the grammar and sentence problems...
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 22, 2014
|'being trapped within the confines of anxiety and fear' - UC Personal Statement
3 - foxysogirl, in addition to what Nicole has said, I would like to add that you can also try to...
Undergraduatefoxysoxgirl - Sep 21, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 22, 2014
|'emotion, unlike any other, struck my body like an arrow' - Villanova Essay
2 - I LOVE LOVE LOVE the beginning it completely catches my attention. "My family was in Atlanta visiting the...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014 / Iyeshaferguson - Sep 21, 2014
|"Reflection in the Darkness": Common App Essay
Undergraduatedjgvolt - Sep 18, 2014 / godlover - Sep 21, 2014
|Born into a conservative Indian family of engineers and doctors; SCAD Statement of Purpose
4 - Since SCAD is indeed an art school, I would think taking an artsy approach to your essay would be...
Undergraduatetheroy17 - Sep 21, 2014 / lbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014
|If you created a Flash Seminar, what idea would you explore and why? (UVA)
2 - particularly the worlds that exist within our oceans My family and I were visiting the Georgia Aquarium. As...
Undergraduatelbhux13 - Sep 21, 2014 / theroy17 - Sep 21, 2014
|"Meissner effect" - My world view was mostly shaped by my school - MIT
12 - HI. Sorry for long absence; everyone who checked my essays without feedbacks - please, forgive me m(._.)m. I completely...
Undergraduateironhand - Aug 16, 2014 / ironhand - Sep 21, 2014
|'My initial interest in attending the United States Naval Academy came from living around water'
2 - My initial interest in attending the United States Naval Academy came -comes- from living -having lived around water all...
Undergraduategraycamp - Sep 21, 2014 / sa1na - Sep 21, 2014
|Many applicants to college are unsure about eventual majors. What factors led you to your interest?
Undergraduatesa1na - Sep 21, 2014 / nicolezmh1997 - Sep 21, 2014
|"Progress and Service" what does that mean to you?
3 - Hi there! Thanks for the feedback. It is one of the question by Georgia tech for freshmen applicants and...
UndergraduateCaptainCook - Sep 21, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 21, 2014
|'strange and uncommon story' - Should I write about my unique situations for the common app essay?
3 - absolutely! you have a great idea of what you want to tell the admission officers. just develop your points...
UndergraduateLiveLife - Sep 8, 2014 / CaptainCook - Sep 21, 2014
|Two short personal statements: one based on diversity, the other based on growth. Which is better?
Undergraduatem924 - Sep 17, 2014 / m924 - Sep 21, 2014
|The smallest infection or malignancy can be catastrophic and debilitating for a person; Career Goals
UndergraduateDonnaB2015 - Sep 18, 2014 / andy15 - Sep 21, 2014
|I WILL NOT LIE NYU - NYU SUPPLEMENTAL ESSAY
3 - Through reading your essay, I could only get some superficial reason for your love towards NYU. It's mainly because...
Undergraduatenikhil333 - Sep 13, 2014 / nicolezmh1997 - Sep 20, 2014
|With keen interest in creativity and designer arts, I am a person with varied interests and talents
2 - This part is not persuasive. Every time you include a sentence that is not persuasive, or at least...
UndergraduateTrendzy - Sep 19, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Sep 19, 2014
|'Losing him was losing not just a father but also a best friend' - UC prompt #1 Life experience
4 - As the others said, this work is very enthralling and you keep the reader hooked from the beginning. One...
UndergraduateArchlefirth - Sep 15, 2014 / djgvolt - Sep 18, 2014
|"Make a living out of something you love to do" - University of Texas at Austin Statement of Purpose
2 - I think the first few sentences of the first paragraph can be removed. They are not really helpful for...
Undergraduateperle95 - Sep 18, 2014 / EF_Kevin - Sep 18, 2014
|"I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN!"; Music never goes unnoticed.
Undergraduatepaigeo78 - Sep 16, 2014 / sara waled - Sep 17, 2014
|'the major I plan to pursue, Animal Sciences' - top 5 reasons to be a Hokie
Undergraduatemzywicki - Sep 16, 2014 / Ashlyn - Sep 16, 2014
|A Cheerleader - a snobby girl who is usually self-centered and typically not intelligent - UF
4 - I guess I am missing something here because I thought the main purpose of the essay was not to...
Undergraduatelidlmissblonde - Oct 12, 2008 / vangiespen - Sep 16, 2014
|'Finding a cure to a genetic disease such as ALD was legendary to me'; UPENN Supplement
Undergraduatemoogle123 - Sep 15, 2014 / moogle123 - Sep 16, 2014
|Tell UoPeople a little bit about your village, city, region or country and what makes it unique.
5 - This is an amazing idea as everyone will agree that a view of neighboring Singapore is best only from...
Undergraduatehor - Sep 15, 2014 / hor - Sep 16, 2014
|Rural area, left the community - UC prompt#1
2 - it was compulsive readin'. when it comes to your grammar, it is perfectly comprehensible. However, some minor grammar and...
Undergraduatephraephet_oh - Nov 26, 2008 / Luke Cameron Jr - Sep 16, 2014
|USNA Personal Statement - opportunity to study Aerospace engineering at the academy
3 - My advice, would be to separate the various subject sentences into paragraphs so that the reader will know to...
Undergraduaterickjaime52 - Sep 15, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 15, 2014
|"Family and Dialect" - UC Application Prompt One
UndergraduateExpeke - Sep 15, 2014 / Expeke - Sep 15, 2014
|"I am Chicano: Self Identify"
2 - ... compares two cultural identities of Mexicans: Mexicanos and Chicanos You don't need however here. It...
UndergraduateMannyDev - Sep 14, 2014 / xatutik - Sep 15, 2014
|My biggest obstacle to overcome was to accept my new surroundings; College admission essay
3 - Just a couple of months, after moving to America, my parents decided to put me into school in the...
Undergraduatekim16164 - Sep 14, 2014 / niesaysi - Sep 15, 2014
|not many opportunities for women to get education - college essay
4 - However, In 2000 I did not know English and Economics. Now I can speak English fluently and four...
Undergraduatemehwish khan - Nov 11, 2008 / fikri - Sep 15, 2014
|What do you plan to study at X University? What career are you pursing at this point and why?
UndergraduateAbdiu01 - Sep 15, 2014 / fikri - Sep 15, 2014
|My Community - The Classical Musicians; University of Michigan
Undergraduatesooysauce - Sep 14, 2014 / nickyzhi - Sep 15, 2014
|Meant to be Temple-Made - earlier I had only dreams that were way to big and scary for my small town
2 - Stefani, while you wrote a very engaging and informative single page essay but I have to tell you that...
Undergraduatestefanieionadi - Sep 14, 2014 / vangiespen - Sep 14, 2014
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